Monthly Archives: September 2015

What Are You Looking At? Anger and Its Destruction!

Blameless Olive Branch 1.1

Anger and Its Destruction!

Extending the Olive Branch in the Name of Love!

His violent, piercing words spoken relentlessly were brutal, “What are you *** looking at?  You’re the reason the family *** hates us!  No wonder I’m so *** up.”  You get my point, just fill in the stars yourself for an idea of what filled and hovered in my sky! 

Words of rage and anger strewn about through the damaging emotional darts and flaming arrows penetrated my every fiber as I was held prisoner in the shackles that were holding me captive in my cell of hell!  Another’s pain and problems stung so deeply, I could not find a way to dodge or run from them.  Instead, they tormented me violently as I grabbed my head and begged the Lord to release the ugly lies that were spoken over and weaved through my life. 

How could he say that after everything I’ve done for him?  He thinks he can corner me into this cell of hell that would announce my fear of failure through his shame and blame?  I knew his words came from a place of pain, but they were relentless.  I could not run from it or shake it.  The only resolution, it demanded he find another place to live because he could not control himself. 

I prayed for hours while being still (no, I babbled and rambled on 🙂 ) begging God to help me understand this restlessness of my soul and what to do before he was gone.  All my dreams and, yes, expectations were crushed and demolished for my prodigal son, and if anyone was going to open wide my tattered and damaged heart that had healed with a lot of scar tissue, he wasn’t going to get away with it without figuring out why I could not let go of all these emotional scars brought on from his pain and rage. 

I looked in the mirror at the silhouette looking back and I saw how the words from another were tormenting my soul.  I was angry.  Yes, justifiably angry.  I knew his words were brought out due to his own fears and pain, but why could I no longer shake it from my person?  Why was I allowing this shame and blame to manifest inside my tattered soul and heart when I knew who God said I was and I did what I could to help?  Was I angry because the plan failed?  Of course!  Was I angry because I leaped into mommy action wearing my Super Hero outfit expecting to save his world, his family, and his life?  Yes.  That mommy grief of failure and pain was torturing and occupying my every space.

Living in a cell of hell requires a miraculous breakthrough.  I needed comfort and clarification because my soul was not content yet with him leaving even though he crossed way too many boundaries.  After all, where would he go and how would he receive medical help?  The torment of a mother’s heart!

After asking a couple of girlfriends to pray for me to help me understand why I was so discontent and full of grief in his leaving, I was going to enter into a period of solitude time with the Lord while fasting and being still until the Lord answered me.  And being the high maintenance Beloved I am when it comes to God, this characteristic of demand requires brutal patience, maybe even days of solitude while praying and fasting!  Blameless Prayer 1.1Expecting an answer before the 11th hour was imperative for my peace.  Thank God He loves me just the way I am!

Finally after petitioning the Lord a few hours, I felt my heart encouraged to pray differently while I laid there on my bed in total stillness.  Being a seasoned Christian does not mean I’m perfect and do not struggle with the same issues as everyone does; in fact, the more seasoned we are, the harder we fall because of pride.  I realized I needed to ask the Holy Spirit to show me the solution to calm my bleeding heart and to even convict me where I was wrong so I could learn and achieve the peace I needed in order to move on, grieve and walk through the pain. 

God lovingly calmed me down enough to administer to my disturbed heart.  He shared with me to open up my Bible and read Ephesians 4:26-32 (NIV) and He would reveal my discontent and show me what to do: 

In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,  just as in Christ God forgave you.

Then the conviction hit; my wrestling was about understanding my own anger and the plan to achieve the peace and guidance I petitioned for.  For my own self-worth and peace of mind, God announced that since I was still angry, it wrestled with my heart because it is filled with an overflow of compassion.  Anger and compassion are bipolar rivalries and a brutal tug-of-war. 

God’s scripture announced another form of communication to diffuse the anger and release my pain by offering a way to try and resolve the differences through my compassion.  Before the day ends tonight, way before the 11th hour, He shared the only way to receive the peace is to work on trying to mend this fragile and delicate relationship.  In a nutshell, God was telling me to suck it up, throw off my pride that had had enough; and if reconciliation wasn’t possible through agreement, at least I could grieve and move forward with peace! 

I desire and want to please my God with my actions, but that stems fromBlameless Olive Branch 1.1 my attitude.  The only way I can do that is by acting in love and kindness.  This is the resolution I wanted, to see what God’s will is for me regarding my loved one so I’m not held in my cell of hell! 

Life is hard, people are hard, and situations are challenging; but if we want to walk a life of Christ, it means removing the pride, the hurt feelings, and being uncomfortable while extending that olive branch with mercy and the last bit of love and compassion in our bodies!  We all need to be faithful in extending the olive branch in the Name of Love.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

What These Eyes See Now Matters ~ Tammy Tangent Tuesdays


Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

What These Eyes See Now Matters!

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you are having a blessed week so far!  It’s that time again, it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!!!  This weekly challenge is dedicated to all of the single parents trying to sojourn through what appears to be a swamp land filled with nothing but quicksand that is pulling them under with no way to be rescued, refreshed and restored.  Plus, think about all those precious little eyes that need help in seeing what the kingdom of God is like this side of heaven.  ♥♥

Sadly, I know all too well what it was like to be a single parent raising two children of my own without any help.  I admittedly made numerous mistakes while doing the best I could with delirium, fear and chaos leading the way, but one thing is tragically apparent to me that we cannot deny; with the Blameless Single Parents Isaiah 46.4predominance of society today rearing children in single households, we need to reach out to all of these heavily burdened parents and start helping with co-hosting nights of babysitting services and sharing our struggles.  Being a parent is hard; you don’t have to be a single parent to understand that feat.  We all need time to be renewed.

In sharing in the responsibility to love, care and nurture my granddaughter, one thing I am reminded of is how demanding it is to even go to the grocery store with children in tote, much less living daily life juggling family and career.  It takes you an hour to get your car packed and loaded just to get everyone to their respective places.  It’s rush here, rush there; snap here, snap there, simulating nothing but alligators in the swamp awaiting their devour.  By the time you get to your destination, everyone has been bit and overwhelmed. 

As a grandparent, I experience love through a lens that offers a renewed perspective to cherish this time without juggling.  My son even pointed out his jealousy in how my granddaughter just snuggles in tight while being still.  This Grammy Tammy’s life and world does stop with literally no demands except for what my Princess wants.  This highlights the difference between roles and in wanting to help my son be the best parent possible, it made me think about ways we can help each other bring unity and purpose into our communities in areas that we might not otherwise think about or cater to.

This weekly challenge is to start co-hosting babysitting nights throughout our churches and friendship circles.  Extend an offering to anyone you know Blameless Proverbs 22.6who is a single parent.  Great excuse for building relationships and community!  There are many Beautiful Beloveds that have barren wombs who would love to love on our children and offer refuge and friendship to those that reciprocated.  I know a few personally! 

I may have struggled more than I should have parenting alone because I didn’t have the resources like many, but it was primarily because I DID NOT TRUST anyone due to the pain afflicted from a painful past that pushed away God’s blessings of help from others.  Many tender hearts are living the same way; in fear.  Relationships take time and commitment; and this is helping those who really need it by getting to know one another and establishing trusting relationships through co-hosting. 

We need to intervene and help not only the single parents, but our children in today’s society need to see what the kingdom of God is like this side of heaven through people who are willing to be the hands and feet of God.  Every person matters, and we are helping the next generation through love and service by modeling how God loves His children. This is also a great way to connect single parents together since their time is so limited.

Let’s start co-hosting babysitting services where new life can be renewed and restored for all while teaching those little eyes NOW what true Love is.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!!!

Blameless Isaiah 46.4.1

The Offering ~ Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless The Offering 3.3

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

The Offering! 

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you are having a blessed week so far!  It’s that time again, it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!!!  This weekly challenge is probably going to require a little stepping outside of our comfort zones in being the hands and feet of God, but it will bless others with the provision and hope that a “free ride” offers.

I overheard a couple of people last weekend at church sharing that they would love to come to church more often and get involved in the community if they had a ride.  They shared the depth of their grateful hearts, but they feel a sense of embarrassment due to the constant imposition.  It tears down their worth and value.  It can be degrading emotionally, spiritually and physically when our sense of independence is hampered.

Let’s face it, when it’s above 80 degrees outside, walking a short distance makes a person perspire and uncomfortable with their presence.  Lord knows, us menopausal women know how humiliating and uncomfortable it is to be cold and clammy one minute and hot and sweaty the next.  Forget it!  Talk about being a hot mess that wants to hide, preferably in the freezer!   🙂

This weekly challenge is easy.  Let’s position ourselves to be “the offering” that will bless someone in need, whether it’s giving them a ride to church, to the store, to the doctor’s, or even to a friend’s house.  This extends to our neighbor’s teenager whose mother is working nonstop just to keep a Blameless The Offering 2.2roof over their head.  It’s an extremely easy way to serve others by giving rides to church.  You’re already going. Extending those golden nuggets as an offering could be the conduit that God uses as a stepping stone to bless the life of another this side of heaven.  What a valuable gift!  If you don’t know anyone who needs a ride, contact your church to see if they do; be proactive.  You could even ask to be put down in the weekly bulletin or start a ministry called “The Offering” to help spread the news in your congregation.  There are so many people who don’t go to church because they’re unable to get there for a variety of reasons; whether it’s because of the heat, too cold, disabled, too far, etc.  We all need to be carried at times.

“The Offering” could also extend to reaching out to the lonely and alienated.  When we get to know the people in our congregations and communities, one common thread is apparent; oftentimes peopleBlameless Flowers Bunch don’t go to church because they don’t know anyone and/or they don’t want to go alone.  Some of us may welcome going alone from time to time, but for most people, they want the added security of a physical being that will walk alongside of them until they get comfortable so they won’t stand out feeling so isolated.  One may be the loneliest number that anyone will ever do, so let’s invite and be a part of their lives.  This kind of “Love” requires action, which is being the kind of friend that Jesus is and teaches in the gospels!  Challenge yourself this week by extending the invitation in being the hands and feet of God by presenting yourself as an offering while remembering, without each other, there’s no beauty in the bunch!  We need each other to bloom and grow! ♥♥

Until next time…

Thank You for being Beautiful You!

Prayers Needed For Our Children and Schools Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless Children Path Prayer

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Pray for our Children, Schools and Staff

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you are having another blessed week so far!  It’s that time again, it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!!!  Since Jesus loves the little children of the world, shouldn’t we?  With the new school year starting off so violently, it’s time that WE ALL COME TOGETHER IN AGREEMENT and Blameless Children Path Prayerbegin praying for the hedge of protection to start surrounding our schools, the teachers, the staff, and all the precious children.

There is already too much crime infiltrating and infecting our schools today, and how simple and easy it is to believe that our children and schools are protected from all the ugly in the world.  An easy solution to the problem is to take one or two minutes a day as you’re dropping your kids off at school, or even those precious grandbabies, and pray a quick prayer for the hedge of protection to surround every child, the school grounds, the teachers, staff members and the surrounding areas.  Even when you pass by a school bus, just lifting that precious cargo to the Lord in a quick prayer can keep them protected.  All God wants is for us to reach out and trust Him for the protection of those we are praying for!

If you’re walking your child to school, what an opportunity this is to witness and Blameless Hands of God 4.4teach your child the importance of prayer.  Explain to them that you will be hanging out for a couple of minutes extra to pray silently over the school.  You never know, kids are bright and they want nothing more than to mirror their parents’ actions, so they may want to start praying with you.  Before you know it, their friends will see you all praying and the domino effect exuding our dependence through prayer on God will be illuminated; and many parents and children will be coming together before school to pray, all because you silently prayed and walked out your faith.  Such a huge testimony and witness!  Also, let us not forget what an introduction to the many benefits in following Christ while being a part of a community illustrating L-O-V-E; being the hands and feet of God!

Blameless Proverbs 22.6It’s a different world out there today, so we need to incorporate the armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-18) and instill the Biblical values and protection daily with our kids together.  They need to be prepared and equipped; not sheltered and naive about what is happening in society today!  Kids watch and will follow our lead; it’s up to ALL OF US to be great examples as parents, grandparents, teachers, aunts, and even mentors!  How about just caring as a member of your community; remembering everyone affects others; good or bad.  Those babies have a long road ahead of them!  We need to help teach them and guide them by letting them know they’re not alone in this.

Let us never forget what 1 Timothy 2:1-2 urges us regarding examples in how to worship God through prayer: 

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.  

Jesus intercedes on our behalf; shouldn’t we do the same for others?  This is yet another way to be the hands and feet of God; and we all want and need to protect the purity and innocence of our children!  ♥♥

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You

Blameless Just Because Beautiful You 1.1


Grace ~ Let’s Wear Our Crowns Victoriously! Romans 11:6

Blameless Grace Romans 11.6

Smoothing out the Rough Edges

Grace; wearing our crowns of beauty victoriously! 

Are you like most modern-day women, spending countless hours at the beauty salon perfecting glory, while spending thousands of dollars on the perfect wardrobe, enduring biweekly mani-pedicure visits, exercising and promoting vegan lifestyle while presenting the perfect selfie?  Yet within minutes of going through a slight trial, it exposes the real condition of your beauty, you know, those cast-iron horns you’ve been trying to hide?  Ouch!!!  Where’s my makeup that adorns, or sustains, my beauty?  Grace needed (Romans 11:6).

I don’t know about you, but one thing I have noticed myself during great trials and tribulations is that God uses these opportunities not only for Blameless Isaiah 60.1refinement purposes, but if we believe what He says regarding our beauty, worth and value, He will show us what is meant by true beauty in the purest form!  A Beautiful Beloved’s attitude and inner spirit during these trials projects the beauty within; you know, that inner beauty that shines through all the cracks glued and woven together by the Lord. 

We all wear many hats and have a wardrobe that adorns many jewels with facades to match, but maybe it’s time to allow the conviction of the Holy Spirit to expose the deep recesses of our tattered hearts that need to be mended and dealt with as a part of our daily regimen. 

1 Peter 3:3-4 announces this very fact by reminding us that our true beauty and faith is constantly being captured through the lenses that our family, children and community see; both the good and the ugly:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I know today I put on the most beautiful pink dress, adorned with silver gemstones and beads, along with the sexiest (so I say) pair of ankle strap sandals this Grammy Tammy could comfortably wear, along with sporting the most amazing hair day ever, and you know what, between the relentless battles with the insurance companies and a grand-baby waking up several times throughout the night, along with the forfeiture of my morning Bible study time with the Lord; I might as well have dressed and presented myself in my delusional PJs.  My presence was anything but beautiful and graceful, and my son and granddaughter witnessed this less-than-perfect woman, along with the world, that I would rather they not have seen.  I may have looked beautiful on the outside, but my inner beauty did not correlate with the Beautiful Beloved God says we are or designed us to be.

You know, life is hard at times for all of us; sometimes there are days we wonder who really exists inside of us.  That’s the beauty in being a child of God and being an heiress to the throne of God while claiming the inheritance that the kingdom of God affords.  God knows we struggle, understands the consequences of sin in the world, and also orchestrates oftentimes the trials and tragedies that come along in life just so we can see where we place our worth and value.  When we place our worth and value on the material things, you know, salon visits, fashionable clothes and shoes, and how we dot our i’s and cross our t’s, we forget that our relationship with the Lord is what is important in life and delivers the permanent beauty mark that sets us apart from others. 

We may be able to mask over what is truly going on in our lives, but one thing we cannot neglect is the condition of our hearts that is built upon our relationship with Christ.  There’s no amount of makeup, hairstyling, or exercise regimen that can mask over what is truly going on in the deep recesses of our hearts.  Beauty starts from the inside.  Shouldn’t we start spending more time working on the inside of our hearts and less time on what we believe reflects the true beauty of our souls?  I know I am.  I look less than desirable without my makeup, my facade; but one thing I want others to see in me is my love for Christ, whether exhausted, depleted, angry, frustrated, you name it!  I know God says I’m a Beautiful Beloved and each trial that comes my way just proves how running this race is a lifetime event!

Until next time, let’s dance being the Beautiful Beloveds God designed us to be…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!!!

Blameless Beautiful You 5

When You Need A Friend, Power of Prayer Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless Prayer 1.1

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

When You Need A Friend

Power of Prayer

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you are having a blessed week so far!  It’s that time again, it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!!!  This heartfelt and endearing image Blameless Prayer 1.1that my baby boy (adult son) captured as I escaped to my secret place (my bedroom) to pray and petition the Lord for a girlfriend’s struggle just reminded me of the great cloud of witnesses we all are, whether we realize it or not.  He overheard a conversation I was having with a friend about what a great friend we have with Jesus and how I would be honored to pray on her behalf!  Thank God I did as I said.  My son saw faith and belief in action, and he captured it as a reminder!

Since our last community challenge was one filled with love, action and truth required in being the hands and feet of God that 1 John 4:11 so beautifully reminds us of when saying; “Dear friends, since God so Blameless Matthew 5.16 1loved us, we also ought to love one another,” I wanted to share what has gotten me through these past few weeks while reminding all of us to reach out to others and shoulder their burdens.  With so many of my beautiful girlfriends going through their own great trials and tragedies right along with me, we were able, as a community, to walk through our grief and struggles by selflessly pouring into each other the Love that Jesus teaches us as one of the benefits in being a true friend.  When we need love, we need to love.  When we need prayer, we need to reach out and pray for others.  There’s power in prayer, especially when friends gather together to pray and petition our Great Friend, Jesus Christ, who intercedes on our behalf!  Remember, real love is not a feeling, it is an action, shared and displayed through the actions of sacrificial, selfless giving!

We all need friends, that sense of community, that comes alongside of us and helps us sojourn through life this side of heaven.  John 15:13-17 is a perfect illustration of what the definition of a friend we have in Jesus Christ who loves us just the way we are is like: 

Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command…I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last…This is my command:  Love each other.

Let’s emulate the definition of what Jesus defines as “friends” and love one another while reaching out and praying for each other this week.  Pick one girlfriend and every day this week pray with one another and encourage each other to press on.  There’s power in numbers and power in prayer!  This petitioning will bring victory to our friends and bring us closer to those we are investing in.  It takes five minutes a day!  Connect, celebrate, and contribute!  Jesus intercedes on our behalf; shouldn’t we do the same for others?

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You

Blameless Mirror 2.1