Becoming Love…

Animals Versus Human Beings,

Whose Life Is More Valuable?

An adorable puppy was found left on the side of a Sacramento freeway with his skull bashed in. It was clear he had been abused.

It made news headlines.

Tragically so… 

People were knocking each other out to contribute financially for his needed care!

What kind of monster would smash the head in of a two-month-old puppy with a hammer?

Then again, what sick person would take a military-style weapon into an elementary school and start taking their aggression and deep hurts out by shooting and killing innocent children?

When more value is placed on the Animal Kingdom than Mankind, we need to revisit our priorities!

Combing through all these tangles and snags of deception is brutal. We’ve obviously viewed these tragedies blinded while they laid dormant awaiting a spark to ignite the wick of mania explosion.

We need what only a miraculous Divine intervention can offer now.

Blameless Light Of Your Love

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God (Romans 15:7).

I thought we united as a society where all lives matter! Was that just a trend and it fizzled?

If we appreciate and celebrate each others’ lives, then why are our pocketbooks overflowing when it comes to injured animals, but we become bankrupt and blind when it’s regarding our forsaken homeless?

Thank God He never forsakes us…

If we are accepted and celebrated, why is man’s best friend more valuable than a beloved that God created and designed in His own image?

I love animals and love to rescue. It’s beautiful so many people had compassionate hearts and donated money to give life to this puppy. But why are our pocketbooks or belongings sealed up tight when donations are solicited for homelessness?

Homeless people should be considered more valuable than a puppy. Homeless beloveds have the same needs as puppies; they need love, nurturing, guidance and patience to learn behaviors that will equip them with tools to make better decisions. 

I know what it’s like to be rejected and orphaned by those who were supposed to nurture, love and protect while providing a loving environment to learn and grow from.

When you’ve been abandoned, you often make decisions and choices that are not in the best interest of anyone. Bad choices follow you around like the plague, waiting to kill, steal and destroy.

Every single one of the drops of blood Jesus shed had a name written in it!

Jesus died for us, our sins, and was resurrected to eternal life so He could take hopeless situations and flood them with His Love and hope. Beautiful Jesus takes our many broken pieces and turns them into peace.

These precious and homeless souls need to be shepherded to Him for healing. Jesus Is the reason in every season and has Risen!

As Vironika Tugaleva states, “I can’t change you and you can’t change me, but together we can work to change the world.”

Inspiring just ONE person ALREADY changed the world.

We all need affirmations and validation that will tear down the cement barriers surrounding our tattered and bleeding hearts in need of Jesus’ healing. 

Changed lives change Cities!

Since the depth of our past reveals the height of our future (thank God I’m almost six feet tall), are our heads too far up our pasts to see that we are putting more value on animals than mankind?

God’s love is not based on performance. Jesus became Love. Before Jesus ever performed any miracle, He had the validation of God’s love speaking from Heaven saying, “This is my Son, whom I love…” (Matthew 17:5).

God does not validate like we do. We validate based on what people do for us and how they make us feel. If our actions validate and bring value to what that individual needs, they in turn love. God validates based on relationship and that relationship requires intimacy.

Every single one of those drops of Jesus’ blood shed on the cross was for me and for you. Each drop had our names on them.

We can be 100% certain, even if we don’t have any further direction for our lives, that being and becoming LOVE is always God’s will for us. Giving love away is easy, but it requires action. The only thing it costs is ourselves, our time and action.

That includes when there’s traffic…

When we’re waiting in long lines…

When the doctor is an hour behind…

When our in-loves (in-laws) are moving in…

When we feel we’re accepted and loved, our self-esteem and confidence is boosted and it helps us make better choices and decisions. We start trusting others. And where Love radiates, our Beautiful Jesus heals.

I know this personally, because though my father and mother abandoned me, the Lord received me graciously (Psalm 27:10) with new life.

 

Blameless Jesus on Cross

It’s amazing what His Love does for us. The alchemy of transformation is nothing short of miraculous!

When Good Friday comes upon us and Easter, let’s be awakened to the beauty that every tear and drop of blood Jesus shed suffering His unconscionable crucifixion on the Cross had a name written in it as He Became Love Himself.

I don’t know about you, but my name was in one of those bloody droplets along with many homeless people’s names. Now that’s Love!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next? Part 3

Blameless Live Laugh Love 1.1

When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?

Part 3

Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love.   Ephesians 5:1-2 ~ Live, Laugh, Love

Today was the day I decided to take complete power back and away from my abusers by talking about it.  They no longer rule or have any power through their threats of shame over my heart.  I was hoping that the love found through healthy communication mirroring 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 in being patient and kind, keeping no record of wrongs while not being easily angered, would bring some sort of fresh resolution or even repentance through changed behavior, but…

Someone has to stop generational strongholds of abuse in order to bring justice.  That requires awareness of behaviors and COMMUNICATION as we faith the fear.  Investing precious time into our relationships not only shows love, but it also revives honor. 

This is why I love running to my Bible for guidance because I need calm over chaos.  I refuse to exist in that world anymore.  I want to be more like my loving Savior so I can learn to love better and forgive easier.  Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love.  I choose to live this way the best I can because Love sees through the lens of Truth!  I choose to live, laugh and love much while others live in rage and bitterness.

Being imitators of God that Ephesians 4:29-32 states is hard.  It means to try not letting any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths (especially when we’re upset), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Discounting a person’s voice is not only disrespectful, but where’s the love in that? 

Communication takes at least two voices, right?  Well, unless you’re living in the wounded warrior world, that world-of-one torment that engages in battle with thyself and rips your opponent apart in your mind and exhausts you like any real battle would!  All that does is exposes our hearts by holding us captive inBlameless Bee Kind 1 our cells of hell filled with nothing but rage and bitterness.  No wonder we’re angry people.  It also prohibits us from being present because we’re always present in the wrong neighborhood.

I’ll share an excerpt of what my last wounded warrior world was like next time!  It’s sad, but we also have to laugh at times at how we destroy ourselves and waste valuable energy.  Here the honey bees with the stingers say, “If we’re going to die, we’re taking you down with us.”  Who needs the enemy’s affliction; we destroy ourselves by cultivating the hurt that is brewing inside our hearts.  We need to be kind to ourselves.

My speaking coach/mentor challenged me to narrow my writing and speaking skills towards the passion that ignites me to work tirelessly starting up my nonprofit organization, Blameless and Forever Free Ministries.  My heart’s desire and hope is to help meet the needs of those who are hurting by building a bridge between church and state for the oppressed.

Being a survivor myself saved by nothing short of grace after decades of torment, it took me awhile to understand why I have such a gift of love for all beloveds and why forgiveness comes easily.  When you have been hurt much and forgiven much by Love Himself, it makes it easy to pour love into others and situations that need a covering of peace and inspiration.  Plus, I don’t want anyone to suffer all alone because all lives matter!

I have watched far too many Beloveds try and go at it alone and all they are doing by being shackled to shame and guilt is refusing the power that is available to them:  Freedom!  God Blameless Freedom Found in Exposuredid not design us for isolation to hide when we’re embarrassed and humiliated, He designed us to need others and to be seen.  We need the power of our friends’ strength to encourage us to the finish line.  There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name!

With this recent heartache of rejection and my failed attempts at reconciliation, the stinger was easily removed because I didn’t hide in isolation from this “supposed shame” being rejected and unloved; therefore, its infection was thwarted in spreading.  I knew I was loved by God and I needed the help of others to process sharing my heart or depression would have sunk in.  This vulnerability of exposure removed the stinger before it did more damage.  I bounced back rather quickly because my faith radiated who God says I am, along with walking alongside of girlfriends who helped open my eyes to see through the lens of Truth. 

Friendships pull stingers out and bring healing to the sting before its infection spreads through love and support.

I don’t know about you, but I can spend way too much energy judging myself more critically and harsher than any abuser while believing the lies of the enemy.  If only we could remember to spend our energy being the radiance of His Perfect Love!  God does promise us His blessings, but many of these gifts require our active obedience and participation.

This is where God unveils His destiny in bringing beauty from my ashes through His purpose and plan for my pain.  Now I get to love on others who are considered unlovable.  I get to be a voice for those who lost theirs through abuse and abandonment.  And now I’m honored to walk alongside of the masses who are walking through disease and death because I’ve walked victoriously through it myself.

Tasting and seeing the Lord is an invitation to experience the gift of His grace.  “I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:4-5).  Today I’m living in freedom and flying free of yesterday’s guilt, today’s fears, and tomorrow’s grave.  All because God loves me just the way I am.

There’s something about freedom…  The purity of the innocence in letting go and yet the boldness in knowing your life matters!  We all want to know our lives matter.

Until next time..

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?

When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?

Part 1

I’ve been abused, abandoned and rejected.  Now what?  What does that say about me when others treat me as rubbish and waste?  We only discard filth, so does that mean I’m not worthy to be loved, honored and cherished?  Who discards their child with contempt anyways? 

Disclaimer:  This blog series for the next couple months may trigger some Beloveds that have been a victim of abuse.  Abuse and rejection are hard areas to heal.

Who wants to vocalize and admit they’re a victim of abuse, abandonment and rejection?   Not me, but it’s something we need to talk about and share with one another, so…

We all desire to be loved, accepted and belong.  I am no exception.  Admitting I was thrown out as waste and unwanted droppings automatically labeled me as a reject, unwanted, refused, loser, no value, screwed up, refund demanded!  What does that say Blameless Clearance Rack 3about me as a Beloved, my worth and value, and every decision I would make subsequently thereafter? 

When you’re not wanted and abandoned, that rejection tears right through your heart, mind, body and soul.  Plus, you don’t know how to love or be loved; instead you become one whom must perform to others’ expectations in order to be loved.  WRONG!

I’m glad I’m a Beloved who chases after my Lord, even though He never leaves our side.  Otherwise, I truly don’t know how I would have walked through such a lonely, hopeless and heartbreaking journey, much less become the bold and courageous Beloved I am today.  God turned my ashes into beauty.  I know I’m God’s treasured daughter who was once found at the bottom of the dump, but God meticulously cleaned me up and now I’m crowned skipping merrily in freedom, confidence and wholeness.  What a beautiful assurance of His Great Love.  That’s called a beautiful exchange!

As the torturing fire of acknowledgement burns the pit of my stomach as I write, my mouth regurgitates “I’ve been rejected, AGAIN!”  The reality of such an abominable tragedy to any child is overwhelming, but the power from the eruption of St. Tammy’s Emotions exposes an even deeper level of loss and insecurities.

I am so grateful the Lord didn’t consider me scraps that are thrown out to the pigs.  Instead He chooses to love, cherish and relentlessly pursue me so much that He even extended His loving arms down from heaven to protect me when I drove myself off that cliff 37 years ago and redeemed my life with His Great Love.

God doesn’t kick His children to the curb or throw them away like a piece of deplorable regret.  In fact, He calls His children His masterpieces and works of art!  His Love never ceases and He will never forsake us either.  There’s nothing we can do to lose that Love.

When We’re Considered A Piece of Deplorable Regret!

I am not the only person who’s been rejected and abused, much less abandoned.  My heart genuinely grieves for the Beloveds that have been violently tormented.  My teeth grit just thinking about the unconscionable behavior of others.  It’s hell that no one could even begin to understand unless you’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death yourself. 

Emotional trauma caused by those who profess to love you is the hardest journey to walk through victoriously.  It can cause other mental health issues such as depression, addiction, eating disorders, you name it, just to escape and numb the pain that afflicts the heart and mind.  I know, alcohol makes a great numbing agent, or did!

This is really hard for me to talk about.  Dealing with the tragedies of life and facing it head on is something that is outside of my comfort zone without Mr. Denial, but…

When one is discarded like rubbish, though, this torment leaves a permanent marking from the scorching cauterization of the branding iron.  This imprint of “rejected” forever tarnishes one’s worth and value tragically and effects behaviors regarding life, love and choices and decisions.  Even effects our relationship with God.

God is a God of love and mercy, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103:8) who never leaves our side.  I’ve been healed by the touch of God and now I understand why I passionately want to help the unlovable because all lives matter and deserve to be loved. 

One thing is absolutely certain besides my tangent:  No one is unlovable and removed from the touch of God!

My bestie lovingly reminded me of the worse offenders to help soothe the sting of my abuser’s manic explosion.  She shared, “Some moms sell their children as sex slaves for rent money and to satisfy their own drug fix.”

We are not the labels our offenders branded us with!

The greatest gift God gives us is family and friendships.  If we’ve been orphaned, God brings us friendships to fill those vacancies and walk alongside of us being the hands and feet of God, along with offering their precious hearts and time.  The love, hope and affirmations we receive from our relationships cultivate our beauty to bloom right where we’re planted.  That’s how we thrive and not just survive.  Investing precious time into our relationships not only shows love, but it also revives honor.

Because we are loved immeasurably more than we could ever imagine, the torturous time feeling invisible and insignificant, you know, overlooked because we are tossed out with the rest of the trash, God sees us.  He not only sees us, He is even proud to be seen with us and calls us the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8).  Blameless Crown Tiarra 7To know we are His prized possession and treasured Beloveds should empower us to walk bravely and take risks with confidence knowing He will never leave us. 

When only Love could make a way, being immersed in God’s mercy and love creates a wholeness and contentment of heart.  Knowing we are called His treasured daughters enables us to forgive our offenders.  People are full of pain and pride and sickness.  Shame cripples and shackles.  It’s a powerful membrane.  But we don’t have to stay entangled in the Black Widow’s web of destruction.

Honestly, even though I am at a great place in my life spiritually, professionally and emotionally, admitting that I’m orphaned and not wanted is a hard pill to swallow.  It’s hard to admit that.  It does leave a sense of loss to my heart, but I’ll allow this pain to help others.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless New Beginnings 1.1

 

When Words Pierce Our Armor And Hurt Like Hell

Blameless Prepared For Battle

When Words Pierce Our Armor And Hurt Like Hell

Are You Prepared For Battle?  The Enemy Is! 

Manic Explosion vs. Armor of God, Part One!

If recovering from a fierce infection that attacked the heart’s chamber with erratic arrhythmia wasn’t jolting enough, the deep lacerations from daggers of hate and rage that accompanied a manic explosion would.  Who plans an attack on others while they’re in the hospital?  The enemy does, especially when your relationship with Jesus exposes their lies.

Family and friends are usually a great source for consolation and encouragement during traumatic times, but words from a meticulously planned attack were intended to take me out.  Patients are vulnerable to many infections during hospitalizations.  When random attacks from a family member announced their concern by delivering calibrated electrical shocks more powerful than any defibrillator left me stunned and infected. 

The explosion of this manic shrapnel left me bewildered and injured.  The slamming words of hate and bitterness increased the pressure of infection that laid beneath the sutures holding the weak and tattered heart together.  Hurt people hurt people; we all know that.  But how does a beloved swim against the current in a raging storm when the flaming arrows of the enemy refuse to cease?

Why is it people use the word “love” as a means to exercise control and manipulation?  God calls love an action, not a feeling or means for abuse.  When people are trying to keep the fuel lines of anger going while we work ever so hard to bring peace and forgiveness, they become desperate and exaggerate our imperfections to keep the truth from being exposed.  But when the offensive armor of our sword is sharpened, the injury afflicted willBlameless Forgiveness Even When It Hurts sting, but life-giving courage offers us to see clearly through all the bloodshed, carnage and death.

Her words pierced as she vomited words of rejection.  Her own shame caused from humiliation that the exposure of truths and confrontation delivered left her pride to declare “Done.”  I was shocked that she would choose my second hospitalization to download her shame and guilt.  Maybe it’s because her absence is normally the rule and she needed justification, I don’t know.  This time something was different.  So different that even my own reaction shocked me.

I used to run after unhealthy love and relationships.  I would do anything (understatement, hello!) to receive this conditional love of abuse in order to be affirmed and belong.  Everyone wants to be acknowledged and loved, but that longing becomes intense when we’ve been orphaned.  The cravings can be insatious when we are depleted of the affections that the covering of love is supposed to offer.  Abandonment and rejection can lead us down a path that is dangerously unhealthy.

Even though I may be orphaned, the love of my good, good Father in heaven has adopted me and claimed me as His own.  He has poured so much love over and through my heart, soul, body and mind as He relentlessly pursues me, His love has captured me and brought healing.  My relationship with my daddy enables me to keep my sword sharpened so that when the enemy attacks at the most inopportune time, and we’re talking here about a slivering and sneaky enemy who moves about lurking for someone to ambush (like in the hospital), we can raise our shields of faith to withstand these flaming arrows.

Oh sure, the words stated hurt.  I cried a bit in the hospital in order to release enough of this toxicity from further damaging my heart, but between the love, touch and prayers offered from fabulous friends, I was able to keep self-controlled long enough until I got home.  Then once I got home, I cried me a Noah’s Flood as I tried to process and understand this affliction that erupted from an emotional plague.  Some things are better left unknown.

So what are we supposed to do when others have manic episodes exposing their true bleeding hearts?  Yes, we are to forgive them, no doubt; but how do we get to that point where we’re able to forgive?  That forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we will continue to engage in a relationship with them, but how can we become free from the toxicity that was poured out?

For me, that required surrendered time in prayer while being immersed in God’s Word to understand this pain.  God blessed me with an amazing bestie who knows my heart and celebrates my life through the good, bad and ugly.  This allowed me to be vulnerable Blameless Crown Tiarra 7without fear of judgment in order to process through the pain while receiving comfort and peace. 

I didn’t have to spend weeks or even months reliving this trauma in trying to understand how cold and bitter another beloved’s heart was through hurtful words and why they were spewed out.  Trying to tarnish another beloved’s character only exposes your own depth of rage and bitterness.  That energy and focus stays on who God says I am, His Treasured Daughter.

Every day as I am overcoming, I am becoming more and more like Him.  Pain is inevitable, sadly.  I am learning to be true to myself, react with love and continue sojourning this side of heaven without the lingering effects of pain caused by others.

You see, I am trying to embrace the fact that I am a Beautiful Beloved chosen and pursued by the Lord God Almighty, just like you!  God is the one who holds the key to my heart.  Nobody can strip me of my identity and worth; not family or ex-husbands.  They didn’t give me my identity to begin with so why would anyone feel that they could actually take it away, especially through threat and coercion?  They may try as they are crafty, but the more I know and love my good, good father and the more I realize how much He truly loves me just the way I am, their daggers and threats cannot penetrate my armor.

Because we are loved by our amazing father, nobody can take away our acceptance.  Nobody can take away our love that is freely given.  Nobody can take away our identity.  Why?  Because it was never theirs to give us in the first place.  That love is given by our Lord and no one else.  That’s what He did for you and me.  We are unconditionally loved by Him.  That’s what He does, He gives.  He doesn’t demand we conform to His way or the highway, He loves us just the way we are!

You know, it’s not about what our family did or does, nor what our friends do or did.  We need to remember where to place our focus and receive our affections.  It’s about what God did for us.  If we can just remember that it’s about what God did for us, we won’t concentrate on the afflictions that others cast upon us.  We will live bravely knowing we are the Bride of Christ and have royal blood running through our veins while being unconditionally loved.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Don't Leave Home Without It (3)1

 


 

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