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I’ve Been Caught!

blameless-handcuffed-3

I’ve Been Caught!

Now What?

I’ve been caught!  Now what?  What’s a girl supposed to do?  Should I apologize?  What for, I didn’t ask for this disregard.  Should I just keep quiet to cover over the offense of another?  Now why would I do that, especially given the fact that statistics show the perpetrator will continue?  Should I run away with my tail between my legs or should I stand firm, tall, and roar like an angry lion does announcing his forewarning?

Ha!  I know what I would like to do!  If we’re being honest here, I know most of us would like to see revenge occur when others devalue us, especially when one’s heart has been hurt and violated, right?

That’s when my very own advocate, Jesus Christ, convicts my heart and reminds me that His ways of Love and justice, not to mention vindication (revenge, yes!), will be accomplished completely different than anything I could ever conjure up.

My initial attempts at confronting through Love will be honored, while those who devalued my life and time will be instructed in how to better handle these situations in the future because Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Honestly, after hearing those beautiful words from my best friend, the Holy Spirit, my Comforter, I had about a three-second sense of peace and contentment; but then the decay stemming from the bitter root inside of my heart wanted out and her revenge didn’t want it accomplished through God’s Love or His ways of justice.  I am just being totally honest here because I’m far from a saint.  I have feelings and they run deeper than any roots or any circumference of the cedars of Lebanon.  Sadly, there are times I’m ready and able to devour and feast on my prey that I’ve been lying in wait for.

It’s a beautiful thing my good, good Father knows me and loves me just the way I am, because right after I completed my Tammy Tantrum at her finest, my Lord reminded me of my beliefs; that every affliction that comes my way and brings God glory through reaching and teaching others is well worth any vindication my mind could dare conjure up because I have seen firsthand the destruction that pride and hate promotes.  Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs (Proverbs 10:12). 

My Lord reminded me to focus on matters worthy of my attention; that I have quite a challenge before me that will consume all my energy and to let Him take care of this.  Isn’t that what a loving daddy does; gently reminds us what to release, where to keep our focus, and to trust Him for the outcome while He blesses us with peace that surpasses all knowledge (Philippians 4:7).  How else are we going to make it through another day without it?  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am so grateful I have the freedom to press into His Word through intimacy and memorize scripture that I cling to for dear life because it’s at these moments when I’m ready to attack by fighting back that my heart and soul gently leads me to quiet pastures in order to regroup and calm down.  Sometimes that even requires grabbing me by the bit.  It’s better than ripping someone’s head off through words that could easily spew out of my mouth or of the pouring myself a glass of wine just to temporarily calm down which leads into several along with a headache the next day.

Since I’ve been declared innocent and righteous, it only makes sense then to extend that grace to those that have harmed me through Love.  It does not mean they will not suffer any subsequent repercussions of their actions, it just helps me to release the sting and be healed.  This will require being completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in Love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called (Ephesians 4:2-4). 

You might be saying, “Can you really let God have vengeance?”  Oh, it was hard at first.  That’s when I get to share that after you’ve been caught and touched by my Lord and realize how pursued and chosen you are, abiding in His Love and ways is amazing.  The freedom from the bondage and pain that those handcuffs caused releases a little snicker underneath your breath once your spirit (your BFF, best friend forever) reminds you, In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you (Proverbs 25:22).

Now that’s worth a happy dance!  And my heart gets to leap with joy knowing that through loving crazily while being kind to those I encounter that are hard and messy this side of heaven, pours more than hot coals onto their heads.  My God, my Lord, claims vindication in the only way that could reap lasting results; Love!  I’m really not that kind, it’s just a byproduct of the fruit of the Spirit; Love!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

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Living With Addiction Day 4 ~ Never Give Up On Yourself

Blameless Never Give Up

Living With Addiction

Never Give Up On Yourself

Day 4 of 40

My precious loved ones:  I am hoping you’re reading this because you have mentioned your awareness in rage and haste.  For starters, I love you with all my heart and soul and am so sorry you’re hurting!  ♥♥  Sometimes Perfect Love requires discipline and correction; this is how we learn.  There is no shame or blame here with what has happened, just the awareness of the accountability and reaching out for help!    

And even though you may not believe it, the pain I’m feeling is more than a broken heart, it’s a loss; the greatest loss of loved ones that any family could ever be blessed with.  That leadership gift that graces your lives with struggles is the testimony needed to share and relate with the world.  None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes and we just need to learn how to recover from them and get back up in order to grow.  Change is hard; I know this one all too well.

We all need the extension of the olive branch from time to time.  Grabbing ahold of it, though, presents many challenges filled with unknowns, but there is nothing to fear with Perfect Love.  The door of faith and favor and fulfillment is just waiting for you to grab ahold of and walk through.  My love will never stop; though it be afar right now!  God sees my tears and hears my prayers for the deliverance of anger, addiction and abuse.  This cycle needs to stop!

Living with addiction and its associated strongholds of anger, abuse and depression is a pattern that is being repeated over and over again in our families.  It has even claimed the life of some!  We are all beautiful specimens of our generations past so instead of running and hiding from the pain and patterns out of fear and shame, let’s embrace it and sever these addictive qualities. 

I kind of know what you’re feeling right now; abandoned and rejected, scared and confused.  I get that!  I am sorry you’re hurting.  I have felt that way myself more times than I care to admit.  This is what is tearing me apart the most because you are so loved and there is help waiting.

There is no shame or embarrassment here, just acknowledgement of the need for help and owning up to your own responsibility and asking for forgiveness.  Change is necessary for healthy relationships.  It’s a tough road, but a healthy mindset is powerful and full of peace.  That’s what counselors, support groups, family, and your responsibility in walking through those doors offer.  Going at it alone will only repeat, even intensify, the problem and another generation be cursed.

We have two choices:  Live with it or live without it.  I am no longer living with addiction or its byproduct.  I still struggle with my own strongholds of fear and denial, let alone anger and depression, but that is something the Lord will continue to work with me on this side of heaven.  I am not perfect.  No one is!  That’s the beauty of life blossoming.

I am not an enabler, nor am I co-dependent on the chaos and control spewing from the venom that entangles others into a massive web of destruction.  I decided to sever this dysfunctional lifestyle and embrace the protection offered from the umbrella of God’s grace and mercy to be protected from the storm causing all this pain long ago and follow up on my boundaries laid out.

Fear may have driven my entire life from the deposits of all the strongholds, but I will not engage in that battleground any longer.  I opened the chambers of my heart, but now with becoming healthier and stronger from living away from all the abuse, that world I left behind many years ago is where it resides; in the past!  It is scary, chaotic, and depleting and not a healthy environment.

Becoming healthy is an amazing freedom to live in!  I am seeing how God has transformed my own life because fear is loosening the reins of dictatorship controlling my decisions.  I am no longer surrounded by the fuel lines of anger and aggression and control that used to manipulate me.  I still struggle, but am prevailing.  I can see so clearly now how I do not belong in those strongholds God miraculously delivered me from.  

I may grieve now for a time and it will be hard, but by hanging onto the Lord, the Perfect Love who casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) and whom I know and trust wholeheartedly, this stretching will be brutal because I must be patient and await God’s timing to perform His miraculous healing.  I am walking by faith and not by sight; my faith walk.  It’s the being removed and patient part while grieving that will challenge my faith. 

When we’re awaiting the restoration and healing of our loved ones, we want the healing now!!!  I know I do!  The Lord assured me that your sickness would not end in death (John 11:4), but will glorify Him.  I will hang onto that Promise knowing I will see you again, touch you and celebrate while severing these strongholds afflicting our family.  I am sorry you’re hurting.  With my tears, this I pray with great expectation, in Jesus’ mighty name!

I love you… ♥♥

Living with Addiction ~ Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless Hot Thou Are 1

Living With Addiction

Day 2 of 40

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

The Journey Being Beautiful You

Happy New Year, Beautiful!  2016 offers the blessings of faith, favor and fulfillment for all who dare to receive!  Yes, you’ve got it, it’s that time again; it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays.  I pray you had a beautiful Christmas filled with all the love and peace the birth of Christ radiates and a wonderful New Year! 

In keeping with my promise to fulfill the 40-day challenge in writing about Living With Addiction, I am incorporating my weekly Tammy Tangent Tuesdays’ challenges because one thing I know for certain, us Beautiful Beloveds need to be Be-Loved and Be-Held and Be-Healed daily.  And my living with addiction since birth developed insecurities that a lot of us Beloveds live and battle with daily all due to the frequency of living in the bad neighborhood of Negative Nancy instead of realizing just how beautiful and unique and extremely valuable we each are.  Without each other, there is no beauty in the bunch! 

When I was listening to one of Joel Osteen’s services a few weeks back, he shared what one of his associates had related about prophesying positivity and a great habit to develop whereas not to speak negativity into our lives.  I knew right then Blameless Mirror Image 1.1and there I had to share and add my Tammy Tangent flare to air the joy of this challenge.  If habits take twenty days to develop, then in three weeks we are going to have a boat full of Beautiful Beloveds who are not only professing they’re beautiful, but are walking confidently with their crowns on and an attitude to boot! 

To summarize, you know how us women are famous starting off our days being Negative Nancy’s, you know, those words we speak out loud that influence our day; such as “I look sooo tired, I can’t go to work like this; I am fat and have nothing to wear; I’m ruined, look at that zit on my face; look at my hair, I have to call in sick; Oh Mylanta, where did that wrinkle come from?”  Yes, those infamous words we use to start off our day.  We’ve all said them!

Weekly Challenge:  Our weekly challenge is to start off each day looking into the mirror and verbally proclaim: “(Insert your name here), you were good lookin’ yesterday, but girlfriend, today you are smokin’ hot!  You are one Beautiful Beloved.”  Humor me here.  Then to make yourself laugh out loud and bring good cheer to your day, as you tell yourself you’re even more beautiful today, the Tammy Tangent animated part is don’t forget to lick your finger and flick it while making that sizzlin’ sound.  Say it out loud and say it often; you’ll be surprised at how it changes your attitude and mindset, not to mention the little ears that might hear.  Declare your beauty and be Proud of It!

I hope you have some fun with this challenge.  It’s a great way to start off the New Year prophesying and acknowledging just how beautiful you are.  That’s radiating light and sharing the kingdom of God this side of heaven!

Until next time…

Every negative word that has EVER been spoken over you is released right now and the Blessings of Faith, Favor and Fulfillment is yours for the taking!

Thank You For Being Beautiful You and How Hot Thou Are!

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