A Girl Becomes A Woman…

A Girl Becomes A Woman When She Learns To Love HERSELF More Than She Loves A Man!

Words filled with hate and torturing venom penetrate into the girl’s heart and soul. The beautiful beloved gasps for air as she digests and searches for comfort between her regurgitated fears and her tear-stained cheeks flaming with humiliation.

She ponders her worth and self-esteem after every assault and affair. “I’m not enough! I don’t belong here. I’m a failure. Why won’t he love me?”

I picked up and allowed bad behaviors to infect and direct my life while learning coping mechanisms that provided nothing besides locking myself up in my own self-constructed cell of hell. I employed protection from the hard hats; construction crews of fear. This crew of fear built barriers around my heart that further wrapped me in emotional isolation and insecurities.

My choices reflected my fears, not my hopes!

That was before I knew God…

I never understood self-love and what self-compassion entailed. I lived out learned behaviors that dictated even if both of my legs were broken (or back), I kept going. No healing going on here…

Fake it until you make it, baby!

Blameless Woman Who Walks With The Lord 2

Confidence is Silent. Insecurities are Loud!

The enemy uses whatever weakness and temptation he can to derail us. When insecurities are loud, we become easily depressed and discouraged. Talk about distraction at its finest.

We even desire to live out Nelson Mandela’s wisdom, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

But how do we live that out?

Sadly, a majority of my choices in the past reflected my fears and not my hopes. Had I only known that in order to be a woman, I had to learn to love myself first. And that required knowing who God said I was.

God teaches us magnificently who we are and how to love a man; and others, for that matter.

Blameless Dressed In Confidence

God’s Beautiful Beloveds dress themselves in confidence every day. They refuse to wear another’s insecurities!

I grow weary of wearing other people’s insecurities. Don’t you?

Their insecurities don’t fit. They’re either too restrictive, too heavy, expose way too much or uncomfortable! They itch, they inflame, and they inject pain in each layer. Plus talk about heavy baggage!

Time to dress myself in confidence instead. Confidence fits. It’s lighter. Confidence compliments and enhances our beauty!

What a concept!

Hello…

I love confidence… the way it feels… the comfort… the ease… and how it radiates and enhances who I am! It makes me feel…

B-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l!

“A girl becomes a woman when she learns to love herself more than she loves a man” does not mean that we teach our daughters and granddaughters to be selfish Brides of Frankenstein. 

Or wait…

Isn’t that called a Bridezilla?

Blameless Mirror Fright

I’ll say it, sometimes the reflection scares the ugly right out of me…

God Is Our First Love!

If we learn to put the Lord first, we will be able to love ourselves and others. We will learn how to set boundaries through communication and confidence. We won’t be easily angered. We will be patient and kind. Not rude. We will keep no record of wrongs…

Hello…

Do I hear forgiving?

We will also know to run to our Papa God when our love tanks are low in order to get fueled up.

You know, when PMS strikes or those hot flashes are no match for those crocodile tears and manic ricocheting daggers because of our lack of hormones and escalated emotional needs!!!

Run…

Quick!!!

Embracing Jesus to fill up our love tanks, He reminds us of our worth and value. Then we’re able to love others and not be needy beloveds.

There’s nothing more frightening than a needy beloved!

Before Christ, I ran after unhealthy relationships. I was so busy allowing people to assault and abuse me, being controlled by their dangling of performance-based love and manipulation, I became an angry doormat instead of a confident beloved.

There was never any time or ROOM for healthy relationships. I was too busy covering up and sweeping other people’s junk underneath the rug instead of exposing it and walking away, while hiding underneath my veil of shame.

When you don’t know what real love is like, you become desperate for any sort of attention and affection, negative or otherwise! Love isn’t supposed to hurt! But… loving a girl who hasn’t learned to love herself first is one of the hardest things to do!

Blameless Bride Loves Herself

Human love is considered an intimate affair. Beautifully so. Song of Songs 8:6-7 relates love as strong as death and jealousy (passion) as intense as the grave.

Song of Songs 8:6-7 (NIV)

6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot sweep it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of one’s house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

Being God’s treasured daughter affords self-love and self-compassion. Us girls need to learn to love ourselves first before we can possibly love another man. In order to love ourselves, we need to experience daily the love of our Father and that requires engaging in a relationship with Him. What a beautiful endearment!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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You Don’t Have To Change A Thing, You Are Beautiful Just The Way You Are! The World Needs What Only You Can Offer!

Blameless Different Culture of Women Final

You Don’t Have To Change A Thing,

You Are Beautiful Just The Way You Are!

The World Needs What Only You Can Offer!

Sitting amongst a loud and crowded restaurant, it was hard not to overhear the many conversations blaring from the lively group of young adult beauties.  Between the excitement of the 4th of July festivities to their summertime travels, one thing was apparent:  They spent more time comparing and competing and criticizing than celebrating the beautiful beloveds they all were.

What is it about us beloveds spending time engaged in conversations that are filled with comparisons, criticism and competition instead of celebrating each other and our lives?  Why can’t we just be, imperfections and all, instead of the superficial boasting of lies?

Being honest here, I am older and wiser being Grammy Tammy, but due to my own battle scars and stitches and imperfections, I was feeling a bit envious myself because I no longer possessed that youthful appearance equipped with perfect skin and a sculpted body; but I only wonder how most Beloveds feel once they get home and process all those destructive comments spewed out through jealousy, comparison and competition?

To Everyone Wishing They Were Someone Else,

We Need You To Be Your Beautiful and Unique Self!

We all want to be seen and heard!  I get that.  We all want to believe that we’re loved and valued.  And we are!  But why do we label others that are different than us?  Why do we size each other up before we even get to know what’s below the superficial facade?  There’s beauty underneath all these differences and scars.

I spent years wasting my own youthful beauty instead of enjoying it by creating this ditzy-blonde alter ego because my intelligence intimated most men coupled with the physical beauty I possessed at the time.  The girls hated me and the boys were afraid of me!  Talk about stepping stones leading to strongholds of insecurities and destruction of any self-worth and value. 

But to defame my God-given gift of intelligence just to fit in and be accepted is similar to what many Beloveds are doing nowadays with hiding behind their perceived imperfections in being different because of the color of their skin, the size of their bodies, and the differing cultures and attitudes similar to the competition and demands dictated by society leading to all these cosmetic surgeries.

My body back then had to be rail thin; in fact, at my old height of 5’11”, I weighed in at 135 pounds, wore a size 3, and I was considered three pounds overweight for my modeling.  Talk about creating a body image struggle at its finest hour.  God forbid to be caught dead in a bikini three pounds overweight at a size 3?  We have been taught to be something we’re not instead of embracing who God designed us to be and the beauty that lies and radiates within.  Look at all the joy and fun we are missing because of this mindset.

Who determines what beautiful is anyways?  Is it a Victoria Secret model with stunning long legs and a sculpted face like Gigi Hadid?  How about a humanitarianism beauty likeBlameless Walls Beautiful Definition Angelina Jolie?  Better yet, how about the beautiful Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton herself, the royal princess loved by all? 

My definition of beautiful is that being beautiful has nothing to do with looks.  It’s how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves.  I call and identify all Beloveds I encounter as Beautiful.  Just ask any of my friends, doctors and associates.  Those are spoken words worth repeating because they’re truthful and they build up!

We have to stop the labeling.  We have to stop the comparing.  We have to stop being somebody we were not designed and created to be.  We all have imperfections.  We cannot continue to tear down one another.  We all are uniquely designed with qualities that only WE HAVE!  God designed us to be the only person with our unique qualities.  Now that’s something to embrace and celebrate and be confident about!

How about we start celebrating a new nation this Independence Day determining to believe and behave that all lives matter, realizing our need for each other, to learn values and attributes that the other person can teach, to enjoy the qualities and gifts that others offer, and to celebrate the life and beauty of each Beautiful Beloved.  God designed us all differently for a reason.  Without each other, there is no beauty in the bunch.   

When I was the “perfect 10” by society’s standards, educated model with it all, I hated everything about myself and even tried to destroy it because I didn’t feel I belonged or fit in, and I wanted to be noticed and loved.  And yet with that yearning to be “somebody” at any cost, I was willing to destroy it all in order to be sculpted into something else that society deemed worthy of love.  That is when God proclaimed that He was the sculptor, the Divine artist, and He created a masterpiece who was already beautiful.

Why is it when we have straight hair, we want curly hair?  Better yet, I remember being flat chested and wanting large breasts.  Well, now due to child bearing and age, gravity has blessed me with large breasts and I don’t want them.  You know how hard it is to find blouses that accommodate a larger bust without making you look pregnant?  Hello…

Blameless Without Each Other

Let’s celebrate this Independence Day by embracing our newfound freedom in accepting each other, every color and culture, our bodies, our beauty, our value and uniqueness, and the Beautiful Beloveds God designed us all to be.  No more running and hiding from our beautiful selves.  No more apologizing for who we are.  Let’s embrace the uniqueness that no one else has except for us.  Our lives matter, each one of us.  God designed us all unique with value that no one else has or can offer.  Thank you for contributing your beauty to the bunch.  The world would be dark and gloomy, not to mention flavorless, without your beautiful self.

Enjoy listening to the amazing lyrics and words from other beloveds in this video from Alessia Cara’s song, “Scars To Your Beautiful.”

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

 

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