Tag Archives: #division

Seek To Understand Before Seeking To Be Understood!

Blameless Seek To Understand

Seek To Understand Before Seeking To Be Understood! 

So hard when words from another hurt like hell.

Hi friends and family!  Our hearts and prayers go out to everyone who’s been affected by the tragedies in Gilroy, El Paso and Dayton. It seems that these hurt/sick people hurting others has turned into an evil epidemic seeing who can outkill one another.

When my son and I were talking about how these hate crimes and hurting individuals have changed the landscape of everyone’s lives, personally involved or not, it tapped into my own fears from being victimized reiterating how we’re all effected by these horrific crimes.

Right after talking with my son, I listened to a girlfriend’s deep pain from defeating and defaming words delivered by a coworker, feeling that no one defended her.

This brought up my own pain from the sting of what others have said and done recently that were still fresh.

Speaking honestly here, there’s a part of me who loves and walks out forgiveness emulating Jesus, but I would rather start ripping out these venomous tongues!  Words are destructive and often leave emotional wounds and scars unhealed.

I may be a follower of Jesus Christ, but I battle my own insecurities and fears just like everyone else. And after what we’ve witnessed through these heinous shootings, we need to choke this hate line and exhibit self-control with L-O-V-E, God’s Great Love.

phonto-64

Life forces us to be many people with differing hats and images within seconds of each other.  Friends in need (homeless beloveds), incarcerated beloveds, along with you and I, we all have hurts, insecurities, brokenness and needs. We just react and respond to them differently.

I keep leaning into these beautiful words of Psalm 85:8.

“Now I’ll listen carefully for your voice
and wait to hear whatever you say.
Let me hear your promise of peace—
the message every one of your godly lovers longs to hear.
Don’t let us in our ignorance turn back from following you.”

Working with friends in need and the incarcerated and their families, one common denominator that is lacking is love and forgiveness; God’s Love, unconditional love. It is easy to hate and judge, especially after witnessing these deadly shootings, but feelings pushed down fester and will destroy.

Tragically, we’ve allowed our unhealed pain to turn into hate. Hurt people hurt others. Instead of communities with living, breathing people, we have become part of the problem hiding behind our screens. We are no longer a part of the solution.

Allowing pain to turn into hate, this great divide becomes a part of the problem and forfeits any solution.

Where’s the person to stand up and defend others when hateful words and evil actions are spoken of and acted out?

Where there are persistent hurts, evil will prevail.

I almost let paralyzing fear stop me from helping another in need yesterday. Our Lord loves it when we move out in faith. People need to encounter extensions of love and kindness being poured out.

Action helps change the impact on our futures, though.

How can we allow God to turn our emotional wounds into good like He promises in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it…”?

Our emotional wounds and bruises fall short in receiving help because only time and grace can process the pain.  Our bruises and pain take more than a quick click.

Blameless Being Understood

Emotional Hurts and Wounded Spirits

Looking back on some of my “most painful” life experiences, the sleepless nights, the tear-stained pillows, the anger and bitterness that developed because the people closest to me delivered nothing but betrayal and disappointment, and the torment in being abused and rejected, God’s Great Love came pouring out!

Our Beautiful Jesus always has a plan for redemption, but…

Amid my all-time lowest moments, and I’m talking crushed, shackled and bound, I’ve witnessed the miraculous power of healing, redemption, reconciliation and restoration. God uses both the good and the bad (Romans 8:28).

Without pain, there’s no healing. Without imprisonment, redemption couldn’t be experienced. If there’s no estrangement, then reconciliation isn’t possible. And without destruction, there’s no need for restoration.

Experiencing this blossoming, this growth, that constructs the very core of who we are and created to become is miraculous.

We just can’t allow ourselves to be defined through this prison of pain.

We Are The Product Of Every Decision

Every day of our lives, we get the opportunity to respond to everything that crosses our path. By remembering that Someone (God) believes we are good enough in their eyes and that we don’t have to measure up to anyone to be loved should usher us into confidence. There’s nothing we can do to be loved more or loved less. It’s a gift to just receive.

Being utilized as a bridge that meets others in their struggles and a source of support and encouragement for building community is a part of the solution. Everything we do today matters. Our impact matters. It effects today and our future.

Seeking to understand others before seeking to be understood will help terminate hate. Let’s be proactive parts to the solution. Forgiveness is a great decision that leads to love!

Blameless Bridge Between Past and Future

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

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Soaring Above The Division!

Blameless Soaring

When We Understand Both Sides, How Do We Find Resolution?

My brief trip to Tahoe was amazing. Talk about prayers that moved mountains. It was infected, though, with “Christian issues” that I could not get out of my head or heart through prayer requests

I would love your input and understanding. I hate the evil in the world!

Children are so amazingly trusting and one of the main reasons why our Lord wants us to have a childlike heart engaging in our relationship with Him (Matthew 18). Children love and trust easily because they are not tarnished with adult feelings of shame, guilt or the insecurities that develop because of fear.

God holds us parents accountable for how we affect our child’s ability to trust, whether it’s hindering or influencing. There is no judgment or stone being cast here. I was a single mom working two jobs while raising my kids and let me say, I made my fair share of mistakes.

I did the best that I could do with the tools that I was equipped with! Admittedly, I transplanted my own fears and shame onto my kids.

Sunday at church, there was this beautiful family with lovely children sitting where every person coming into the congregation would pretty much have to walk past. They were sitting basically where they were showcased, right smack in the middle of the church, with no chairs in front of them and a ten-foot open space designed to guide you to your seats.

These children were “perfectly” groomed and “perfectly” acting. Every parent’s dream, right? They were greatly admired and easily acknowledged.

Being Grammy Tammy, I understand now why older folk love to acknowledge precious children. Children bring life through their gifts of innocence, wonder and infectious smiles.

I went up and introduced myself as we commonly do each week; getting to know our body of Christ. As I approached, the children’s eyes lit up. The mother, sadly, became agitated and quite angry with me when I tried to engage in a conversation. She was adamant that her children are NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK TO OR ANSWER STRANGERS!

Talk about shutting me down. I felt assaulted. I’m not used to that kind of reciprocation. My presence was not WELCOMED! Mama hissed and her claws of warning hurt like hell.

I do respect that. I get it our world is unsafe, is getting crazier, and we need protection. I also admit that I am not comfortable with my own grandchildren going into the children’s church unless I know the person teaching. That means I am still transposing my own fears and control.

Churches have always been targets for evil and not a place to let our guards down. There’s just more awareness of it today; thank God! The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

Where do we meet in the middle to teach our children that fear has no rule in our lives? The way the mother approached this (yes, I am judging here), she is setting her kids up for failure by sequestering them because of her legitimate fears.

They were sitting in a spot that had eight to ten feet of open space around them to be displayed! Look, but don’t stop and say hi and share the joy?

If she’s really worried about strangers, shouldn’t they be sitting with chairs in front of them as a protective barrier? Just sayin’…

When I was in youth ministry, many of the high schoolers were home schooled. What a gift to give your children, but…

Keeping your children sequestered from the real world until they are 18 and then sent off to college just seems to be another invitation to disaster. How will they fight off the lures and temptations of the world if they’ve never been exposed to it beforehand?

Being a parent is hard, but I believe children need to be exposed to reality gently so they can watch how their parents react to situations and people, how the culture operates, and the peer pressures that are placed in society.

This mom was clearly adamant about her children being “protected” and that is her duty however she chooses to do so, but that anger slayed me right in half. I was overwhelmed with shame. I felt almost like loving on others and engagement were a crime.

Blameless Proverbs 22.6

So how do we steer children to Christ through our words, our examples and our acts of kindness when we refuse to allow them engagement with the world where we’re present?

As I turned for my chair in a pathetic sulk, I blessed those babies with the biggest smile I could blast and left the mother with a hand gesture:

Blameless Love Sign

Don’t I wish!

As I sat down and composed my pout, a young couple sitting in front of me looked, smiled and said hi. They had their three-year-old princess daughter named Alexandria with them. When the worship music began playing, this precious little girl captivated me. She extended both of her arms in the air so angelically as she swayed to the music. She was mirroring her parents’ actions perfectly.

As I praised God for this precious little girl worshiping the Lord freely and uninhibitedly until she left for children’s church, my heart tugged believing we should be instructing and teaching our children to engage in society without fear while protecting them with caution.

The Body of Christ is meant to gather for community, fellowship, to teach and encourage others to emulate the life of Christ that we all make a part of.

How are we emulating our Lord by teaching our children that everyone else is to be feared? Isn’t that developing division instead of building community and unity?

I get both sides, I really do. I am just trying to rise above the division while loving like Jesus in a world that is full of fear and evil.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next? Part 2

Blameless New Beginnings 1.1

When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next? 

Part 2

Violence, pain and suffering is predominant in the world today.  Why do children hate their parents?  Why do parents slaughter, use as weapons of mass destruction, or even sell and reject their own children?  How do wars between brother against brother and sister against sister ignite?  Where’s the love?

Hurt People Hurt Others

Jesus came to redeem our hurts, our lives, our families, by and through His blood which cost God so much.  I don’t know about you, but I’m in need of His daily transfusion of blood to cleanse my own soul and wash away my sins.

Needed:  Daily Blood Transfusions

Sadly, the world is full of sick, evil and hurt people whose hurts have never been worked through along with mental illness that has been swept underneath the rug for generations.  Instead of being diagnosed and treated, it has advanced into a full-fledged epidemic. 

It’s tragic because there is no shame in having mental illness.  Anxiety, depression, addiction and eating disorders and rage are prevalent because they have been shamed for far too long.  This world may demand perfection, but as I say in my advocacy:

There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name!

Being vulnerable where deep hurts are involved is more than uncomfortable, but I know there are many Beloveds who need to hear how God’s amazing grace sustained me so they can lean in and press through themselves.  It is hard when the world beats down on you Blameless Crown Tiarra 7making you feel insignificant and irrelevant, and you don’t know where to turn or even if you’re important enough to be seen or matter.  We all want to know we’re enough.

We can’t claim victory when we’re weaponless, have dull blades on our swords, so exhausted we can’t even see or think straight, not to mention when we’re starving and freezing cold.  This is where we get the option to either believe the lies of the enemy or allow God to pour out His Love into our depleted souls by tenderly affirming us.  The way He reaches down and coddles and comforts us next to His beating heart reassures us of our meaningful existence and His Great Love that is found in the beautiful pages of scripture.  I can’t advocate enough for the strength and peace received through peeling the pages of the Bible wide open.  Life literally pours out and ushers you into a relationship that offers freedom and acceptance!

When we’re wounded, even the slightest hiss will send us hiding!

God wants to wrap His everlasting arms around us tight until we slowly release our grip as we become aware and realize how loved and valued we are.  We are so cherished, God pursues our lives.  Us girls love to be pursued, don’t we?  I know I do!  He even serenades over us as He rejoices over our existence (Zephaniah 3:17).  I don’t know about you, but I have never been serenaded so the realization of this warms my tender heart and soul.

God designed us to need and be receptive to this kind of Great Love so we can realize where our worth and value derive from.  His Love is that good, fulfilling and rewarding.  And it never ceases.  There’s nothing we can do to lose His Love either.  For us Beloveds who have been rejected and abandoned, that is nourishment to feast on for our famished souls. 

Seeing ourselves from God’s perspective opens the pathway of our hearts and knocks down the barriers of pride that hinders our confidence.  This way we don’t have to stay hidden, humiliated and ashamed because we were rejected, in our protective shells.  We can stand tall, with feet fitted firmly in the ground, knowing our worth and value.

This is why I constantly share why I go to the Bible first when in distress.  The Word is alive and active.  When I’ve been attacked, forsaken and rejected, thrown out as discarded leftovers, my heart is shattered.  I need guidance, grace, and reassuring tender mercies of love and worth thatBlameless Hebrews 4.12 (2) will help remind me and give clarity to who God says I am.  That is why the Bible is so powerful.

We can’t lose sight of the fact that hurt people hurt others.  Victims of heinous behaviors would be repeating the same thing to others if we didn’t have this loving and powerful Word of God to equip us with the ability to withstand the flaming arrows of the enemy along with the ability to forgive.  This allows us to reach out with compassion to others.  We need to share our testimonies of strength and deliverance.  Hebrews 4:12-13 clears up any miscommunication about the benefits of the Bible:  “For the Word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”

Beautiful Beloved, being victims of another person’s pain confuses what true, healthy love and behaviors are.  Our worth and value comes from the Lord God Almighty, not anyone else!  This will help us understand why many of us feel unloved and unwanted.  We will do just about everything and anything to fulfill that void.  When others fail to meet our expectations and afflict pain onto our already tattered and fragile lives, we often look outside of ourselves for this very reason. 

God created us with unique qualities that NO ONE BESIDES US has, and without that quality, there would be no beauty in the bunch!  Please do not allow anyone to rob you of your gifts, beauty and talents.  The world needs you!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!