Tag Archives: #domesticviolence

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries and Chaplain Tammy believe by the time a crime is committed and a victim is harmed, the root causes of the crime may have occurred long ago. D.A. Kevin Barton

By The Time A Crime Is Committed And A Victim Is Harmed, The Root Causes Of The Crime May Have Occurred Long Ago! -D.A. Kevin Barton

By The Time A Crime Is Committed And A Victim Is Harmed, The Root Causes Of The Crime May Have Occurred Long Ago!

-D.A. Kevin Barton

We can’t solve the problem of violence against girls and women without also addressing violence against boys and men.

And our prisons are filled with wounded souls that need healing. This requires connection, community, compassion and safe places for healing to begin.

Ready or not, 95% of our incarcerated residents will be released as our neighbor!

Sexual Assault Against Boys Is A Crisis


It’s far more common than we think. Below are a couple of great articles shedding light as to why we don’t talk about it. It’s far more pervasive than we think.

Discussions regarding sexual violence against boys and men need not be uncomfortable and awkward, but it will require honest, open and transparent communications that require listening and engagement.

I share, taking 15 minutes of time invested in this reading will save souls, maybe even the lives of our own future children, their children and/or our grandchildren.

Sexual violence against boys is far more common than we think. And since Sundays seem to be the perfect day Blameless lays out and exposes hard issues, we’ll continue because our sons, grandsons and future generations, heck ALL BOYS and MEN for that matter, are invaluable members of the Body of Christ and when they’re being attacked, we need to have the courage to stand in the gap with them.

Jesus wants our eyes open through the lens of love and Sabbath days are perfect days to chew on tough matters. If we want to raise boys differently, we must start believing that they are equally capable of feeling pain AND doing violence.

Just reading these couple articles will help empower awareness and shed light to toxic stress, trauma, the reality of our dark culture, and open up a dialogue exposing behaviors of generational household dysfunction that would even think that hazing and bullying are acceptable behaviors, much less without also addressing violence against men and boys.

This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is now adding the incarcerated families to our curriculum to work through some household dysfunctional issues with the residents at Folsom State Prison because there’s an intergenerational link tied to the revolving door of our lives that needs addressing and exposure to sever the strongholds.

After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name! And in order to receive healing, we must name it and that requires intention.

The article below is from the Washington Post and it sheds so much light as to why we don’t want to talk about matters concerning boys and men in being sexually violated and how and why we need to engage in these tough questions and conversations.

👉 https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2021/02/22/why-we-dont-talk-about-sexual-violence-against-boys-why-we-should/?arc404=true

I only hope and pray you’ll take the time to look through the lens of trauma and compassion when looking at others that are different from us.

Until next time…

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries and Chaplain Tammy believe that love softens traumatic memories. Memories of being loved that we can access or create help us tolerate suffering. It all comes down to love.

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries realizes hurting children grow into hurting adults. Our prisons are filled with beloveds who have suffered their own childhood trauma and need hope and healing for restorative purposes. Today's offender will be tomorrow's neighbor so if we want safer communities, we need to bring the focus in our prisons to rehabilitation and restoration leading to reintegration.

Hurting Children Grow Into Hurting Adults!

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries believes that hurting children become hurting adults causing trauma and I healed pain that affects others.

Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!

I repeatedly watched my father’s beat-into-submission cornering of my mother through rage and control while clutching a beer in his left hand. His dangling right hand empowered with flexibility slapped away our quivering lips and stilled our own screams into silence and defeat.

Sometimes pain crushes you. It leaves you incapable of love and void of everything. The brokenness craters a deep wound. Tears no longer roll down your cheeks and screams won’t escape past your lips. Instead, the force brews inside until its burn shatters your broken soul.

I never felt safe or protected after being exposed to these gut-punching realities. I continued to bury the tears and fears that formed a glacier surrounding my heart in ice.

From the weight and movement of my own childhood trauma, this powerful force began to flow outward and downward under its own pressure taking down anyone and everything that was in its path of erosion.

The tears may have initially escaped my eyes, but the shame of the hurt ran away down my cheeks and lingered deeply. Turning my pain inward only regressed my fears and caused a battle within of chaos and unbearable burning.

Feelings that once masked any trace of childhood trauma were now visible. One day after my father died, I noticed how my own reactive behaviors modeled his. My dad may have died, but his life of pain and rage was very much still alive; within me.

Teaching others the value of walking together so that the world can believe in the power of God’s Great Love (John 17:23).

Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, with lifelong health and opportunity.

Working together, we can help create neighborhoods, communities, and a world in which every person can survive and thrive.

Creating opportunities for healing inside our state prisons requires connection and communication, not isolation. Sometimes all it takes is a person filled with God’s Great Love, hope and compassion who has been healed themselves to help uncover unhealthy behaviors that are destroying everyone in its path. This builds bridges of healing.

If we’re not open to discussions leading to what triggers violent behavior, how are we going to experience the peace and transformation that restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care delivers?

Today’s offender will be tomorrow’s neighbor!

Until next time…