Tag Archives: #faithhopelove

Be The Change You Wish…

 Be The Change You Wish…

…To See In The World!

I sigh heavily being disarmed in the face of accountability. Crocodile tears stream down my cheeks. It’s hard to prioritize during change. My frustrations are better kept under lock and key, similar to my writings called Leftovers of Love and Insecure-Gram. These are posts written in their most vulnerable and rawest state, but have been concealed due to judgment. One hundred and ninety-five of them to be exact, awaiting the final editing when courage arises.

When I get a thought that lingers in my mind and starts to torment, making me uncomfortable, the old me would go smoke a cigarette and have a cocktail to diffuse whatever was taunting me. Now I just open my Bible or laptop and start typing.

What pours out of my heart unhindered is liberating. Most of the time, it’s full of rawness and pain. This complete exposure is hard to share because it ushers in judgment and ridicule from others instead of support while being transparent.

Why do we do that?

I’m still shackled with remnants of the funky flu, along with a compromised immune system. Oh, I may smile energetically while praising my Lord because that is where my heart and life resides, but it does not mean behind that joyful exterior is no suffering.

The pain I encounter every step of the way resembles more of an electrifying jolt striking every joint, nerve and blood vessel in my body.

The words that flow from my mouth are no longer eloquent. They are often jumbled and make absolutely no sense. I may laugh nervously because I’m scared about losing my capability to engage and function with vitality like I am accustomed to.

Frustration makes me want to run, hide and cry! I attempt to shrug it off like it’s nothing, honestly. Mainly exhaustion. Here my body is shutting down and I do not know how to slow down and practice self-compassion. Frowning and drowning in my tears is not a solution here when others are suffering.

I’m just trying to be the change I wish to see in the world.

This can be a heavy burden at times, especially when you don’t feel good.

Please pray for me…

Where is all of this coming from?

I have this passionate pursuit to make a difference in our world called leaving a legacy of love.

With epidemics of war, homelessness and disease, how does one start utilizing their depleted time in being a part of the solution, especially when we’re not healthy?

Do I spend time watching TV, checking social media or serving real life human needs?

Hello…

I strive and thrive to be the hands and feet of God which makes me alive. That’s why I’m developing a nonprofit organization; to embrace God’s grace! Oftentimes this passion comes at a great cost and pain that I don’t share with the world.

Just because I don’t wail out relentless complaints does not mean I’m not hurting. It just means I’m applying that energy to making a difference and not focusing on my indiscretions and discouragements.

Blameless Homeless 2

My heart has been heavy since my beautiful girlfriend knocked on my door unexpectedly with concerns. Her beautiful care package was filled with goodies and her precious time was invaluable in sharing her heart regarding my overwhelmed schedule.

Respecting and valuing my beliefs that life is about bringing love to others, whether it’s through time, service and/or relationships, this kindness and generosity extended spills over into all of our relationships when they’re chaperoned by our words and actions.

What a beautiful legacy than to have a life characterized by love and kindness!

Her words stung when confronting me about prioritizing and obedience. Not wanting to admit I’m suffering and slowing down is only exacerbating matters. All because of pride, perfectionism and deep love.

She shared, “I have been watching you. I do not understand why a woman who is ailing continues to present herself to a world in such a relentless manner while suffering more than those she is trying to love on and care for.”

Why would anyone give up the comforts of an accomplished life in order to live, love and serve those who have been rejected?

Please forgive me for my shallowness and deceit in leading you to believe that I live a pain-free life. I never meant to present myself with imagery that was anything but brutally honest. It’s just called walking through each day with F-A-I-T-H, knowing God has my back and that this shall soon pass!

I get this emotional and spiritual charge out of helping and loving others, especially the homeless and rejected. Talk about rejuvenation through release.

May I share something?

This is just a glimpse of what we encounter. This is our reality…

Blameless Gigi 2.24.18

Let me introduce you to Gigi. Gigi is that beautiful heap of skin and bones consisting of 83 pounds laying underneath those two blankets in 27-degree weather. She’s literally laying on the freezing cold cement sidewalk in the worst possible area of Sacramento.

Once our worship music started, she came to life. Heaven opens those pearly gates once Stacia starts singing and we loudly proclaim God’s Love through time, engagement, comfort, food and prayers.

One life at a time…

Since Jesus refuses to relent, shouldn’t we?

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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Mary, Did You Know…

… That Your Baby Boy Would …


“When the divine life possesses the soul, it flows over in gracious ministries among our fellowmen. The affluence becomes an influence importing itself to others.” ~ John Henry Jowett

My mind has been fixated on two particular songs this Christmas season that announce a tug of war going on between pain and gain; Mary Did You Know and Labor of Love. One speaks of being highly favored in carrying the King of all kings and all its glory, while the other speaks to the pain and suffering surrounding the inhumane conditions and environment during the birth of Jesus.

Mary is known for being the mother of Jesus Christ and for sojourning through life with influence being “highly favored.” This pronouncement of grace delivered by the angel named Gabriel confuses her deserved respect to mere idolatry today (Luke 1:28).

I don’t know about you, but the planting of that miraculous seed developing right before my very eyes, both figuratively and literally, would open the doorway of vulnerability for enemy attacks, assaults and accusations. I would have absolutely no time to prepare or be on guard for the automatic deployment of the flaming arrows that would confuse this “gift” being highly favored.

When God speaks, we oftentimes forget there’s more to the story than meets the eye. 

Do I hear an Amen before the ahem?

Worshiping a sinful woman who suffered immensely beyond all comprehension destroys her deep faith and amazing testimony. She should definitely be respected and praised, but not idolized and sought after for prayer, deliverance, you name it. Her life is an example to follow!

Mary was a woman of faith and discipline. When Jesus referred to Mary as “Woman” in John 2:4 during the wedding, that should have initiated an automatic reactionary backhand.

Though we don’t know all the details, Mary’s faith was built on trust and delivered through tragedy and heartache.

Blameless Star of David

How is God’s gracious presence being displayed through our lives?

As I focus on the words of both songs and understand what all it cost Mary being Jesus’ mother, it reminds me of my own grief and losses as a parent. My faith recalls my own refinement process and the molding and shaping that occurred during my school of pain. My children will receive their gifting, but some qualities are delayed, others cost dearly, and many can only be learned through pain and suffering.

Absent of Mary’s labeling, she didn’t know her baby boy would calm violent storms with His precious hands. That He would give sight to the blind. That He would walk where angels trod. And each time she leaned in to kiss her baby boy, she had no idea she was kissing the face of God.

She never knew that her son would be Lord of all creation and would one day rule all the nations. How could she? Nor that her baby boy would be crucified and tortured right before her very eyes just to save our sons and daughters.

Moms, that’s excruciating pain…

The thought that this precious baby cooing and looking back at you as he nurses off of your breasts has come to make you new, and this child that you delivered will soon deliver you because He is the Great I Am is unimaginable!

Forget the glamorous depiction of a cleaned-up baby Jesus with white skin and blue eyes. That’s an illusion. Jesus was most probably dark skinned. He was born in filth, disease and decay. Mary may have delivered and brought down heaven, but it was not in conditions that were indicative of any kingdom affluence and/or privilege.

“It was not a silent night. There was blood on the ground. You could hear a woman cry in the alley late at night. And the stable was not clean, and the cobblestones were cold, little Mary full of grace with the tears upon her face with no mother’s hand to hold…”

It was nothing short of a Labor of Love.

Raising An Extra-Grace Required Child!

Mary knew Jesus was unlike any other, yet she went through questionable behaviors and unknowns just like we do regarding what her child would become. Being the mother of Jesus required more than mastering the skills needed to raise an extra-grace required child.

Ponder that…

She pondered and treasured the words in her heart that the angel Gabriel delivered, the words of Elizabeth, the shepherds’ pronouncements, and the prophetic words of the Old Testament. She kept tapping into these treasures deep in her heart along with her faith and trust in God. 

These treasures Mary held near to her heart are what kept her brave and strong. This radiance is what both held and lit the way during darkness. We may not understand everything, but we can love and support while believing in others because Jesus radiates within our souls.

When the divine life possesses the soul, it flows over in gracious ministries among our fellowmen. The affluence becomes an influence importing itself to others. ~ John Henry Jowett

If we are beloveds who delight in the gift of Jesus’ presence, we become imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1-2).

Jesus is the Labor of Love!

Until next time…

Blameless Gratitude Wall Beautiful You