Tag Archives: #FaiththeFear

Giving God The Right To Direct Our Lives!

I will trust Him along the way.  I may stomp and pout, but I’ll give Him elbow room so He can pull it off perfectly!

Gotta let go to know…

Hi friends and family!  When you’re in a dilemma or wanting to do something B-I-G (understatement) and everyone seems to be a naysayer, who or what is your go-to? 

Where do you usually turn?

I used to go directly to my friends FIRST because I value their opinion.  But there’s good reason the Lord cautions us to go to Him first and discuss the matter.  With our friends being so much like us, they’ll usually only tell us what we want to hear anyways, or…

I mean, to tell you to invest thousands of dollars more when they think you’re crazy to begin with is a risky event.

sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it

So…  I decided to just put on my big girl panties and walk by faith.

After all, God brought me to such a time as this…

God cares and when we act at the right time, God will use our courage for the purpose He places us in.

I feel our brave men and women who put their lives on the line each and every day should be treated with respect and honor.

When was the last time you told a law enforcement officer how much you appreciated them?

I’m waffling between radical faith and doubt here.  I’m stressing, putting in an extra 20, 30 hours a week of additional work that is not needed, taking away elbow room God might require to bless me with His undeniable supernatural favor.

Having a Plan B, doing EVERYTHING humanly possible, doesn’t require faith or trust.  It’s called CONTROLLING and MANIPULATING the situation!

Why do we doubt and sabotage and cause ourselves anxieties?  That’s the definition of a double-minded, unstable Beloved.  And I don’t want my faith to be tossed to and fro.

Blameless Grab Me By The Bit...

Holy Spirit keeps nudging me about not having to grab me by the bit to redirect my stubborn fits!

We know we’ve got an awesome God when Holy Spirit convicts and speaks to us like He does.  Hee-haw!  Then again, He does know our hearts and minds. He is our Comforter, our Counselor, our BFF!

When we faith the fear, and I’m talking thousands of dollars it will cost if I fail, not to mention the cost of humiliation, solely to give back to those who do so much for us, it’s scary not knowing if you’re going to get enough donations to make it happen. 

With over 500 tickets requested from just a few law enforcement agencies, and requests are still pouring in, my heart grieves to not be able to fulfill their wishes.  Blessing them with free tickets to their event honoring them is a priviledge!

And here I was led to believe that I was too much to handle?


God just reiterates, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life.  I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide.  So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before.  Don’t make me tug you and pull you along.  Just come with me” (Psalm 32:8-9 TPT).

I love when I stay present.  When I focus on God and not my anxieties, I’m able to see the treasures God places along my path that bring me comfort and confirmation. That’s Papa God’s way of saying, “I see you and love you, Beloved.” 

This plane says “RESCUE” with a missile hole-turned-heart alongside of the aircraft!

That plane needed some pink hearts to speak life into all those bullet holes.

Enough said…

Blameless Rescue...

I laugh as I’m listening to a Joyce Meyer’s sermon as I’m typing this, stressed.  Joyce was saying something like, “If you’re passionate about something and doubt is driving you nuts wanting confirmation (hello), follow your passion, shut up and move forward.” 

I love that woman!

That my life will never be the same; to go up and never stop.

Blameless Go Up and Never Stop

I’ve decided to faith the fear and Go up and never stop!  So 500 tickets it is!

Where God guides, He always provides!

If you would like to partner with me in prayer for abundant favor and provision, maybe even donate, our expectations will deliver, Where God guides, He always provides!

So my nonprofit is not going for 100 tickets dedicated to law enforcement officers and the fallen families, we’re going for 500.

Go up and never stop…

Up, up and away…

After all, God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…

So I’m giving God the right to direct my life and we’ll watch together!

Blameless Go Up and Never Stop!

Yes, it means that much to me…

Until next time…



Faith vs. Fear? Faith The Fear!


Faith vs. Fear?

Faith the Fear!

“The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me.  Everyone abandoned me.  May it not be counted against them.  But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength…”  2 Timothy 4:16-17 NLT


Inmates!  When you think of this infamous title, what comes to mind?  Losers?  Prisoners?  Convicts?  Rejects deserving punishment? 

Better yet, what comes to mind when you hear of excessive force being used by correctional officers along with inmates’ Constitutional rights being violated? 

Who cares?  Hmmmm…

Anyone that knows me or has been following my blog for even a little while knows about my 110% complete devotion and support for ALL of our men and women in blue who have taken an oath and who selflessly sacrifice their lives to help protect and serve their communities. 

Okay, most of them anyways…  There’s always going to be a rotten apple in the barrel that infects and spoils the good ones.  Enough said!  I was married to a dirty cop so I know how that story goes…

That one bad apple didn’t stop me from going through the law enforcement chaplaincy academy after the fact and even serving as a chaplain for the past seven years, nor did being a victim of heinous crimes myself hinder my advocacy work and passion for the rejected and unloved. 

But when a beloved son finds himself in mayhem, I became sandwiched between our justice system and this corrupted force by witnessing firsthand violation after violation causing pain and turmoil to this mama’s child and others by the COs (correctional officers) not following the laws and the rules demanded by our U.S. Constitution.

Where’s the love in this world anymore?  We have become bullies hiding behind the power given to us through lack of governance, social media and our computer screens.  We have become fixated and thrive on corruption and crime and “colluding” and even become energized by real-life drama.  Talk about egotistical people without a moral compass.

When our three-year-olds are more familiar with the word “collude” instead of “loved,” we need to take a step back and examine how we are allowing the actions of others to influence our lives.  This includes how we utilize social media to peek, watch, stalk, gossip and even “date others” which is nothing more hazardous than to one’s “selfie.”

What happened to the meeting of minds face to face and loving our neighbors as ourselves?  Would you protect yourself by letting another brother be blamed for the fall?  If a child was getting hurt, would you intervene to protect them or would you click Facebook first and turn your video on and record instead of protecting them?

Every person is a child to some mother or father, so…  

What if this person was sitting in county jail awaiting trial; considered innocent until proven guilty, right?  Here he’s hurt, harassed, hazed, and even refused his Constitutional rights.  He’s put into a cell with another human’s feces on the walls.

Would you just ignore the inhumane discrimination because inmates are considered “losers” in jail or would you stand up for their rights and scream awareness against those who are abusing and usurping their authoritative powers?

This is frightening to come up against, but my God commands we work for justice.  Just because someone is in jail does not mean they’re dehumanized or any less of a Beloved.  God loves us all just the way we are, mistakes and all. 

These inmates have to do the time for their crimes, but between overcrowding, inhumane conditions, and being subjected to excessive force violates their Constitutional rights and it must be stopped.

What happens when you find yourself in the middle of Corruption versus Dedication?  Justice versus Usurping Authority?  Commitment versus Constitution?  Innocence versus Injustice?  Faith versus Fear?

I want to preface that I still stand behind law enforcement knowing full well there’s plenty of rotten apples, but when you find yourself having to go against some of those you once believed in and supported, the betrayal leaves you mad as hell with a passionate pursuit to end all this physical, emotional and spiritual harm. 

I had no idea advocacy meant I would find myself right smack in the middle of an exposed corruption ring within our correctional facilities through excessive force and inhumane conditions while a beloved child was at the core of just a minuscule part of it.

Between healing from surgery and going through further treatment alongside of this corruption case, writing is going to be sporadic and take a backseat as I fulfill my duties being a mom and an inmate advocate and making sure justice prevails.  There’s a mama’s heart that would love to react with my cast-iron horns fully emerged while spewing out flaming arrows, but…

I don’t know what emulating my Lord looks like exactly because each day there’s a new violation and I haven’t always reacted in a positive, loving manner with the COs with all of these emotions.  When your child is under the umbrella of abuse and injustice and his Constitutional rights have been violated again and again, you better believe I’m going to Faith the Fear boldly and courageously!  And I do not care WHO YOU ARE!

I am choosing to love my son mirroring the words penned from Paul in 2 Timothy 4:16-17.  I want him to feel the love of the Lord alongside of him through support, encouragement, visitation, phone calls, unconditional love and especially being an advocate demanding his due rights so he knows he’s not alone. 

Someone has to stand up for these inmates.  The system is slow and corrupt and families and friends dwindle away real quick.

I firmly believe hope replaces discouragement while trust overcomes doubt because my God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).  That’s being His hands and feet!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Beautiful You Bouquet 2

Can He Keep Me From Going Under?

Blameless Head Above Water

Can He Keep Me From Going Under?

I’m not strong enough.  I can’t take any more.

How can being the hands and feet of God compete with:  “Can He keep me from going under?”  Help, I don’t know what to do!  I’m going under.  I’m not strong enough to remain afloat.  I can’t take any more.  I’m too exhausted to push through!  “My shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore.”

Such words of bewildered desperation are illustrated perfectly in Elena Kalis’ photography depicting the near drowning of emotions when life becomes hard.  These daunting pleadings are expressed all too often and are common with failed expectations, losses, and even the fears of the unknown. 

These pleadings don’t necessarily signify depression, but it does express a depleted soul with dry, brittle bones in need of being filled with living waters that only a relationship with the Lord could breathe life back into. 

Perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) because fear has to do with punishment.

Are you drowning underneath a sea of debt?  Overwhelmed with balancing work and school?  Spouse left you for another?  Are you on the front lines engaging in battle with your children or stepchildren?

This sounds more like an infomercial without the pity party.  Pity parties are great when you’re trying to become a loner or in need of releasing a Noah’s Flood.

How about, instead of extending your “special peeps” with grace and mercy waving your white flag of surrender, is your anger resembling more of an automatic weapon spewing out flaming arrows and emotional darts leaving carnage strewn about? 

Better yet, are you trying to carry your cross underneath a mountain of persecution?  Oh, I just walked through that valley of the shadow of death myself.  Can I say brutal?

So what can we do when we feel we’re drowning and our fears override our faith?  How many times do we scream for help, run towards some sense of consolation, in places where solace and strength cannot be found?  Fear immobilizes us from moving forward victoriously, but so do our behaviors. 

I don’t know about you, but I used to lean towards the temporary fix of denial which clearly interferes with swimming through a sea of problems.  Builds raging seas instead. 

When I tried to face the giant (the fear), it usually started through the numbing effects of alcohol, you know, good ‘ole liquid courage, to take the edge off.  That usually just left a headache with a need to drink more to numb the pain that the alcohol brought on from temporarily diffusing the affliction. 

Mouthful I know!  You get what I’m saying, right?

Then I gravitated towards long hours of work so I didn’t have time to face the giant lurking.  Talk about a white elephant!  This left the impression on my heart that I was in control and could handle it.  Ha! 

And then how about the infamous feel-good natural high of endorphins that retail therapy delivered?  Hello… my ‘ole time favorite!  A girl’s gotta look good, you know, or have a dozen sets of silk sheets just because…

Most probably, the usual vice we all use:  The extensive coddling and stroking that our friendships and family offer.  That might be good initially, but usually they are only going to tell us what we want to hear anyways because they are so much like us and do not want to offend us in fear of adding more insult to injury.  Now we’ve trapped them into our battleground of F-E-A-R!

How does brave faith face the fear without drowning or causing more harm?  We do live in a quick-fix technological mindset where we want what we want NOW!  The only wisdom I can share being sustained with victorious courage in walking through these dark periods is found when we Faith the Fear!  We can only Faith the Fear by engaging in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Two beloveds I know shared similar pleas with me this week that mirrored the desperation depicted in Elena Kalis’ photograph along with matching lyrics found in Casting Crowns’ amazing “Oh My Soul” song.  Their heartache is prompting me to start a new series entitled “Faith the Fear.”  My life was built on fear and I want others struggling the same to know how God removed those shackles through faith.  And forgiveness, Faith that Fear!

When we are feeling we’re not strong enough, and we can’t take any more and are drowning underneath the sea of our fears and tears, not to mention how we feel our shipwrecked faith will never get us safely to shore; Jesus tenderly reminds us, You can let go and lay it down.  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).  I am your life preserver.”

Face the God you know.  God will NEVER belittle you, nor tell you, “I told you so.”  That’s mankind’s conditional love aspect that we have sadly grown accustomed to.  God tirelessly digs underneath the piles and layers of dirt and disease until He excitedly finds us.  He lovingly unearths His treasures by washing away all the dirt and muck and yuck bringing clarity and light to the Beautiful gems we are.

He’s so proud of His masterpieces, His very own creation, that He serenades over us as He quiets our hearts with His Great Love (Zephaniah 3:17).  He delights in us and even rejoices as He painstakingly takes the time to carefully dust off all the dirt whereas not to scratch and harm us.  He washes and polishes off the dry and rough edges until we can see the love in His eyes as He proclaims through celebration,“There you are, Beautiful, my rare and precious treasure.  I love you.”

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Brave, Beautiful You!