Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!

I repeatedly watched my father’s beat-into-submission cornering of my mother through rage and control while clutching a beer in his left hand. His dangling right hand empowered with flexibility slapped away our quivering lips and stilled our own screams into silence and defeat.

Sometimes pain crushes you. It leaves you incapable of love and void of everything. The brokenness craters a deep wound. Tears no longer roll down your cheeks and screams won’t escape past your lips. Instead, the force brews inside until its burn shatters your broken soul.

I never felt safe or protected after being exposed to these gut-punching realities. I continued to bury the tears and fears that formed a glacier surrounding my heart in ice.

From the weight and movement of my own childhood trauma, this powerful force began to flow outward and downward under its own pressure taking down anyone and everything that was in its path of erosion.

The tears may have initially escaped my eyes, but the shame of the hurt ran away down my cheeks and lingered deeply. Turning my pain inward only regressed my fears and caused a battle within of chaos and unbearable burning.

Feelings that once masked any trace of childhood trauma were now visible. One day after my father died, I noticed how my own reactive behaviors modeled his. My dad may have died, but his life of pain and rage was very much still alive; within me.

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Teaching others the value of walking together so that the world can believe in the power of God’s Great Love (John 17:23).

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Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, with lifelong health and opportunity.

Working together, we can help create neighborhoods, communities, and a world in which every person can survive and thrive.

Creating opportunities for healing inside our state prisons requires connection and communication, not isolation. Sometimes all it takes is a person filled with God’s Great Love, hope and compassion who has been healed themselves to help uncover unhealthy behaviors that are destroying everyone in its path. This builds bridges of healing.

If we’re not open to discussions leading to what triggers violent behavior, how are we going to experience the peace and transformation that restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care delivers?

Today’s offender will be tomorrow’s neighbor!

Until next time…