Tag Archives: #Jesus

I’ll Hold You As Long As It Takes…

I’ll Hold You As Long As It Takes…

I stood there shocked in disbelief. Every single one of the doctor’s words spoken were unintelligible, framed in slow-motioned lip slices to this mama’s hemorrhaging heart.

When our world turns upside down AND implodes!

Hearing tragic news literally jolts your world. It scars and cuts like a knife. It shakes and rocks your world more violent than a 7.5 earthquake.

The doctor’s rushed encounter causes sheer terror. Extreme panic and shock sets in. Only divine and supernatural intervention can restore.

Your hands cup the disbelief along with salty tears released from the ducts of Hoover Dam. You collapse to the ground because your weight becomes too much to bear by yourself. 

As your body folds onto the cold cement floor of the E.R. doorway, your focus zooms to the feet scurrying by and the relentless, torturing, alarm sounds going off from medical devices sustaining lives triggering major PTSD.

Code Blue, Room 2!

The coolness from the floor can’t compete with what’s burning through your heart and mind.  The branding sears, “Code Blue, Room 2; Code Blue, Room 2.”

My mind races back 25 years as I cradle this beautiful blue-eyed baby boy with the sweetest white hair that I spiked up like Bart Simpson.

The joy this mama’s heart pondered hearing what a beautiful baby he was from those passing by; though their initial reactions were that he was a girl because he was such a beautiful porcelain-skinned doll. It didn’t matter, he was my beautiful baby.  He was God’s medical miracle.

Cradling him back and forth became a coping mechanism that would offer him comfort throughout his life.

Setting them free…

My beautiful blessings

Miracles…

I wish I could go back and hold him forever as I squish and caress his porky feet.

Only us mamas can appreciate our infatuations with our children’s feet.

Dislike feet?  Stinky and gross?

Me, too.  That is, until I gave birth to my children.

Suddenly two feet layered in Red Wings and blue slip covers slide into my uncharted pool of tears. I’m agitated because they’re occupying my “personal space,” even though I lay dormant on the hospital’s floor. 

After hearing repeated “Ma’ams,” this fully bearded, piercing dark eyes and haired man wearing a white kippah squats down and squares me right in the face. His lips begin to move, but I can no longer make sense of anything after the explosion of tragedy hit my brain.

I laid there comatose until his physical touch stroking my hair away from my face did my senses start to re-emerge.

He offers to help me up, but due to the paralysis from all the fear and dread and the lack of courage to face reality, he scoops me up into his arms instead and pulls me out of the deadly traffic jam in front of Trauma Room 2.

No sooner than hearing the beat of another’s heart, my eyes fell laser-focused onto the huge lifeless squishy feet hanging over the hospital gurney as many doctors and nurses were performing CPR, inserting tubes and IV’s into my lifeless blue son.

The adrenaline from the broken heart leaped me out of the chaplain’s arms and off the floor as loud battle cries from heaven wailed, causing the medical team to pull the curtain closed.

The chaplain catches me again, pulling me away from the room.

When your visualization is a lifeless baby boy, who may be 6’5″, but who is blue and not responding to medical attention being rendered, your eyes and mind focus intuitively on what’s outside the drawn curtain for survival. 

You frame each second onto the surroundings; his blood on the floor, the fluid bags and needle wrappings and the horrible sounds coming from the trauma team who is now holding your baby boy as long as it takes.

God’s Great Love reaches down to hold me tight through this amazing Jewish Chaplain named Joe. God comforts me through Joe saying, “I’ll hold you as long as it takes” along with scripture from Deuteronomy 31:6:

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God was faithful in sustaining me. His words are branded forever in my heart and mind, “I’ll hold you as long as it takes.”

And through a life that’s cleaved to those beautiful words, even when there hasn’t been an expected and good ending, I trust my Father God to pick me up and carry me through every tragedy and loss that comes my way.

As far as this 6’5″ baby boy, his striking blue eyes still pierce this mama’s heart with love and strong, yet tender, hugs. This day ended well!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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Seek To Understand Before Seeking To Be Understood!

Blameless Seek To Understand

Seek To Understand Before Seeking To Be Understood! 

So hard when words from another hurt like hell.

Hi friends and family!  Our hearts and prayers go out to everyone who’s been affected by the tragedies in Gilroy, El Paso and Dayton. It seems that these hurt/sick people hurting others has turned into an evil epidemic seeing who can outkill one another.

When my son and I were talking about how these hate crimes and hurting individuals have changed the landscape of everyone’s lives, personally involved or not, it tapped into my own fears from being victimized reiterating how we’re all effected by these horrific crimes.

Right after talking with my son, I listened to a girlfriend’s deep pain from defeating and defaming words delivered by a coworker, feeling that no one defended her.

This brought up my own pain from the sting of what others have said and done recently that were still fresh.

Speaking honestly here, there’s a part of me who loves and walks out forgiveness emulating Jesus, but I would rather start ripping out these venomous tongues!  Words are destructive and often leave emotional wounds and scars unhealed.

I may be a follower of Jesus Christ, but I battle my own insecurities and fears just like everyone else. And after what we’ve witnessed through these heinous shootings, we need to choke this hate line and exhibit self-control with L-O-V-E, God’s Great Love.

phonto-64

Life forces us to be many people with differing hats and images within seconds of each other.  Friends in need (homeless beloveds), incarcerated beloveds, along with you and I, we all have hurts, insecurities, brokenness and needs. We just react and respond to them differently.

I keep leaning into these beautiful words of Psalm 85:8.

“Now I’ll listen carefully for your voice
and wait to hear whatever you say.
Let me hear your promise of peace—
the message every one of your godly lovers longs to hear.
Don’t let us in our ignorance turn back from following you.”

Working with friends in need and the incarcerated and their families, one common denominator that is lacking is love and forgiveness; God’s Love, unconditional love. It is easy to hate and judge, especially after witnessing these deadly shootings, but feelings pushed down fester and will destroy.

Tragically, we’ve allowed our unhealed pain to turn into hate. Hurt people hurt others. Instead of communities with living, breathing people, we have become part of the problem hiding behind our screens. We are no longer a part of the solution.

Allowing pain to turn into hate, this great divide becomes a part of the problem and forfeits any solution.

Where’s the person to stand up and defend others when hateful words and evil actions are spoken of and acted out?

Where there are persistent hurts, evil will prevail.

I almost let paralyzing fear stop me from helping another in need yesterday. Our Lord loves it when we move out in faith. People need to encounter extensions of love and kindness being poured out.

Action helps change the impact on our futures, though.

How can we allow God to turn our emotional wounds into good like He promises in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it…”?

Our emotional wounds and bruises fall short in receiving help because only time and grace can process the pain.  Our bruises and pain take more than a quick click.

Blameless Being Understood

Emotional Hurts and Wounded Spirits

Looking back on some of my “most painful” life experiences, the sleepless nights, the tear-stained pillows, the anger and bitterness that developed because the people closest to me delivered nothing but betrayal and disappointment, and the torment in being abused and rejected, God’s Great Love came pouring out!

Our Beautiful Jesus always has a plan for redemption, but…

Amid my all-time lowest moments, and I’m talking crushed, shackled and bound, I’ve witnessed the miraculous power of healing, redemption, reconciliation and restoration. God uses both the good and the bad (Romans 8:28).

Without pain, there’s no healing. Without imprisonment, redemption couldn’t be experienced. If there’s no estrangement, then reconciliation isn’t possible. And without destruction, there’s no need for restoration.

Experiencing this blossoming, this growth, that constructs the very core of who we are and created to become is miraculous.

We just can’t allow ourselves to be defined through this prison of pain.

We Are The Product Of Every Decision

Every day of our lives, we get the opportunity to respond to everything that crosses our path. By remembering that Someone (God) believes we are good enough in their eyes and that we don’t have to measure up to anyone to be loved should usher us into confidence. There’s nothing we can do to be loved more or loved less. It’s a gift to just receive.

Being utilized as a bridge that meets others in their struggles and a source of support and encouragement for building community is a part of the solution. Everything we do today matters. Our impact matters. It effects today and our future.

Seeking to understand others before seeking to be understood will help terminate hate. Let’s be proactive parts to the solution. Forgiveness is a great decision that leads to love!

Blameless Bridge Between Past and Future

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

Help Me Find My Family

Blameless Gregory

Help Me Find My Family

Please share.  This is Gregory Garland and his birthday is Saturday, October 6.  He is nearing 70 years old and his last known address was in the Seattle, Washington area.  Those blue eyes radiate his kindness and hope without telling the real story of how he wants to go home and be with his children.  His children are located in Washington and Massachusetts and probably think he’s dead.  Their names are Cheri Lee Garland, Stephanie Harrera (spelling ?), Gregory J. Garland and Sean I. Garland.  If you know them, please contact Tammy Ingram or Blameless and Forever Free Ministries at blamelessandforeverfree@gmail.com or Facebook.

Gregory came to California for a hip replacement surgery.  Once he was released, he wanted his alcohol.  He is an alcoholic.  One thing led to another and he was attacked and beat up with all his possessions taken except for his walker.  This is how I met Gregory.  He was incoherent on the side of the road and I pulled over.  I had to stop traffic and summon paramedics.  He went back to the hospital.

Upon release, he had no driver’s license, no wallet, no cell phone, nothing but his walker.  I have run back into Gregory after looking for him for months and we need to find his family.  He stays to himself, like many homeless, and has exhausted all resources and feels this is just how he will die. 

Due to technology, can you remember your kids’ phone numbers?  I can’t and have felt hopeless at times and quite ignorant when my cell wasn’t readily available.  What most of you don’t know about the homeless is, a lot of resources are not available without a valid I.D.  They cannot even receive necessary resources like temporary shelters because they don’t have a valid I.D.  We cannot get Gregory a valid I.D. without a birth certificate.

Many homeless individuals suffer from this mandatory item; lack of I.D.  It is horrendous and quite a lengthy time-consuming process and expensive to get the necessary items that are needed for emergency support.  Plus, you need a valid mailing address to send this pertinent information to.  If you’re homeless, you don’t have a valid mailing address.

We will be ordering Gregory’s birth certificate and finish completing the forms on Thursday, but it will take weeks to have it sent to Blameless’ mailing address.  Then once we get it, we will have to go down to the DMV and order an I.D. card/driver’s license which will take a couple more weeks.  You get the idea here.  He is unable to receive his Social Security or any financial help.  He is suffering from a significant skin disease/lesions throughout his body now and needs medical help.

Please, this man is near and dear to me.  If we can find his family, I will do everything in my power to put him on a bus or an airplane to get him to his daughters in Washington, but I need to first find them and have hopes that they have his birth certificate or other documents to expedite travel.

Yes, this is a battle which keeps many homeless beloveds homeless.  I used to sit back and judge and get all pissy because some hotels were allowing the homeless to come into the lobby area and charge their cell phones.  I felt so violated and upset with the generous management of some hotels.  Woe to me for being Princess Tammy judging and thinking heinously because now here I am running a nonprofit organization that is trying to make a difference in the lives of those who have been rejected and are homeless for a sundry of reasons.

Please help me help Gregory Garland whose birthday is Saturday, October 6, in finding his family so his gentle spirit can live long enough to get home and see his family.  I’ve had to hunt him down.  He is not asking for anything, but I AM!  This will also remove one more homeless person off the streets.  One person at a time, one day at a time.  With God, all things are possible!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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To Belittle…

To Belittle Is To

be little!

Should you ever find yourself the victim of another’s bitterness, their smallness, or even their insecurities, remember… things could be worse… you could be them!

Oh my…

No, thank you! I’ve had my fill of the angry birds and abusers for a lifetime.

Today I was reminded of God’s amazing love and His protection in guarding my heart when a family member attacked and belittled me.

Abusers are a part of my DNA. Lord knows I’ve learned from the best! But one thing I have learned and am so grateful for is, Greater is He that lives in me than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4).

The beauty of transformation. Thank you, Jesus!

And I don’t take “my DNA” lightly. The blood that runs through my veins now is kingdom-filled and full of life flowing with God’s Love, not hate and spite of the enemy that comes to kill, steal and destroy!

Am I upset?

It’s time to break through the mold and thank Jesus for His life and freedom in being beautiful beloveds who are dearly loved, imperfect and yet, His magnificent works of art, right?

I want to be free of all these deeply-seated wounds and the broken pieces that are hindering me from my God-given identity and purpose.

How about you?

Blameless Breaking Free

When another belittles or tries to pretend we’re a bad person so they don’t feel guilty about the things they did personally to us or said about us, running from confrontation and any accountability whatsoever, we are most like Christ when we remain silent under attack.

And let me be brutally honest here…

It is sooooo freakin’ stinkin’ hard to remember this when being assaulted. People can be savage!

Belittle may be defined as to “make (someone or something) seem unimportant,” but that’s an understatement. People are cruel. Even family members. This is their way of projecting their insecurities onto others and what they wished they actually were.

So when walking through another’s assault that deems my life as “worthless,” the sole blame for their problems, it is near impossible to be quiet.

Where’s my voice, Lord?

Gag me with peace!

How can my breastplate be shielding my heart when I can still feel pain ricocheting off my shield?

This breastplate of righteousness is what protects and guards our heart which is the very seat of our emotions, you know, our self-worth and trust factor.

Thank God I’ve been touched by my Beautiful Jesus who loves me and I can run to Him for refuge knowing He’ll never forsake me.

When you’ve been completely rejected and abandoned, you need tender coddling and assurance to deal with persecution and courage to walk through life confident and strong.

Sweet friends, the piercing of our hearts requires immediate healing so the pain will not attach and fester into a venomous bitter root. When stuffed down, it will eventually mirror the aggressor’s ugly actions with death rolling from our tongues!

This reiterates why James talks about the tongue being a small but powerful member that destroys everyone and everything in its path (James 3:1-12). Who needs to fear a nuclear war when our mouths are more destructive?

Forgive me for the profanity below, but it speaks to my carnality as it releases toxins from the sting incurred from an embittered person’s assaults.

Blameless Projection Accountability

Just being transparent…

It’s hard to pray for those who hurt us, but loving our enemies and doing good to those who hate us is brutally challenging. Not to mention blessing those who curse us is even harder (Luke 6:27-29).

I’m still a work in progress, but it can be done when we’re filled with God’s Love.

Remembering to be on guard equipped with our shields of faith when assaults come out of nowhere takes practice. We lose our focus easily. Guarding our hearts and minds requires being grounded daily in God’s Word. This helps thwart the attacks from distracting us and subtracting our worth.

Our worth was never theirs to give us in the first place, so they cannot take away what was not theirs to give anyways.

Words hurt. They sting. They rob us and can leave us depleted!

Belittling is flat-out cruel and a form of emotional abuse. The best rebuttal is to love and respond with a blessing. That takes a BIG heart of courage! Any fool can retaliate; just saying…

God wants His Beautiful Beloveds building others up because we know what it’s like to be torn down and ripped to shreds.

So…

“Never let anyone belittle you. Their unkind words are a reflection of their insecurities and what they wish for you to be.” Trust in yourself and believe in who God says you are:

His Masterpiece!

Until next time...

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

Mary, Did You Know…

… That Your Baby Boy Would …


“When the divine life possesses the soul, it flows over in gracious ministries among our fellowmen. The affluence becomes an influence importing itself to others.” ~ John Henry Jowett

My mind has been fixated on two particular songs this Christmas season that announce a tug of war going on between pain and gain; Mary Did You Know and Labor of Love. One speaks of being highly favored in carrying the King of all kings and all its glory, while the other speaks to the pain and suffering surrounding the inhumane conditions and environment during the birth of Jesus.

Mary is known for being the mother of Jesus Christ and for sojourning through life with influence being “highly favored.” This pronouncement of grace delivered by the angel named Gabriel confuses her deserved respect to mere idolatry today (Luke 1:28).

I don’t know about you, but the planting of that miraculous seed developing right before my very eyes, both figuratively and literally, would open the doorway of vulnerability for enemy attacks, assaults and accusations. I would have absolutely no time to prepare or be on guard for the automatic deployment of the flaming arrows that would confuse this “gift” being highly favored.

When God speaks, we oftentimes forget there’s more to the story than meets the eye. 

Do I hear an Amen before the ahem?

Worshiping a sinful woman who suffered immensely beyond all comprehension destroys her deep faith and amazing testimony. She should definitely be respected and praised, but not idolized and sought after for prayer, deliverance, you name it. Her life is an example to follow!

Mary was a woman of faith and discipline. When Jesus referred to Mary as “Woman” in John 2:4 during the wedding, that should have initiated an automatic reactionary backhand.

Though we don’t know all the details, Mary’s faith was built on trust and delivered through tragedy and heartache.

Blameless Star of David

How is God’s gracious presence being displayed through our lives?

As I focus on the words of both songs and understand what all it cost Mary being Jesus’ mother, it reminds me of my own grief and losses as a parent. My faith recalls my own refinement process and the molding and shaping that occurred during my school of pain. My children will receive their gifting, but some qualities are delayed, others cost dearly, and many can only be learned through pain and suffering.

Absent of Mary’s labeling, she didn’t know her baby boy would calm violent storms with His precious hands. That He would give sight to the blind. That He would walk where angels trod. And each time she leaned in to kiss her baby boy, she had no idea she was kissing the face of God.

She never knew that her son would be Lord of all creation and would one day rule all the nations. How could she? Nor that her baby boy would be crucified and tortured right before her very eyes just to save our sons and daughters.

Moms, that’s excruciating pain…

The thought that this precious baby cooing and looking back at you as he nurses off of your breasts has come to make you new, and this child that you delivered will soon deliver you because He is the Great I Am is unimaginable!

Forget the glamorous depiction of a cleaned-up baby Jesus with white skin and blue eyes. That’s an illusion. Jesus was most probably dark skinned. He was born in filth, disease and decay. Mary may have delivered and brought down heaven, but it was not in conditions that were indicative of any kingdom affluence and/or privilege.

“It was not a silent night. There was blood on the ground. You could hear a woman cry in the alley late at night. And the stable was not clean, and the cobblestones were cold, little Mary full of grace with the tears upon her face with no mother’s hand to hold…”

It was nothing short of a Labor of Love.

Raising An Extra-Grace Required Child!

Mary knew Jesus was unlike any other, yet she went through questionable behaviors and unknowns just like we do regarding what her child would become. Being the mother of Jesus required more than mastering the skills needed to raise an extra-grace required child.

Ponder that…

She pondered and treasured the words in her heart that the angel Gabriel delivered, the words of Elizabeth, the shepherds’ pronouncements, and the prophetic words of the Old Testament. She kept tapping into these treasures deep in her heart along with her faith and trust in God. 

These treasures Mary held near to her heart are what kept her brave and strong. This radiance is what both held and lit the way during darkness. We may not understand everything, but we can love and support while believing in others because Jesus radiates within our souls.

When the divine life possesses the soul, it flows over in gracious ministries among our fellowmen. The affluence becomes an influence importing itself to others. ~ John Henry Jowett

If we are beloveds who delight in the gift of Jesus’ presence, we become imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1-2).

Jesus is the Labor of Love!

Until next time…

Blameless Gratitude Wall Beautiful You

What Does Christianity and Easter Have In Common?

Blameless John 15.13

What Does Christianity and Easter

Have In Common? 

He Is Risen!

His tortured and mutilated frame bled like ours as His blood-stained arms were stretched out and nailed to a wooden cross.  These nails that bound him at the hands and feet did not end His kingdom and/or take away His spoken promises.  They fulfilled it!  Jesus’ death brought love, life, truth, forgiveness and eternal reconciliation with God through His resurrection.  Jesus Christ defeated every sin, all evil and death on the cross.  Death is not an ending, nor should we fear or dread it!

The Resurrection is at the very core of the Christian faith.  Christ promised that He would be risen again in three days (John 2:19).  Since He did just as He promised, we can be certain every single word Jesus ever spoke is nothing but the Truth because He is God (1 Corinthians 15:13-18).  God sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:9-10)!

Because Jesus has risen and is alive, we can be assured that He is sitting at the right hand of God and that our sins are forgiven and forgotten.  And since Jesus has risen, we can have faith that He is living and intercedes to God on our behalf.  What a glorious promise to treasure and embrace this Holy Week with Good Friday and Easter celebrations, reminding us of the victory gained on the cross all in the name of Love. 

Since Jesus rose and was resurrected, He defeated death which ushers believers into eternal life with God the Father once we are gloriously raised (John 11:25).  Now that’s quite a celebratory event, wouldn’t you agree?  After all, the stone that was rolled away from the tomb heralded the gateway to heaven and the assurance of the promises that await us.  We will also see our loved ones who passed before us again; that’s cause for celebration!

Sadly, the beautiful truths and proclamation about Jesus’ life, death and resurrection has been riddled with division due to the deception built around our legalistic religions.  Jesus’ death and resurrection wasn’t fulfilled in order to instill guilt or shame.  Quite the contrary!  His death and resurrection was never intended to manipulate us through threats of eternal damnation or to restrain us with fear in order to lead us to repentance.  Jesus did it all in the name of Love because God is the source of all love.

We have a friend in Jesus.  Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends (John 15:13).  As hard as it is to wrap our finite minds around this concept, we need to remember, There is no fear in love.  But Perfect Love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18).  That is the key that unlocks the doorway of our hearts and minds to engage in this great love affair.

I don’t know about you, but I needed introduction into what belonging meant because I was abandoned and rejected.  I was once orphaned and alone, but all I had to do was reach out towards my Lord’s extending hand to receive His presence and adoption into His kingdom.  Jesus is the gateway towards grace.  Jesus is the doorway towards deliverance.  Jesus is the free pass for peace.  Jesus is the man of mercy.  Jesus is the gate to glory!

I have been hated, but Jesus calls me highly favored.  I was broken and betrayed, but Jesus made beauty out of ashes.  My heart was fractured into many pieces, but Jesus offered me peace.  When my worth and value were questioned, Jesus showed me my significance.  I was once lonely, but Jesus calls me His friend.  I was once abused, but Jesus is my advocate and protector.  I was once weak and insecure, but now I’m strong, bold and courageous. 

Everything Jesus did in His Life and through His death was extraordinarily loving!

Jesus ushers us into the gateway of heaven.  That’s why He suffered such a horrendous death.  Love is a choice and requires action.  He died for my sins, let alone the world’s, to bring us into reconciliation with God.  God so desperately wanted a relationship with His beloved children, He was willing to sacrifice it all, His only begotten son, and that was quite a selfless act. 

Jesus brought heaven down.  Let’s be Beautiful Beloveds who praise with reverence and adoration.  There is no Greater Love than what ushers believers into eternal paradise promised and delivered through His death and resurrection.  We can be at peace in the words Jesus promised us.  That is love and hope worth believing and cleaving into!  This hope is what empowers us with confidence to bravely walk by faith and not faint by sight!

Let’s commence this Holy Week remembering the freedom we have received from the death and resurrection of Christ.  He is alive and is risen!  I am embracing this beautiful Easter celebrating and rejoicing over who my Lord and Savior is, my Redeemer, by sharing with others this joy that resides within me and radiates off of me.  Love is a choice with an action; won’t you join me!

Jesus Is Risen

That’s Why You’re Beautiful You! 

Living With Addiction Day 4 ~ Never Give Up On Yourself

Blameless Never Give Up

Living With Addiction

Never Give Up On Yourself

Day 4 of 40

My precious loved ones:  I am hoping you’re reading this because you have mentioned your awareness in rage and haste.  For starters, I love you with all my heart and soul and am so sorry you’re hurting!  ♥♥  Sometimes Perfect Love requires discipline and correction; this is how we learn.  There is no shame or blame here with what has happened, just the awareness of the accountability and reaching out for help!    

And even though you may not believe it, the pain I’m feeling is more than a broken heart, it’s a loss; the greatest loss of loved ones that any family could ever be blessed with.  That leadership gift that graces your lives with struggles is the testimony needed to share and relate with the world.  None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes and we just need to learn how to recover from them and get back up in order to grow.  Change is hard; I know this one all too well.

We all need the extension of the olive branch from time to time.  Grabbing ahold of it, though, presents many challenges filled with unknowns, but there is nothing to fear with Perfect Love.  The door of faith and favor and fulfillment is just waiting for you to grab ahold of and walk through.  My love will never stop; though it be afar right now!  God sees my tears and hears my prayers for the deliverance of anger, addiction and abuse.  This cycle needs to stop!

Living with addiction and its associated strongholds of anger, abuse and depression is a pattern that is being repeated over and over again in our families.  It has even claimed the life of some!  We are all beautiful specimens of our generations past so instead of running and hiding from the pain and patterns out of fear and shame, let’s embrace it and sever these addictive qualities. 

I kind of know what you’re feeling right now; abandoned and rejected, scared and confused.  I get that!  I am sorry you’re hurting.  I have felt that way myself more times than I care to admit.  This is what is tearing me apart the most because you are so loved and there is help waiting.

There is no shame or embarrassment here, just acknowledgement of the need for help and owning up to your own responsibility and asking for forgiveness.  Change is necessary for healthy relationships.  It’s a tough road, but a healthy mindset is powerful and full of peace.  That’s what counselors, support groups, family, and your responsibility in walking through those doors offer.  Going at it alone will only repeat, even intensify, the problem and another generation be cursed.

We have two choices:  Live with it or live without it.  I am no longer living with addiction or its byproduct.  I still struggle with my own strongholds of fear and denial, let alone anger and depression, but that is something the Lord will continue to work with me on this side of heaven.  I am not perfect.  No one is!  That’s the beauty of life blossoming.

I am not an enabler, nor am I co-dependent on the chaos and control spewing from the venom that entangles others into a massive web of destruction.  I decided to sever this dysfunctional lifestyle and embrace the protection offered from the umbrella of God’s grace and mercy to be protected from the storm causing all this pain long ago and follow up on my boundaries laid out.

Fear may have driven my entire life from the deposits of all the strongholds, but I will not engage in that battleground any longer.  I opened the chambers of my heart, but now with becoming healthier and stronger from living away from all the abuse, that world I left behind many years ago is where it resides; in the past!  It is scary, chaotic, and depleting and not a healthy environment.

Becoming healthy is an amazing freedom to live in!  I am seeing how God has transformed my own life because fear is loosening the reins of dictatorship controlling my decisions.  I am no longer surrounded by the fuel lines of anger and aggression and control that used to manipulate me.  I still struggle, but am prevailing.  I can see so clearly now how I do not belong in those strongholds God miraculously delivered me from.  

I may grieve now for a time and it will be hard, but by hanging onto the Lord, the Perfect Love who casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) and whom I know and trust wholeheartedly, this stretching will be brutal because I must be patient and await God’s timing to perform His miraculous healing.  I am walking by faith and not by sight; my faith walk.  It’s the being removed and patient part while grieving that will challenge my faith. 

When we’re awaiting the restoration and healing of our loved ones, we want the healing now!!!  I know I do!  The Lord assured me that your sickness would not end in death (John 11:4), but will glorify Him.  I will hang onto that Promise knowing I will see you again, touch you and celebrate while severing these strongholds afflicting our family.  I am sorry you’re hurting.  With my tears, this I pray with great expectation, in Jesus’ mighty name!

I love you… ♥♥