Tag Archives: #living with addiction

Living With Addiction Day 5 ~ Perfect Peace

Do You Dream In Colour?

Living With Addiction

Perfect Peace

Day 5 of 40

As I started opening my eyes this morning, I awoke so wrapped in Love that I was able to experience something that I had lost:  Perfect Peace!  You know that peace that develops after you’ve been unraveled by His Amazing Love; you can hear the birds chirping outside while singing along in their joyful rhythm, the world around you seems oddly quiet without cradling fear, and you feel restored, rested and rejuvenated, ready to grasp the changes that new beginnings offer.

What a beautiful way to embrace a new year, new beginnings, and claim the promises that 2016 offersIt’s time for me to open up the blinds and welcome this new season that is filled with all the warmth of the light radiating from the sun and spend time cuddling His Great Love through trust! 

I survived and severed another layer of my stronghold of fear solely because my faith walk was graced by God’s Great Love and tender mercies leading me to victory!  Living with addiction is just as hard, if not harder, on the loved one’s family as it is for the person battling it. 

Even though it’s hard at times to believe that we’re wrapped in God’s Great Love and the battle is His, especially when we feel defeated and that He is working too slow or not at all, being reminded that we are cradled and caressed by His strong and loving arms when we’re walking out our faith will bring deliverance!

The shock of these relentless storms started desensitizing what a healthy life is meant to live this side of heaven.  God is again renewing and restoring my dead bones that were parched from cruelty with His Living Water!  I forgot how heavy the weight of the chill that came from this dampness was.  Trudging through the dreary swamp lands and not falling into the sinkholes and quicksand was exhausting. 

Today I can feel myself waltzing merrily along as free as one should be when living and dancing with her Teacher, her Father, the One she trusts and loves!  Life is to be sojourned through dance one step at a time.

I can actually say I have no idea how I came through this battle except to praise my Heavenly Father who held my hand and told me not to fear and trust Him as He guided me out of all this aggression and abuse!  I knew I was entangled into their web of destruction, and even though I was on my knees daily in prayer begging for strength and deliverance, I had forgotten what the stings of the deadly Black Widow brought; slow and torturing death.  This battle could no longer be won unless I surrendered waving my white flag!  That’s not defeat, that’s claiming victory at her finest hour!

If God parted the Red Sea for me so I would no longer be a slave to fear and could walk right through it to receive the path of peace and protection, much like he did for the Israelites when they were under attack and fearful for their lives, there is absolutely no reason why He wouldn’t part these raging seas for my loved ones. God parts our Red Seas so we can walk on water while He drowns our fears in His Perfect Love like the beautiful song No Longer Slaves sings!  Hike on that faith walk for six minutes or so and be blessed.

I am still worried and hurting for my loved ones, but I will be spending the weekend with great friends who want to go deeper in our friendships and our faith walks while meditating and reflecting on two of my favorite passages of all time that I share quite often because this is what sustains me and reminds me how wrapped in His Love I am:  Isaiah 41:10-13 and 1 John 4:18.

Won’t you join me in praising God this weekend for His amazing grace and love and hug someone today.  We never know what anyone is battling, and I know I have loved ones out there who could use a hug or two or three! 

See you next week…  

Living With Addiction Day 3 ~Letting Go

Blameless Door Enter Letting Go

Living With Addiction

Letting Go

Day 3 of 40

Today I let go of my precious loved ones struggling under the bondage and pain that living with addiction afflicts.  These souls, like many, battle strongholds of many kinds.  I don’t know what hurts worse, the unknown of their whereabouts and them not feeling loved or living with the fact that I could not be the one to help them conquer their battles.  

After my boundaries were bulldozed over repeatedly and these violations started triggering my old stronghold of fear to comply with their manipulations and control, that’s when I realized I had to let go and let God have His way.  This was and is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life because there are so many precious lives entangled here.  The grief and loss I am feeling is overwhelming.  I know many of us tender hearts are feeling the same tonight!

I am battling this sense of conflict between the guilt and shame in not being and doing enough for them along with the freedom in standing tall while loving myself enough to acknowledge that being healthy myself requires being removed from these generational curses that has overcome my precious loved ones.  I poured out so much love, I am parched.  I feel defeated, to say the least.  I don’t know if there are larger puddles of water outside from the constant rain or the puddling from the breach in the dam flowing from my tattered heart. 

As I pen these very words, the paramedics and fire department are parked outside my door which has been a common denominator and part of my life.  Except this time they have taken my lifeless neighbor away.  I pray she gathers enough strength to fight through her ailing health because she has a family that is also scared. They all need to be wrapped in love!

I am meditating on the scripture found in Psalm 90:12 that reminds us to “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  This comforts me a little, being honest, because without the love and wisdom to let go, that would have been my body instead being taken to the hospital.  Living with addiction effects everyone!  

Lord, I believe in you…

Enjoy Crystal Lewis’ song above about faith and believing in the hope and promises of the Lord.  The grieving process will be hard to digest, but I have to remind myself that I did my very best to pour out love into them, to comfort them, and to share my faith with them in ways on how to walk through this stronghold with strength and victory for deliverance.  I know many of us are going through this with loved ones and this is a job for the Great Healer and Physician!

God never said life would be easy!  I have decided never to give up on myself and walk through the door of letting go by believing.  Healing can begin when we believe!

Until next time…