Tag Archives: #love

Clothing Ourselves This Labor Day With The Goodness And Love Of God!

Psalm 23:6, Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Clothing Ourselves This Labor Day With The Goodness And Love Of God!

Happy Labor Day, Friends and Family!  Are you celebrating Labor Day on the lake boating and skiing?

Oh, how my kids and I spent many fun-filled times on Folsom Lake.

Maybe your day was filled with great sales and shopping?

Hello…

Who doesn’t love retail therapy? 

How about a day filled with family and friends celebrating while barbecuing after the annual Labor Day parade?

I celebrated with a bike ride in Squaw Valley/Lake Tahoe and felt as young as my granddaughter.

Blameless' Founder, Grammy Tammy

Admittedly, I never realized the significance of Labor Day beyond being a much-needed three-day weekend announcing the demise of summer, hot dogs and wearing white. 

Then again, who follows trends?

White is ALWAYS right!!!

Interestingly enough, Labor Day started as part of a worker’s labor union movement. Labor Day pays tribute to the achievements and contributions of the American men and women in the workforce.  Around the 19th century, many U.S. workers were working twelve hours a day, seven days a week making barely enough to get by.

Those were not the good ‘ole days

Blameless Isaiah 40:8, The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

Due to poor working conditions and to compel employers to renegotiate better pay and hours, around 10,000 bold and courageous workers decided to take essential unpaid time off from work and march in awareness and protest from City Hall to Union Square in New York City, holding the first U.S. Labor Day parade! 

Their endeavors weren’t immediately reciprocated or without cost, including deaths and destruction due to riots, but I have so much more appreciation understanding this great cost. Change always costs someone or something.

Embracing God’s amazing grace is the essential key in running this race victoriously.

And yet with another deadly mass shooting in Texas this past week, celebrations seem futile when there are so many hurting, suffering and grieving beloveds who have lost loved ones due to evil and in need of strength and compassion.

Topped with this tormenting hurricane, Hurricane Dorian, layered with its imminent destruction leaving hearts completely exposed and tattered due to the sting of chaos and opposition, lives are surviving in crisis mode.

Talk about a breeding ground making people more stressed and even crazier!

A heart can only take so much…

This season of threat being in constant limbo not knowing where, when and how to evacuate, or to even find a place of safe refuge these days, we have a lot of hurting and scared people. Going through catastrophic events exposes many needs requiring everyone’s help and patience.

Blameless No Longer A Slave To Fear

Admittedly, last week I was full of woe and worry for my own family. This week I am filled with gratitude and determination to make a difference in the lives of so many hurting beloveds because God filled my own bleeding heart with His word. 

I hear the Lord saying to all of us, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!”

Psalm 32:8-9 TPT

God oftentimes has to often grab us by the bit to redirect our stubborn fits.

So in order to eliminate the terrible duo of fear and loss, I don’t know about you, but I believe working together with human kindness through God’s love and goodness is a great start. 

Colossians 3:12 reminds us to start each day as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothed with compassion and kindness, to name just a few.  The only way we can be dressed with compassion and kindness is to layer these virtues with His Great Love.  Love holds these virtues into place like glue.  When we let Love guide our life, the peace of Christ will rule in our tender hearts. 

Hurt, healed, ready to help. Ask and you shall receive!

Love Is The Glue Holding Compassion and Kindness In Place

People are fearful and need someone to help bridge the gap between chaos and peace. Without love, none of this can be accomplished. God’s kind of love is not a feeling, it’s an action that moves forward. God’s Great Love is selfless, requiring us to love whether we feel like it or not. 

Where there’s sorrow, a sign of God’s Great Love is to show compassion.  Where there is malice, kindness flows from the love that exists in our hearts. Where there is hate and bitterness, love remains long after words of assassination and is not easily irritated or quick to take offense.

Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others (1 Corinthians 13:7 TPT).

Letting God’s Great Love Guide Our Lives

Allowing God’s Great Love to guide our lives through human kindness offers freedom. Laying down one’s life to act as a bridge so another beloved who is filled with fear and loss can walk safely over to the other side where love and kindness can comfort. That’s what Jesus would do and did for mankind.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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I’ll Hold You As Long As It Takes…

I’ll Hold You As Long As It Takes…

I stood there shocked in disbelief. Every single one of the doctor’s words spoken were unintelligible, framed in slow-motioned lip slices to this mama’s hemorrhaging heart.

When our world turns upside down AND implodes!

Hearing tragic news literally jolts your world. It scars and cuts like a knife. It shakes and rocks your world more violent than a 7.5 earthquake.

The doctor’s rushed encounter causes sheer terror. Extreme panic and shock sets in. Only divine and supernatural intervention can restore.

Your hands cup the disbelief along with salty tears released from the ducts of Hoover Dam. You collapse to the ground because your weight becomes too much to bear by yourself. 

As your body folds onto the cold cement floor of the E.R. doorway, your focus zooms to the feet scurrying by and the relentless, torturing, alarm sounds going off from medical devices sustaining lives triggering major PTSD.

Code Blue, Room 2!

The coolness from the floor can’t compete with what’s burning through your heart and mind.  The branding sears, “Code Blue, Room 2; Code Blue, Room 2.”

My mind races back 25 years as I cradle this beautiful blue-eyed baby boy with the sweetest white hair that I spiked up like Bart Simpson.

The joy this mama’s heart pondered hearing what a beautiful baby he was from those passing by; though their initial reactions were that he was a girl because he was such a beautiful porcelain-skinned doll. It didn’t matter, he was my beautiful baby.  He was God’s medical miracle.

Cradling him back and forth became a coping mechanism that would offer him comfort throughout his life.

Setting them free…

My beautiful blessings

Miracles…

I wish I could go back and hold him forever as I squish and caress his porky feet.

Only us mamas can appreciate our infatuations with our children’s feet.

Dislike feet?  Stinky and gross?

Me, too.  That is, until I gave birth to my children.

Suddenly two feet layered in Red Wings and blue slip covers slide into my uncharted pool of tears. I’m agitated because they’re occupying my “personal space,” even though I lay dormant on the hospital’s floor. 

After hearing repeated “Ma’ams,” this fully bearded, piercing dark eyes and haired man wearing a white kippah squats down and squares me right in the face. His lips begin to move, but I can no longer make sense of anything after the explosion of tragedy hit my brain.

I laid there comatose until his physical touch stroking my hair away from my face did my senses start to re-emerge.

He offers to help me up, but due to the paralysis from all the fear and dread and the lack of courage to face reality, he scoops me up into his arms instead and pulls me out of the deadly traffic jam in front of Trauma Room 2.

No sooner than hearing the beat of another’s heart, my eyes fell laser-focused onto the huge lifeless squishy feet hanging over the hospital gurney as many doctors and nurses were performing CPR, inserting tubes and IV’s into my lifeless blue son.

The adrenaline from the broken heart leaped me out of the chaplain’s arms and off the floor as loud battle cries from heaven wailed, causing the medical team to pull the curtain closed.

The chaplain catches me again, pulling me away from the room.

When your visualization is a lifeless baby boy, who may be 6’5″, but who is blue and not responding to medical attention being rendered, your eyes and mind focus intuitively on what’s outside the drawn curtain for survival. 

You frame each second onto the surroundings; his blood on the floor, the fluid bags and needle wrappings and the horrible sounds coming from the trauma team who is now holding your baby boy as long as it takes.

God’s Great Love reaches down to hold me tight through this amazing Jewish Chaplain named Joe. God comforts me through Joe saying, “I’ll hold you as long as it takes” along with scripture from Deuteronomy 31:6:

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God was faithful in sustaining me. His words are branded forever in my heart and mind, “I’ll hold you as long as it takes.”

And through a life that’s cleaved to those beautiful words, even when there hasn’t been an expected and good ending, I trust my Father God to pick me up and carry me through every tragedy and loss that comes my way.

As far as this 6’5″ baby boy, his striking blue eyes still pierce this mama’s heart with love and strong, yet tender, hugs. This day ended well!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Truth or Dare?

Blameless Love 3

Who Holds The Key To Your Love Lock?

He Dared…

I Wanted Truth!

He never even looked twice…

We’ve all been weakened by incoming kryptonite (hotness) when our desire and need to be loved is so intense, it clouds, distorts and even destroys what love actually looks like.

We become delusional, even fanatical, of what Love really is. Our actions start mirroring conduct similar to the Energizer bunny demanding “Love me, love me, love me” right into the sunset.

Can I hear awkward?

We become so desperate for love, that we get right in its face and proclaim, “What about me? I need to be seen, to be desired, TO BE LOVED!”

To Be or Not To Be?

To be or not to be, that is the question.  Literally!

Is love a feeling or an action?

Selfish, worldly love says love is a feeling (fleeting), not a selfless act.  In truth, love is a decision/choice to act.

We Get To Love…

God gave, and gave so freely (John 3:16).

What happens when Romeo is on the horizon and you have lived in your head for so long watching “your script,” that the frames of reality don’t match up with the projection you see?

Here your moment finally shines TO BE, but you blind him with all your preconceived fanatics as to how love is supposed to be. 

That delectable fantasy where you’re expecting to be seen, to be embraced, to be swept literally off of your feet as you’re twirled about and kissed passionately being ever-so-desired is nowhere to be found!

That’s when he runs right past you without even as much as a hint of a raised eyebrow or the infamous nod saying, “What’s up?”

Hello!!!  Can I hear Rejection for our Protection?

The bulk of our sulk engages in a pity party for ONE!  No one is invited to be a part of our drunk and funk wrapped tightly around our gallon of Haagen-Dazs ice cream and Butterfinger shavings. That’s a Blizzard, baby!

Then regurgitated liquid pain announces its arrival between spilled over salty tears from chasers of Tequila (To-Kill-Ya) and the crime of the lime removing all blinders and resounding reminders of…

…we are loved more than we will ever know by Someone who died to know us (paraphrasing Romans 5:8).

I have hung a love lock or two in my lifetime, but only one remains. Knowing that someone was willing to die JUST TO KNOW ME, well, that is the one Who holds my heart key and where my heart is devoted. The One who will never LEAVE ME nor FORSAKE ME!

Blameless Locked Up Heart

Love is always flowing and always changing!

Love is an action.  It affords us with a choice.  Since it’s fluid, we get to make the decision to love and to receive.  Love is “TO BE” that love.  To be requires action with a decision.  We have the choice to act and to receive.

Dare…

To Be The Love!

When love is to be, love will never fail!  I dare you to LOVE!  Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy. Love is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its way and forgives (so hard!). Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends (1 Corinthians 13:1-8).

Have we romanticized love so much that we forgot love is an action and not a feeling?

Love is “To Be” that Love

When I start demanding I need to be loved, that is my trigger screaming I am lacking intimacy with my Lord. God designed us to be loved, but primarily by Him meeting our every need first.  

We are much better spouses, present and available friends when we know and walk in His Great Love. We’re less needy, selfish and demanding…

When You Need To Be Loved

I’m the first to admit that I’m needy for love; God’s love! I need to hide myself in my Lord’s Love often so my love tank can be full.

After all, like Augustine said, “God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.” Now, that’s the liquid courage and LOVE needed for every day!

Blameless Animated Heart

When I’m falling into the pits of depression, discouragement and doubt, I go to passages and pray them out loud… “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul” (Psalm 143:8).

Knowing I am loved by someone who died to know “just me,” what a shot of confidence and boost of courage to face each and every day.

We get to be loved!

 

 

Next time you need “To Be Loved,” be that love first!

Until next time…

Blameless Flower 6.6

I’m A Party Just Waiting To Happen…

phonto-31

I’m A Party Just Waiting To Happen!

All At Once I Came Alive…

Out of the shadows,

bound for the gallows

A dead man walking

till Love came calling.

Rise up!

Six feet under,

I thought it was over.

An answer to prayer,

the voice of a Savior…

Rise up!

All at once I came alive.

This beating heart, these open eyes.

The grave let go.

The darkness should have known,

You’re still rolling stones…”

 

I am my Beloved’s and He is more than mine!

My name is Tammy Ingram and I’m a party just waiting to happen!  Don’t believe me?  Come rejoice with me as we celebrate these truths through daily profession that are written in the Word of God about US (God’s chosen beloveds) and you’ll understand where my obnoxious optimism and joy comes from!

I’m a party just waiting to happen; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy waiting to pop (1 Peter 1:8)!  Angels rejoice over me (Luke 15:10) as the demons flee in pure terror (James 4:7).  Ha!  Top that off, the Lord God Almighty Himself dances over me as He serenades me with His Love (Zephaniah 3:17).  You see, I am chosen by God (John 15:16) and this beloved not only has favor with man and understanding, but F-A-V-O-R with the Lord God Almighty (Luke 2:52).  Hello! 

I mean, I am called His Work of Art, His Masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), after all.  Even before the creation of the world, I was planned and chosen (Ephesians 1:4).  I am always on my Lord’s mind and He thinks about me constantly (Psalms 139:17-18), which is probably why I’m considered the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8). 

And no, God is N-O-T thinking about putting me in a straitjacket either! 

I lack no good thing (Psalm 34:10) and I was predestined for success by none other than the Lord God Almighty Himself (Romans 8:28-30).  I am placed and seated with God, a royal priesthood, chosen by God as His very own.  My value comes from being the KING’S daughter with royal blood running through my veins, part of His chosen generation, peculiar people we are (1 Peter 2:9), and NOT from my own achievements.

Meditating on these TRUTHS should be a part of our daily regimen and dance (worship).  Talk about a confidence builder, knowing where to run for safety and refuge and where to pick up and receive this treasure trove reminding us of our worth and value being God’s pursued child.  Speaking and prophesying God’s promises over our lives so we DO NOT BELIEVE the LIES of the enemy that so easily entangle us!

And as my fav Lisa Bevere said, “God has a way of taking every bad choice, every misstep and redeeming it, not just for our future, but for the benefit of others.”

phonto-24

Look up, child!  God’s still rolling stones… 

You might start understanding where my joy comes from.  Stick around!  It won’t take long.  I can’t wait until you’re able to look into the mirror and see who God created: Beautiful You!

This is why I’ve decided to share and publish each week my commitment in reaching and teaching our amazing homeless beloveds this Bible study I’m writing called God’s Great Love Changes Everything!

Introducing the love of our Father through the magnificent works of the Holy Spirit’s transformation is simply believing and experiencing what the Bible says about us daily through application.  There’s so much love, contentment and healing to be experienced this side of heaven. 

Removing our veils of shame; acknowledging and believing who we were created to be is powerful; filled with joy, laughter and lots of celebratory dancing…

Celebrating Each Other

There’s no competition here.  This CEO considers the acronym CEO to mean Celebrating Each Other. 

I was once so tired trying to belong and fit in and be accepted anywhere and everywhere with whomever, I resolved to suicidal tendencies, even driving off a 350-foot cliff.  Nothing short of miraculous being alive today!  Trying to perform and conform to society’s standards just to be loved and accepted is exhausting, isn’t it?

This might help shed light on why I wrote Rejection Is Merely A Redirection last year.

We all just want to be loved, find where we fit in, you know, that place of belonging that says we’re enough just the way we are (beautiful enough, smart enough, sophisticated enough, loved enough), being seen and acknowledged that our lives do matter.  No judgment and/or condemnation here.  Blameless’ motto:  There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!

Just ask my grown sons who are 26 and 33; they’ll agree, I’m one crazy Grammy Tammy!

Blameless Mama's Boys

Your life is a party waiting to happen!  We’re all in this together.  Nothing would make me happier than hearing you tap into these truths while living them out.  One blossoming, confident beloved!

If you follow us each week with your Bible, you’ll experience through laughter, sometimes even raw and candid vulnerability, transformation ushering in celebration as these truths become part of your own makeup.

phonto-25

Until next time…

Thank You For Being…

Blameless A Beautiful You Event

Encountering Homelessness in 2019

Happy New Year!

2019 Is The Year Of The Voice

I struggled to get off the jam-packed freeway full of road rage and weary drivers that found themselves parked instead of moving forward.  Here it was 6:45 p.m. and I needed to get my life-sustaining heart meds before 7:00 because the pharmacy closed its steel doors at the strike of the 7:00 hour and would be closed for the next two days. 

Once I got off the freeway, there was no way possible to maneuver over four lanes in enough time to turn into the pharmacy’s parking lot so I was forced to travel another bumper-to-bumper half-mile to perform a U-turn.  Amazingly, the light connected with my anxiety and turned green, rushing me into the parking lot with just a few minutes spare to run in and get my prescriptions. 

As I leaped out of my car, I was stopped, even bullied and challenged by an unknown homeless man who was adamant that I give him a couple of bucks. 

You see, in my city, the City of Roseville, I refuse to put up with panhandling.  It’s a distraction.  It initiates fear and crime and there’s ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR IT! 

I have even been known to stop in the middle of an intersection to get them to move on.  It’s not that I lack compassion; after all, I run a homeless organization, but it’s just that we have many resources available and their panhandling is an excuse and becomes an eyesore.

I work hard to help guide and direct them to get tapped into alternative resources and get off the streets. 

It’s hard for reality to prevail over guilt!

When encountering panhandlers, I instinctively stop what I’m doing and give them the lowdown of who I am, how and why I run an organization catered specifically to helping love on the homeless, and if they are hungry, I will buy them food.  I then pray over them, give them my business card, and tell them that if I come back in the next hour and still see them panhandling, I will have them arrested. 

You might find that harsh given my heart pours out the love of Jesus into these individuals daily, but if the services we offer don’t suffice, then it’s obvious they’re only looking for a quick fix related to drugs and/or alcohol.

This man was the FIRST AND ONLY HOMELESS individual who didn’t pack up and leave.  Sadly, he felt his fear tactics and threats to kill would influence me otherwise. 

I challenged him with his futile threats to go ahead (not the brightest move admittedly), but I’m ready to meet my savior, Jesus Christ, at any time so it didn’t really matter.

phonto-6

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is praying that 2019 initiates a new attitude and compassion for stabilization regarding our homeless epidemic. 

Being the founder of Blameless, I want to be very honest here.  In working to stabilize our homelessness through God’s Great Love, I humbly admit I get frustrated and quite offended when I encounter panhandlers.  Giving them “money” is defeating our arduous work!  It’s much easier to trigger sympathy than to seek help.

Mental illness is the main precursor of homelessness; addiction, depression, psychosis, abuse, rejection, and abandonment issues are the leading causes, but a lot of homelessness has to do with shame and guilt and the need for guidance to get reestablished back into society. 

I don’t like seeing the makeup of my town changing because homelessness is out of control, and everywhere you look they’re either lined up around our stores or in parking lots panhandling or passed out in our parks while depleting our fire and law enforcement resources.

Blameless Homeless Rite-Aid

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Please don’t encourage Panhandling!

There are many ways you can help and we need a village of people to come together and help combat this Goliath.  Please don’t encourage panhandling by offering money; but instead, as you encounter homeless beloveds, acknowledge their presence with eye contact and a warm smile and maybe even say “good morning.”  Being affirmed builds worth and a sense of belonging.

You could offer to buy them a sandwich or burger along with a milk.  A used bike and metal cart is invaluable. 

Another idea is sharing you are tight on money, but could they use laundromat tokens or clothing?  Share with them you’ll go home and be right back with a few things and/or buy tokens with laundry detergent. 

Better yet, donate to charitable nonprofits like Blameless that deal with homelessness.

Here is a glimpse of one homeless beloved who wanted to go to the laundromat for his birthday…

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I personally have found that the most significant treasure was asking if I could pray for them.  Praying over an individual offers hope and a sprinkling of love that someone actually acknowledges their presence and took the time to pray for them.

Being the hands and feet of God encourages the homeless that they’re seen and their lives matter.  This is the way our communities can come together along with the homeless and help find a remedy to stabilize and tackle this epidemic.

God is going to do mighty things in 2019 and tackling this homelessness is going to be one of them. 

Happy New Year!  May God be with you, keep you safe and bless your generosity.

 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

God’s Great Love Changes Everything!

Blameless Martin

God’s Great Love Changes Everything!

Love Offers Hope.  Hope Develops Confidence.  Confidence Leads To Action.  Action Results In Change!

Albert Einstein was onto something when he stated, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing!”

When we encounter homeless beloveds, our natural reaction generally triggers dismay along with blinders because it exposes the depth of our hearts.

Shallowness!

Ouch!  If you’re anything like I used to be, you become appalled when you encounter the homeless.  Do you discount them as losers?  Even refer to them as junkies and beggars with mental illness?  Or do you judge and group them together as lost souls who are polluting our rivers and streams and becoming public safety toxins?

Sadly, Einstein’s analogy is exactly how we, as a society, have been operating and dealing with the homeless.  We need to facilitate an emergent change because this homeless epidemic is out of control and it’s birthing hate, division and war instead. 

Casting and shifting blame onto our overwhelmed governmental programs, lack of law enforcement implementation and nonprofit organizations scrambling to find needed finances to create shelters, carrying the full weight of society’s expectations in finding a remedy obviously has failed.  We need education and awareness of this process while becoming part of the front lines that are no match to this Goliath.

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries continues to become equally frustrated at the increasing numbers.  This nonprofit has found that incorporating God’s Great Love and treating the homeless as our own family with the addition of their “A Beautiful You” homeless events where outreach is geared towards providing nourishment spiritually, physically and emotionally is conquering this battlefield one life at a time, one day at a time.

Should we give up because society dictates a numbers game so responsibility is relinquished? 

Every life matters so one life saved is victory!

The founder of Blameless and Forever Free Ministries has spent the last year doing life with the homeless, getting to know the need underlying the needs, and is going to try as humbly as possible to share her raw, true feelings comparing the pain and shock from the loss of her own first husband succumbing to the death delivered from alcohol addiction, depression along with homelessness, to spending a Friday evening eating dinner and listening to the story of a working homeless man, to starting a charitable organization catered to the many facets of homelessness.

Homelessness hurts and effects everyone.  Whether you’re a family member, an ex-spouse, a child/parent, taxpayer, you name it, we’re all being effected one way or another.  We can no longer relinquish responsibility.

I pray that I can somehow share openly my past judgments with candor while offering awareness to just how long it takes to cut through the bureaucratic red tape to find governmental help along with the stigma that mental illness carries to a world who is just now being introduced to the painful consequences that has been swept underneath the rug for generations. 

I am going to start showcasing one homeless beloved a month so you might understand their story; how they get to where they are and why they still remain abandoned and rejected.  Shame is a hard outer shell to crack through, much less rehabilitate.

The man above is Martin.  Martin thought he was going to die homeless with his Stage 4 colon cancer.  Outreach offered me the ability to befriend Martin, engage in fellowship with him, along with introducing him to Christ. 

Martin’s lens had been clouded and tainted by life, pain delivered through tragedy and rejection, but once we got him reading glasses, a Bible, and a whole lot of love emulating our Beautiful Jesus, Martin soon realized his life mattered.  He didn’t need as much alcohol that once dictated every decision he made (liquid courage, NOT!!!).  He realized he belonged and is now living comfortably in Sacramento with his sister and family. 

Martin, I love you and miss you dearly.  Thank you for teaching me the simplicity in sharing that I’m not the only one who becomes giddy watching the twilight of the moon dance through the trees while howling like a wolf when the moon becomes full. 

Blameless Homeless Rite-Aid

My mission with Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is not to encounter the appalling picture above anymore encamped alongside of our grocery stores.  Not all homeless want help, including Martin’s friend passed out in the photo above, but roughly 40% of our homeless do. 

And with our amazing God and all the precious beloveds dedicated to being His hands and feet, contributing to the welfare and outpouring of God’s Great Love, rehabilitation is awakened, proving with God, all things are possible! 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

Be The Change You Wish…

 Be The Change You Wish…

…To See In The World!

I sigh heavily being disarmed in the face of accountability. Crocodile tears stream down my cheeks. It’s hard to prioritize during change. My frustrations are better kept under lock and key, similar to my writings called Leftovers of Love and Insecure-Gram. These are posts written in their most vulnerable and rawest state, but have been concealed due to judgment. One hundred and ninety-five of them to be exact, awaiting the final editing when courage arises.

When I get a thought that lingers in my mind and starts to torment, making me uncomfortable, the old me would go smoke a cigarette and have a cocktail to diffuse whatever was taunting me. Now I just open my Bible or laptop and start typing.

What pours out of my heart unhindered is liberating. Most of the time, it’s full of rawness and pain. This complete exposure is hard to share because it ushers in judgment and ridicule from others instead of support while being transparent.

Why do we do that?

I’m still shackled with remnants of the funky flu, along with a compromised immune system. Oh, I may smile energetically while praising my Lord because that is where my heart and life resides, but it does not mean behind that joyful exterior is no suffering.

The pain I encounter every step of the way resembles more of an electrifying jolt striking every joint, nerve and blood vessel in my body.

The words that flow from my mouth are no longer eloquent. They are often jumbled and make absolutely no sense. I may laugh nervously because I’m scared about losing my capability to engage and function with vitality like I am accustomed to.

Frustration makes me want to run, hide and cry! I attempt to shrug it off like it’s nothing, honestly. Mainly exhaustion. Here my body is shutting down and I do not know how to slow down and practice self-compassion. Frowning and drowning in my tears is not a solution here when others are suffering.

I’m just trying to be the change I wish to see in the world.

This can be a heavy burden at times, especially when you don’t feel good.

Please pray for me…

Where is all of this coming from?

I have this passionate pursuit to make a difference in our world called leaving a legacy of love.

With epidemics of war, homelessness and disease, how does one start utilizing their depleted time in being a part of the solution, especially when we’re not healthy?

Do I spend time watching TV, checking social media or serving real life human needs?

Hello…

I strive and thrive to be the hands and feet of God which makes me alive. That’s why I’m developing a nonprofit organization; to embrace God’s grace! Oftentimes this passion comes at a great cost and pain that I don’t share with the world.

Just because I don’t wail out relentless complaints does not mean I’m not hurting. It just means I’m applying that energy to making a difference and not focusing on my indiscretions and discouragements.

Blameless Homeless 2

My heart has been heavy since my beautiful girlfriend knocked on my door unexpectedly with concerns. Her beautiful care package was filled with goodies and her precious time was invaluable in sharing her heart regarding my overwhelmed schedule.

Respecting and valuing my beliefs that life is about bringing love to others, whether it’s through time, service and/or relationships, this kindness and generosity extended spills over into all of our relationships when they’re chaperoned by our words and actions.

What a beautiful legacy than to have a life characterized by love and kindness!

Her words stung when confronting me about prioritizing and obedience. Not wanting to admit I’m suffering and slowing down is only exacerbating matters. All because of pride, perfectionism and deep love.

She shared, “I have been watching you. I do not understand why a woman who is ailing continues to present herself to a world in such a relentless manner while suffering more than those she is trying to love on and care for.”

Why would anyone give up the comforts of an accomplished life in order to live, love and serve those who have been rejected?

Please forgive me for my shallowness and deceit in leading you to believe that I live a pain-free life. I never meant to present myself with imagery that was anything but brutally honest. It’s just called walking through each day with F-A-I-T-H, knowing God has my back and that this shall soon pass!

I get this emotional and spiritual charge out of helping and loving others, especially the homeless and rejected. Talk about rejuvenation through release.

May I share something?

This is just a glimpse of what we encounter. This is our reality…

Blameless Gigi 2.24.18

Let me introduce you to Gigi. Gigi is that beautiful heap of skin and bones consisting of 83 pounds laying underneath those two blankets in 27-degree weather. She’s literally laying on the freezing cold cement sidewalk in the worst possible area of Sacramento.

Once our worship music started, she came to life. Heaven opens those pearly gates once Stacia starts singing and we loudly proclaim God’s Love through time, engagement, comfort, food and prayers.

One life at a time…

Since Jesus refuses to relent, shouldn’t we?

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!