God’s Great Love Changes Everything!

Blameless Martin

God’s Great Love Changes Everything!

Love Offers Hope.  Hope Develops Confidence.  Confidence Leads To Action.  Action Results In Change!

Albert Einstein was onto something when he stated, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing!”

When we encounter homeless beloveds, our natural reaction generally triggers dismay along with blinders because it exposes the depth of our hearts.

Shallowness!

Ouch!  If you’re anything like I used to be, you become appalled when you encounter the homeless.  Do you discount them as losers?  Even refer to them as junkies and beggars with mental illness?  Or do you judge and group them together as lost souls who are polluting our rivers and streams and becoming public safety toxins?

Sadly, Einstein’s analogy is exactly how we, as a society, have been operating and dealing with the homeless.  We need to facilitate an emergent change because this homeless epidemic is out of control and it’s birthing hate, division and war instead. 

Casting and shifting blame onto our overwhelmed governmental programs, lack of law enforcement implementation and nonprofit organizations scrambling to find needed finances to create shelters, carrying the full weight of society’s expectations in finding a remedy obviously has failed.  We need education and awareness of this process while becoming part of the front lines that are no match to this Goliath.

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries continues to become equally frustrated at the increasing numbers.  This nonprofit has found that incorporating God’s Great Love and treating the homeless as our own family with the addition of their “A Beautiful You” homeless events where outreach is geared towards providing nourishment spiritually, physically and emotionally is conquering this battlefield one life at a time, one day at a time.

Should we give up because society dictates a numbers game so responsibility is relinquished? 

Every life matters so one life saved is victory!

The founder of Blameless and Forever Free Ministries has spent the last year doing life with the homeless, getting to know the need underlying the needs, and is going to try as humbly as possible to share her raw, true feelings comparing the pain and shock from the loss of her own first husband succumbing to the death delivered from alcohol addiction, depression along with homelessness, to spending a Friday evening eating dinner and listening to the story of a working homeless man, to starting a charitable organization catered to the many facets of homelessness.

Homelessness hurts and effects everyone.  Whether you’re a family member, an ex-spouse, a child/parent, taxpayer, you name it, we’re all being effected one way or another.  We can no longer relinquish responsibility.

I pray that I can somehow share openly my past judgments with candor while offering awareness to just how long it takes to cut through the bureaucratic red tape to find governmental help along with the stigma that mental illness carries to a world who is just now being introduced to the painful consequences that has been swept underneath the rug for generations. 

I am going to start showcasing one homeless beloved a month so you might understand their story; how they get to where they are and why they still remain abandoned and rejected.  Shame is a hard outer shell to crack through, much less rehabilitate.

The man above is Martin.  Martin thought he was going to die homeless with his Stage 4 colon cancer.  Outreach offered me the ability to befriend Martin, engage in fellowship with him, along with introducing him to Christ. 

Martin’s lens had been clouded and tainted by life, pain delivered through tragedy and rejection, but once we got him reading glasses, a Bible, and a whole lot of love emulating our Beautiful Jesus, Martin soon realized his life mattered.  He didn’t need as much alcohol that once dictated every decision he made (liquid courage, NOT!!!).  He realized he belonged and is now living comfortably in Sacramento with his sister and family. 

Martin, I love you and miss you dearly.  Thank you for teaching me the simplicity in sharing that I’m not the only one who becomes giddy watching the twilight of the moon dance through the trees while howling like a wolf when the moon becomes full. 

Blameless Homeless Rite-Aid

My mission with Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is not to encounter the appalling picture above anymore encamped alongside of our grocery stores.  Not all homeless want help, including Martin’s friend passed out in the photo above, but roughly 40% of our homeless do. 

And with our amazing God and all the precious beloveds dedicated to being His hands and feet, contributing to the welfare and outpouring of God’s Great Love, rehabilitation is awakened, proving with God, all things are possible! 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

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Help Me Find My Family

Blameless Gregory

Help Me Find My Family

Please share.  This is Gregory Garland and his birthday is Saturday, October 6.  He is nearing 70 years old and his last known address was in the Seattle, Washington area.  Those blue eyes radiate his kindness and hope without telling the real story of how he wants to go home and be with his children.  His children are located in Washington and Massachusetts and probably think he’s dead.  Their names are Cheri Lee Garland, Stephanie Harrera (spelling ?), Gregory J. Garland and Sean I. Garland.  If you know them, please contact Tammy Ingram or Blameless and Forever Free Ministries at blamelessandforeverfree@gmail.com or Facebook.

Gregory came to California for a hip replacement surgery.  Once he was released, he wanted his alcohol.  He is an alcoholic.  One thing led to another and he was attacked and beat up with all his possessions taken except for his walker.  This is how I met Gregory.  He was incoherent on the side of the road and I pulled over.  I had to stop traffic and summon paramedics.  He went back to the hospital.

Upon release, he had no driver’s license, no wallet, no cell phone, nothing but his walker.  I have run back into Gregory after looking for him for months and we need to find his family.  He stays to himself, like many homeless, and has exhausted all resources and feels this is just how he will die. 

Due to technology, can you remember your kids’ phone numbers?  I can’t and have felt hopeless at times and quite ignorant when my cell wasn’t readily available.  What most of you don’t know about the homeless is, a lot of resources are not available without a valid I.D.  They cannot even receive necessary resources like temporary shelters because they don’t have a valid I.D.  We cannot get Gregory a valid I.D. without a birth certificate.

Many homeless individuals suffer from this mandatory item; lack of I.D.  It is horrendous and quite a lengthy time-consuming process and expensive to get the necessary items that are needed for emergency support.  Plus, you need a valid mailing address to send this pertinent information to.  If you’re homeless, you don’t have a valid mailing address.

We will be ordering Gregory’s birth certificate and finish completing the forms on Thursday, but it will take weeks to have it sent to Blameless’ mailing address.  Then once we get it, we will have to go down to the DMV and order an I.D. card/driver’s license which will take a couple more weeks.  You get the idea here.  He is unable to receive his Social Security or any financial help.  He is suffering from a significant skin disease/lesions throughout his body now and needs medical help.

Please, this man is near and dear to me.  If we can find his family, I will do everything in my power to put him on a bus or an airplane to get him to his daughters in Washington, but I need to first find them and have hopes that they have his birth certificate or other documents to expedite travel.

Yes, this is a battle which keeps many homeless beloveds homeless.  I used to sit back and judge and get all pissy because some hotels were allowing the homeless to come into the lobby area and charge their cell phones.  I felt so violated and upset with the generous management of some hotels.  Woe to me for being Princess Tammy judging and thinking heinously because now here I am running a nonprofit organization that is trying to make a difference in the lives of those who have been rejected and are homeless for a sundry of reasons.

Please help me help Gregory Garland whose birthday is Saturday, October 6, in finding his family so his gentle spirit can live long enough to get home and see his family.  I’ve had to hunt him down.  He is not asking for anything, but I AM!  This will also remove one more homeless person off the streets.  One person at a time, one day at a time.  With God, all things are possible!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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When Our Messes Become Our Message…

Blameless Mess Becomes Our Message

When Our Messes Become Our Message…

Breaking Free Announces Me!

Coming from an experienced beloved who’s walked through her fair share of messes, when we go through great pain and trials, it seems easier to just stay bound and wrapped up in captivity, entangled around comforts of familiarity.

Being a prisoner of fear, it seems every step we take to break free, the paralyzing torment only enhances the strength of our cells of hell.

Traumatic attacks are hard to survive and heal from when our focus is solely based on being bailed out. That includes also the loss of failed expectations, physical pain, emotional scars, and even financial destruction.

Blameless Breaking Free 5

I was asked how I comfortably share the torments of abuse and the shame that lingers while breaking free from that controlling link.

Admittedly, there are times when I get overwhelmed reliving it because it feels like another beloved’s trauma. It’s empowering to share, though, because it’s a reminder how freedom has taken back the power of my voice that was once stilled and lost. 

I try to emphasize that there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name! There really is power in the name of Jesus when we release the blood stains caused from those fears of judgment and condemnation.

Maybe that’s why my heart burns with desire in being an advocate for those who have lost their voice because I get it. I’ve walked that path. I not only survived, but it made me courageous and confident enough to start a nonprofit organization helping others. 

Change requires a lifetime pursuit understanding and applying what 2 Corinthians 1:4-5 (MSG) talks about. God “comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”

Blameless Breaking Free Announces Me

Breaking Free Announces Me!

I met a beloved once at one of our W.E.A.V.E. support groups. I had only learned of W.E.A.V.E.’s existence after escaping exactly what the acronym defines:  Women Escaping A Violent Environment. I was not an advocate then. I was attending these meetings because I had found myself a victim of a creepy stalker.

Stalkers want what they cannot have…

Even though I had broken free from the chains of physical and emotional abuse, I was still imprisoned with identity and insecurity depravities that needed some fine tuning with the Lord’s direct intervention.

Our Beautiful Jesus brings healing to our lives usually one step at a time!

I’ve learned now to approach the testing of trials with more peace, confidence and clarity as my faith has deepened. Trials are now perceived as opportunities to learn tools that will help equip me with what might be brewing in the future; for example, hope, trust, peace, perseverance, patience, courage, you name it.

The development of my character became profound after I left my violent environment.  Kind of funny how God orchestrates situations at times. Here I had broken free from the cycles of abuse and the Lord introduces me to a woman who I would help break free from her own violent environment. 

 

Blameless Tired Of Being Told

God uses my mess and message to walk alongside of others who are tired of being told what they cannot be and live out who God created them to be.

Genesis 50:20 (NIV) perfectly announces to the enemy our authority claiming victory, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Pondering the power that Genesis 50:20 foretells will remind us that our trials are not meant to torment us or even keep us on our knees. They’re intended to launch us to a completely different atmosphere where we recognize our messes are our messages.

Keeping our messes to ourselves robs others of the blessings that our testimonies offer.

Our momentary troubles are not meant to be gone through alone, much less swept underneath the rug. They’re oftentimes meant to strengthen us.

Conflict births opportunities. It’s possible our tests have come because they’re going to be a part of our testimony.

God wants us alive and present, available to be His powerful and courageous vessels!

I’m going to be brave enough to try and seize every moment of my trials so I can learn wisdom that will help me get through the next mess quicker and stronger.

Max Lucado’s Declaration of Faith is worthy of being proclaimed:

I’ll get through this. 

It won’t be painless. 

It won’t be quick. 

But God will use this mess for good. 

I won’t be foolish or naive, but I won’t despair either. 

With God’s help, I will get through this.

~ Max Lucado ~

 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Just Because Beautiful You 1.1

Clothing Ourselves With Compassion and Human Kindness!

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Our World Needs Us Dressed and Ready To Bridge The Gap With Love and Human Kindness! 

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you are embracing this week realizing just how beautiful you are along with being blessed.  After all the tragedy that has developed around the world these past few months between the riots, terrorism attacks, earthquakes, raging fires and the destructive hurricanes, there are a lot of hurting and down-and-out beloveds that areBlameless Blossoms True Beauty Within suffering and in great need of some human kindness.  If we could only remember that living in peace blossoms the true beauty within, we would be reminded how important it is to get dressed daily in God’s Great Love.  It’s that time again, it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

Admittedly, last week I was full of woe and worry.  This week I am filled with gratitude and determination to make a difference in the lives of so many hurting beloveds.  I was fortunate enough to come through all of these natural disasters unscathed, but I have many friends who were on the receiving end to all of this destruction and were wiped out completely.

Where do you go or even start to clean up when the whereabouts of the front door to your home is nowhere to be found or it’s buried beneath six feet of water?  Talk about overwhelming.  Many don’t even know how to start cleaning up because of the emotional layers filled with turmoil, much less not having the necessary means to maintain sanitary conditions like clean and running potable water and electricity to make the environment habitable.

Colossians 3:12 reminds us to start each day as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothed with compassion and kindness, to name just a few.  The only way we can be dressed with compassion and kindness is to layer these virtues with His Great Love.  Love holds these virtues into place like glue.  When we let Love guide our life, the peace of Christ will rule in our tender hearts. 

So in order to eliminate the terrible duo of fear and loss, how about we work together in being kind and compassionate.  A few ways to promote compassion can be:

  1. Start with Yourself (focus on your strengths and positive qualities first).
  2. Communicate Verbally and Non-verbally (eye contact, body inward, and listen).
  3. Touch (a gentle touch goes a long way.  If appropriate, a hug or shoulder tap).
  4. Encourage Others (positive reinforcement and praise).
  5. Express Yourself (nodding, tears, laughter, and a sincere smile go a long way).
  6. Show Kindness (expecting nothing in return).
  7. Respect Privacy (no gossiping and respect personal space).
  8. Learn How To Advocate (speak up and defend others’ rights).
  9. Volunteer (help in cleanup, babysit, running errands, making phone calls).
  10. Consider your words carefully (think before you speak, empathize, a loving attitude).

Love Holds Compassion and Kindness In Place

Without love, none of this can be accomplished.  God’s kind of love is not a feeling, it’s an action that moves forward.  God’s Great Love is selfless, requiring to love whether we feel like it or not.  Where there’s anger, a sign of love is to show compassion.  Where there is malice, kindness shows the love that exists in our hearts. 

Let Love Guide Our Lives

Let’s start letting love guide our lives.  Laying down one’s life to act as a bridge so another beloved who is filled with fear can walk safely over to the other side is where the love is at.  That’s what Jesus would do and did for us.

Weekly challenge:  Let’s be proactive by getting and staying involved in the needs that are overwhelming other beloveds in our world today where we can step in and help with.  Whether we’re on the east coast or west coast, strong bridges can be built through love.  Whether it’s a small monetary donation, a prayer, a sincere smile, a listening ear, dropping off water and groceries, doing research or even someone who joyfully changes the atmosphere wherever they go by pouring out the Love that only us Beautiful Beloveds can radiate.  Together, one by one, piece by piece, we can make our world beautiful again!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Living With Addiction and Strongholds of Depression

Blameless Depression I'm Fine

Living With Addiction

Strongholds of Depression

Damage more than the Afflicted

Day 10 of 40

Today started like any other summer day before my senior year in high school; I took a shower, smoked a joint and cigarette and headed down to the beach to surf and sunbathe.  Today was special, though; there was a new boy in town named Scott and tonight was Pablo Cruz’s concert at the Del Mar Fairgrounds.  Scott had the hots for me and said he would meet me down at the concert after work.

I scurried about in order to catch a ride on the morning surf and soak up as many sun rays possible needed to obtain that “been-at-the-beach-all-day look” with the peeling red nose and face to contrast and compliment my long, blonde hair!  That’s what looked hot and defined us surfer chicks!

Today held the promise of hope and love.  After my longstanding feelings of rejection and abandonment with my family, the constant jeers of being laughed at and not fitting in, coupled with bouts of depression unattended to for a couple of years and the breakup of a long-term boyfriend; there were glimpses of sunshine peeking through the dark clouds from a dreamy boy who was way out of my league. 

Scott had curly brown hair, green eyes, around 21, and even had surfboard racks on top of his BMW.  He said I was hot!  He made my heart palpitate.  My heart was beating again and I felt alive.  I couldn’t wait to receive more of his CPR.

After the beach, I showered with intention and detail to look beautiful in my size 3 Jordache jeans that were long enough to compliment my 5’11” frame and wear cowboy boots.  I looked hot, just like a supermodel!  I jumped into my V.W. Bug feeling beautiful and picked up a couple of girlfriends and headed down to the fairgrounds.  We drank some beer and smoked a few joints before we entered the concert. 

Upon arrival at the concert, we were fortunate enough to get escorted and seated in Row 3 right smack at center stage.  Every band wants a group of screaming teenage girls upfront.  The whole time we were talking and laughing, my mind became fixated on the whereabouts of Scott and it interfered with my ability to have fun engaging with my girlfriends.  The concert was getting jammed packed full of concertgoers and still no Scott.

The feelings of not being pretty enough and good enough was the perfect environment for the brooding of the storm.  Each emotional dagger of rejection were all consuming, turning the gusts of shame and walls of torment into deafening sounds diffusing the emergency warning system of the impending tornado.  Being tossed to and fro in the quiet eye of the tornado left no time to hear or acknowledge the warning sounds that this storm was about to implode even though it was louder than thousands of screaming cheers as the concert began. 

I started looking at everyone in the concert smiling, singing and dancing, the band focusing directly on us girls upfront, and I felt a sense of loss and gloom.  It wasn’t the spin of the tornado that was making me sick, it was because I felt alone in this crowd and no one could hear my screams for help and panic.  I didn’t belong and I didn’t fit in and I was scared to death.  My mind kept focusing on trying to find Scott in the chaos because my heart needed help. 

Once the concert was over, we headed over to the restroom.  I took one look at myself in the mirror and became horrified.  Between the sweat and oil from the heat of the lights and stage, the profusion of sweat from being one sardine amongst a compressed can, I looked horrible.  I no longer resembled the perfection of the model I put on beforehand.

The beads of sweat bonded my hair like glue instead of free-flowing locks that could be flicked back and forth; my black mascara resembled more of a tarantula instead of highlighting my green eyes; my peeling red and flaky white nose resembled my white eyebrows stuck to my burned forehead.  No wonder Scott stood me up.  I felt ugly and not worthy of love.  I had to get out of there.  I couldn’t let anyone see me like this and I needed to hide.

I told my friends that I wasn’t feeling good, so we needed to go home.  Everyone was laughing.  They wanted to stay and continue to have fun.  They didn’t look gross like me, so they stayed.  I walked to my car alone.  I felt ashamed because everyone was laughing in large groups and I was alone running to hide.  I felt unworthy because of my appearance.  Why do we place so much significance on our looks?

I got into my Volkswagen and headed home.  I cried the whole way home, but no one was there when I arrived.  All the thoughts, emotional daggers and flaming arrows that were penetrating my heart and controlling my mind became desperate. 

I drove to my favorite spot, Swami’s Beach, and circled the parking lot a couple of times after finding no one to love on me and snapped.  Before I knew it, I was driving through the protective barrier and wall built with steel beams and bars free-flying through the air bouncing off the rocks landing onto the ocean floor.  All I remember is seeing a bright light with my life flashing before me.

I wanted out of my cell of hell.  People with depression who don’t receive help can get this low.  There’s nothing to be ashamed about.  I was screaming “help me,” but I could not find a solution to ease the pain except for this final attempted suicide.  Thank you, Jesus!

Stairs+at+Swami+Beach+San+Diego

This is Swami’s Beach.  Beautiful, isn’t it?  Hard to really gauge the cliff’s height, but I believe it’s a little over 350 feet.  I wrote this from what I can remember as to what set me over the edge, so to speak, 37 years ago.  I want to share that I have been completely healed by God’s Divine grace and mercy of depression many years ago.  Today I’m living in freedom and flying free of yesterday’s guilt, today’s fears, and tomorrow’s grave.  All because God loves me just the way I am!! 

 

There is hope for everyone suffering with depression; please just don’t let it get as far as I did!  This was my drug of choice, depression, living with addiction and the generational strongholds.

Until next time…

Save

Courage To Be Still

blameless-philippians-4-13

Courage To Be Still

Are you anything like me, it takes more than courage to be still?  What does that look like anyways and why on earth would I want to be still with all the demands clamoring for my attention?  Here I’m exhausted with a whole house to pack, still have “the” home to find, along with numerous state and federal filings for Blameless’ nonprofit status and I’m told to be still?

I am sitting here needing me some cheese to go along with all this whining as I vomit to the Lord all of my frustrations and how He needs to get real with His expectations; that how dare He tell me to sit and be still with all of this going on!  Attitude at its finest!  I’m so grateful we serve a good, good Father because what is coming out of my potty mouth right now isn’t exactly worthy to pen, but it’s the truth in how I’m feeling!  Frustration with a capital F!  Oh, and because He’s such a good, good Father, He lets me throw my Tammy Tantrums and loves me just the way I am!

Sit and write?  I don’t want to.  I don’t have a brain.  Why would I want to write?  All I would write about is how all these spinal injuries make it hard to type with my neck propped, brace and all; and sitting doesn’t exactly take the pain off the old back injuries.  It seems my cages and rods do nothing but sever my nerves these days.  But I can walk and move, sometimes even gracefully (in my dreams anyways!), so I am grateful for that.  There are times when I want to dance and move about like I used to, but all that does is makes me bitter and hilarious to watch.  Pain is a part of my journey. 

The Lord shared with me back in 2003 or so that I would live with chronic pain until He took me home to be with Him for eternity.  He even called it my thorn in the flesh that would keep me humbled that Paul so eloquently shares in describing his weakness in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.  I had just finished my two-year rehabilitation from a serious life-altering car accident that forever changed my life, but since I could finally walk to my mailbox that was located at the end of my driveway, I was elated with the progress.  At that time the pain was tolerable, but I had no idea subsequent accidents would cause more pain and damage. 

The simple things in life, really; learning how to walk down your driveway to retrieve the daily mail.  Just a simple feat and one WE ALL take for granted!  I know I did, and I still do at times.  Here I’ve done too much, things I’m not supposed to do, especially given my couple-pound weight limit.  Since the Lord gives me daily grace and an outpouring of strength and vitality to persevere, I forget all I accomplish because I lack self-compassion on the hard days. 

You know those moments, when someone gives you the greatest compliment by saying they had no idea all the injuries that your body has sustained and the pain you live through constantly, that it reminds you of His constant mercy and humbling grace?  That’s HUGE PRAISES to my Lord because He alone has sustained me!

Tonight I took a brief moment to catch the sunset.  I am a sunset chaser and one of many reasons I love my home.  Until they built the new cancer center next door, I had an unobstructed view of every sunset.  I love how God magnificently paints a masterpiece most nights to remind us of another beautiful day lived this side of heaven. 

Kind of strange how we say we don’t have ten minutes to be still and watch God’s majestic radiance as he paints a portrait that would brighten up any life while pouring peace over our depleted souls.  Instead we manage to spend over thirty minutes spewing and infecting those surrounding us what ten minutes of gratitude and stillness through admiration could accomplish.

Wow, amazing how magically better I feel.  Oh, I am in pain, but hopefully me stopping now and being still with admiration will afford the Lord some healing time so tomorrow I can get up and continue once again.  For all my fellow chronic pain sufferers out there, my heartfelt prayers for healing and restoration are yours for the taking.  Receive the peace, alignment and strength to continue to fight the good fight as we run towards the finish line.  One thing I know for certain, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). 

If you would like prayer or would like to share a comment, please honor me with the prayer request below.  I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer.

Until next time…

Blameless Beautiful You 5

 

I am Broken, But not Forgotten!

Blameless Mirror 3

I am Broken,

But not Forgotten!

Blameless Broken Glass

I am broken!  I have a broken body, though not obvious to the critical and naked eye, that is encased within the remnants of this cold, broken, diseased body that is decaying away.  I have a broken and tarnished mind that oftentimes backfires, leaving me unconscious, while melting down without any forewarning.  I have a broken and bleeding heart, so raw from all the constant jeers and tattered affliction, I have no idea how much longer it will sustain itself.  I have a broken life that supports nothing but a hot mess and chaos that easily destroys everyone in its path, similar to the power coming from an F5 tornado.  I have broken relationships so shattered, they’re forcing my early demise due to the torturing and exhausting attempts at reconciliation.  I am broken!!!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall,

How do I again Enthrall?

Once so Lovely and Often told Bubbly,

Where were you during the Fall?

The image of the reflection before you haunts and tortures your exhausted mind as you take yet another closeup look at what life and brokenness has done to the innocent girl Blameless Mirror Frightlooking back at you.  Right before the weakened heart’s palpitations drop you to the floor, this broken girl hears a gentle voice of loving reassurance proclaiming, “I Am Who I Am” (Exodus 3:14)!  I have promised you restoration so never forget that “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.  Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill” (Numbers 23:19). “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).  Wow, what Great Love is that?

God lovingly reassures me to not give up by saying, “Have I not promised you restoration to all things your obedience cost you?  Get up, Beautiful Beloved of mine, and walk by faith towards that restoration that you have been trusting and clinging to each and every day of your difficult journey!  Welcome to the Promised Land.  You almost gave up, but when you heard my voice remind you, `…Though it linger (tarry), wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay’ (Habakkuk 2:3), you held on.”

My heart ponders…

If I am indeed a Beautiful Beloved of the

Kingdom of God,

and I survived what I thought would kill me, doesn’t that mean I should put my crown back on, stand tall, and move forward with the confidence that exudes a

Queen?

Hmmm…  Hello…  If that doesn’t swell up your head enough causing you to move (pull and drift) upwards and forward, then I doubt anything would ♥♥).

Blameless Crown 7

Restoration!!!

Life is hard, and right now my life is brutally hard and challenging between the plundering from another life-and-death battleground and the unique balance to support the spiritual, emotional, financial and physical needs of others!  How do we hang on and not get buried alive, you know, through the enemy’s flaming arrows, the emotional darts, and the affliction that the enemy relentlessly extends while feeling loved by God?

I know life’s brutally hard.  With any battleground we face, when it comes to your own child, this one is hard to let go of the control element.  I know this one all too well because my own baby boy (adult son) is battling the disabling and debilitating and demeaning disease of epilepsy as a grown man with a family of his own to raise and support.  This mama’s heart is so broken and scared and so filled with fear and grief of the unknown, this one could take me down.  Cancer won’t and didn’t along with the worst of the violations that life could throw at one person; but the life of a son, or the torture thereof, has me having to live out my faith while trusting on the One who is loving, caring, and is the author and perfecter of my son’s life.  I am clinging to all of Jeremiah 33; the book of God’s promises of restoration. 

I know many of us mamas and grandmas out there are raising or living a life constantly on our knees for our children due to salvation, bad decisions, disease, delinquency, drugs, you name it, or even the Prodigal Son Syndrome (that’s me ).  This mama knows what it’s like to feel inadequate; that you messed up in some way, and that everything that is remotely wrong or challenging in your children’s life is your fault.  I do not care how old they get!  But you know what, as hard as it is for me to fully believe and hang onto the Lord at times (being honest here ), I am hanging on to Psalm 112:7-8 and Psalm 126 because my heart is secure and steadfast on the Lord, having no fear of bad news (yeah, right ) and I know the tears I have sowed as I go out weeping will return with songs of joy.

Want even more encouraging and sustaining news, read about the amazing story of Lazarus found in John 11.  This is perfect for all of us who believe God is taking too long to heal or doesn’t care.  This mama is clinging to John 11:4 which says, “…Jesus said, This sickness will not end in death.  No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”  ♥♥♥

Blameless Matthew 5.16 1 Life can be crippling and fear paralyzing, and some things in life happen that we will never understand this side of heaven; but because of our great faith in the Love that surpasses all knowledge (Ephesians 3:19 and Philippians 4:7), we are able to combat and hang onto the Lord while pressing towards the victory that we know belongs to us; or my son in this case, his precious family, and my precious granddaughter, Princess Ella, the heir to the Ingram throne!  And since she has her Grammy Tammy’s sass and spunk, she needs to know and understand the miracles that God can perform and how His love manifests itself throughout life and others!  God’s love surpasses all knowledge.

A lot of us are grieving and walking through hard, even torturing, losses right now.  Having faith and trust in God not only strengthens and sustains us during our losses and tragedies, but His Love enables us to live the life that He designed; living lives that are peaceful and self-controlled; not freaking out through stress, exhaustion, violence, venting our frustrations and anger onto others, or picking up other vices to calm our scared and hurting hearts.  That’s called Love, the “glue” found in 1 John 4:7-21.

Until next time…

Thank you for being Beautiful You!

Blameless Mirror 2.1

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