Tag Archives: #violence

I Cried When I Was Denied…

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I Cried When I Was Denied…

But I Never Died!

The morning coffee buzz from being drunk on too much caffeine, along with the clanging plates from the waitresses rushing to cater to every need, drowned out the sobering convulsions conveyed from the beaten and burned beloved.

From rejected to accepted!

Cigarette burns and bruises to any part of your body is considered torture and abusive!

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Somebody is always listening…

If truth be told, I prefer my morning brew in the comforts of my own home, preferably in bed, along with my morning devotional time spent at my Lord’s feet opening up my Bible.  The sounds from Mr. Owl chiming in with his whoot-whoots as the orchestra of frogs rib-bit out a beat or two in sync with the birds’ melody who excitedly embrace their new day is more than a welcomed sound.

Today was different, though!  Tuesdays we do a Bible study for the homeless beloveds that would like to know how to experience this great love affair trusting and waltzing with the Lord after being abused myself.  I am writing this Bible study called God’s Great Love Changes Everything specifically catered to our homeless! 

After only receiving a couple of RSVPs for tonight’s study and the constant complaints delivered from being cold due to the night’s rain, chocolate chip pancakes and hot coffee seemed to be the menu topic initiated in a community text message about where dinner would be.  This quickly ushered us into meeting at iHop for breakfast along with the Bible study in lieu of dinner. 

Dinners are a rare luxury for the homeless population and Blameless is one of the few organizations that offers hot dinners twice a week.  Usually only breakfast and sack lunches are offered at shelters and churches, so I knew there was a great need behind this need for a breakfast meeting.

Blameless Need Behind Need

Between the noise, we settled in tight as the girls started peeling off their damp scarves and jackets to get warm.  I hadn’t noticed the bruises and lacerations on one beloved until she removed her many layers hiding more than emotional turmoil.  Once the injuries were in full view, I knew we needed intervention to figure out the best protocol to approach this behavior. 

Homeless women tend to be associated with domestic violence encounters because they’re used to living under the fight and flight mentality as a form of protection, no matter how distorted that may appear.  Having a buddy for comfort and protection helps fend off other violent attacks against the homeless along with assurances that their few bags of possessions will still be nearby when they awaken.  But the cost is often great!

This precious beloved shared how she just wanted to be held and comforted because she didn’t end up getting to talk to her son, who had promised to call her over the weekend.  This mama totally understands the love our children cover us with and the rejection that might follow. 

She shared how much she loved her son, but that she was so wrapped up tight living under her own veil of shame and living in the wrong hood (battlefield of the mind), that she just decided to pity party her own disappointment.

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If you’ve ever lived under the demands of abuse, you find yourself living, or surviving, under the confines of mental anguish.  Instead of seeing this pain as a process (a wake-up call to get out), you find it accepting as a permanent residence because you become isolated due to shame with no one to help you get up or out. 

You cried when you were denied, but since you never died, you become quite familiar and comfortable in the most horrid conditions.  When you live in darkness, being out in the light is frightening and quite startling.  Initially…

I shared with the girls how my pain turned into power when I realized that facing this Goliath of fear walking through it scared as hell was the only way to unlock the shackles.  The key was that it would take others to help pick me up each time I fell.  No more isolation. 

Taking baby steps ended the life being subjected to the multitude of abusers while living a life loved and yes, helping others.  That meant acting and living like who God says we are; His works of art! 

We cannot allow this process, being homeless and/or abused, to become our permanent spot.  Engaging in pity parties, having the mindset of a victim and denier, announces the need to break free from the toxicity of this environment. 

Yes, living a life filled with an outpouring of love and peace will be awkward and quite uncomfortable at first, but it will offer us freedom, along with our own tear-stained pillows and soft embrace from the protection and warmth that our own cozy blankets offer. 

I am choosing to honor my Lord by honoring the beloveds He has placed in my life.  I know the Lord will show me how to love others the way in which He loves me so that our faith will grow stronger and deeper in our hearts as we learn to trust in Him.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being

A Beautiful You Events

Becoming Love…

Animals Versus Human Beings,

Whose Life Is More Valuable?

An adorable puppy was found left on the side of a Sacramento freeway with his skull bashed in. It was clear he had been abused.

It made news headlines.

Tragically so… 

People were knocking each other out to contribute financially for his needed care!

What kind of monster would smash the head in of a two-month-old puppy with a hammer?

Then again, what sick person would take a military-style weapon into an elementary school and start taking their aggression and deep hurts out by shooting and killing innocent children?

When more value is placed on the Animal Kingdom than Mankind, we need to revisit our priorities!

Combing through all these tangles and snags of deception is brutal. We’ve obviously viewed these tragedies blinded while they laid dormant awaiting a spark to ignite the wick of mania explosion.

We need what only a miraculous Divine intervention can offer now.

Blameless Light Of Your Love

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God (Romans 15:7).

I thought we united as a society where all lives matter! Was that just a trend and it fizzled?

If we appreciate and celebrate each others’ lives, then why are our pocketbooks overflowing when it comes to injured animals, but we become bankrupt and blind when it’s regarding our forsaken homeless?

Thank God He never forsakes us…

If we are accepted and celebrated, why is man’s best friend more valuable than a beloved that God created and designed in His own image?

I love animals and love to rescue. It’s beautiful so many people had compassionate hearts and donated money to give life to this puppy. But why are our pocketbooks or belongings sealed up tight when donations are solicited for homelessness?

Homeless people should be considered more valuable than a puppy. Homeless beloveds have the same needs as puppies; they need love, nurturing, guidance and patience to learn behaviors that will equip them with tools to make better decisions. 

I know what it’s like to be rejected and orphaned by those who were supposed to nurture, love and protect while providing a loving environment to learn and grow from.

When you’ve been abandoned, you often make decisions and choices that are not in the best interest of anyone. Bad choices follow you around like the plague, waiting to kill, steal and destroy.

Every single one of the drops of blood Jesus shed had a name written in it!

Jesus died for us, our sins, and was resurrected to eternal life so He could take hopeless situations and flood them with His Love and hope. Beautiful Jesus takes our many broken pieces and turns them into peace.

These precious and homeless souls need to be shepherded to Him for healing. Jesus Is the reason in every season and has Risen!

As Vironika Tugaleva states, “I can’t change you and you can’t change me, but together we can work to change the world.”

Inspiring just ONE person ALREADY changed the world.

We all need affirmations and validation that will tear down the cement barriers surrounding our tattered and bleeding hearts in need of Jesus’ healing. 

Changed lives change Cities!

Since the depth of our past reveals the height of our future (thank God I’m almost six feet tall), are our heads too far up our pasts to see that we are putting more value on animals than mankind?

God’s love is not based on performance. Jesus became Love. Before Jesus ever performed any miracle, He had the validation of God’s love speaking from Heaven saying, “This is my Son, whom I love…” (Matthew 17:5).

God does not validate like we do. We validate based on what people do for us and how they make us feel. If our actions validate and bring value to what that individual needs, they in turn love. God validates based on relationship and that relationship requires intimacy.

Every single one of those drops of Jesus’ blood shed on the cross was for me and for you. Each drop had our names on them.

We can be 100% certain, even if we don’t have any further direction for our lives, that being and becoming LOVE is always God’s will for us. Giving love away is easy, but it requires action. The only thing it costs is ourselves, our time and action.

That includes when there’s traffic…

When we’re waiting in long lines…

When the doctor is an hour behind…

When our in-loves (in-laws) are moving in…

When we feel we’re accepted and loved, our self-esteem and confidence is boosted and it helps us make better choices and decisions. We start trusting others. And where Love radiates, our Beautiful Jesus heals.

I know this personally, because though my father and mother abandoned me, the Lord received me graciously (Psalm 27:10) with new life.

 

Blameless Jesus on Cross

It’s amazing what His Love does for us. The alchemy of transformation is nothing short of miraculous!

When Good Friday comes upon us and Easter, let’s be awakened to the beauty that every tear and drop of blood Jesus shed suffering His unconscionable crucifixion on the Cross had a name written in it as He Became Love Himself.

I don’t know about you, but my name was in one of those bloody droplets along with many homeless people’s names. Now that’s Love!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

She Sat All Alone…

Blameless Belong All Alone

…Hiding Behind A Facade She Could No Longer Wear!

She sat all alone with her long brown hair covering her face. At first, it appeared as if she might be praying. But after a few minutes, the presence of her motionless body became awkward. I decided to break through the intensity of the silence by walking up to her and gently touching her hand.

After cutting through the tension, I softly spoke whereas not to scare her. Victims easily startle. “Excuse me, my name is Tammy,” I offered, as I reached out for her hand. That’s when her beautiful tear-stained blue eyes met up with mine. She wasn’t praying, she was hiding behind the facade that she could no longer wear and did not know how to react, much less breathe. 

Fear vs. Freedom

As we began to talk, I quickly gathered this beautiful heart was encountering the fight of her life: Fear vs. Freedom! I remember my own exact moment where my bloody screams for help were not met, nor my pleas to find someone, anyone, to listen to my voice and believe my story as a victim of violence.

My emotions were wrapped up so tightly, the moment anyone even brushed by my person, the unraveling would begin. The power that came from the turbulence unraveling knocked everyone down in its path.

Is that why no one would help? Possibly. Or was it because people were too afraid to get involved in the exposure underlining my veil of shame?

Two Minutes To Spare

My new friend had no idea that as she vomited out her fears, assaults and desperation right before me, God had already put into place a legal team and safe refuge. Talk about provision! You see, as she was freaking out, God already had all of us into place. Each person brought their own tools of grace and experience. No surprises here!

From the initial contact stemming from a friend about a friend of a friend, the next 37 hours would already be laid out with the right people, provision and plan of attack until the last tear dropped.

With two minutes to spare, this beloved’s greatest needs were being met with Love, kindness, and compassion that only victims of heinous crimes would understand. God knew and that’s why He divinely orchestrated all of us together.

Even if we would have had the time to meticulously and carefully plan everything accordingly to fit into place, including traffic from one courthouse to another, documentation preparation, legal team, court appearances, services conducted at the jail, and medical attention, it would have been chaos and met with resistance.

As I sat there nibbling, even chewing, on some of the words flying off the pages of the legal documents, hearing stories of tragedy and heartache from lost souls who have lost their power to fight and plow through to freedom was all too familiar and chilling.

Offering an extending hand to try and console victims with protection and guidance requires more than a big box of tissues and patience because with their issues, they are so emotionally spent and beat up, it’s hard to stop the blood from pouring out. They have cried so much, their tears are no longer clear. They are blood red.

For these violated beloveds, all they want is for their voice to be heard whether it’s appropriate or not. Now that they know they’re being heard, it’s hard for them to stay on point and quiet down. Someone cares. Someone listens. Someone hears. Someone believes. Someone supports. Someone understands.

Someone sticks around long enough to pour love into the torture and remove the handcuffs that have bound and held them captive.

Now there is eye contact that comforts instead of shames. Life that is loved and not harmed. New world filled with hope. Justice prevails. Healing begins. Lives restored. New life begins.

God’s Orchestration Is Always Perfect

Being at the end of our rope does not mean all hope is lost. We’re never lost to God, EVER!  We may move away from Him, but He is right there alongside of us. How else would a random stranger whom you’ve never met before be available for you right at this precise moment, an emergency one to boot, who could help you conquer these mounting legal issues along with comfort and understanding?

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When You’re At The End Of The Rope, Look Up.  God Is At The End With Hope!

Isn’t it funny how we may feel at the end of the rope, but when we look up, God is standing there at the end with hope? God’s Love and intervention never fails.

With two minutes to spare, we both looked at each other and smiled and laughed. God took care of the whole traumatic mess. Every “i” was dotted and every “t” was crossed. Not only did we share tears, lives, and bread, but we were blessed with new friendships. We now share a ray of light and hope in each other’s lives as we came together as a team and watched God show off amazingly all because God loves to give!

Talk About Provision and Protection!

Blameless Rainbow That Keeps Giving

I have been refined through many trials of suffering. Now I get to marvel and see how God has transformed my own life through the reflection of the beloveds God puts in my life to help bridge the gap between women escaping a violent environment and being assaulted to Beautiful Beloveds living in peace and freedom. When those shackles are removed, there is power knowing their voices will continue to be heard!

We all can be richly blessed in helping others when we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced and our lives to be interrupted with two minutes to spare.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!