Monthly Archives: February 2015

Transformation through Application, Beautiful Be-Loved You! 2 Cor. 3:18

Thank you for being you, Beautiful Beloved!

To the many beautiful girlfriends who have ever crossed my path, whether endearing or painful, you have taught me so much that I am eternally grateful for!  This week’s blog is written through a grateful heart as I live out my faith in practicing what I preach because, one, I am celebrating the life God designed me to live out which requires the blessings of solitude incorporated with lots of girlfriend time in nurturing the new friendships and visiting the old ones; and also, if you didn’t catch this week’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays Blameless refreshedabout being still before the Lord and loving on ourselves, I encourage you to read the short blessing that this week’s post encourages because it’s all about taking care of US.  Click here.

Since I am in the process of trying to be still myself from the usual crazy schedule filled with all the demands and the many responsibilities, I’m going to embrace and cherish every moment of these brief reminders to remove the dross, the impurities that life and distance from the Lord starts to develop (Proverbs 25:4). 

I am making life-altering decisions right now and I don’t want the influencers of stress or lack of time in prayer and meditation to effect the decisions I am about to make.  This requires nothing short of devoted prayer and meditation, and that means being still before the Lord (Psalm 46:10) that is accomplished only through prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6)!  I don’t know about you, but the “meditation” part I struggle with BIG TIME!!!

Blameless Prayer and MeditationI was blessed to celebrate today with huge praises to the Lord in saving my girlfriend, “K,” you know that girlfriend that I scared the morphine out of, from having to undergo further treatment with her cancer battle.  She has allowed me to refer to her by her initial so you might relate to her on a different level. 

She shared her victory through many sorrows, many of which I can relate to. The one thing she made very clear was that many of her girlfriends she thought would be there were not; that she received such rejection, it felt as if she had the plague or something. And that others who she was too afraid to reach out to because of her own insecurities developed from the guilt and condemnation that came from others proved one thing:  We need each other. And when Blameless Jesus Reachingwe’re forced to be stripped down to offering nothing but our mere existence during our incredibly difficult and dark periods of pain is when God reaches down and offers His beautiful hand of love and strength through the support and care of others that will walk through the rest of our lives together.  

This bond will be incredibly difficult to sever and nurturing it is easy; this is true love and can be accomplished by others who see you through the eyes of Jesus! These friendships rejoice when others are being blessed and their prayers go unanswered. They love when it’s contrary to popular opinion. And these friendships hold up to the test of time by holding each other accountable for the sole purpose of love and encouragement.  We can receive and give back this love because we have experienced firsthand what it’s like to be loved and touched by the grace of God. 

I must admit, I am being stretched especially hard this upcoming month with making major decisions that are hard. My go-to is prayer and meditation, ballet, yoga, and walking in those brief moments of solitude with the Lord, along with intense prayer rituals with my beautiful girlfriends who care about my walk and who gaze at the nature of God with innocence and purity received through unveiled minds that complete surrender has developed. I can embrace these decisions with full confidence knowing I don’t have to control them and can claim victory through peace and gratitude like 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us:

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

Let’s embrace this next week with all the love and support that the Lord so graciously blesses us with, while we concentrate on ourselves and our lives being immersed in the Word. Let’s give Him have all the ugliness that surrounds our hearts so we have plenty of room to bless others with love!  It’s really not that hard when we know and love Jesus Christ!

Blameless Judge

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!


Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless Psalm 46.10 TTTTammy Tangent Tuesdays

Hello Beautiful Beloved!  This week’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays is dedicated and devoted just to you!!!  It’s time to embrace and cherish that Beautiful You!  It’s time to be still…….  Ooooooh, and how hard that is!

We’ve been working so hard on taking care of everyone else in the community, it’s time to take care of YOU and ONLY YOU this week! Blameless Bike Alone Do you value yourself enough to be still and know who God says He is (Psalm 46:10)? It’s time to make peace with yourself and quit putting yourself in places where God never intended you to be!  

This week’s challenge is to start off each day in prayer and meditation, giving praises to the Lord God Almighty, while allowing yourself time to be refreshed doing whatever it is that makes you happy; whether that’s taking a bubble bath, a bike ride, time with friends being silly and just connecting, or it’s time spent in all-deserving solitude;Blameless Friends 1 just DO IT!!!  You deserve it! Embrace this time to realize how special and important your life is! Be refreshed! Never forget how beautiful and cherished you are!

My prayer for you this week is that you will allow the Lord to refresh and renew your spirit; that inner beauty that you so graciously forget you possess!  Thank you for being BEAUTIFUL YOU!!!

Blameless refreshed

Do You See What I See?

What Do You Really See?

Do You See What I See?

Do you see what I see?  She’s beautiful, isn’t she?  This is a mere reflection of today’s contemporary woman; modern and chic, wearing all the current trends, showcasing her sophistication and style through vibrant colors and patterns.  She misses nothing; with her beautiful blonde locks highlighted with pink hues along with the subtle drapings of accented seashell jewelry weaved throughout, it is all neatly tucked underneath her wide-brim hat and matching rose-colored sunglasses.  I personally would love to see her sandals; but…….  This facade and appearance would attract anyone’s attention and sadly mirrors today’s typical woman which is why many of us can relate to and are drawn to her; but what about the distraction that she is covering up and what is being masqueraded over?

Blameless Rose Colored Glasses

Did anyone notice the apparent sadness coming from her gloomy and black-stained face beneath those rose-colored glasses?  It’s obvious she’s been crying for a great length of time due to the discoloration and permeation from her mascara, but there’s also redness and puffiness in her eyes.  She may look like she has it all together, but underneath that facade of perfection is today’s modern woman who has just spent some time battling and crying over hurts gripping her heart!  But why is she hiding under the masquerade of having it all together?  Is she too ashamed to admit she doesn’t have it all together?  Is society teaching us that we have to be perfect humans in an imperfect world?   How often do we go through life juggling the dozens of hats required in being a woman of today through the competing demands placed upon us by our families, careers, and our perfected appearance that we forget about the one essential ingredient in our beauty regime: Our relationship with Jesus Christ!

Blameless BibleI’m an imperfect woman trying to navigate through a world that demands perfection and screams denial no matter the cost!  I have been successful in many areas while I have failed at others.  The failures almost defeated me, especially through the ugly words of my harshest critics; but then when I realized I could claim confidence with authority throughout all the struggles while still holding onto my integrity and character did I find my Source of Strength.  That was achieved through the love and acceptance found in a relationship with Jesus Christ!

Blameless LoveThere’s a reason the Lord tells us in Matthew 6:33 and Luke 12:31 to “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” because God knows what we need daily (or for us high-maintenance women like me, minute by minute) for what our hearts are going through and how to better prepare the heart and mind for battling life.  This relationship, our beauty regime, will empower us with not only confidence and lasting love, but it will equip us with His thoughts and peace, remove and help us heal from that nasty latching viper that continues to suck us dry, and quickly align and adjust our attitudes and character that will be spilled over and into others that is reflected by and remembered throughout our lives forever in an unforgiving world; one that we will never be able to take back, you know, those ugly words spoken in rage and fits of anger and/or actions that will divide.  I’m the first to admit, I will and do forgive because I have been forgiven by my Lord, but I don’t forget and stay optimistically alert.  I do turn my cheek numerous times, but that does not give you the power to abuse me and walk all over me; just saying!  My forgiveness releases me from the ugly effects of bitterness, but enables my loving spirit to continue to love!  That is empowerment and freedom at its finest!

Blameless 1 Cor. 16.14Knowing God’s Word helps us to develop an understanding and peace that when others do hurt us, our hearts will be shielded by remembering it is just the other person’s own hurt and junk spewing out onto us and not to take it personally.  Sure, it will still hurt, but the effects won’t be as damaging because we know the Source to go to immediately to vomit the adverse effects and we will know the Truth in where our worth derives from.  This equips us with that protective helmet and breastplate armor protecting our hearts and minds that the Word announces in Ephesians 6:10-18, which deflects their ugliness so it won’t fester and permeate our hearts and turn us into bitter and uglier people than the person that harmed us to begin with.  Ooooooh, let me tell you, as hard as this may seem to conquer, if I can master this trait of self-control, anyone can!  Trust me, I have the genetic disposition to nail anyone to the cross with one eye closed, but I am learning daily the blessings of self-control!  Letting God have the vengeance has so many perks; especially peace and joy that would otherwise rob us of every blessing!  Plus, if you claim to be Godly, then act like it!  Stop gossiping and love more; act like you read and apply the Word to your life and not everybody else’s.  We are representatives of Jesus and we need to remember how we reflect that through our character and conduct!

Blameless HurtOftentimes, the hurt we’re burdened with is brought on by ourselves through the way we expected others to know what scenarios were going on in our own minds through lack of communication, or maybe even how we received the hurt from expectations not being fulfilled, or even the infamous and deadly effects of the women versus women syndrome, you know, that comparison we do when sizing up another woman due to our own insecurities and reflections (the viper attack of something latching on; give me a break and embarrassment to all women) which robs us of all value that was completely ours to begin with.  Woe to us for bringing on and allowing these ugly traits to strip us down to the bare truths of brokenness and despair.  It’s time to throw off these facades that so easily entangle us from what society expects and demands from us and be the women God so gently and lovingly tells us we are; His Beloveds, loved just the way we are!

screaming wordsThe only way to save ourselves from these harmful traits screaming in our ears by our own junk and from the enemy (he gets way too much credit for our own doing), is engaging in a relationship that is everlasting, free, and one that pursues us right where we are; one that will sustain and strengthen us with peace and love; one that requires our own dedication and responsibility to nurture and grow (can’t cast blame on anyone but yourself here); and that is, our daily relationship with the Lord.  This requires spending time opening up the Word and applying it daily to our lives (not just going to weekly church services); living and understanding what being pursued after is really like with the Mary concept of sitting at the feet of Jesus and being still (Luke 10:38-42).  We spend so much time and money on what we look like on the outside forgetting that beauty is fleeting and only skin deep (superficial, hello!), and that our permanent makeup and true beauty is found and derived from our worth and value that will never flee which is based upon the Truths found only in what the Word says.  Blameless BibleIt is not in how successful our careers are, how great our kids are, or how big our behinds look in the jeans (wish I had some of that bass) or the diamonds we wear or even how trendy and glamorous our clothes are with our matching shoes. I know a lot of beautiful and educated women, some who even say they love the Lord, but what comes from their mouths is anything but pretty, you know!

Blameless Trendy WomenI’m the first to admit that I love beautiful clothes with matching jewelry and fun and stylish shoes, so I guess that makes me trendy; but I have realized what good is all that when we’re depleted on the inside and hiding our hurts from the world?  Why can’t we just agree and admit that we’re all hot messes and none of us were meant to be perfect and we’re loved just the way we are?  The amount of money and valuable time we spend making ourselves “appear” perfect and have everything together in the world’s standards is futile and misleading, and it gives birth to sin that the world is condemning of Christians, giving the enemy full rein to a life filled with nothing but deception. Blameless Things Will Never ChangeWhen we have a right-standing relationship with God, He will change us through transformation, but that does cost us time and require commitment; time spent in the Word, time meditating and believing in the Truths, and time spent being absorbed and cleansed by the inside out. All of this requires being humble, transparent and honest with other believers to receive His blessings, encouragement and power (Ephesians 3:16-21) that make up the true church and that’s not only hard to do, but it requires complete surrender.  Sadly, I have seen too many people refuse the latter.

Blameless Hugging 3When we’re cleansed from the inside out, we are the beautiful, radiant lights that draw others near us and gives us a childlike perspective to receive and give that unconditional love. That’s where our beauty comes from, it comes from within. Jesus reconciled us to God so we would have the Word to teach us who God says we are: Beautiful Beloveds who are pursued, cherished and loved just the way we are!!!

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries

Let’s stop pretending we have it all together and just embrace our lives through the way we were created, together, without adding the additional burden of pretending to be somebody we’re not.  If we want to understand this Great Love, we can start by opening up our Bibles to 1 John 4.  Read the short book that reveals so much about God’s great love for us and His motivation for pursuit.  Pressing into God will not only clear your mind with peace, but it will allow Him to speak His purpose for your life and the pain and frustration you’re walking through, and you’ll be surprised to learn that it has a lot to do with unity throughout the community (Colossians 3:12-14).

Blameless MistakesThat trendy and sophisticated woman in the beginning that was hiding her true self behind the rose-colored glasses; well, that woman is me, or was me.  I still struggle with sharing my pain and hurts and this forum is challenging that stronghold, but since I know there’s nothing I can do to change the past, knowing I did the best I could with the tools I was equipped with each and every trial, it has developed and made me the strong and courageous woman I am today!  I have asked for forgiveness for my part in any problem that existed or still exists, I know I am forgiven through the grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ; it is then up to me to forgive myself and cease walking in shame that guilt and condemnation developed.  Forgiving ourselves is the hardest thing any woman can accomplish, it seems!  Lord knows, I have to remember this often, especially when I revisit hurts from over 30 years ago.  I’m not perfect, but I am striving to become a better woman, a better mother, a better daughter, sister and friend in Christ; that’s all that can be expected!  All I know is, I’m set free and it feels incredible to not be bound by all the shame and guilt that once directed my life.

One thing I pray you receive:  Embrace the Beautiful Beloved that you are!  Don’t be afraid to be who you are; you are pursued by the Most High, God Almighty!  Don’t be afraid to focus on the Light because that is what is nurturing and feeding you to shine and blossom into the Beautiful Beloved that you were designed and created to be; with every imperfection and flaw!  This is what sets us apart from the others!  When a beautiful rose blooms and joins the bunch to bring beauty, it doesn’t worry about what color or design its beauty is going to bring to the bunch or its blemishes and imperfections, it just naturally trusts and reaches toward its Sustainer and focuses on the warmth and love the Light offers.  It is so overwhelming, and that is why there is Divine beauty in the bunch! It takes a community of colors and shapes and sizes to bring out the beauty of the bunch!

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!The beauty of a rose; when it blooms, its natural reaction is to open up and share with creation the beauty that lies within; that includes every battle scar and imperfection because that’s how it was created!  It never worries about how fast the other roses are blooming or what color they may be or what they will look like; it only trusts by reaching out towards the Light and allowing the beauty of the bunch to emerge!

Never forget the development of the beauty of a rose:  When it blooms, its only natural reaction is to open up and share with creation the beauty that lies within; this blossoming of beauty includes every imperfection because that is how it was created and designed!  It never worries about how fast the other roses bloom or what color they are or what they will look like, it only reaches out towards the Light and allows the birthing of Pure Beauty to emerge!  Let it bloom, girlfriend!!!  Let’s focus on Whose we are and shed the layers of lies and condemnation and guilt we have constructed to cover up our imperfect lives.  Being honest with ourselves and our Creator is the only way to live, and when we embrace we’re all hot messes, the unraveling of beautiful women will give birth to a generation of Beautiful Beloveds who know they’re loved and they belong!

Will You Be My Valentine, Beloved!

Will You Be My

♥ Valentine, Be-loved! ♥

 Blameless Love 7

Hi Beautiful!  For many of us, Valentine’s Day can surface many emotions than just loneliness and despair; it can also trigger anger and bitterness that surfaces from the deep and hidden recesses of our hearts that have been buried due to losses occurring from unfulfilled “expectations” caused through the rejection in our relationships. That word “expectations” causes so much grief to begin with and it extinguishes the ability to love others for who they are and where they are at, but that will have to wait for another book I would like to write someday.  But when we read scripture such as Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart,” we wonder what one is supposed to do when that desire is a longing to feel loved, to be touched, and to truly embrace love the way God designed it! 

Blameless Love 3Oh, sister, I understand and know those pangs all too well myself.  Having been broken and devastated through the effects of encountering one husband in an adulterous affair with my best friend while another husband not embracing me AT ALL as his beloved wife through the channels of deceit, I can share sadly through experience what is happening all too often in today’s sanctified union of marriage between a husband and wife. Even though I may speak against divorce, having visited divorce myself and suffered the pain and scars from the ugly consequences, I will not turn my back on my sisters out there who are going through this “damaging pain” by sweeping it underneath the rug through the actions of outcast or by not supporting those through love and encouragement.  

Blameless Love 7I went through this pain as a daughter of the Most High alone because, for one, I was too embarrassed to share what was going on, much less seek Godly counsel because of everyone’s judgment and condemnation exhibited through their outward facades of being “perfect.”  It is our responsibility to help each other tap into the Source and Strength that lies there just waiting to be delved in to receive the guidance towards the resources that may help claim victory; if nothing else, uphold their self-worth and dignity as a woman!  We can never give up or turn our backs!   

Divorce might offer a temporary solution, but it is not a cure for all the deep and hidden hurts that lie within because of it.  This takes much prayer, time, and communication that requires other sisters to walk alongside of us for power and the strength to help us see things we otherwise might not have thought about.  That requires a humble heart!  The pain we go through is real, it is tangible, and it is such a real force with devastating effects within the body of Christ, it spews out and effects innocent bystanders while negating our fulfillment and our duty in supporting and encouraging each other. We need to talk about these issues because they are dividing the church and sharing with the world that “Christians” are hypocrites!  It makes the enemy very happy to see distressed and depleted Beloveds!

Blameless bucket_of_a_wellJesus had no problem talking to the Samaritan woman who was an outcast in society that He met at the well that was forced to wait and draw water during the hottest part of the day so she wouldn’t be subjected to the jeers from other women.  Talk about shame!  This was all due because she had been married five (5) times and was currently living with another man while not being married (John 4).  She obviously had more courage than I to have even tried marriage five times; so kudos for her tenacity at never giving up on love!  That’s repeated heartache over and over again, not to mention the heartache she received from the ugly comments from other women who should have been loving on her and walking alongside of her!  Jesus graciously offered her, though, something nobody else would offer her; that is, “time, affirmation, and love.”  This is what the body of Christ is supposed to emulate:  Jesus’ life through unconditional love, not slammed doors and shameful gossip!  If only we would love more and judge less, I wonder how many marriages would have survived or even less battle scars.

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries

Blameless and Forever Free Ministries

Come on, Sistas, Jesus did not come to reside with mankind just to save us from our sins so we could be reconciled to God, which is something I am so eternally grateful for, but He came to dwell with humanity so He could set an example for us to follow while experiencing firsthand the pain and emotions that develop through the battle scars of trials and tragedies that we all go through.  This was so He could relate and identify with us while loving us all at the same time.  Wow, God gave up so much just to have a relationship with us.  This is why God gave us the Bible.  Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection could never be explained to us if we did not have the Bible or believe in its contents.  We need to know the Truths about Jesus so we’re not only set free, but so we can start representing God the way Jesus commands us to: through love (1 John 3:16 and Galatians 5:1), while sharing with others what we’ve been through!  This is community, which is called the “church.”

Bible BlamelessThe Lord God Almighty gave us His Word, the Bible, which is the infallible and historical account written by men, yet inspired through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Since it is God’s special revelation to His children that consists of 66 incredible books filled with written authority announcing God’s plan and purpose for all of mankind, along with God’s attributes and how and why man was made in the image of God (Genesis 1), one cannot fully understand the Lord or His ways without studying the Bible and reading the beautifully written words of His love story to us.

Blameless LoveGod gave us the Bible to draw us in and near, so we would have something tangible to touch, to go to, to question, to seek, to read, to listen to, to be instructed, to apply, and to be guided through the written communication that overflows from the different people, the different personalities, and the different scenarios presented in the Bible. These books in the Bible are written for us to use as examples for help and shed light to how God engaged and dealt with His people when they were hurting by loving on them and healing them like the Samaritan woman or through examples of the effects of being disobedient through storms, plagues and even war. Through the many diverse topics and personalities in the Bible, it covers every imaginable affliction and personality type sharing how to live morally acceptable lives through God’s laws and how to deal with the ugly effects of hot topics such as gossip, divorce, or how to push through the pain of loneliness in being alone through patience and healing as we await for that love to arrive!

Blameless Things Will Never ChangeIn order to bravely receive healing during our waiting period with hurting hearts, we need to know the Word, apply the Word, and let our witness reflect what the Word says!  I challenge you to read and reflect on a couple of these passages of scripture this week:  John 13:27-38, which is about how God’s love can change your life’s outcome; 1 John 4:8-10, which touches on what motivates God’s love for us; and Ephesians 3:16-19 that really testifies how deep and wide the Lord’s love is.  We need to become better acquainted to what “love” really is and requires.  Love isn’t selfish and expects, it takes a lot of surrendering to love God’s way!

Blameless Love 8There is also a beautiful love story that is arrived at through the means of patience (1 Corinthians 13) and hard work all for the blessings of true love found between Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29.  This is a man we all would love to receive the lifetime companionship of.  He was a hard-working man who loved his woman so much, he not only was willing to work seven years just for her hand in marriage, but due to the betrayal of his father-in-law in complying with the customs of the day (what a man, betrayal from your in-laws and he still pursued her), he continued to work another seven years for payment in full for the love that all movies are made of.  But their marriage was not without problems, his betrayal marriage to Leah first who bore him several sons, and his beloved’s own conduct that reared its ugly head.  He worked a total of twenty-one years under his father-in-law’s control and he forever loved Rachel.  Need I say anymore!  You can read Jacob and Rachel’s love story found in Genesis 29 through 35.  

Blameless Love 3Jacob’s love was patient and while he waited, he worked.  He waited to embrace the love of the woman he desired, and seven years seemed like only days to him because he didn’t sit around and sulk!  That’s a man worth waiting for, right?  Take your heartache and embrace the fulfillment that only the Lord can give you.  He may be wanting a love affair with you first just so He can prepare you for the blessings of the love that you otherwise might have overlooked due to all the pain you’ve been through. 

Blameless Love 8Beloveds, I know what it’s like to desire the experiences of “earthly love” and want that “forever after,” but sometimes when we keep repeating the same cycles of abuse and betrayal, etc., maybe we need to realize that God is asking us to have a love affair with Him for a while so He can purge that deeply recessed hurt in our hearts caused by the actions of others and our own choices.  By allowing that “ugly” that needs healing itself to break the cycle that has consumed us and entangled us in this web of destruction for far too long is worth the love affair the Lord offers us.  This pain doesn’t just effect us, it spews out onto those that not only love us, but are innocent victims in all this mess and a byproduct of it.  God is offering us the freedom to experience what real love is if only we’ll put down our facades and come to Him humbly with a childlike heart to receive His healing grace and instructions for blessings that He desires to bestow upon each of His children.  This requires throwing out the “Control Freak” syndrome and all your preconceived “Expectations” and allowing God to refine and heal you.  God does not correct us or discipline us like the world does, He offers us love and encouragement through strength and endurance for the beautiful change and it’s up to us to apply this instruction ourselves to receive His healing graces.  Oh, how beautiful we truly are once we realize it!

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

I used to approach my struggles through shame, guilt and embarrassment because I didn’t want others to know I was hurting; a life lived of deception and lies!  Why was I so scared to be real and transparent about the afflictions that had ensnared me?  Pride! The evil of all sins!  We are to be real, announce our deep and dark secrets to Him through “real” Godly friendships so we can be covered through compassion and understanding that we all fall short of; but through the grace of God and His loving mercies, we can walk through our paths filled with pain with our head held high knowing we are loved and cherished by the Lord God Almighty and it will be through His stripes that we are not only healed (Isaiah 53:5), but by being real and transparent, which is honesty and not a lie, we will allow our healing to happen simultaneously while bringing comfort to those who are going through the same afflictions.  

screaming wordsGirlfriends, I hate to boast and brag on this pathetic acknowledgement, but I want to be that voice that screams in your ears telling you to keep cleaving and pressing into the Lord for victory!  Ha!  Yes, I get my point out through animated images!!!  Seriously, I’ve been through every imaginable affliction just about any person could go through and that’s sad, but I survived.  How?  I will only brag on the grace of God I received through the strength that enabled me to endure.  It was horrible and I never want to experience it again.  It’s time for me to dance!  But let me share with you why I’m so passionate about sharing.     

Let’s rally together and love on each other while we’re hurting; that’s what Jesus did.  I want to be held accountable for my actions when I fail through love because, for one, I’m only human and I will make mistakes; but two, how else am I going to learn if someone isn’t there to help pick me up when I fall; and I expect the same throughout my friendships and communities I partake in.  Life is short and we are here to help each other make it through the finish line, not just push us there or drag us there kicking and screaming.  

Blameless Love 7We are to love, to exhort, to encourage one another each and every day that we run this race while reminding each other of Jesus’ love.  Woe to us for judging, for being critical, for being anything but loving and supportive.  It is Valentine’s Day and there are plenty of us who will spend the day crying, spend the day daydreaming and fantasizing about our preconceived “expectations,” who will spend the day denying, in wishing we were loved, even spend the day in spite and anger all because of pain afflicted due to the evilness in the world and through our own expectations.  We can’t run and we can’t deny evil, it is real and it is running rampant; but what we can do is become the warriors and women for Christ that God admonishes us to become so we can help each other get through the various trials and tragedies that life throws at us.  

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

We will be surprised at the power received when two or more are gathered together praying for the will and blessings of God to be poured out of the storehouse and bestowed on us here and now (Matthew 18:19-20), and how quickly we become victorious because we reached out and became real and threw out that deception (you know, not hurting when we really are, which is sin); and embracing the real women with real hurts trying to hang on through the love and power of God that other Sistas share with us.  If you want to understand God’s love, just read Ephesians 3:17-19.  There’s no measurement to His love, and that’s why He wants us to share with others and not isolate.

ValentineThe only way we can navigate through this life is by knowing the Truths found in the Word of God and by applying these Truths to our lives.  If we leave God out of the equation, I’m sorry to inform you with Truths, but it’s going to be brutal and it’s not going to lead you to the victory you think should be applied to your life.  Not to mention how painful and long the suffering will be!


Bible Blameless

Open His Word; know His Word; let the Lord penetrate deep into those hurting recesses of your heart and let Him bring healing.  God is your source of Love and He is your Valentine.  Embrace Him; acknowledge Him; let Him in; He desires to occupy your hurting spaces and there is nothing to run or hide from, He knows everything.  He just wants you to acknowledge His love by allowing Him to reside in your heart!  Let Him bring healing; let Him occupy your hurting places so healing can begin.  It’s the most rewarding and empowerment you could ever imagine while living each and every day.  He wants you to have the desires of your heart, He put them there; hello!!!  He just might be bringing that special someone down the road, but you must be ready to embrace that kind of love that only He can give you!  Don’t push away His blessings or be afraid to pick them up like I have done for so many years.  He knows you by name, acknowledge Him and get to know Him through His loving Words He wrote just for you in His Holy Bible!  He loves you like no one else does!


God is asking you, “Beloved, will you accept this rose this Valentine’s Day and be Mine?  Will you accept MY rose?  I love you just the way you are!  Let me in and travel through this journey by accepting the free gift of true love I offer you with no hidden “expectations” or agenda except being loved just the way you are.”  I love you, my Beloved! Don’t you ever forget that!



Unity within our Communities

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays


Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

  Free Hug Day!

Happy Tuesday!  It’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays…….  I pray you’re enjoying these weekly challenges!  It’s paying off, more and more people are participating by reaching out and spreading the love across our communities that is pouring out all across the nation; so DON’T STOP, PLEASE!!!!

Hugging is a surefire way to promote

unity within our communities!

Blameless Hugging

We all know I’m a hugger, and people know that if they see me, they either need to beeline rather quickly or get ready to embrace and receive.  Why do I love to hug so much?  Not only is hugging a free outpouring of love and appreciation, but it makes us feel good and promotes so many positive physical and psychological benefits.


Blameless Hugging 5 Free Hugs

We need to start hugging more.  Why?  For one, they make us feel good; they are nature’s free STRESS reliever without any negative side effects; hugs can lower blood pressure and are even great medicine for the heart; hugs are also great for physical well-being, especially as we age. Everyone can benefit from receiving a hug so let’s pay it forward with free hugs!!!  


Blameless Hugging 4 Free Hugs

I totally understand that hugging strangers can be uncomfortable and socially awkward at times, but asking permission beforehand can bring the greatest blessings and rewards. That’s the art of communication!  I have never been denied from giving a hug once I asked for permission!  🙂

Free Hugs

Find seven (7) people, that perfect number, and start giving hugs.  It’s Valentine’s week and there’s a lot of lonely people out there that could really use the love right now.  Hugs are free and the positive side effects are endless.

Blameless Hugging 

In the upcoming weeks, our weekly challenge is going to require stepping outside of our comfort zones even further so this would be a great icebreaker to stretch you while blessing others!

Let the World See that Beautiful You!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, am I beautiful after all? That’s not what he said…

Blameless Mirror Mirror 1

I thought I was

beautiful until…….

As I pulled into the parking lot and caught a glimpse of his infatuation, I was drawn by the undeniable attention that his presence brought as I watched his silhouette disappear through the rear-view mirror.  As I quickly resorted to parking my vehicle, my heart’s palpitations drew my energies to seek out his mortal existence.  The mere excitement of locating him in my peripheral vision brought about such intense gratification and awakening that I leaped out of my vehicle with anticipation and expectation of encountering that “deep and satisfying love.”  Oh, how I yearned to be loved and acknowledged, especially after the vulnerability that existed from the loneliness of life’s tragedies.  Upon exiting my vehicle, his eyes searched for mine as we embraced visually, yet with such hypnotic power, the magnetic force brought me within feet of his existence.  

Normally this kind of attention provokes an acknowledgement worthy of either a smile, a courteous decline with a hair flick of attitude declaring “not in this lifetime,” or a hint of playful, yet respectful, flirting indicating he’s “a possibility.”  I’m used to attracting attention, and by all means that attention has not always been positive, but I have learned through a lot of pain what to embrace and what to steer clear of rather quickly!  My go-to at this stage of life is generally beeline after acknowledgement, but with his intrigue in watching my long, beautiful blonde hair flowing effortlessly into the air and landing strand by strand into perfection did I become close enough to his presence to hear him say, “OMG, what the —– is that?  What happened to you?”  

Blameless Lightning 2

Special Report:  “Localized flooding developing after residents in Granite Bay heard a loud ROAR caused by lightning and an irrepressible flow of tears washing away the effects of insensitive comments!  Stay tuned for further developments.”

Blameless Tears 2What happened to that intriguing Harlequin romance novel that I was the leading character in?  As much as I care to admit, I’ve never read one of those romance novels, but after reading what I wrote, I’m sooooo going to now!  I guess I know how to draw attention, huh? Hello!!! That’s what writers do, correct, they spread this preconceived idea of what “fanatical love” is; but my story did happen, and it ended without all that romanticized fantasy that generally occurs.  The ugly, somewhat truthful, words uttered from this man’s mouth penetrated deep pain into my heart and robbed me of my worth that led to shame.  It will stick with me forever even though I know where my worth comes from and how I’m still beautiful in God’s eyes and am even more precious than rubies (Proverbs 3:5).Blameless Broken Heart

How does one deal with such painful remarks?  Was it really his intention to speak harmful words over me?  Am I going to allow the opinions and ugly words of what others say about me cloud and interfere with the value and worth being a Be-Loved of the Most High empowers me with?  Hello!!!  You bet, for a little while anyways!

If I’m going to share with transparency and truth here, that comment hurt and stabbed like a knife. It’s painstaking enough to have to deal with the physical pain of this treatment that I go through everyday as I heal from the ugly side effects, but the additional emotional trauma caused by the stares of people’s intrigue is hard walking out what God has to say about my worth and value; not to mention how I scared the morphine right out of my girlfriend a week or so ago.  But I’m going to engage in the infamous Tammy Tantrum first for around 30 minutes or so, maybe longer, so I can allow myself to grieve, purge and process what the enemy is trying to accomplish through his strikings of afflicting me with the Job-ette Syndrome!  Isn’t it interesting how the enemy strikes hard when he REALLY FEELS THREATENED???

Blameless Tears BottleGod loves it when we are real with Him through prayer by expressing our true inner thoughts and feelings; He knows them anyways, so……. Hello!!!  He even captures and records every tear that is shed from our eyes and holds them in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), especially if it is going to bring about localized flooding!  I want to cry me a Noah’s Flood, but thankfully I’m grounded enough now to strike back with the roar of a tiger!!!

Blameless Mirror Mirror 1We have a choice to understand where and how our triggers develop and surface from, but right now I need to cry me a river and be reminded that whether or not my appearance comes back to what it was just a few weeks ago, I will need to mediate and focus on what the Word says in Song of Songs 1:15, “How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, how beautiful…”  I know my Heavenly Daddy is holding my right hand with his gentle reassurance by saying, Beloved daughter of mine, stand tall and remember whose you are.  “All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you” (Song of Songs 4:7). Aaahhhhhhhh…….speak to my heart by speaking Your Truths into me!

Blameless Things Will Never Change

I may be Grammy Tammy, but I still have needs and desires that all of us girls have in the knowing and assurance of feeling beautiful and wanted; and I know all too well that unless I am grounded and focused daily on applying what God tells me in His Word and I BELIEVE in those Truths, it will not do me a bit of good.  I am going to end up getting depressed, isolate from others, get angry, react in ways that might lead me down a path of destruction filled with regret and hard knocks through bad choices of either bad relationships or other means that are anything less than fulfilling or gratifying.  Plus, then I am allowing the enemy a stronghold and entry into my heart by occupying more space in my already broken parts and spirit which will keep me from receiving the love, healing and promises that I was meant to claim.  This only encourages the cycle of isolation and feelings of inferiority and self-worth deprivation and the foregoing of His blessings which are right around the corner waiting for us to claim!  Those gifts are MINE!!!  I am tired of letting the enemy have them or damage them.

How are we going to handle the day when that loud knock arrives, one that will rob us from feeling beautiful or desirable, and I’m not just talking about from the obvious disabling adverse effects of chemo, radiation, trauma, or even age, but the knock that comes flying through the door unannounced and unwelcome?  What happens when that feeling of loss of being desired is caused from the enemy’s access through a secret key carrying an infection (self-worth deprivation) that spreads like a forest fire once we’ve entertained one thought that developed through the rejection that occurred through divorce, ugly words, abandonment, rejection, physical disability, or even when expectations have gone unfulfilled; or from experiencing the effects of loneliness and abandonment due to being an empty-nester, deep scars developing from self-worth issues, even down to a simple temporal imperfection (zit or blemish) on our face that dramatically alters and changes the perceived outward beauty of our self-portrait, how is that going to effect us?  Heck, divorce alters and distorts what you see in the mirror so profoundly without you even realizing it, what are we supposed to do?  How do we keep that destructive door from being unlocked?

Blameless Mean People ReactionWhere do we go from there? If my worth is based on what the world says, “Gotta wear this facade by being perfect and will pay whatever price to lead a lie of such deception,” I’m doomed and destroyed and you might as well kick me to the curb or run like a wild, superficial woman to the nearest plastic surgeon or magician who MIGHT bring temporary relief for a “quick fix” that will inherently lead to more problems. But……. and a big but at that (thank you, Jesus, for that extra baggage), if I know where my worth and value comes from, and that’s beauty that is not fleeting, nor one that can or will ever fade away, which is free and eternal, and can be known only through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then nothing shall rob me of my worth and true value! But I must apply those Truths to my life at all times and not give up and give the enemy any room to start tearing down who I know I am!

I live on this earth while trying to focus on what I can do to bring peace and love within the community, but I am also subjected daily to the desires and the lures that lead us all astray; and though my heart may be devastated temporarily due to the “perceived” rejection that came from an outward comment verbalizing shock and disgust, who probably didn’t mean it the way it was received due to my heightened sensitivity of public opinion right now going through treatment, but it is up to me in how I approach and deal with these emotions.

Isn’t this just like the enemy to throw fire in my face to try and keep me from moving forward.  He’s fighting hard and I see his thwarts, but I will not let him have that stronghold because I know Who lives in me is greater than the one who is in the world (1 John 4:4).  And here I was feeling ashamed and wanted to hide and isolate from the world until I’m completely healed because people aren’t reacting well, for one; and two, how can I continue to be me by helping others and spreading love and cheer with this rather obvious imperfection that takes the breath away from anyone who initially sees me, and not in a good way; not to mention it’s not what I’m accustomed to and I don’t like this negative attention it’s bringing.

My beautiful blessingsI can totally understand now why my sons used to get so upset when people would stare at us (the three towheads, ♥ picture taken over 20 years ago, so cute) especially after their father passed; we may have been beautiful on the outside, but we were hurting on the inside significantly, and it brought about this outward increase of anger because we didn’t want people to see the imperfections that existed within us, the real hurting people we actually were, and it triggered negative responses that led to more problems.  We all react differently; and if we don’t have the tools to help us deal with what life throws at us, it will rob us of our worth, deplete us, depress us, make us hostile, and leave us embittered instead of revealing the growth through it.

With today’s society being so focused on the “instant gratification” all due to this glorious technology we’re afforded nowadays (thank God for that blessing!  Can you imagine reading all of this without a potty break?), we’re losing our social etiquette and patience that is leading us down to the “I want it now” syndrome.  This blog is going to be deep because it’s real, it’s raw, and it’s dealing with emotions I’ve never dealt with in over 50 years. I’m quick to deal with reality through denial, but I am choosing to learn daily what change and transformation with God is all about by sharing my heart and the victories that led me to being obedient to my calling.  God has asked me to share my life’s journey of grace though the pain I’ve endured by being real and transparent.

This is where you, the reader, get the opportunity to shut it down or continue on the journey with me while being transparent.  This is so very hard for me to be so open and candid, but it is freeing because I see the confidence developing within me!  So many of you are following me that I have no idea who you are, but God does!  Being found blameless and forever set free is a lifetime experience that I can’t help but share with everyone that dares to listen and share!

Denying real emotions is only a facade and “temporary” fix, and it leads to further problems.  When you read my book, you will understand this ugly cycle.  I can’t change what has happened to me, nor can I deny it; but what I will no longer engage in is allowing the strongholds of shame, guilt, being embarrassed of my imperfections and decisions, and the lack of confidence that hindered me from the love of Christ suffocate what continues to empower me with strength to fight, love, and be loved.

It was obvious that I was allowing the comments that came from a man who I will probably never see again to cripple and rip my soul to pieces, but the enemy couldn’t pierce my spirit long enough because I knew where to run to for help and consolation; not to another person, nor to such vices as food or alcohol or extended shopping trips; I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer so I didn’t rip this man’s head off in reaction to his comments (trust me, I wanted to); I quickly finished up what I needed to accomplish and rushed home so I could experience the healing of God’s grace and mercy AFTER I threw my Tammy Tantrum!  God just stood there patiently the whole time and said, “Oh my, Beloved Daughter of Mine, I still love you. I am sorry you’re hurting!  I love you just the way you are.”

If I don’t share my trials through tragedies and life-altering circumstances, which far exceeds any education one could obtain, then I will have wasted not only my calling, but a full and enriched life lived through grace and mercy that emerged through heartache.  I want to help girls/women cleave to and press into the Lord to understand this concept of Being Loved just the way we are so we can love and receive others just the way they are.  I have made so many mistakes in the past due to ways in which I reacted because of the pain of rejection, etc., and missed out on a lot of blessings.  I could have saved myself a lot of pain brought on by bad decisions that were caused by a lack of self-worth and value, which then leaked and spewed onto my own children.  Every decision and choice we make each minute in life affects others; whether we’re conscious of it or not.  We need to embrace change!

Life is a lesson lived and learned through love; if I can help ONE person through sharing, being that voice that understands by sharing how I got through it all courageously, then I can explain the purpose for my own pain and the beauty that was developed through it.  The media has no problem touching on disturbing trends while offering solutions to anyone’s problems through the promotion of sex, violence, drugs, alcohol, pornography, plastic surgery, you name it; but that’s just a lie and remedy of the enemy, is a temporary vice to help deny the real issue and just distracts the real help and solutions through detouring the problem because that is the voice heard through the media.  I’m just trying to shed light to the lasting peace and the lasting value that can only be attained through a relationship with Jesus Christ!

Blameless Things Will Never Change

If I didn’t know the Lord, I wouldn’t have just roared at that man, more ugliness would have ensued.  Plus, it would have kept me from receiving the blessings of living out my faith and being bold and courageous enough to walk through a dozen men today with my head held high while receiving the respectful affirmation that I demand!  I am not going to hide my face in shame because of the damage.  You see, in learning this way, I get to continue walking forward with confidence towards the finish line wearing my dresses and go-go boots sporting a new attitude with hands on hips singing, “These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do; one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.  Ha!  Are you ready boots?  Start walking.”  The attitude I possess while wearing dresses with boots!  Ha!

Going back to what I was saying, Tammy Tangent, as much as I love men and enjoy receiving the compliments of most attention, I am not seeking anyone’s affirmation except for God’s.  I know if my mind is not consumed in the Truths found in the Word of God, I’m going to be heartbroken through rejection and lack of fulfillment and even lose the purity that belongs only to a husband; but when I know where my value and worth reside, I won’t fall for what the lyrics of Katy Perry’s song, “Roar,” stand for:  “I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything.”  

I’m going to turn Katy Perry’s song into the victorious lyrics that I believe is meant by the song by highlighting these lyrics:  Enemy, “You held me down, but I got up, already brushing off the dust, you hear my voice, you hear that sound, like thunder gonna shake the ground; you held me down but I got up, get ready ’cause I’ve had enough, I see it all, I see it now, I’ve got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancin’ through the fire, cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar louder, louder than a lion, ’cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar.”  Told you I liked to dance…….

And you’re gonna hear me roar……

1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV), "Do everything in love."

1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV), “Do everything in love.”

When you need that gentle reminder of how beautiful and special you are in God’s eyes and God’s plan and purpose for your life, open up your Bible and read the below verses over and over. Heck, even write out a few Post-it notes and stick them where you frequent the most, like your car and the bathroom area or on your cell phone wallpaper. They really speak to my heart, especially when life says otherwise.  No matter what we look like or whether we’re married or single, old or young, “we all bring beauty to the bunch,” and when one of us is hurting, it’s up to us Sistas to help keep each other immersed into the Word so our hurts can be encouraged and healed.

Since you so graciously followed me to the end and I can’t seem to find the time to finish Blameless and Forever Free’s Facebook ministry page so we can approach and share with each other our struggles in claiming victory, I am attaching a couple of pictures of how my physical presence has changed dramatically through the damage incurred due to aggressive treatments. The first picture was taken of me just three weeks before treatment started, then post two weeks, then post three weeks.  Slowly and surely I am healing.  I will be fine, and the swelling from the burst and burn has subsided dramatically.  I am being bold and courageous posting my imperfections on the internet with grace!  Not your typical selfie which highlights only the good qualities; that’s insecurity as its finest.  Painful it is!Tammy Tangent Tuesdays 2 Cancer Treatment Side Effect 2 Cancer Treatment Side Effect

Cancer Treatment Side Effects After 3 WeeksSong of Songs 1:15:  “How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, how beautiful…” and Song of Songs 4:7:  “All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”

1 Peter 3:3-4, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

Proverbs 3:15: “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”

Psalm 34:5: “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”

Psalm 139:13-14, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

1 Samuel 16:7: “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his [her] appearance or his [her] height…The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

And of course, Proverbs 31.

Life hurts at times, but I know one thing:  When we know and love God, there’s nothing that man can say or do to us that will have lasting, permanent effects. Let God bring healing to the hurts by releasing that occupied space to receive His best and blessings.  I am in this race encouraging you on!   Much love!

Song of Songs 1:15, "How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, how beautiful."

Song of Songs 1:15, “How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful.”

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV), "Do everything in love."

1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV), “Do everything in love.”

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Tammy Tangent Tuesdays 3

I know I haven’t said it often enough, but thank you for being Beautiful You!  I appreciate you more than you will ever know or hear.  Never forget how valuable and precious your life is!

It’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays! Don’t forget to reach out to others through love and appreciation!

Blameless Thank YouThis week’s challenge: Acknowledge those who have blessed your life by choosing 7 (seven) people and send them a card or email letting them know how much you appreciate them and how you’ve been blessed by their life.  Don’t just select friends, think about your pharmacist, a teacher, your pastor or their wife (they never receive enough praise), police officers (when is the last time you thanked an officer), first responders, chaplains, even our waitresses.  Remember, this is designed to bring unity and change within our circle of influence in the community and to continue appreciating how each one of us impacts one another in society through the simple random act of giving back “love” (1 Corinthians 16:14)!  It’s the little things that matter…….