The Savior was born so your story wouldn’t end here.
Christmas isn’t a reminder to “be cheerful.”
It’s a reminder that God stepped into a world that was already breaking.
Jesus didn’t watch our suffering from a distance. He entered it. He felt it. He carried it. And He still carries you.
Because He Himself suffered, He understands every weight you shoulder. Because He promised never to leave or forsake you, He holds you when you can’t hold yourself. Because He is not a man that He should lie, His word stands even when your strength doesn’t.
This season, remember: The Savior who was born in the dark is the same Savior who carries you through your darkness.
Lean into Him. He won’t let you go. He never has. He never will.
Merry Christmas… from the One who came, the One who stayed, and the One who carries you still.
Stay connected with Tammy by subscribing to lovedshack.com. There you will find many front doors leading to lifestyles and roles Tammy has personally walked throughout her life and the differing communities developing.
December resurrects grief. Empty chairs scream louder. Memories cut deeper. The world says celebrate; your soul says ache.
It’s not “holiday blues.” It’s loss. And grief doesn’t take time off.
Jesus wept loudly, publicly, without shame. You don’t have to pretend healing. You don’t have to rush grief. You don’t have to “be strong for the holidays.”
Depression grows in December because the month demands more than your emotional account holds. Money pressure. Family pressure. Social pressure. Expectations you can’t meet.
Depression isn’t just sadness; it’s deficit.
When life requires more than you have, your hope goes into overdraft.
And hope-sickness is real. God doesn’t demand you pretend. He sits with those who can’t give, can’t buy, can’t show up, can’t sparkle.
Supporting Scripture: Isaiah 61:1–3; Luke 2:7
Questions:
What expectation do you need to release this week?
What emotional bill feels overdue?
What would a “bare minimum Christmas” look like for you?
Prayer:
God, I’m overwhelmed by what I can’t give. Strip this season down to what matters. Protect me from shame. Meet me in simplicity. Amen.
“But I, O Lord, cry to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you.”
—Psalm 88:13
Narrative:
There are mornings—especially in December—when waking up feels like losing. The world demands cheer, schedules, gifts, conversations, small talk, and sparkle. You’re just trying to breathe.
Depression steals the morning before you even start. It makes getting out of bed feel like climbing out of a collapsed building.
God doesn’t shame that. He meets people exactly where they wake up: breathless, depleted, numb.
Supporting Scripture:
Psalm 143:3–8; Psalm 42:3
Questions:
What did you feel within the first 10 seconds of waking up today?
What expectation is crushing you the most this season?
How can you lower the bar for today without guilt?
Prayer:
God, mornings hurt. I don’t have energy for the day, the people, or the season. Meet me in this exhaustion. I’m not asking for strength—I’m asking for breath. Keep me alive through today. Amen.
In honor of losing a dear old friend, Kris, to suicide, Loved Shack is starting a 14-day devotional to help those suffering from anxiety and depression.
For the ones fighting depression, grief, and the long nights — you are seen.
This devotional begins in honor of someone deeply loved — Kris — a woman, whose life mattered, whose story mattered, and whose battle mattered.
The shock of losing her reminds us how fierce, silent, and exhausting the fight against depression can be.
No one knew the weight she carried like Jesus did — and no one ran beside her like Jesus did.
And that same Jesus is running beside you.
He runs with you when the morning feels impossible. He runs with you when your thoughts grow too heavy. He runs with you when no one else recognizes the storm inside your chest. He runs with you when you hide the pain behind your smile. He runs with you when you don’t know how to pray — and He runs with you when all you can whisper is, “God, please help me.”
Jesus is not distant from suffering — He stepped into it. He carried His own cross through agony. He knows trauma, loneliness, betrayal, exhaustion, and fear. Because He suffered, He understands your suffering. Because He overcame, He carries you through yours.
This devotional series is for the ones who are tired. The ones who feel invisible. The ones who have lost someone this year. The ones who wonder if their life still matters. The ones barely holding on.
Kris’ life is honored here by telling the truth depression tries to silence: You are not alone. You are not beyond help. You are not forgotten. Jesus is still running with you — right now — exactly where you are.
And when your strength fails, when your steps falter, when the night gets too heavy…
He doesn’t stop running. He lifts you. He carries you. He keeps you alive until the light returns.
This is the heart behind these 14 days: That someone reading this — even just one person — will feel the arms of the Savior who never lets go.
Kris’ life mattered. Your life matters too. And Jesus, who ran with her, is running with you.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”
—Psalm 136:1
As you finish these 30 days, let’s end with the most powerful thing you can do: gratitude.
No matter what has come before or what lies ahead, take a moment to reflect on the goodness of God in your marriage.
It’s easy to get caught up in what’s not perfect, but today, let’s thank God for every moment of love, every ounce of patience, and every bit of grace He’s poured into you both.
Speak Life Prompt:
Take five minutes today to share with your spouse what you’re thankful for in them. Thank them for their love, support, and commitment.
Prayer:
“Lord, thank You for the gift of my spouse. Thank You for Your love that never fails. We are grateful for each other, and we are grateful for You.”
You sacrifice daily for your community.
Your spouse needs that same dedication.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Ending With Gratitude
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
—Colossians 3:14
Love is a choice, not a feeling. Every day, you wake up and choose to love your spouse—in words, actions, and thoughts.
Choose to see the best in each other. Choose to serve one another. Choose to offer kindness when it’s hard and grace when it’s needed most.
Today, reflect on how you can choose your spouse, even in the mundane moments. Love is most beautiful when it’s chosen over and over again
Speak Life Prompt:
Choose one small act of love today—even when you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed. Whether it’s a smile, a kind word, or an unexpected gesture, choose to love.
Prayer:
“Lord, thank You for the gift of love. Help me choose my spouse every single day, even when it’s not easy. May our love for each other reflect Your love for us.”
The badge requires your courage.
Your marriage deserves it too.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Choosing Each Other Daily
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them.”
—Matthew 18:20
There’s something sacred about coming together in prayer. It binds your hearts, strengthens your bond, and invites God into your midst.
When life gets hard, it can be easy to forget the power of prayer in a marriage. But the act of praying together is a reminder that you are not alone.
Today, make it a point to pray together. It could be a simple prayer of gratitude, or it could be a prayer for strength and peace. Whatever it is, invite God into the middle of it.
Speak Life Prompt:
Take five minutes to pray together today, even if it’s brief. Let God‘s peace fill your hearts and your home.
Prayer:
“God, thank You for the gift of prayer. Help me and my spouse connect with you daily and lean on Your strength together.”
You’ve laid down your life for people you’ll never see again.
Don’t forget to fight for the one waiting at home.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Praying Together
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert.”
—Jeremiah 2:2
The first time you fell in love, it was simple, exciting, and full of wonder. But sometimes, life gets busy, and we forget to rekindle that initial spark.
Today, let’s intentionally remember the reasons we fell in love. What was it about your spouse that made your heart race? What made you feel seen,cherished, and chosen?
Rekindling that fire doesn’t require grand gestures, just a genuine heart and a willing spirit.
Speak Life Prompt:
Reminisce with your spouse about your first date, the moment you knew you were in love, or the silly things that made you laugh together.
Prayer:
“God, reignite the fire in my heart for my spouse. Let me remember how I first loved them and help me continue loving them with the same wonder.”
You protect the community without hesitation.
Protect your marriage with that same intensity.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Rekindling Your First Love
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
—1 Peter 4:8
Every relationship has its walls—walls built from past hurts, miscommunications, or unmet needs. But love is stronger than any wall.
Today, ask God to help you tear down the walls that have built up over time. Let love flow freely between you and your spouse. Love that forgives, heals, and restores.
It might take time, but let the strength of God’s love be the foundation upon which you rebuild.
Speak Life Prompt:
Talk with your spouse about any walls that may have formed in your relationship. Ask God to help you tear them down with love and understanding.
Prayer:
“Lord, tear down the walls that separate me from my spouse. Let Your love be the healing balm for our hearts.”
You run toward danger for strangers every shift.
Today, run toward your spouse with that same courage.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Breaking Down Walls
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
The way you love each other isn’t just for today. It’s a legacy.
Today, look at your marriage as a legacy in the making. What are you leaving behind for the next generation? A love built on grace, patience, and Christ-centered unity.
Speak Life today by pouring love into your marriage with the same vision of legacy—one rooted in honor, respect, and the teachings of Jesus.
Speak Life Prompt:
Take a moment to reflect together on the love you want to leave behind. Share your hopes, dreams, and the legacy you want your marriage to create.
Prayer:
“Lord, let our love be a light that shines for generations. Help us create a legacy that honors you and speaks life into those who follow us.”
You’ve spent your life fighting for your community.
Now it’s time to fight for your marriage.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Legacy of Love
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
—Ephesians 4:32
Forgiveness isn’t just an act—it’s a choice.
You’ll never find perfection in your spouse—and neither will they find it in you. But forgiveness is what clears the air, softens the heart, and brings healing.
Forgiving is more than just saying words—it’s releasing the past and choosing to walk forward with love.
Today, look into your spouse’s eyes and choose to forgive. Let go of past hurts, even if they still sting. Then, speak life into their future.
Speak Life Prompt:
If there’s something lingering between you, say, “I forgive you, and I choose to move forward together.”
Prayer:
“Lord, give me the strength to forgive, just as You’ve forgiven me. Help me release the past and walk in love today.”
You sacrifice daily for your community.
Your spouse needs that same dedication.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Just Heal You, It Heals Us
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
—Exodus 14:14
Sometimes, silence isn’t the absence of communication—it’s the depth of understanding.
In the world of law enforcement, words can be heavy. There are days when the heart just needs to be still. To be present in the quiet, without the need for explanations.
True intimacy isn’t always found in speaking, it’s found in holding space for each other.
Today, practice the gift of stillness. Sit together. Hold each other. Let silence be your language of connection.
Speak Life Prompt:
Spend 10 minutes together, sitting in silence. No phones, no distractions—just each other. If words come, speak gently. If they don’t, be at peace.
Prayer:
“Lord, help me find peace in the quiet moments with my spouse. May we communicate in stillness and find connection in the unspoken.”
The badge requires your courage.
Your marriage deserves it, too.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
Strength in Silence
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
—1 Corinthians 13:4
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give each other is patience.
When the world is loud and demanding, it’s easy to get frustrated with the person closest to you. But true love waits.
Love has the strength to endure, to pause, to give grace when it’s easiest to get impatient.
Today, practice patience, even in the moments that would test it the most. Give your spouse the space to be human, and don’t hold their flaws against them.
Speak Life Prompt:
The next time you feel frustration rising, breathe, and say, “I’m choosing patience today—for you, and for us.“
Prayer:
“Jesus, help me choose patience over frustration. Teach me to love without expectations and give my spouse the grace You give me.”
You’ve laid down your life for people you’ll never see again.
Don’t forget to fight for the one waiting at home.
Let’s speak life — every single day.
The Gift of Patience
Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.
My name is Tammy Ingram and I’m a party just waiting to happen! Don’t believe me? Come rejoice with me as we celebrate these truths through daily profession that are written in the Word of God about US (God’s chosen beloveds) and you’ll understand where my obnoxious optimism and joy comes from.
I’m a party just waiting to happen; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, waiting to pop (1 Peter 1:8)! Angels rejoice over me (Luke 15:10) as the demons flee in pure terror (James 4:7). Ha! Top that off, the Lord God Almighty Himself dances over me as He serenades me with His love (Zephaniah 3:17). You see, I am chosen by God (John 15:16) and this beloved not only has Favor with man and understanding, but F-A-V-O-R with the Lord God Almighty(Luke 2:52). Hello!
I mean, I am called His Work of Art, His Masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), after all. Even before the creation of the world, I was planned and chosen (Ephesians 1:4). I am always on my Lord’s mind and He thinks about me constantly (Psalms 139:17-18), which is probably why I’m considered the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).
And no, God is N-O-T thinking about putting me in a straitjacket either!
I lack no good thing (Psalm 34:10) and I was predestined for success by none other than the Lord God Almighty Himself (Romans 8:28-30). I am placed and seated with God, a royal priesthood, chosen by God as His very own. My value comes from being the KING’s daughter with royal blood running through my veins, part of His chosen generation, peculiar people we are (1 Peter 2:9), and NOT from my own achievements.
Meditating on these TRUTHS should be a part of our daily regimen and dance (worship). Talk about a confidence builder, knowing where to run for safety and refuge and where to pick up and receive this treasure trove, reminding us of our worth and value being God‘s pursued child. Speaking and prophesying God’s promises over our lives so we DO NOT BELIEVE the LIES of the enemy that’s so easily entangle us!
And as my fave Lisa Bevere said, “God has a way of taking every bad choice, every misstep and redeeming it, not just for our future, but for the benefit of others.“
Look up, child! God’s still rolling stones…
You might start understanding where my joy comes from. Stick around! It won’t take long. I can’t wait until you’re able to look into the mirror and see who God created: Beautiful You!
This is why I’ve decided to share and publish each week my commitment in reaching and teaching our amazing homeless beloveds this Bible study I’m writing called God’s Great Love Changes Everything!
Introducing the love of our Father through the magnificent works of the Holy Spirit’s transformation is simply believing and experiencing what the Bible says about us daily through application. There’s so much love, contentment and healing to be experienced this side of heaven.
Removing our veils of shame; acknowledging and believing who we were created to be is powerful; filled with joy, laughter, and lots of celebratory dancing…
Celebrating Each Other
There’s no competition here. This CEO considers the acronym CEO to mean Celebrating Each Other.
I was once so tired trying to belong and fit in and be accepted anywhere and everywhere with whomever, I resolved to suicidal tendencies, even driving off a cliff. Nothing short of miraculous being alive today! Trying to perform and conform to society’s standards just to be loved and accepted is exhausting, isn’t it?
This might help shed light on why I wrote Rejection is Merely a Redirection last year.
We all just want to be loved, find where we fit in, you know, that place of belonging that says we’re enough just the way we are (beautiful enough, smart enough, sophisticated enough, loved enough), being seen, and acknowledged that our lives do matter. No judgment and/or condemnation here. Blameless’ motto: There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!
Just ask my grown sons who are now 40 and 33; they’ll agree, I’m one Crazy Grammy Tammy!
Your life is a party waiting to happen! We’re all in this together. Nothing would make me happier than hearing you tap into these truths while living them out. One blossoming, confident beloved!
If you follow us each week with your Bible, you’ll experience through laughter, sometimes even raw and candid vulnerability, transformation ushering in celebration as these truths become part of your own makeup.
Through Challenges and Adversity, We Build Strength!
Hi Friends, Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is excited to announce and introduce our new Women’s Director, Donna Sieverin, who will help lead our women incarcerated towards healing and wholeness at Folsom Women’s Facility. God was generous in blessing Blameless with Donna to help facilitate our programming, “Suffering in Silence,” to the many women behind bars at FWF.
About Donna…
Donna understands generational dysfunction as well as how God sees endless potential for redemption. God pursues and His Love never relents!
Being adopted by parents who were doing their best as alcoholics to raise their children, along with masking over the pain delivered from the sting of abandonment and rejection, this slowly led Donna to find more comfort and dependency on her next fix; you know, getting high just to get by. This substance misuse led her spiraling down a highway to hell with absolutely no exit or offramp.
Several arrests later and a couple incarceration stays for numerous crimes devoted solely to satisfy her fix, Donna found Jesus in prison all due to an honorable judge in drug court who believed in a different approach.
Donna was blessed to have her record expunged, and her heart wants to lean into helping other women find peace and God’s Great Love in their lives so they can be a productive member of society and be accepted as our new neighbor.
All lives have value! We can’t forget, 95% of our incarcerated residents are going to be our neighbor some day; ready or not, here they come. Let’s embrace them with rehabilitative programming and BE READY!
When we let God have our lives, He can do far more with it than even we dare to imagine!
For the incarcerated residents that Blameless and Forever Free Ministries impacts, transformation occurs through God’s Great Love, coupled with connectedness, awareness and vulnerability.
⚓️ Connectedness is the relational anchor ⚓️
For our incarcerated to understand themselves and their actions, Blameless believes it requires understanding their history; and that includes generational familial dysfunction. After all, the “emotional residue of our past follows us.” -Dr. Bruce Perry
Until the wounds of our childhood traumas are healed, we will continue to bleed. The wounds will bleed through and stain our lives, whether it’s through drugs, alcohol, incarceration, etc.
It takes community/belonging to equip them with the courage to pull out the arrow, the deep wound, and begin to heal. That is what our workbook, “Suffering in Silence,” offers with God’s amazing grace.
With such a high demand, on this #GivingTuesday, Nov. 30, we pray that you will find it in your heart to support the distribution of our “Suffering in Silence” programming that is helping foster transformation through redemption and rehabilitation in our state prisons.
I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one… (Ezekiel 22:30, MSG).
Suffering in Silence
Is your faith true and strong enough to stand in the gap and bring healing in the Name of Love Himself?
Many of us profess our faith is deep and legit; yet, there is NO evidence of any fruit. Sitting in the pews every Sunday does not illustrate anything but religious mindsets filled with judgment, fear and condemnation.
If we’ve been touched by the love of God, that LOVE cannot stay contained within. This Great Love affair will burst forward with actions filled with tender mercies and gratuitous hearts that fully expose and radiate the fruit of our Spirit.
Where does our relationship with Jesus, the Love of the Father, fit in with all the deceit claiming that obedience is only required within the four walls of our congregations and its members?
God blesses each of us so we can be a blessing to others.
How can we say we are “a part” of the Body of Christ without standing in the gap to bring healing to the bruised and hurt lives without any action?
How Few Workers!
When Jesus looked out over the crowds, His heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!“ He said to His disciples. “How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!“ (Matthew 9:35-38, MSG).
Standing in the gap is defined as “to expose oneself for the protection of something; to make defense against any assailing danger; to take the place of a fallen defender or supporter.”
95% of our incarcerated will be released from our prisons and soon become our neighbors. We are commanded as believers to “love our neighbor as ourselves” and that means building relational communities that help bring healing, wholeness and rehabilitation into broken lives.
That is, after all, what we call redemption. This is what being A PART of the Body ofChrist is.
When we love one another, we remember we are not fighting for just ourselves, but we are fighting for humanity that the Word calls for in 1 John 4:7.
Did you know that, according to one Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, which surveyed adults across the U.S. in late June of 2020, 31% of respondents reported some form of mental health care symptoms and are in need of proper mental health treatment?
And with the largest mental health institution in the United States being our prison system, the sobering number of unmet mental health needs is heartbreaking.
The beloveds thatBlameless and Forever Free Ministries pours into may be imprisoned and/or recently released from state prison, but the connective tissue of true rehabilitation is in the transforming of one’s mind requiring relational community.
Every individual who has been incarcerated has a great need for appropriate mental health care treatment both during their incarceration and once released back into community.
And to love one another, forgiveness is necessary (not negating the crime) along with meeting them right where they are at developmentally.
Building healthy individuals and families should be our number one priority so we have a fighting chance at safer communities and developing healthy generations.
Future generations, meaning YOUR children and your children’s children, are being formed this very moment and what those little eyes see and hear now matters.
Sunday marked the beginning of National Correctional Officers Week, which honors correctional staff everywhere for the dedication and commitment they show each and every day in their profession.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis honored to know many outstanding Correctional Officers, especially from Folsom State Prison, that deserve recognition and who go above and beyond the call of duty.
Even though COs have to constantly monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated population and incoming visitors, they engage with the family members and friends of the incarcerated, too, who all too often are subjected to harsh judgment and disregard.
Tragically, on July 2, 2020, Folsom State Prison lost one of its valuable Correctional Officers named Tawfic K. Rashid. Officer Rashid left behind his beautiful bride, Katie, and three amazing children to continue in his legacy of honor and service.
Officer Rashid was always out for an adventure! He served his country and retired from the U.S. Army after 20 years of service and dedication, then served as a Correctional Officer at Folsom State Prison for three years.
Officer Rashid kept order and control through his quiet confidence while enforcing rules. His respect and kindness towards everyone who entered the prison grounds were greeted with grace and respect while performing his duties.
During his time at FSP, we were blessed with his invaluable inquisition commanding safety and scrutiny through his benign quirkiness. His kindness was extended to all, but his respect for humanity extended far beyond the prison walls.
Of notable mention, when one extends and acknowledges the value and worth of all humanity, namely the incarcerated and their loved ones, as they’re waiting in the pain, eating the bread of adversity and water of affliction, it radiates one’s character of dignity and honor that cannot be dimmed nor refuted. It also changes the cold and sterile environment inside prison walls.
Sure, Officer Rashid had success with his ability to monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated and visiting-member population, but the aforementioned set him apart from others, and that is why we are honored to nominate his life as one whose conduct should be mirrored. Just one reason why he was able to enforce rules and keep order in the prison so easily during his shifts.
Reflecting on the depth of despair that must have been present on Good Friday, it feels unfathomable to encounter such forgiveness that Jesus extended towards those who not only condemned and executed Him, but the criminals hanging alongside of Him as He awaited His execution.
Here we become so hurt and violated over petty assaults stemming from moments of disregard, gossip, and hurled insults. But to proclaim this unimaginable mercy as one looks down on those condemning Him, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34), it’s obvious we have no idea of the resurrection power that is available to us and at work in us.
Whoever thought love, forgiveness and second chances would require resurrection power? We generally lean inward to self to believe we’re only talking about our failures, our sins, our mistakes and our regrets.
Oh, how I want to love like Jesus!
Don’t you?
Everything Jesus did for us, He did out of love. God showed His Great Love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). God didn’t just say He loved us, He showed us.
Love is an action that we tend to forget that requires active participation; loving when we don’t feel like it. We want it OUR WAY AND WHEN WE FEEL LIKE LOVING!!!
Easter shows us the depth and width of God’s Great Love. The Bible says in Psalm 57:3 that God will send down help from heaven to save us because of His Love. That’s what Jesus did on Easter. Jesus came from heaven to save us because of His amazing love.
And when they came to the place that is called “The Skull,” they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on His right and one on His left (Luke 23:33).
Amazing how Jesus is still showing His Love as He takes the works of the crucifixion and turns it into the first “Christian community” placing emphasis on the criminals alongside of Him.
Jesus may have appeared insignificant to the world; yet, He is our greatest gift that keeps on giving and our greatest advocate! Without His Great Love, we surely could not love. Without His forgiveness, we truly could not forgive and release the imprisonment of rage and bitterness.
This is the beauty and power of the resurrection as Good Friday Meets Jesus On Death Row. When Jesus stretched His arms out as wide as the cross, He was saying, “I love you this much! I love you to eternity. I love you so much, it hurts. I love you so much, I’ll die for you so that I won’t have to live without you.”
Knowing I’m loved like that, transforms and unleashes courage to be all He says I am and can be!
Isn’t that why we’re told to love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins?
Because of what Jesus did for us on Good Friday, leading to Resurrection Sunday (Easter), forgiveness reminds us that we cannot diminish human beings. “We’re all capable of being better than our worst selves.”
They crucified Jesus with criminals, and there’s good reason Jesus made it a point to draw our focus towards those incarcerated both at the beginning of His ministry (Luke 4:18-19) and all the way to the end (Matthew 25:35-36).
The Church is challenged to Call For Abolition by advocating for the repeal of capital punishment. This requires the Body of Christ to walk out through LOVE human dignity that requires us to build opportunities for healing, community and redemption.
We can’t just pretend to love others. We have to really love them!!! Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good (Romans 12:9).
This is a picture of a GROUP THERAPY session at California’s San Quentin Prison. Personally, all I can see is an animalistic inkling.
This is how some of our men and women incarcerated live; for many years also. They go from one cage to another. Residing in these tiny cages 23 hours a day. They are put in there for disciplinary reasons, SAFETY concerns and/or investigative reasons, but…
After just a couple of hours, psychological warfare sets in.
There’s a line here. Has to be! One etched in dignity. Like Brene’ Brown said, Dehumanizing others crosses that line. And it still sadly exists today, even though it obviously never worked to rehabilitate, make communities that are safer, and/or decrease recidivism rates and crime with over 2.2 million people incarcerated in the U.S.
Wonder why???
It’s a process of stripping all mental capacities which deprives them of human qualities and makes them appear less human, creating animalistic qualities full of rage, if you ask me. There’s nothing rehabilitative and transforming in this inhumane treatment.
They do need to serve their time for their crime; however, but in this setting/time out that can last years, it just creates more rage and violence. Imagine years like this!!!
Their lives need redemption and it’s kind of hard to identify and change old behavioral problems due to their own childhood traumas and deep wounds in this environment. This just reinforces their hostile triggers and reactions that they never learned to deal with because of generational dysfunction and/or systemic trauma with nobody taking the time to invest into their lives and teach them the tools necessary for success.
This is not an acceptable form of rehabilitation, this is creating more problems and more violence. They need skills and environments conducive to healing and wholeness that a sterile cage cannot deliver.
If you stuck me inside one of those cages for more than a couple hours, even with all my favorite books, I’d become crazy and hostile too, much less for years. Being provoked doesn’t take much when you’re stuck in a cage being treated like an animal and mocked with no one to speak with/to or engage in conversation with.
The ground turns into some pretty scary hallucinations, I’m sure.
And if you’re not coached/led to some form of self-reflection and community, you’re never going to understand how to exist in community as a productive member of society that you struggled with in the first place due to your poor choices and decisions that contributed to your incarceration. Therefore, you will continue to exist through this revolving door of repeated criminal conduct and state prison with many more people suffering due to being unhealed and this dysfunctional behavior.
Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!
It’s sad! A travesty. I get all sides being a survivor of violent crimes myself, being a chaplain, marrying once into law enforcement/corrections, along with a son who did time, but this is inhumane and it’s not solving anything except for throwing the keys away of residents whose lives do matter, have value and can be redeemed and transformed.
That’s the power of our beautiful Jesus, He’s in the business of transforming lives, and I’ve been honored to witness it! That’s what prisons and/or healing centers are supposed to deliver, transformed lives. Sadly, the deep hurts that led the men and women to prison in the first place are RARELY dealt with. In fact, we release them back into society in worse shape than when they entered state prison. That’s scary and not building safer communities. And now you can see why.
This is just an easy way to pocket the money of taxpayers that should be going to programs that actually change lives, restore and bring healing to all affected by crime, especially the victims.
And the scary and sad thing about this is, our residents have been suffering in silence locked up now for over a year without programming and/or visitation from loved ones due to COVID and we wonder why they’re so full of anxiety, rage and suicidal ideation right now. We have our work cut out for us once we get back inside our state prisons to facilitate programming.
Talk about a humanitarian crisis!
That’s the end of that honest narrative in Tammy Tangent fashion. Guess I needed to purge my own frustrations in what others are trying to cover over. Amazing what God exposes at times.
And our prisons are filled with wounded souls that need healing. This requires connection, community, compassion and safe places for healing to begin.
Ready or not, 95% of our incarcerated residents will be released as our neighbor!
Sexual Assault Against Boys Is A Crisis
It’s far more common than we think. Below are a couple of great articles shedding light as to why we don’t talk about it. It’s far more pervasive than we think.
Discussions regarding sexual violence against boys and men need not be uncomfortable and awkward, but it will require honest, open and transparent communications that require listening and engagement.
I share, taking 15 minutes of time invested in this reading will save souls, maybe even the lives of our own future children, their children and/or our grandchildren.
Sexual violence against boys is far more common than we think. And since Sundays seem to be the perfect day Blameless lays out and exposes hard issues, we’ll continue because our sons, grandsons and future generations, heck ALL BOYS and MEN for that matter, are invaluable members of the Body of Christ and when they’re being attacked, we need to have the courage to stand in the gap with them.
Jesus wants our eyes open through the lens of love and Sabbath days are perfect days to chew on tough matters. If we want to raise boys differently, we must start believing that they are equally capable of feeling pain AND doing violence.
Just reading these couple articles will help empower awareness and shed light to toxic stress, trauma, the reality of our dark culture, and open up a dialogue exposing behaviors of generational household dysfunction that would even think that hazing and bullying are acceptable behaviors, much less without also addressing violence against men and boys.
This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is now adding the incarcerated families to our curriculum to work through some household dysfunctional issues with the residents at Folsom State Prison because there’s an intergenerational link tied to the revolving door of our lives that needs addressing and exposure to sever the strongholds.
After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name! And in order to receive healing, we must name it and that requires intention.
The article below is from the Washington Post and it sheds so much light as to why we don’t want to talk about matters concerning boys and men in being sexually violated and how and why we need to engage in these tough questions and conversations.
So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.
God Is Love
Those who are loved by God, let His love continually pour from you to one another, because God is love. Everyone who loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him. The one who doesn’t love has yet to know God, for God is love. The light of God’s love shined within us when He sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through Him (1 John 4:7-9).
This is love: He loved us long before we loved Him. it was His love, not ours. He proved it by sending His Son to be the pleasing sacrificial offering to take away our sins.
Delightfully loved ones, if He loved us with such tremendous love, then “loving one another” should be our way of life!
LOVE softens traumatic memories. Memories of being loved that we can access or create help us tolerate suffering.
It all comes down to love!
For all my friends who are overcoming being traumatized; there is no shame in being traumatized. God’s Love is so amazing, we need to focus on giving ourselves credit for being resilient enough to survive our adverse experiences along with surviving our difficult childhoods.
Our hidden wounds are healing now that we have the courage to address them with understanding, compassion and skill.
Cheers to viewing this suffering as a challenging experience that called us to acquire new inner strengths and coping skills. That’s part of the healing process in being the courageous, transitional person in our family tree that breaks the cycle of suffering. Hallelujah!
Daughters raised with a father’s love are more likely to feel worthy of love, and less likely to seek love in unhealthy ways.
Tracing Your Family’s Cycle Of Alcohol Misuse Can Help Break The Generational Familial Cycle
As we are writing our new programming for our residents at Folsom State Prison, one thing has become extremely heavy on my heart: We have to stop hiding and denying our generational strongholds.
Don’t we all want safer communities, unity and peace?
I sure do!
Why are we so ashamed to dig in and start shifting the paradigm by talking about our struggles that led us into this mass incarceration fiasco through honest, open and transparent conversations?
Building healthy communities requires open communication, not hiding behind our facades/screens/pretentiousness.
My own personal tragedy opened my eyes to a need and cause worthy of all cost and exposure! After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!
Having those shackles removed is liberating!
The longer we hide behind our Sunday facades of Christianity or pride, denying there’s a problem from the shame, judgment and fear, more lives will be lost. We will never have peace and/or healing and each generation will become more volatile and violent.
Our prisons are already filled with over 2.2 million broken beloveds. That’s not counting their families and those precious littles who’ll fall into hurting children grow into hurting adults, so it’s urgent we start transforming our prisons into healing centers.
This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis dedicated to delivering ACE-aware curriculum that breaks the cycle of intergenerational and systemic trauma and crime merging both the good news of the gospel along with the proven neuroscience in collaboration with the ACEs Aware initiative.
Restoring broken lives through God’s Great Love infused with restorative justice practices in order to decrease criminal recidivism requires focusing on the effects of early life experiences and environmental change, and that includes the family and all of its dysfunction.
Show me “One Family”
that doesn’t have dysfunction!!!
We’re not doing anyone good by denying it; the struggle is real!
At Blameless we aim for Folsom State Prison to be an iconic symbol of healing and wholeness where all parties (staff, residents AND loved ones) transform culture through trauma-informed practices and resiliency.
Incorporating the families into the curriculum during this extensive isolation period is necessary in dealing with unresolved trauma, which includes addictive behaviors, an inability to deal with conflict, anxiety, confusion, depression or that innate belief that we have no value.
No Value?
Basic human need is belonging; knowing“I MATTER!”
Individuals who have the capacity for intimacy and connection believe that they belong and are connected to others are opportunities that usher in healing. We have to reestablish this safety zone.
This closeness should come through the family, right? We need our loved ones involved now more than ever as we campaign for 3,000 tablets for programming for each resident at FSP!
This is the story of our amazing Lord who meets us in our pain and is using every heartache for something bigger than we could ever ask for or imagine.
Jesus didn’t suffer so we would stay broken, He came to redeem lives and bring healing.
One thing we know about people who are traumatized, is that a supportive family and a sense of community lessens the impact of the trauma. We need to become healing organizations and start valuing all of mankind.
Every life has value!
I decided to start this awareness campaign on Sunday since it’s generally celebrated as the Sabbath and admit, if I didn’t have an allergic reaction and sensitivity to alcohol, I’d be the first person to uncork a bottle of my favorite Jesus Juice any time.
I’m not here to judge. I’m here to bring awareness to one trauma that fills up our state prisons along with watching a few of my own friends leaning into increased drinking due to the loneliness they’re feeling being socially distanced.
It took an allergic reaction a couple of years ago to help me understand the many underlining strongholds that are associated with addictive behaviors, like abuse and depression, that my own family lineage passed down.
Time to sever the dysfunction and that requires awareness and tools for identification!
Our prisons are filled with beloveds that have the highest ACE scores. With four or more ACEs, you’re seven times more likely to become incarcerated in your lifetime.
T.R.A.U.M.A.
As Dr. Robert Anda, Co-Principal Investigator on the ACE-Study, writes, “Growing up with alcohol abusing parents is strongly related to the risk of experiencing other categories of ACEs.”
In other words, a parent’s alcohol misuse causes drinking behaviors; drinking behaviors cause secondhand drinking – the negative impacts of a person’s drinking behaviors on others, such as:
verbal, physical, emotional abuse;
neglect;
unpredictable behaviors;
parents separate or divorce;
alcohol-related domestic violence;
alcohol-related crime that results in incarceration.
These drinking behaviors, in turn, cause ACEs to a child, such as:
physical, verbal, sexual abuse
physical, emotional neglect
living with a problem drinker or alcoholic
parents separated or divorced
incarcerated family member.
domestic violence against one’s mother.
We encourage you to use this wonderful template that’s been created to trace a Family’s ACEs Tree (click here to download) hoping it will help you in understanding the familial cycle of alcohol misuse in your own family.
Please understand, we’re not suggesting that just because one knows their Family ACEs Tree excuses or even minimizes or erases the impacts of their own traumas, nor does it stop the triggers one still experiences as a consequence of those ACEs.
Rather, we pray that it will help with the healing process, by developing pacifying and reassuring techniques to counter those impacts, and in time,to forgive — to forgive oneself and those whom hurt them so deeply.
And that forgiveness can be as simple as letting go of the yearning for a different outcome by understanding that everyone was doing the best they could with the tools they had at the time and/or what they knew at the time — which was likely — well, another novel.
The Depth Of Our Pain Is An Indication Of The Pinnacle Awaiting In Our Future!
Everybody’s screaming for a different story right now, drinking and smoking more, through all the unknowns, the diseases, the division, and the despair from loneliness and death, but I’M NOT!!!
Well…
Honestly, I am suffering with my greatest health crisis ever right now, but my Lord doesn’t leave us to our own strength to conquer these summits alone. He simply asks us to trust and remember that when we’re weak, He is strong!
I admit, when the physical and emotional pain is unbearable and you literally can’t move, sometimes crying me a Noah’s Flood is the only thing moving in full force!
But the Lord said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The depth of our pain is an indication of the pinnacle awaiting in our future.
When we experience trauma, our trust in the world, our relationships, and ourselves are often broken. We heal in community and in relationship with others, not suffering ALONE in silence and isolation.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis an ACEs-aware nonprofit organization, which is part of an initiative of the Office of the California Surgeon General and the Department of Health Care Services, offering Medi-Cal providers training, clinical protocols, and payment for screening children and adults for ACEs.
Together we are working to raise awareness about the effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in hopes of building a healthier community and a brighter future for our children and future generations.
The importance of acknowledging our stressors of the past in order to thrive in the present along with practical tips to build greater resilience requires understanding how our earlier experiences influence our relationships today.
Prevention is intervention. We have to invest heavily into people’s lives and transform our prisons into healing centers! 95% of our incarcerated population will be released and will become our neighbors. If we want safe communities, we need to investNOW into their lives through rehabilitation programs leading to redemption. That requires prevention.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries aims for Folsom State Prison to be an iconic symbol of healing and wholeness where all parties (incarcerated people along with staff) transform culture together through trauma-informed practices.
Our residents inside our prisons need healing and wholeness to overcome their addiction, their anxiety, their depression, and the anger caused by a childhood filled with the trauma of abuse, neglect and household dysfunction. This trauma we’re speaking of occurs before their 18th birthday. Our families are broken and this is where we get to change the paradigm and work proactively together.
Blameless was created to provide curriculum and programs that help break the cycle of intergenerational and systemic trauma and crime. With our prisons being in lockdown for almost a year, we have our work cut out for us once we’re allowed entry back into the prisons. Lives suffering in silence and isolation poses a threat to both the individual and the stability of the setting. Connection is vital to stable mental health.
When people learn what adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are, what the typical responses are to trauma, it helps them understand themselves; why they react instead of responding, those ugly, pesky triggers; that they’re not crazy; they understand their own feelings and their behaviors, which is part of the work we’re doing and what we’re trying to help them understand.
Our men and women in prison have the highest ACE scores. Amazingly, if you have four or more ACEs, you’re seven times more likely to be incarcerated in your lifetime. We can’t forget, these traumas occur before age 18; that’s catastrophic for everyone.
Even myself, I have a score of 7 ACEs out of 10. It was bythe grace of God ONLY that He turned my traumas and household dysfunction into vessels of love and healing to engage with and walk alongside of those who are hurting, abandoned, rejected and traumatized.
I also humbly did the work because I saw what trauma has done to generations of my own amazing family and I wanted this curse severed.
Somebody has to initiate CHANGE! I pray it’s you…
As I often share my own painful traumas, I am a survivor of violent crimes (yes, plural). I was married into law enforcement. I have been a commissioned chaplain since 2010, and I also had a son incarcerated due to his own deep hurts of anger brought on by trauma growing up. I’ve worn many hats on every side of this revolving door while working in the criminal justice system, but I refuse to hide underneath a mourning veil when there are lives in need of hope and healing.
There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name! And I pray relentlessly that you can understand that prevention is intervention and it starts with us, all of us, especially the Body of Christ, NOW!!! There’s no time to waste. Time is a valuable commodity.
How Our Earliest Experiences Influence Our Relationships Today…
“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach…” (Isaiah 54:4 NIV)
Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering, according to Dr. Peter Levine, PhD, the Developer of Somatic Experiencing® A naturalistic and neurobiological approach to healing trauma that is taught in over 42 countries.
When the main thrust of programming is emotional growth, in order to get our incarcerated residents to analyze how their own anger and sadness alchemized into decisions that harmed others, it requires sitting in awkward silence so conversations can process the pain while being vulnerable.
This requires both time and devotion to building trust that initiates and draws out honest, raw, open and transparent conversations that are essential for healing and growth.
When is the last time you sat present just listening, being silent, seeking to understand before being understood?
Mattering is so important! The concept of belonging, it’s hard to hold onto if you think about it!
Meeting a basic, human, minimal need for someone is belonging; knowing that their lives matter. Resilience requires community and when we have a buffer zone, our communities become safer.
Every life has value!
The initial trauma of a young child may go underground, but it will return to haunt us! – James Garbarino
“By the time a crime is committed and a victim is harmed, the root causes of that crime may have occurred long ago.” – District Attorney Kevin Barton
Recognizing the truth from what numerous scientific studies have established, along with countless medical professionals, that children who experience neglect, abuse, socioeconomic disadvantages and other forms of trauma are more likely to suffer from challenges such as mental illness, substance-abuse disorders and even physical health consequences.
This is called adverse childhood experiences, better known as ACEs.
And when we look at the men and women who are incarcerated in the U.S., they have the highest levels of trauma and abuse in their lives, and we put them in a system that was never designed to work with that history???
Transforming our prisons through trauma-informed care is essential for healing and wholeness and restored lives for all affected by crime.
What these eyes see now matters. Every life matters! If we want safer communities, then it’s time we start changing the narrative and start investing in people, not prisons.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries’ mission is to break the cycle of crime while restoring broken lives through God’s Great Love infused with restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care.
Release and restore. A willingness to embrace discomfort is absolutely essential in being amazing ME!!!
And as long as I’m running after and worshipping other people’s approval, I will never accept myself. And as long as I never accept myself, I will never give anyone else a chance to accept me, know me, and love authentic ME!!!
Why can’t we just be?
Fear?
Hello…
When I’m trying to be in an approval-based relationship with everyone, it costs me myself and it means I can’t be in an acceptance-based relationship because I’m in a perpetual posture of rejecting myself, not accepting myself.
Ouch…
Darn it, I took the bait. Now my head is spinning as the fisherman is reeling me in.
That means I’m still a performance-based queen through my own acceptance-based fears!
That’s a hot mess…
Rejection could be for my protection, too; right?
Hard to shake off those old generational strongholds and insecurities I picked up during my own adverse childhood experiences and trauma.
We all need nurturing and belonging that clothes us with comforting connections. That’s why being authentic is so important; we won’t push others away with our insecurities and fears.
Sitting with our anxiety instead of avoiding it. No more running. It’s wasted energy. Being present is liberating! Let the awkward silence move through you.
Until we learn to actually accept ourselves, we’ll always be worshipping other people’s approval or disapproval, depending on if we’re compliant or defiant.
Why would we give another such power to control and devour?
Embracing discomfort is absolutely essential if we’re going to be ourselves and say yes to ourselves.
And I want to say “yes” to me; don’t you?
This shackling fear means we’re ALWAYS unwilling to experience the uncomfortable fear of rejection. It doesn’t always mean rejection will happen, it just means “I will feel rejection.”
I. Will. Feel. Rejection.
EVERYONE feels rejection from time to time…
And given that our self-preservation instincts tells us to stay as far away as possible from emotional pain; pain once felt from the fear of the hook, line and sinker which then released and flung us moving towards it, we became stronger and more resilient in our own acceptance.
So once I befriend and embrace the paralyzing pain delivered from the fear of rejection, it will turn this curse (fear) into blessings.
We can’t always be unwilling to experience the uncomfortable fear of rejection. We become resilient when we faith our fears and lean into it. It’s empowering.
And since my God created us in His image, with the royal blood running through our veins, it’s time to take a stand and embrace being Beautiful You with unique qualities that ONLY YOU AND I POSSESS and quit hiding and running from it.
The world NEEDS what only WE possess!!!
We hurt ourselves from trying to hide from emotional pain. Our self-preservation MAY SPEAK CONTRARY (get out of that hood), but all that’s done is rob us of the love and healing that God is waiting to pour into our lives being an overcomer.
Our Beautiful Jesus is our Christmas gift that keeps on giving and giving… 💝
When I feel I’m being approved, I have connection and belonging and an extra cup of confidence.
Connection nurtures, buffers storms by creating resilience and swaddles us tightly in our identity with Christ who alone transforms and restores.
Overcoming means we are no longer consumed by those hot tears of bitterness and rage springing up. We have more laughter than tears. More joy and less sadness. More resolve and less problems than our insecurities and fears ever birthed. More hope and less fear.
We are called APPROVED; and God is for us, not against us!
God was rejected and wounded by the unfaithfulness of His children over and over again. But His Relentless Love expressed in His pursuit to cover us with His Perfect Gift, He was wounded again by trading His Very Life for us, knowing that we may very well refuse His Great Love again and again and turn our backs!
That’s rejection at its finest, but that’s the God that we serve! He pursues over and over and over again. That’s the spark called hope!
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. – Desmond Tutu
That’s an unnatural act of Love; God’s Great Love, but we are His chosen and He continues to pursue us.
I want to love others like that.
Sit with me here…
Being vulnerable, we fear authenticity because as a child, there were times when we stepped into being our authentic selves, and we weren’t received or recognized for it. We were rejected. Shamed. Invalidated. Even abandoned or abused. Mocked! Not nurtured.
That hurt turned dark. It developed despair and discouragement that birthed depression and almost death. Every choice and behavior thereafter was triggered and built on the lies of rejection and anxiety.
Being laughed at and discarded while being authentic me has been my greatest trigger between my heart and others. And we wonder why I tried taking my own life 40 years ago?
We weren’t validated for it. Being ourselves. It might not get recognized, it may cause abandonment or worse, we will get invalidated when we are being ourselves.
But Perfect Love casts out all fear!
God’s Great Love brings people together who need others that will see them, hear them, hear their pain, and hear their heartbreak. Love wins every time!
And when we release our fears and become the restored beloveds God created and designed us to be, we become our authentic selves who are available to love on and embrace others who are struggling with the same issues.
The best things in life are oftentimes on the other side of fear. What’s holding you back? Fear of failure? Fear of change? Fear of being alone?
Join me as we run into 2021 celebrating being our authentic selves!!!
2020 sits heavy for many of us as it has been a hard year filled with challenges and unknowns. We mourn the victims of the COVID-19 pandemic, with its relentless rage throughout our communities; a year filled with natural disasters and significant loss of life and nature due to the wildfires and hurricanes; and we especially grieve the loss of beloveds who have died as a result of police violence, hate and division.
But there has been sparks of hope…
Before our Beautiful Jesus came to save us, there was darkness and unrest, kind of like our chaos nowadays. “People thought they knew what they needed, but the actuality of the birth of Jesus Christ and how He would rescue us eluded them.”
But those sparks of hope have been radiated throughout the shifting and building of Blameless’ community that is transforming and restoring lives through restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care.
As we have plowed through disheartening, troubling times that have been rather confusing, our eyes have been inspired with hope for what we value: Restored and Redeemed lives!
Watching team members embrace their gifts and experience blessings and further healing themselves while helping facilitate healing to our incarcerated community and victims of crime has been powerful recognizing how we all make up a part of the Body of Christ with our unique gifts that only each person possesses. Tapping into power!
And to hear how our incarcerated started an accountability group because our physical presence was thwarted to actively answer the calling for God in speaking truth to power and spreading messages of faith, hope, and justice was confirmation of our most treasured and valuable investment: The spiritual lives of people effected by crime and violence.
Hurt People May Hurt People, Healed People Heal, and Transformed Lives Transform Culture!
That’s letting God’s presence bring order to our thoughts, infusing His peace into our entire being, and pausing to embrace and absorb this priceless Gift of God, Jesus Christ, as our greatest gift.
Jesus was born in filth, disease and decay (like us today). Mary may have delivered and brought down heaven, but it was not in conditions that were indicative of any kingdom affluence and/or privilege.
It was not a silent night…
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David’s town.
And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother’s hand to hold.
It was a labor of pain…
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love…
Noble Joseph by her side
Calloused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
On the streets of David’s town
In the middle of the night.
So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the Maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move.
It was a labor of pain…
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love…
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was not a silent night on the streets of David’s Town;
It was a Labor of Love!
It was nothing short of a Labor of Love. Mary pondered everything the angel Gabriel delivered, the words of Elizabeth, the shepherds’ pronouncements, and the prophetic words of the Old Testament. She kept tapping into these treasures seared into her heart along with her faith and trust in God.
These treasures Mary held near to her heart are what kept her brave and strong. This radiance is what both held and lit the way during darkness.
We may not understand everything, but we can love and support while believing in others because Jesus radiates within our souls.
“When the divine life possesses the soul, it flows over in gracious ministries among our fellowmen. The affluence becomes an influence importing itself to others.” – John Henry Jowett
Jesus appeared insignificant to the world and yet, He is the most precious and priceless gift one could ever receive. Without His Love, we could not love. Without His forgiveness, we could not forgive and release the imprisonment of rage and bitterness. Without His Love, we wouldn’t have forgiveness, deliverance, and removal of guilt. Plus, when we trust in Christ for salvation, we become the Father’s beloved children.
Jesus knows what we will need during times of darkness and unrest. We may feel too lost, alone and overwhelmed to celebrate Christmas because we think we know what we need right at this moment to guard our hearts, but the actuality of the birth of Jesus Christ and how He will rescue us eludes us.
How is God’s gracious presence being displayed through our lives?
Here Mary, full of grace and God’s favor, pondered in her heart all these treasures and tucked them into folds of her heart that kept her brave and strong. This radiance is what both held and lit the way during darkness.
If Mary was highly favored and didn’t understand the gravity and depth of what her son was going to do, how can we relate that back to those who have hurt people because they’re hurt and not allow God’s grace and power to transform today’s offender into tomorrow’s neighbor?
Maybe we should choose to believe God’s Word instead of our own paralyzing and restricting fears, fears of inadequacy, and/or fears of change.
Mary mirrored what her relationship with God offered; she believed and trusted Him! Also, she chose to rely on the truths and promises of God: God loves me, He chose me, God is with me and will not forsake me. Nothing is impossible with God. This is not because of my own strength, but because of His presence.
Think about the following words…
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
And this child that you’ve delivered,will soon deliver you.
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you kiss the face of God?
Oh, Mary, did you know?
Oh, Mary did not know, yet she focused on God’s Great Love and Promises!
We will never know what God is up to unless we trust Him wholeheartedly. Yes, even when it hurts. Christmas is God’s message to us of His relentless Love.
God was first wounded by the unfaithfulness of His beloveds, and then wounded again by trading His very life for theirs, while knowing that they may very well refuse His Great Love again and turn their backs. Yet, He never stops pursuing us because He gave us this precious gift called Immanuel, “God with us.”
It is from this place on our knees that we will see Our Lord’s salvation and deliverance come upon our state prison facilities before more death overtakes.
Only God can deliver supernatural healing over this deadly pestilence now ravaging our prison communities and weary world!!!
Wherever God’s Love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18 NCV).
Love Moves Against Fear!
Thank you, Jesus, for becoming our Immanuel, “God with us.” It is because of Beautiful You that we can experience hope and true joy amidst such devastation and death.
Jesus, you see our state prison facilities. We’ve lost any and all containment now and thousands upon thousands are getting sick and dying daily. Our state prisons are under attack due to #COVID-19’s chaos, crisis and destruction and we need a major prayer covering for order and control.
There are incarcerated people, corrections staff, their families, your families, my friends, the Body of Christ, and our communities. What happens in prison does not stay in prison! We need God’s direct intervention to restrain #COVID-19!
We should all want to come together in order to defeat the lies and division of the enemy and pull heaven down! What happens in prison does not stay in prison! This is what community is and does! It does not discriminate, it supports and works together to build and protect!
What a beautiful picture of unity blossoming! Coming together builds STRONG bridges of opportunities for healing.
How Great Thou Art! How Great Thou Art! It is from this place on our knees that we see Our Lord’s salvation and deliverance come.
‘Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn: Fall on your knees. Oh, hear the angel voices! O night divine! O night when Christ was born.
He knows our need. To our weakness no stranger! Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend! Behold your King! Your King! Before Him Bend!
When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
And then proclaim, my God, How Great Thou Art!
He knows our need. To our weakness no stranger! Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend! Behold your King! Your King! Before Him Bend!
Violence Behind Bars Is Inescapable & Traumatizing…
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries understands that as we sojourn with our Beautiful Jesus back inside our state prison facilities; with society’s obsession with punishment, our job is to also help society understand that cages and violent justice only perpetuates violence and IT WILL NOT break the cycle of evil and/or deliver any healing.
If today’s offender will be tomorrow’s neighbor, prison may be necessary for a time, but it is not a solution to evil and crime.
God has showered us with heaven’s rain seeing goodness overcome evil through forgiveness as relationships between victims, offenders, families and staff have become reconciled and restored.
But…
If justice is accomplished by solely locking a person up in prison as punishment, how can we expect that this will somehow accomplish a betterment of a person who has done evil or even make our communities safer?
Incarcerated beloveds rarely return back to society as a morally better person. They usually re-enter society more broken and damaged than before incarceration.
Regardless of the conditions of the confinement or adaptation of incarceration to institutionalized life, our prisons DO NOT make “bad” men and women “good.” Prisons do not overcome or erase the evil that lurks within the human heart. That takes the power of healing, transformation and redemption.
With our state prisons being in lockdown this year due to COVID-19 leading to isolation, suffering in silence, Blameless understands the importance of shifting the narrative by bringing awareness to what our incarcerated go through. This includes the violence they’re subjected to at times, how and why prisons are factories of racism, the mundane nature of it all, along with sharing that there’s not an easy six-to-eight-week course program that one can take that will deliver healing results.
It’s going to take extra grace and commitment establishing relationships, finding the need behind the need, what triggers their behaviors for accountability purposes, and start pulling down layer by layer of the traumas associated with their lives and crimes.
Our incarcerated lives matter and they have value. They are more than worth the time and commitment needed for healing and restoration.
This article and new report by Prison Policy is too important not to start off with taking bits and pieces for a good week to talk about. This is prison life.
We have had increased suicides. We have had significant rioting and killings. Suffering in silence increases mental illness and rage. They have suffered sickness and death due to COVID. The anxiety is real and it’s powerful. It’s dark and it will slay you if you’re not careful.
The plague of violence behind bars is often overlooked and ignored. And when it does receive public attention, a discussion of the effects on those forced to witness this violence is almost always absent.
Most people in prison want to return home to their families without incident, and without adding time to their sentences by participating in further violence. But during their incarceration, many people become unwilling witnesses to horrific and traumatizing violence, as brought to light in a February publication by Professors Meghan Novisky and Robert Peralta.
Participants reported witnessing frequent, brutal acts of violence, including stabbings, attacks with scalding substances, multi-person assaults, and murder. They also described the lingering effects of witnessing these traumatic events, including hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, and avoidance.
We can never lose sight of the fact that “these traumatic events affect health and social function in ways that are not so different from the aftereffects faced by survivors of direct violence and war.”
We pray after reading this study from Prison Policy, you understand a glimpse of what our incarcerated beloveds are subjected to. This way maybe you’ll become a recipient of such incredible and amazing grace yourself that you respond to offenders beyond a “tit for tat” and “eye for eye” justice. Click here…
I repeatedly watched my father’s beat-into-submission cornering of my mother through rage and control while clutching a beer in his left hand. His dangling right hand empowered with flexibility slapped away our quivering lips and stilled our own screams into silence and defeat.
Sometimes pain crushes you. It leaves you incapable of love and void of everything. The brokenness craters a deep wound. Tears no longer roll down your cheeks and screams won’t escape past your lips. Instead, the force brews inside until its burn shatters your broken soul.
I never felt safe or protected after being exposed to these gut-punching realities. I continued to bury the tears and fears that formed a glacier surrounding my heart in ice.
From the weight and movement of my own childhood trauma, this powerful force began to flow outward and downward under its own pressure taking down anyone and everything that was in its path of erosion.
The tears may have initially escaped my eyes, but the shame of the hurt ran away down my cheeks and lingered deeply. Turning my pain inward only regressed my fears and caused a battle within of chaos and unbearable burning.
Feelings that once masked any trace of childhood trauma were now visible. One day after my father died, I noticed how my own reactive behaviors modeled his. My dad may have died, but his life of pain and rage was very much still alive; within me.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, with lifelong health and opportunity.
Working together, we can help create neighborhoods, communities, and a world in which every person can survive and thrive.
Creating opportunities for healing inside our state prisons requires connection and communication, not isolation. Sometimes all it takes is a person filled with God’s Great Love, hope and compassion who has been healed themselves to help uncover unhealthy behaviors that are destroying everyone in its path. This builds bridges of healing.
If we’re not open to discussions leading to what triggers violent behavior, how are we going to experience the peace and transformation that restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care delivers?
About me… For starters, I proudly wear the crown in being Grammy Tammy. I was graced with a princess granddaughter after raising, and surviving, rambunctious sons. All I knew besides being knee deep in stinky socks, baseballs and Tonka trucks, were starving boys and enamored, pestering girls. Now a whole new world of tiaras and tutus and bright pink manicures-pedicures enriches each day along with giggles and princess kisses.
On a more serious note, I am a beach girl raised in good ‘ole Southern California. When I’m traveling abound and running through airports, I am often asked if I was raised in the south due to my Tammy Flare. I jokingly reply, “Well, you could say so. I grew up in beautiful San Diego County. That is in the south, you know!”
I am living each day as a treasured daughter who has embraced God’s grace, determined to leave a legacy of love through the realm of advocacy. Being a “Voice” for those who have lost theirs through the imprisonment of abuse and addiction, along with suffering from great trauma and violence, is an honor to glorify my Beautiful Jesus.
Because the Lord turned my ashes (pain) into beauty, after 20 years working in the law profession combined with another seven years serving as a chaplain, obviously attending the law enforcement chaplaincy academy wasn’t enough academia, the Lord called me back to school. College life is hard enough for a 20-year-old, much less a woman in her Fabulous 50s.
I am proud to say I graduated Magna Cum Laude and am a lifetime honorary scholastic member of Alpha Lambda Delta while accomplishing my Bachelor’s of Science in Religion, with a minor in church ministries. But… and I preface it with a big BUT… I am forever working on my Master’s of Divinity. Some day! I’m Grammy Tammy; doing everything backwards!
I know all too well the life application meaning of Philippians 4:13 at its finest: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So hard, but so rewarding!
You will find quite often that I refer to myself as being “high maintenance” in my writings. This “high maintenance” tag is just another lucid term I use to describe my pathetic Tammy Tantrum fits. Seeing a near six-foot-tall woman pout and cry hysterically explains my extreme need for time with my Lord.
I love my Jesus and when I find His radiance has taken a backseat to the cast-iron horns emerging from my head while flaming arrows are spewing out of my mouth (quite the visualization, huh?), initiating a meltdown consisting of toddler tantrums, I realize rather quickly my great need for my Goditude time; solitude time with my Papa God.
Since I’ve been an advocate for those without a voice due to trauma and abuse, creating addictions and depression (all of which I have walked through myself), I understand the hurt, the loss and sorrow of a bleeding heart. I want to share with other Beloveds my story with a twist: Being an Advocate for the Word instead!
One great reason why I served on Folsom State Prison’s Inmate Family Council; everyone deserves to be loved and supported!
We can all have many degrees, licenses and certifications too numerous to count and list, but my heart’s desire is to introduce God’s Great Love to everyone I encounter. If we could only understand that hurt people hurt others, we would be able to leave room for the concept that healed people heal also!
When you’ve become healed and transformed from a life filled with trauma and violence (yes, I’m a survivor of violent crimes), your engagement with others becomes an honor as you sojourn this side of heaven present. Being able to lean into the very heartbeat of Jesus experiencing His heart and soul (mission) allows you to pour into others and speak words of life over them paving the way towards healing.
How does one circle back through that trauma to organizing a nonprofit that served our homeless population for almost three years and then transitioned into the lives of our incarcerated with all the darkness and danger?
Well, as Mother Theresa said, “I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper’s wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord Himself. Is it not a beautiful experience?”
Hence, where the concept of “A Beautiful You” came from.
That’s why I organized Blameless and Forever Free Ministries; it is built upon understanding that many of our incarcerated have suffered great trauma and violence themselves which doesn’t get addressed. We operate as Advocates and Ambassadors of Hope for restorative justice.
Restorative justice is responding to crime and violence in a way that transforms the focus through A.R.T.: Shifting punishment to responsibility (Accountability), leaning into rehabilitation and restoration (Reintegration), leading to redemption (Transformation).
We believe all of mankind is created in God’s image; therefore, we are God’s masterpiece, His works of ART!
The greatest gift I pray you take away is how much God loves you. He loves it when we take the time to open up His Word and snuggle in tight learning about His nature, goodness and sovereignty. He wants to pour healing into our hearts by speaking affirmations and truths. Cleaving and pressing into the Lord escorts us into the presence of what it’s like to be truly loved! The worth and value is overwhelming; be-loved and be-valued and be-healed!
Tammy Ingram 