Through Challenges and Adversity, We Build Strength!
Hi Friends, Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is excited to announce and introduce our new Women’s Director, Donna Sieverin, who will help lead our women incarcerated towards healing and wholeness at Folsom Women’s Facility. God was generous in blessing Blameless with Donna to help facilitate our programming, “Suffering in Silence,” to the many women behind bars at FWF.
About Donna…
Donna understands generational dysfunction as well as how God sees endless potential for redemption. God pursues and His Love never relents!
Being adopted by parents who were doing their best as alcoholics to raise their children, along with masking over the pain delivered from the sting of abandonment and rejection, this slowly led Donna to find more comfort and dependency on her next fix; you know, getting high just to get by. This substance misuse led her spiraling down a highway to hell with absolutely no exit or offramp.
Several arrests later and a couple incarceration stays for numerous crimes devoted solely to satisfy her fix, Donna found Jesus in prison all due to an honorable judge in drug court who believed in a different approach.
Donna was blessed to have her record expunged, and her heart wants to lean into helping other women find peace and God’s Great Love in their lives so they can be a productive member of society and be accepted as our new neighbor.
All lives have value! We can’t forget, 95% of our incarcerated residents are going to be our neighbor some day; ready or not, here they come. Let’s embrace them with rehabilitative programming and BE READY!
When we let God have our lives, He can do far more with it than even we dare to imagine!
For the incarcerated residents that Blameless and Forever Free Ministries impacts, transformation occurs through God’s Great Love, coupled with connectedness, awareness and vulnerability.
⚓️ Connectedness is the relational anchor ⚓️
For our incarcerated to understand themselves and their actions, Blameless believes it requires understanding their history; and that includes generational familial dysfunction. After all, the “emotional residue of our past follows us.” -Dr. Bruce Perry
Until the wounds of our childhood traumas are healed, we will continue to bleed. The wounds will bleed through and stain our lives, whether it’s through drugs, alcohol, incarceration, etc.
It takes community/belonging to equip them with the courage to pull out the arrow, the deep wound, and begin to heal. That is what our workbook, “Suffering in Silence,” offers with God’s amazing grace.
With such a high demand, on this #GivingTuesday, Nov. 30, we pray that you will find it in your heart to support the distribution of our “Suffering in Silence” programming that is helping foster transformation through redemption and rehabilitation in our state prisons.
I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one… (Ezekiel 22:30, MSG).
Is your faith true and strong enough to stand in the gap and bring healing in the Name of Love Himself?
Many of us profess our faith is deep and legit; yet, there is NO evidence of any fruit. Sitting in the pews every Sunday does not illustrate anything but religious mindsets filled with judgment, fear and condemnation.
If we’ve been touched by the love of God, that LOVE cannot stay contained within. This Great Love affair will burst forward with actions filled with tender mercies and gratuitous hearts that fully expose and radiate the fruit of our Spirit.
Where does our relationship with Jesus, the Love of the Father, fit in with all the deceit claiming that obedience is only required within the four walls of our congregations and its members?
God blesses each of us so we can be a blessing to others.
How can we say we are “a part” of the Body of Christ without standing in the gap to bring healing to the bruised and hurt lives without any action?
How Few Workers!
When Jesus looked out over the crowds, His heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!“ He said to His disciples. “How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!“ (Matthew 9:35-38, MSG).
Standing in the gap is defined as “to expose oneself for the protection of something; to make defense against any assailing danger; to take the place of a fallen defender or supporter.”
95% of our incarcerated will be released from our prisons and soon become our neighbors. We are commanded as believers to “love our neighbor as ourselves” and that means building relational communities that help bring healing, wholeness and rehabilitation into broken lives.
That is, after all, what we call redemption. This is what being A PART of the Body ofChrist is.
When we love one another, we remember we are not fighting for just ourselves, but we are fighting for humanity that the Word calls for in 1 John 4:7.
Did you know that, according to one Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, which surveyed adults across the U.S. in late June of 2020, 31% of respondents reported some form of mental health care symptoms and are in need of proper mental health treatment?
And with the largest mental health institution in the United States being our prison system, the sobering number of unmet mental health needs is heartbreaking.
The beloveds thatBlameless and Forever Free Ministries pours into may be imprisoned and/or recently released from state prison, but the connective tissue of true rehabilitation is in the transforming of one’s mind requiring relational community.
Every individual who has been incarcerated has a great need for appropriate mental health care treatment both during their incarceration and once released back into community.
Let’s face it, if you’ve committed a crime, there’s trauma behind it.
And to love one another, forgiveness is necessary (not negating the crime) along with meeting them right where they are at developmentally.
Building healthy individuals and families should be our number one priority so we have a fighting chance at safer communities and developing healthy generations.
Future generations, meaning YOUR children and your children’s children, are being formed this very moment and what those little eyes see and hear now matters.
Sunday marked the beginning of National Correctional Officers Week, which honors correctional staff everywhere for the dedication and commitment they show each and every day in their profession.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis honored to know many outstanding Correctional Officers, especially from Folsom State Prison, that deserve recognition and who go above and beyond the call of duty.
Even though COs have to constantly monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated population and incoming visitors, they engage with the family members and friends of the incarcerated, too, who all too often are subjected to harsh judgment and disregard.
Tragically, on July 2, 2020, Folsom State Prison lost one of its valuable Correctional Officers named Tawfic K. Rashid. Officer Rashid left behind his beautiful bride, Katie, and three amazing children to continue in his legacy of honor and service.
Officer Rashid was always out for an adventure! He served his country and retired from the U.S. Army after 20 years of service and dedication, then served as a Correctional Officer at Folsom State Prison for three years.
Officer Rashid kept order and control through his quiet confidence while enforcing rules. His respect and kindness towards everyone who entered the prison grounds were greeted with grace and respect while performing his duties.
During his time at FSP, we were blessed with his invaluable inquisition commanding safety and scrutiny through his benign quirkiness. His kindness was extended to all, but his respect for humanity extended far beyond the prison walls.
Of notable mention, when one extends and acknowledges the value and worth of all humanity, namely the incarcerated and their loved ones, as they’re waiting in the pain, eating the bread of adversity and water of affliction, it radiates one’s character of dignity and honor that cannot be dimmed nor refuted. It also changes the cold and sterile environment inside prison walls.
Sure, Officer Rashid had success with his ability to monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated and visiting-member population, but the aforementioned set him apart from others, and that is why we are honored to nominate his life as one whose conduct should be mirrored. Just one reason why he was able to enforce rules and keep order in the prison so easily during his shifts.
Reflecting on the depth of despair that must have been present on Good Friday, it feels unfathomable to encounter such forgiveness that Jesus extended towards those who not only condemned and executed Him, but the criminals hanging alongside of Him as He awaited His execution.
Here we become so hurt and violated over petty assaults stemming from moments of disregard, gossip, and hurled insults. But to proclaim this unimaginable mercy as one looks down on those condemning Him, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34), it’s obvious we have no idea of the resurrection power that is available to us and at work in us.
Whoever thought love, forgiveness and second chances would require resurrection power? We generally lean inward to self to believe we’re only talking about our failures, our sins, our mistakes and our regrets.
Oh, how I want to love like Jesus!
Don’t you?
Everything Jesus did for us, He did out of love. God showed His Great Love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). God didn’t just say He loved us, He showed us.
Love is an action that we tend to forget that requires active participation; loving when we don’t feel like it. We want it OUR WAY AND WHEN WE FEEL LIKE LOVING!!!
Easter shows us the depth and width of God’s Great Love. The Bible says in Psalm 57:3 that God will send down help from heaven to save us because of His Love. That’s what Jesus did on Easter. Jesus came from heaven to save us because of His amazing love.
And when they came to the place that is called “The Skull,” they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on His right and one on His left (Luke 23:33).
Amazing how Jesus is still showing His Love as He takes the works of the crucifixion and turns it into the first “Christian community” placing emphasis on the criminals alongside of Him.
A Christian community is when two or more are gathered together. Jesus established the first Christian Community with prisoners. The Word declares it, For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20).
Jesus may have appeared insignificant to the world; yet, He is our greatest gift that keeps on giving and our greatest advocate! Without His Great Love, we surely could not love. Without His forgiveness, we truly could not forgive and release the imprisonment of rage and bitterness.
This is the beauty and power of the resurrection as Good Friday Meets Jesus On Death Row. When Jesus stretched His arms out as wide as the cross, He was saying, “I love you this much! I love you to eternity. I love you so much, it hurts. I love you so much, I’ll die for you so that I won’t have to live without you.”
Knowing I’m loved like that, transforms and unleashes courage to be all He says I am and can be!
Isn’t that why we’re told to love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins?
Because of what Jesus did for us on Good Friday, leading to Resurrection Sunday (Easter), forgiveness reminds us that we cannot diminish human beings. “We’re all capable of being better than our worst selves.”
They crucified Jesus with criminals, and there’s good reason Jesus made it a point to draw our focus towards those incarcerated both at the beginning of His ministry (Luke 4:18-19) and all the way to the end (Matthew 25:35-36).
The Church is challenged to Call For Abolition by advocating for the repeal of capital punishment. This requires the Body of Christ to walk out through LOVE human dignity that requires us to build opportunities for healing, community and redemption.
We can’t just pretend to love others. We have to really love them!!! Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good (Romans 12:9).
This is a picture of a GROUP THERAPY session at California’s San Quentin Prison. Personally, all I can see is an animalistic inkling.
This is how some of our men and women incarcerated live; for many years also. They go from one cage to another. Residing in these tiny cages 23 hours a day. They are put in there for disciplinary reasons, SAFETY concerns and/or investigative reasons, but…
After just a couple of hours, psychological warfare sets in.
There’s a line here. Has to be! One etched in dignity. Like Brene’ Brown said, Dehumanizing others crosses that line. And it still sadly exists today, even though it obviously never worked to rehabilitate, make communities that are safer, and/or decrease recidivism rates and crime with over 2.2 million people incarcerated in the U.S.
Wonder why???
It’s a process of stripping all mental capacities which deprives them of human qualities and makes them appear less human, creating animalistic qualities full of rage, if you ask me. There’s nothing rehabilitative and transforming in this inhumane treatment.
They do need to serve their time for their crime; however, but in this setting/time out that can last years, it just creates more rage and violence. Imagine years like this!!!
Their lives need redemption and it’s kind of hard to identify and change old behavioral problems due to their own childhood traumas and deep wounds in this environment. This just reinforces their hostile triggers and reactions that they never learned to deal with because of generational dysfunction and/or systemic trauma with nobody taking the time to invest into their lives and teach them the tools necessary for success.
This is not an acceptable form of rehabilitation, this is creating more problems and more violence. They need skills and environments conducive to healing and wholeness that a sterile cage cannot deliver.
If you stuck me inside one of those cages for more than a couple hours, even with all my favorite books, I’d become crazy and hostile too, much less for years. Being provoked doesn’t take much when you’re stuck in a cage being treated like an animal and mocked with no one to speak with/to or engage in conversation with.
The ground turns into some pretty scary hallucinations, I’m sure.
And if you’re not coached/led to some form of self-reflection and community, you’re never going to understand how to exist in community as a productive member of society that you struggled with in the first place due to your poor choices and decisions that contributed to your incarceration. Therefore, you will continue to exist through this revolving door of repeated criminal conduct and state prison with many more people suffering due to being unhealed and this dysfunctional behavior.
Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!
It’s sad! A travesty. I get all sides being a survivor of violent crimes myself, being a chaplain, marrying once into law enforcement/corrections, along with a son who did time, but this is inhumane and it’s not solving anything except for throwing the keys away of residents whose lives do matter, have value and can be redeemed and transformed.
That’s the power of our beautiful Jesus, He’s in the business of transforming lives, and I’ve been honored to witness it! That’s what prisons and/or healing centers are supposed to deliver, transformed lives. Sadly, the deep hurts that led the men and women to prison in the first place are RARELY dealt with. In fact, we release them back into society in worse shape than when they entered state prison. That’s scary and not building safer communities. And now you can see why.
This is just an easy way to pocket the money of taxpayers that should be going to programs that actually change lives, restore and bring healing to all affected by crime, especially the victims.
And the scary and sad thing about this is, our residents have been suffering in silence locked up now for over a year without programming and/or visitation from loved ones due to COVID and we wonder why they’re so full of anxiety, rage and suicidal ideation right now. We have our work cut out for us once we get back inside our state prisons to facilitate programming.
Talk about a humanitarian crisis!
That’s the end of that honest narrative in Tammy Tangent fashion. Guess I needed to purge my own frustrations in what others are trying to cover over. Amazing what God exposes at times.
And our prisons are filled with wounded souls that need healing. This requires connection, community, compassion and safe places for healing to begin.
Ready or not, 95% of our incarcerated residents will be released as our neighbor!
Sexual Assault Against Boys Is A Crisis
It’s far more common than we think. Below are a couple of great articles shedding light as to why we don’t talk about it. It’s far more pervasive than we think.
Discussions regarding sexual violence against boys and men need not be uncomfortable and awkward, but it will require honest, open and transparent communications that require listening and engagement.
I share, taking 15 minutes of time invested in this reading will save souls, maybe even the lives of our own future children, their children and/or our grandchildren.
Sexual violence against boys is far more common than we think. And since Sundays seem to be the perfect day Blameless lays out and exposes hard issues, we’ll continue because our sons, grandsons and future generations, heck ALL BOYS and MEN for that matter, are invaluable members of the Body of Christ and when they’re being attacked, we need to have the courage to stand in the gap with them.
Jesus wants our eyes open through the lens of love and Sabbath days are perfect days to chew on tough matters. If we want to raise boys differently, we must start believing that they are equally capable of feeling pain AND doing violence.
Just reading these couple articles will help empower awareness and shed light to toxic stress, trauma, the reality of our dark culture, and open up a dialogue exposing behaviors of generational household dysfunction that would even think that hazing and bullying are acceptable behaviors, much less without also addressing violence against men and boys.
This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is now adding the incarcerated families to our curriculum to work through some household dysfunctional issues with the residents at Folsom State Prison because there’s an intergenerational link tied to the revolving door of our lives that needs addressing and exposure to sever the strongholds.
After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name! And in order to receive healing, we must name it and that requires intention.
The article below is from the Washington Post and it sheds so much light as to why we don’t want to talk about matters concerning boys and men in being sexually violated and how and why we need to engage in these tough questions and conversations.
So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.
God Is Love
Those who are loved by God, let His love continually pour from you to one another, because God is love. Everyone who loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him. The one who doesn’t love has yet to know God, for God is love. The light of God’s love shined within us when He sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through Him (1 John 4:7-9).
This is love: He loved us long before we loved Him. it was His love, not ours. He proved it by sending His Son to be the pleasing sacrificial offering to take away our sins.
Delightfully loved ones, if He loved us with such tremendous love, then “loving one another” should be our way of life!
LOVE softens traumatic memories. Memories of being loved that we can access or create help us tolerate suffering.
It all comes down to love!
For all my friends who are overcoming being traumatized; there is no shame in being traumatized. God’s Love is so amazing, we need to focus on giving ourselves credit for being resilient enough to survive our adverse experiences along with surviving our difficult childhoods.
Our hidden wounds are healing now that we have the courage to address them with understanding, compassion and skill.
Cheers to viewing this suffering as a challenging experience that called us to acquire new inner strengths and coping skills. That’s part of the healing process in being the courageous, transitional person in our family tree that breaks the cycle of suffering. Hallelujah!
Daughters raised with a father’s love are more likely to feel worthy of love, and less likely to seek love in unhealthy ways.
Tracing Your Family’s Cycle Of Alcohol Misuse Can Help Break The Generational Familial Cycle
As we are writing our new programming for our residents at Folsom State Prison, one thing has become extremely heavy on my heart: We have to stop hiding and denying our generational strongholds.
Don’t we all want safer communities, unity and peace?
I sure do!
Why are we so ashamed to dig in and start shifting the paradigm by talking about our struggles that led us into this mass incarceration fiasco through honest, open and transparent conversations?
Building healthy communities requires open communication, not hiding behind our facades/screens/pretentiousness.
My own personal tragedy opened my eyes to a need and cause worthy of all cost and exposure! After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!
Having those shackles removed is liberating!
The longer we hide behind our Sunday facades of Christianity or pride, denying there’s a problem from the shame, judgment and fear, more lives will be lost. We will never have peace and/or healing and each generation will become more volatile and violent.
Our prisons are already filled with over 2.2 million broken beloveds. That’s not counting their families and those precious littles who’ll fall into hurting children grow into hurting adults, so it’s urgent we start transforming our prisons into healing centers.
This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis dedicated to delivering ACE-aware curriculum that breaks the cycle of intergenerational and systemic trauma and crime merging both the good news of the gospel along with the proven neuroscience in collaboration with the ACEs Aware initiative.
Restoring broken lives through God’s Great Love infused with restorative justice practices in order to decrease criminal recidivism requires focusing on the effects of early life experiences and environmental change, and that includes the family and all of its dysfunction.
Show me “One Family”
that doesn’t have dysfunction!!!
We’re not doing anyone good by denying it; the struggle is real!
At Blameless we aim for Folsom State Prison to be an iconic symbol of healing and wholeness where all parties (staff, residents AND loved ones) transform culture through trauma-informed practices and resiliency.
Incorporating the families into the curriculum during this extensive isolation period is necessary in dealing with unresolved trauma, which includes addictive behaviors, an inability to deal with conflict, anxiety, confusion, depression or that innate belief that we have no value.
No Value?
Basic human need is belonging; knowing“I MATTER!”
Individuals who have the capacity for intimacy and connection believe that they belong and are connected to others are opportunities that usher in healing. We have to reestablish this safety zone.
This closeness should come through the family, right? We need our loved ones involved now more than ever as we campaign for 3,000 tablets for programming for each resident at FSP!
This is the story of our amazing Lord who meets us in our pain and is using every heartache for something bigger than we could ever ask for or imagine.
Jesus didn’t suffer so we would stay broken, He came to redeem lives and bring healing.
One thing we know about people who are traumatized, is that a supportive family and a sense of community lessens the impact of the trauma. We need to become healing organizations and start valuing all of mankind.
Every life has value!
I decided to start this awareness campaign on Sunday since it’s generally celebrated as the Sabbath and admit, if I didn’t have an allergic reaction and sensitivity to alcohol, I’d be the first person to uncork a bottle of my favorite Jesus Juice any time.
I’m not here to judge. I’m here to bring awareness to one trauma that fills up our state prisons along with watching a few of my own friends leaning into increased drinking due to the loneliness they’re feeling being socially distanced.
It took an allergic reaction a couple of years ago to help me understand the many underlining strongholds that are associated with addictive behaviors, like abuse and depression, that my own family lineage passed down.
Time to sever the dysfunction and that requires awareness and tools for identification!
Our prisons are filled with beloveds that have the highest ACE scores. With four or more ACEs, you’re seven times more likely to become incarcerated in your lifetime.
T.R.A.U.M.A.
As Dr. Robert Anda, Co-Principal Investigator on the ACE-Study, writes, “Growing up with alcohol abusing parents is strongly related to the risk of experiencing other categories of ACEs.”
In other words, a parent’s alcohol misuse causes drinking behaviors; drinking behaviors cause secondhand drinking – the negative impacts of a person’s drinking behaviors on others, such as:
verbal, physical, emotional abuse;
neglect;
unpredictable behaviors;
parents separate or divorce;
alcohol-related domestic violence;
alcohol-related crime that results in incarceration.
These drinking behaviors, in turn, cause ACEs to a child, such as:
physical, verbal, sexual abuse
physical, emotional neglect
living with a problem drinker or alcoholic
parents separated or divorced
incarcerated family member.
domestic violence against one’s mother.
We encourage you to use this wonderful template that’s been created to trace a Family’s ACEs Tree (click here to download) hoping it will help you in understanding the familial cycle of alcohol misuse in your own family.
Please understand, we’re not suggesting that just because one knows their Family ACEs Tree excuses or even minimizes or erases the impacts of their own traumas, nor does it stop the triggers one still experiences as a consequence of those ACEs.
Rather, we pray that it will help with the healing process, by developing pacifying and reassuring techniques to counter those impacts, and in time,to forgive — to forgive oneself and those whom hurt them so deeply.
And that forgiveness can be as simple as letting go of the yearning for a different outcome by understanding that everyone was doing the best they could with the tools they had at the time and/or what they knew at the time — which was likely — well, another novel.
The Depth Of Our Pain Is An Indication Of The Pinnacle Awaiting In Our Future!
Everybody’s screaming for a different story right now, drinking and smoking more, through all the unknowns, the diseases, the division, and the despair from loneliness and death, but I’M NOT!!!
Well…
Honestly, I am suffering with my greatest health crisis ever right now, but my Lord doesn’t leave us to our own strength to conquer these summits alone. He simply asks us to trust and remember that when we’re weak, He is strong!
I admit, when the physical and emotional pain is unbearable and you literally can’t move, sometimes crying me a Noah’s Flood is the only thing moving in full force!
But the Lord said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The depth of our pain is an indication of the pinnacle awaiting in our future.
When we experience trauma, our trust in the world, our relationships, and ourselves are often broken. We heal in community and in relationship with others, not suffering ALONE in silence and isolation.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis an ACEs-aware nonprofit organization, which is part of an initiative of the Office of the California Surgeon General and the Department of Health Care Services, offering Medi-Cal providers training, clinical protocols, and payment for screening children and adults for ACEs.
Together we are working to raise awareness about the effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in hopes of building a healthier community and a brighter future for our children and future generations.
The importance of acknowledging our stressors of the past in order to thrive in the present along with practical tips to build greater resilience requires understanding how our earlier experiences influence our relationships today.
Prevention is intervention. We have to invest heavily into people’s lives and transform our prisons into healing centers! 95% of our incarcerated population will be released and will become our neighbors. If we want safe communities, we need to investNOW into their lives through rehabilitation programs leading to redemption. That requires prevention.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries aims for Folsom State Prison to be an iconic symbol of healing and wholeness where all parties (incarcerated people along with staff) transform culture together through trauma-informed practices.
Our residents inside our prisons need healing and wholeness to overcome their addiction, their anxiety, their depression, and the anger caused by a childhood filled with the trauma of abuse, neglect and household dysfunction. This trauma we’re speaking of occurs before their 18th birthday. Our families are broken and this is where we get to change the paradigm and work proactively together.
Blameless was created to provide curriculum and programs that help break the cycle of intergenerational and systemic trauma and crime. With our prisons being in lockdown for almost a year, we have our work cut out for us once we’re allowed entry back into the prisons. Lives suffering in silence and isolation poses a threat to both the individual and the stability of the setting. Connection is vital to stable mental health.
When people learn what adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are, what the typical responses are to trauma, it helps them understand themselves; why they react instead of responding, those ugly, pesky triggers; that they’re not crazy; they understand their own feelings and their behaviors, which is part of the work we’re doing and what we’re trying to help them understand.
Our men and women in prison have the highest ACE scores. Amazingly, if you have four or more ACEs, you’re seven times more likely to be incarcerated in your lifetime. We can’t forget, these traumas occur before age 18; that’s catastrophic for everyone.
Even myself, I have a score of 7 ACEs out of 10. It was bythe grace of God ONLY that He turned my traumas and household dysfunction into vessels of love and healing to engage with and walk alongside of those who are hurting, abandoned, rejected and traumatized.
I also humbly did the work because I saw what trauma has done to generations of my own amazing family and I wanted this curse severed.
Somebody has to initiate CHANGE! I pray it’s you…
As I often share my own painful traumas, I am a survivor of violent crimes (yes, plural). I was married into law enforcement. I have been a commissioned chaplain since 2010, and I also had a son incarcerated due to his own deep hurts of anger brought on by trauma growing up. I’ve worn many hats on every side of this revolving door while working in the criminal justice system, but I refuse to hide underneath a mourning veil when there are lives in need of hope and healing.
There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name! And I pray relentlessly that you can understand that prevention is intervention and it starts with us, all of us, especially the Body of Christ, NOW!!! There’s no time to waste. Time is a valuable commodity.
How Our Earliest Experiences Influence Our Relationships Today…
“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach…” (Isaiah 54:4 NIV)
Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering, according to Dr. Peter Levine, PhD, the Developer of Somatic Experiencing® A naturalistic and neurobiological approach to healing trauma that is taught in over 42 countries.
When the main thrust of programming is emotional growth, in order to get our incarcerated residents to analyze how their own anger and sadness alchemized into decisions that harmed others, it requires sitting in awkward silence so conversations can process the pain while being vulnerable.
This requires both time and devotion to building trust that initiates and draws out honest, raw, open and transparent conversations that are essential for healing and growth.
When is the last time you sat present just listening, being silent, seeking to understand before being understood?
Mattering is so important! The concept of belonging, it’s hard to hold onto if you think about it!
Meeting a basic, human, minimal need for someone is belonging; knowing that their lives matter. Resilience requires community and when we have a buffer zone, our communities become safer.
Every life has value!
The initial trauma of a young child may go underground, but it will return to haunt us! – James Garbarino
“By the time a crime is committed and a victim is harmed, the root causes of that crime may have occurred long ago.” – District Attorney Kevin Barton
Recognizing the truth from what numerous scientific studies have established, along with countless medical professionals, that children who experience neglect, abuse, socioeconomic disadvantages and other forms of trauma are more likely to suffer from challenges such as mental illness, substance-abuse disorders and even physical health consequences.
This is called adverse childhood experiences, better known as ACEs.
And when we look at the men and women who are incarcerated in the U.S., they have the highest levels of trauma and abuse in their lives, and we put them in a system that was never designed to work with that history???
Transforming our prisons through trauma-informed care is essential for healing and wholeness and restored lives for all affected by crime.
What these eyes see now matters. Every life matters! If we want safer communities, then it’s time we start changing the narrative and start investing in people, not prisons.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries’ mission is to break the cycle of crime while restoring broken lives through God’s Great Love infused with restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care.
Release and restore. A willingness to embrace discomfort is absolutely essential in being amazing ME!!!
And as long as I’m running after and worshipping other people’s approval, I will never accept myself. And as long as I never accept myself, I will never give anyone else a chance to accept me, know me, and love authentic ME!!!
Why can’t we just be?
Fear?
Hello…
When I’m trying to be in an approval-based relationship with everyone, it costs me myself and it means I can’t be in an acceptance-based relationship because I’m in a perpetual posture of rejecting myself, not accepting myself.
Ouch…
Darn it, I took the bait. Now my head is spinning as the fisherman is reeling me in.
That means I’m still a performance-based queen through my own acceptance-based fears!
That’s a hot mess…
Rejection could be for my protection, too; right?
Hard to shake off those old generational strongholds and insecurities I picked up during my own adverse childhood experiences and trauma.
We all need nurturing and belonging that clothes us with comforting connections. That’s why being authentic is so important; we won’t push others away with our insecurities and fears.
Sitting with our anxiety instead of avoiding it. No more running. It’s wasted energy. Being present is liberating! Let the awkward silence move through you.
Until we learn to actually accept ourselves, we’ll always be worshipping other people’s approval or disapproval, depending on if we’re compliant or defiant.
Why would we give another such power to control and devour?
Embracing discomfort is absolutely essential if we’re going to be ourselves and say yes to ourselves.
And I want to say “yes” to me; don’t you?
This shackling fear means we’re ALWAYS unwilling to experience the uncomfortable fear of rejection. It doesn’t always mean rejection will happen, it just means “I will feel rejection.”
I. Will. Feel. Rejection.
EVERYONE feels rejection from time to time…
And given that our self-preservation instincts tells us to stay as far away as possible from emotional pain; pain once felt from the fear of the hook, line and sinker which then released and flung us moving towards it, we became stronger and more resilient in our own acceptance.
So once I befriend and embrace the paralyzing pain delivered from the fear of rejection, it will turn this curse (fear) into blessings.
We can’t always be unwilling to experience the uncomfortable fear of rejection. We become resilient when we faith our fears and lean into it. It’s empowering.
And since my God created us in His image, with the royal blood running through our veins, it’s time to take a stand and embrace being Beautiful You with unique qualities that ONLY YOU AND I POSSESS and quit hiding and running from it.
The world NEEDS what only WE possess!!!
We hurt ourselves from trying to hide from emotional pain. Our self-preservation MAY SPEAK CONTRARY (get out of that hood), but all that’s done is rob us of the love and healing that God is waiting to pour into our lives being an overcomer.
Our Beautiful Jesus is our Christmas gift that keeps on giving and giving… 💝
When I feel I’m being approved, I have connection and belonging and an extra cup of confidence.
Connection nurtures, buffers storms by creating resilience and swaddles us tightly in our identity with Christ who alone transforms and restores.
Overcoming means we are no longer consumed by those hot tears of bitterness and rage springing up. We have more laughter than tears. More joy and less sadness. More resolve and less problems than our insecurities and fears ever birthed. More hope and less fear.
We are called APPROVED; and God is for us, not against us!
God was rejected and wounded by the unfaithfulness of His children over and over again. But His Relentless Love expressed in His pursuit to cover us with His Perfect Gift, He was wounded again by trading His Very Life for us, knowing that we may very well refuse His Great Love again and again and turn our backs!
That’s rejection at its finest, but that’s the God that we serve! He pursues over and over and over again. That’s the spark called hope!
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. – Desmond Tutu
That’s an unnatural act of Love; God’s Great Love, but we are His chosen and He continues to pursue us.
I want to love others like that.
Sit with me here…
Being vulnerable, we fear authenticity because as a child, there were times when we stepped into being our authentic selves, and we weren’t received or recognized for it. We were rejected. Shamed. Invalidated. Even abandoned or abused. Mocked! Not nurtured.
That hurt turned dark. It developed despair and discouragement that birthed depression and almost death. Every choice and behavior thereafter was triggered and built on the lies of rejection and anxiety.
Being laughed at and discarded while being authentic me has been my greatest trigger between my heart and others. And we wonder why I tried taking my own life 40 years ago?
We weren’t validated for it. Being ourselves. It might not get recognized, it may cause abandonment or worse, we will get invalidated when we are being ourselves.
But Perfect Love casts out all fear!
God’s Great Love brings people together who need others that will see them, hear them, hear their pain, and hear their heartbreak. Love wins every time!
And when we release our fears and become the restored beloveds God created and designed us to be, we become our authentic selves who are available to love on and embrace others who are struggling with the same issues.
The best things in life are oftentimes on the other side of fear. What’s holding you back? Fear of failure? Fear of change? Fear of being alone?
Join me as we run into 2021 celebrating being our authentic selves!!!
2020 sits heavy for many of us as it has been a hard year filled with challenges and unknowns. We mourn the victims of the COVID-19 pandemic, with its relentless rage throughout our communities; a year filled with natural disasters and significant loss of life and nature due to the wildfires and hurricanes; and we especially grieve the loss of beloveds who have died as a result of police violence, hate and division.
But there has been sparks of hope…
Before our Beautiful Jesus came to save us, there was darkness and unrest, kind of like our chaos nowadays. “People thought they knew what they needed, but the actuality of the birth of Jesus Christ and how He would rescue us eluded them.”
But those sparks of hope have been radiated throughout the shifting and building of Blameless’ community that is transforming and restoring lives through restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care.
As we have plowed through disheartening, troubling times that have been rather confusing, our eyes have been inspired with hope for what we value: Restored and Redeemed lives!
Watching team members embrace their gifts and experience blessings and further healing themselves while helping facilitate healing to our incarcerated community and victims of crime has been powerful recognizing how we all make up a part of the Body of Christ with our unique gifts that only each person possesses. Tapping into power!
And to hear how our incarcerated started an accountability group because our physical presence was thwarted to actively answer the calling for God in speaking truth to power and spreading messages of faith, hope, and justice was confirmation of our most treasured and valuable investment: The spiritual lives of people effected by crime and violence.
Hurt People May Hurt People, Healed People Heal, and Transformed Lives Transform Culture!
That’s letting God’s presence bring order to our thoughts, infusing His peace into our entire being, and pausing to embrace and absorb this priceless Gift of God, Jesus Christ, as our greatest gift.
Jesus was born in filth, disease and decay (like us today). Mary may have delivered and brought down heaven, but it was not in conditions that were indicative of any kingdom affluence and/or privilege.
It was not a silent night…
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David’s town.
And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother’s hand to hold.
It was a labor of pain…
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love…
Noble Joseph by her side
Calloused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
On the streets of David’s town
In the middle of the night.
So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the Maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move.
It was a labor of pain…
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love…
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was not a silent night on the streets of David’s Town;
It was a Labor of Love!
It was nothing short of a Labor of Love. Mary pondered everything the angel Gabriel delivered, the words of Elizabeth, the shepherds’ pronouncements, and the prophetic words of the Old Testament. She kept tapping into these treasures seared into her heart along with her faith and trust in God.
These treasures Mary held near to her heart are what kept her brave and strong. This radiance is what both held and lit the way during darkness.
We may not understand everything, but we can love and support while believing in others because Jesus radiates within our souls.
“When the divine life possesses the soul, it flows over in gracious ministries among our fellowmen. The affluence becomes an influence importing itself to others.” – John Henry Jowett
Jesus appeared insignificant to the world and yet, He is the most precious and priceless gift one could ever receive. Without His Love, we could not love. Without His forgiveness, we could not forgive and release the imprisonment of rage and bitterness. Without His Love, we wouldn’t have forgiveness, deliverance, and removal of guilt. Plus, when we trust in Christ for salvation, we become the Father’s beloved children.
Jesus knows what we will need during times of darkness and unrest. We may feel too lost, alone and overwhelmed to celebrate Christmas because we think we know what we need right at this moment to guard our hearts, but the actuality of the birth of Jesus Christ and how He will rescue us eludes us.
How is God’s gracious presence being displayed through our lives?
Here Mary, full of grace and God’s favor, pondered in her heart all these treasures and tucked them into folds of her heart that kept her brave and strong. This radiance is what both held and lit the way during darkness.
If Mary was highly favored and didn’t understand the gravity and depth of what her son was going to do, how can we relate that back to those who have hurt people because they’re hurt and not allow God’s grace and power to transform today’s offender into tomorrow’s neighbor?
Maybe we should choose to believe God’s Word instead of our own paralyzing and restricting fears, fears of inadequacy, and/or fears of change.
Mary mirrored what her relationship with God offered; she believed and trusted Him! Also, she chose to rely on the truths and promises of God: God loves me, He chose me, God is with me and will not forsake me. Nothing is impossible with God. This is not because of my own strength, but because of His presence.
Think about the following words…
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
And this child that you’ve delivered,will soon deliver you.
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you kiss the face of God?
Oh, Mary, did you know?
Oh, Mary did not know, yet she focused on God’s Great Love and Promises!
We will never know what God is up to unless we trust Him wholeheartedly. Yes, even when it hurts. Christmas is God’s message to us of His relentless Love.
God was first wounded by the unfaithfulness of His beloveds, and then wounded again by trading His very life for theirs, while knowing that they may very well refuse His Great Love again and turn their backs. Yet, He never stops pursuing us because He gave us this precious gift called Immanuel, “God with us.”
It is from this place on our knees that we will see Our Lord’s salvation and deliverance come upon our state prison facilities before more death overtakes.
Only God can deliver supernatural healing over this deadly pestilence now ravaging our prison communities and weary world!!!
Wherever God’s Love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18 NCV).
Love Moves Against Fear!
Thank you, Jesus, for becoming our Immanuel, “God with us.” It is because of Beautiful You that we can experience hope and true joy amidst such devastation and death.
Jesus, you see our state prison facilities. We’ve lost any and all containment now and thousands upon thousands are getting sick and dying daily. Our state prisons are under attack due to #COVID-19’s chaos, crisis and destruction and we need a major prayer covering for order and control.
There are incarcerated people, corrections staff, their families, your families, my friends, the Body of Christ, and our communities. What happens in prison does not stay in prison! We need God’s direct intervention to restrain #COVID-19!
We should all want to come together in order to defeat the lies and division of the enemy and pull heaven down! What happens in prison does not stay in prison! This is what community is and does! It does not discriminate, it supports and works together to build and protect!
What a beautiful picture of unity blossoming! Coming together builds STRONG bridges of opportunities for healing.
How Great Thou Art! How Great Thou Art! It is from this place on our knees that we see Our Lord’s salvation and deliverance come.
‘Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn: Fall on your knees. Oh, hear the angel voices! O night divine! O night when Christ was born.
He knows our need. To our weakness no stranger! Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend! Behold your King! Your King! Before Him Bend!
When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow in humble adoration
And then proclaim, my God, How Great Thou Art!
He knows our need. To our weakness no stranger! Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend! Behold your King! Your King! Before Him Bend!
Violence Behind Bars Is Inescapable & Traumatizing…
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries understands that as we sojourn with our Beautiful Jesus back inside our state prison facilities; with society’s obsession with punishment, our job is to also help society understand that cages and violent justice only perpetuates violence and IT WILL NOT break the cycle of evil and/or deliver any healing.
If today’s offender will be tomorrow’s neighbor, prison may be necessary for a time, but it is not a solution to evil and crime.
God has showered us with heaven’s rain seeing goodness overcome evil through forgiveness as relationships between victims, offenders, families and staff have become reconciled and restored.
But…
If justice is accomplished by solely locking a person up in prison as punishment, how can we expect that this will somehow accomplish a betterment of a person who has done evil or even make our communities safer?
Incarcerated beloveds rarely return back to society as a morally better person. They usually re-enter society more broken and damaged than before incarceration.
Regardless of the conditions of the confinement or adaptation of incarceration to institutionalized life, our prisons DO NOT make “bad” men and women “good.” Prisons do not overcome or erase the evil that lurks within the human heart. That takes the power of healing, transformation and redemption.
With our state prisons being in lockdown this year due to COVID-19 leading to isolation, suffering in silence, Blameless understands the importance of shifting the narrative by bringing awareness to what our incarcerated go through. This includes the violence they’re subjected to at times, how and why prisons are factories of racism, the mundane nature of it all, along with sharing that there’s not an easy six-to-eight-week course program that one can take that will deliver healing results.
It’s going to take extra grace and commitment establishing relationships, finding the need behind the need, what triggers their behaviors for accountability purposes, and start pulling down layer by layer of the traumas associated with their lives and crimes.
Our incarcerated lives matter and they have value. They are more than worth the time and commitment needed for healing and restoration.
This article and new report by Prison Policy is too important not to start off with taking bits and pieces for a good week to talk about. This is prison life.
We have had increased suicides. We have had significant rioting and killings. Suffering in silence increases mental illness and rage. They have suffered sickness and death due to COVID. The anxiety is real and it’s powerful. It’s dark and it will slay you if you’re not careful.
The plague of violence behind bars is often overlooked and ignored. And when it does receive public attention, a discussion of the effects on those forced to witness this violence is almost always absent.
Most people in prison want to return home to their families without incident, and without adding time to their sentences by participating in further violence. But during their incarceration, many people become unwilling witnesses to horrific and traumatizing violence, as brought to light in a February publication by Professors Meghan Novisky and Robert Peralta.
Participants reported witnessing frequent, brutal acts of violence, including stabbings, attacks with scalding substances, multi-person assaults, and murder. They also described the lingering effects of witnessing these traumatic events, including hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, and avoidance.
We can never lose sight of the fact that “these traumatic events affect health and social function in ways that are not so different from the aftereffects faced by survivors of direct violence and war.”
We pray after reading this study from Prison Policy, you understand a glimpse of what our incarcerated beloveds are subjected to. This way maybe you’ll become a recipient of such incredible and amazing grace yourself that you respond to offenders beyond a “tit for tat” and “eye for eye” justice. Click here…
I repeatedly watched my father’s beat-into-submission cornering of my mother through rage and control while clutching a beer in his left hand. His dangling right hand empowered with flexibility slapped away our quivering lips and stilled our own screams into silence and defeat.
Sometimes pain crushes you. It leaves you incapable of love and void of everything. The brokenness craters a deep wound. Tears no longer roll down your cheeks and screams won’t escape past your lips. Instead, the force brews inside until its burn shatters your broken soul.
I never felt safe or protected after being exposed to these gut-punching realities. I continued to bury the tears and fears that formed a glacier surrounding my heart in ice.
From the weight and movement of my own childhood trauma, this powerful force began to flow outward and downward under its own pressure taking down anyone and everything that was in its path of erosion.
The tears may have initially escaped my eyes, but the shame of the hurt ran away down my cheeks and lingered deeply. Turning my pain inward only regressed my fears and caused a battle within of chaos and unbearable burning.
Feelings that once masked any trace of childhood trauma were now visible. One day after my father died, I noticed how my own reactive behaviors modeled his. My dad may have died, but his life of pain and rage was very much still alive; within me.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, with lifelong health and opportunity.
Working together, we can help create neighborhoods, communities, and a world in which every person can survive and thrive.
Creating opportunities for healing inside our state prisons requires connection and communication, not isolation. Sometimes all it takes is a person filled with God’s Great Love, hope and compassion who has been healed themselves to help uncover unhealthy behaviors that are destroying everyone in its path. This builds bridges of healing.
If we’re not open to discussions leading to what triggers violent behavior, how are we going to experience the peace and transformation that restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care delivers?
Power Of Prayer For Decimation Of Deadly Pestilence At Folsom State Prison
Loved ones, family and friends of those incarcerated, our beloveds are scared and sick with this oubreak of COVID in our prisons, and they need us to be loving, be caring, and BE THERE!
The Lord made very clear to us during prayer for Folsom State Prison Friday what we needed to do regarding this outbreak of chaos and COVID spread overwhelming those incarcerated, along with the staff. In order to release a covering of peace and healing, we needed to fast and start praying specifically for the leadership of CDCR and, most importantly, Warden Hill.
Warden Hill is under tremendous stress with the COVID outbreak along with governmental alliances. He needs prayers for his own hedge of protection and sanity.
Prayers for angel armies to surround Warden Hill with peace & perseverance guiding him into fresh revelations daily in order to make sound decisions for containment. Complete annhiliation of this deadly pestilence and the psychological warfare looming over Folsom State Prison.
I understand we would rather cast blame and become paralyzed with fear, and I am no different than all y’all, but right now we need to replace that anxiety and anger and ask for forgiveness first and then fast. Then we can release prayers for supernatural deployment of eternal plans, recalibration and auxiliary to decimate this pestilence that stalks in the darkness and the plague that destroys at midday. All in Jesus’ beautiful and mighty name!
Forego your Happy Hour of wine and cheese and fast it by prayers and petitions instead; forget the chocolate and replace it by chewing on God’s Word; turn the TV/PHONE off for an hour and sit in the presence of God praising Him for who He is and His Divine intervention.
Sometimes God allows crisis to occur in order to bring His people together and to glorify Him through our radiance of worship and obedience.
Prayer and forgiveness requires both attitude and action. If you have a loved one or friend incarcerated and/or are a Christian, this is not to be considered a sacrifice, this should be our heart’s desire! Every life matters!
Building Bridges Of Healing That Promote Opportunities!
My heart has been rather heavy lately, even angry, at how this Petri dish of disease and death within our state prisons has been tolerated, even accepted, as a new “norm” or even as a means of reducing our over-crowded prison population.
Maybe the heart’s heavier because I’m scared for my own son as he finishes his last few days serving time for his crime “burning in hell,” as he put it, before communications were lost due to being infected with COVID in these prison outbreaks that show absolutely no mercy.
A mother’s heart yearns to be there when her child is sick, whether they’re a tantrum-throwing toddler or a 6’5″ gentle giant; but precluding that medicine is brutal for everyone.
Interacting with those incarcerated, one thing is clear: Understanding most people incarcerated likely have had adverse childhood experiences, more likely a highly traumatic experience as a child, the way they react, or deal with adversities, overwhelms their mental health capacity. They act out because something traumatic IS occurring and they’re not equipped with the tools necessary to appropriately deal with it.
Being imprisoned hasn’t offered, nor focused, on rehabilitation for restorative purposes.
Taking out their support systems, no matter how minimalistic it was, during long-lasting lockdowns, precludes emotional support being delivered. With the absence of visitation from loved ones and friends (six months now), encourages reactive public policies, fueling disconnection leading to isolation and shame, destroying opportunities for healing.
Education, connection, compassion, vocational training, chapel time, employment making 60 cents an hour, 15-minute phone calls, yard time with physical activity, is essential for understanding life skills, accountability and purpose in one’s life.
Now with life being reduced back to an animalistic six-by-eight cage with bipolar cellmates, lacking adequate mental-health, medical and spiritual provision, breeds complete disconnection.
Their behaviors went, and continue to go, unexplored and unresolved.
I don’t have all the answers, but one thing is certain: The work we, as a society, are going to have to undertake is going to take nothing but a supernatural covering to restore what was and is deplored.
After all, the goal of rehabilitation is to “help inmates stop being prisoners of their past and become architects of their future.”
During these unprecedented times, innovative and creative circles of compassion are going to be needed for healing for all entangled in our criminal justice system.
And I’m hopeful that life-changing and life-affirming moments WILL happen because of authentic, vulnerable and intimate connections.
As a mother, a grandmother, and the founder of Blameless and Forever Free Ministries, I am eternally grateful that our new Secretary of CDCR, Kathleen Allison, is a woman whose 30 years with CDCR includes experience as a health-care professional focusing on rehabilitative opportunities for restorative justice.
I pray we can all lean into hope and forgiveness as we embrace new beginnings. Love always wins!!!
The Kids Who Need The Most Love Will Ask For It In The Most Unloving Ways…
The sad thing about this reality is, when they get older, the only thing that changes is the magnitude.
To be smart on crime, we should not be in a position of constantly reacting to crime after it happens. We should be looking at preventing crime before it happens. – Kamala Harris
The Practice Of Forgiveness Is Our Most Important Contribution To The Healing Of The World – Marianne Williamson
Oh, how I love short and meaningful posts that I can tuck into the folds of my heart to help keep me focused on what matters.
We’re all grieving a loss of some magnitude with COVID-19 running rampant through our lives, whether it’s financial, sickness. loss of employment, social distancing, time or abundancy.
Provision matters and when we’re robbed with many unknowns, we forget the blessings of just being, being present, with peace.
Without peace, we lose direction and self-control. All the hate and division in the world unravels and gives birth to chaos and crisis adding more trauma to innocent lives.
I pray we might search our hearts and find grace to let go of the hurts that are festering. We’re living in a world today that is full of volatile people. Hurts breed bitterness and hate; and hate stirs violence.
Forgiveness soothes our parched souls and pours out living waters that our Beautiful Jesus offers. Talk about contributing healing to those occupying space in our worlds.
If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God, you’ll be at rest – Corrie Ten Boom
The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.
If we want to help ourselves and society in bringing humankindness, all we have to do is practice forgiveness and receive the peace that surpasses all knowledge..
Breaking The Cycle Of Recidivism Helps More Than Our Offenders!
“Hi daddy, I miss you. How come you haven’t called in a long time?” “Oh, baby girl, we have coronavirus here in prison so we’ve been locked in our rooms [cells].”
“Eeewww… Mom, you’re right, daddy is sick and bad. They put him in time out, too.”
“I don’t want to speak to you anymore, daddy!”
Gut-punching words for a father to hear during a pandemic that has forced a traumatizing lockdown.
“Mommy, why doesn’t daddy visit me anymore?”
“Daddy, why doesn’t mommy love me anymore?”
“Nana, why do you say bad things about my daddy?”
(Don’t Hate, Rehabilitate!)
Confusing words flowing freely from the mouth of a six-year-old whose father was imprisoned when she was a little older than two.
A mother left to raise her child alone, full of fear, shame and exhaustion, doing everything in her power just to survive. Getting high just to get by. Drinking here and there asking why?
Her inability to cope causes her to forget the needs of the child during the trauma, leaving scars that will forever form her child negatively.
Every word of negativity, fear and exhaustion further confuses and scars the child throughout the experience of the event.
“A child’s well-being is intricately linked to his/her parent’s well-being.”
When hurt people hurt others, once an offender is arrested, brought to court, found guilty and then sentenced to prison, as a society we pretty much have determined that justice is served and prevailed in our criminal justice system.
Is that really the case?
I really believe all that does is perpetuate the cycle to re-offend and also starts a generational stronghold on the family unit where healing doesn’t take place.
Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!
Healing from traumatic life events, such as a parent’s incarceration, can take on many forms.
Over 5.7 Million Children In The United States Have Experienced An Incarcerated Parent
Incarceration also affects and imprisons those in the family, work and personal lives, including parents, significant others, and sons and daughters. And with the increase in mass incarceration, we’re all being effected in some manner.
With a growing U.S. incarceration rate, it means that an increasing number of children (the forgotten and innocent victims too numerous to report) experience the imprisonment of a parent at some point in childhood or adolescence causing more childhood trauma.
And according to the National Institute of Mental Health, childhood trauma is defined as “the experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects.”
To make things worse, research also shows that parental incarceration negatively affects children’s educational outcomes and opportunities, according to the Sentencing Project.
Children’s Exposure to Parental Incarceration
Where there’s parental incarceration, this is considered an adverse childhood experience, which is defined as a potentially stressful or traumatic event that has lasting consequences for the child’s health and well-being.
Parental incarceration involves the removal of a father or a mother from the child’s household and/or daily routine. This removal is a traumatic incident for many children and may be accompanied by other corresponding traumatic experiences.
Rejection and abandonment issues arise developing fears and depression with the uncertainty in how long the parent will remain away.
Compassion Influences Culture
We can’t judge or hold back. If we do, we are robbing God of His blessings because we don’t know the unfolding of what their stories will testify to.
Removal oftentimes can be stigmatizing, too. This can produce shame leading to isolation that impedes social support systems, hinders interactions with both peers and teachers, along with children’s educational opportunities and outcomes.
A. Geller notes in “Paternal Incarceration and Support for Children in Fragile Families,” in the wake of parental incarceration, families experience a variety of challenges. These encompass economic insecurity, altered households and relationship dynamics and routines, changes in parenting, along with changes in parental health.
Given that most incarcerated parents, prior to their incarceration, were working, incarceration leads to an immediate decline in family income, an increase in material hardship, and an increased reliance on public assistance.
And unpealing further layers, there’s a significant correlation between childhood trauma and violence in the lives of those who are incarcerated themselves. Our incarcerated population have experienced their own traumatic childhoods contributing to their crimes.
Kingdom Influences Culture
Blameless and Forever Free Ministriesis leaning in to rehabilitate our incarcerated and community through kingdom influences and restorative justice by focusing more on the traumatic childhood experiences and awareness in reaching the oppressed, both in our prisons and after release at our re-entry program center, as we operate under our belief that God’s Great Love Changes Everything.
Breaking the cycle of recidivism not only restores, rehabilitates, and saves society money, but it makes our communities safer and brings healing to the known and unknown victims by ending this generational cycle of reoffending.
The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation Pays For Sex Reassignment Surgery, But Not Life-Saving Living Donor Transplant?
Life here in California is anything but the California dream. We’re all shocked, full of fear, imprisoned in crisis, isolated while feeling defeated more and more as we try and swim upstream in all this despair.
And it’s not just because of COVID-19, you know!
Yes, part of our pain is due to disease and death, but it’s the exposure of corruption and letdown in our governmental justice system that appears to be screaming, “Mayday, Mayday…”
But when you tell me…
California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation will not pay for a living donor transplant and this beloved has potential donors
I about lost my mind!
Justin is not my child, but I’m roaring almost as loud as if he was.
So wait a minute…
In 2017, a transgender woman by the name of Shiloh Quine, who was 57 years old, incarcerated since 1980 (37 years), became the first U.S. prisoner to receive state-funded SRS. Quine v. Beard, U.S.D.C. (N.D. Cal.), Case No. 3:14-cv-02726-JST.
A stunning, unprecedented move, from the CDCR where they decided to pay for this sex reassignment surgery (SRS).
But I am bringing your attention to one particular individual in our state prisons with significant health issues. His name is Justin J. Silva, AN0415, incarcerated at New Folsom/CSP Sacramento.
Justin is medically fragile, suffering from end stage kidney failure and is receiving dialysis three times per week at an outside facility. Justin’s dialysis treatment is costing California taxpayers an amount of approximately $100,000 per year. Justin is on a cadaver kidney transplant list, but has been denied a “live donor transplant” due to the cost to the CDCR; however, Justin has potential donors.
Governor Newsom’s lawyers told a panel of federal judges that the state is taking “extraordinary and unprecedented protective measures” to slow the spread of COVID-19 and protect those medically-fragile. CDCR/CCHCS proclaims they’re “dedicated to the safety of everyone who lives in, works in, and visits our state prisons.”
Justin has served over half his time for his crime committed during juvenile guidelines. He is and has been subjected to COVID-infected staff during transport, precluding him from social distancing which also puts the community at an increased risk of contracting COVID-19.
Emergency release is also supported by the fact that Justin cannot adequately be protected from COVID-19 at this facility because of the constant transportation and location required in dialysis treatment, along with the fact that CSP-SAC is incapable of providing a renal diet. The diet called for is not followed. His diet consists of processed meat and peanut butter.
Emergency release is also supported due to complications. He is currently experiencing an uncontrolled secondary hyperparathyroidism and is at risk of needing major surgery from the lack of an adequate renal diet. He has waited “weeks” to even receive his prescribed medication.
Releasing Justin J. Silva to his supportive parents who will care for him and have his life spared with a live kidney transplant is requested. This can and should be done without charging taxpayers what his loving family, who are connected both in faith-based and the greater San Diego communities with prior service in the reentry venue, can perform.
Why lose more lives, time, and waste tax dollars, when there’s a simple solution to a dire need: Release Justin J. Silva to his loving parents and have his life spared with a live donor kidney transplant.
The chance that this man would re-offend is exceedingly low, and you have broad power over his fate. Release Justin Silva now. You’ve been summoned to utilize your trademark courage and boldness in the past, but this just requires compassion and a signature to release!
We thank you, Governor Newsom, for using your vast powers in undertaking this emergency action necessary to save this California inmate from dying an “unjust and preventable death behind bars” while saving much-needed California tax dollars.
Decriminalizing human pain equals investing in people, not prisons.
Where the enemy is attempting to bring division, grief and pain, God is restoring unity. What the enemy intended as evil, God will turn it around for good.
#Justice4JustinJ is a call-out campaign to the Governor from the citizens of California, and humanity, insisting that lives must come before dollars. Paying for a transgender surgery, but not for a life-saving transplant and/or release through emergency a medically-fragile beloved whose re-offending nature is extremely low, is unacceptable!
Many elderly and medically-vulnerable prisoners are being kept behind bars for the sake of punishment rather than justice, and it’s time to be a voice for those who can’t speak up for themselves.
I pray you find it in your heart to reach out and email Gov. Newsom, joining in our campaign for #Justice4JustinJ, requesting that Gov. Newsom grant emergency release for Justin J. Silva, who is indeed medically fragile, to the care of his parents who can arrange for his transplant surgery and receive a second chance. It’s hard to be healed and restored when you’re being denied life-saving surgery.
If you’d like to contact the Governor and support this cause, click here. Directions are simple and it’s just an email away.
“Our Lives Begin To End The Day We Become Silent About Things That Matter.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Are we slowly dying or are our hearts and souls being rebirthed?
With all the death, disease and division going on in the world today, my thoughts have been fixed to the beautiful words spoken from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. where he said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
I don’t believe Dr. Martin Luther King meant that included destruction; inciting riots and pulling down monuments through decimation as a means to have our voices heard, but heard they have been. Personally, I’ve been blessed to have heard history and heritage I never knew.
I honestly have had to look at my own heart wondering what I really meant by “there is no race in mankind” as far as prejudice and discrimination. Though I may not see the color of a person as anything but an enhancement to the beauty and spice in the bunch, there is a lot to learn in how our black beloveds are perceived and received.
In sitting and chewing on every beautifully written word of “our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter,” my mind sat for hours wondering what I was letting die through my own silence.
My mind immediately went to my children and grandchildren and came to the conclusion real quick that they’re covered with loud proclamations of grace and extra grace.
But then my heart focused onto the oppressed, the abandoned and the rejected and how they must be feeling when no one is speaking up for their lives, the discrimination and the prejudices; for example, the incarcerated and the homeless.
With this COVID-19 spreading like wildfire in the Caifornia prisons alone, with an outbreak of over 3,400 infections that have brought death upon many, their lives have been silenced.
I understand we’re all tired, scared, judgmental and have become somewhat immobilized, but what happens when we try and express our beliefs through loving actions in lieu of loud proclamations?
I’m like everyone else, I’ve been entangled in webs of deception, evilness that prevails, and am constantly under attack because my faith walks out what God’s Great Love means. But isn’t pretending to love others just lip service in our Church today?
According to what I read in the Bible, loving others leads and moves us into action and change.
We can’t just pretend to love others. We have to really love them!!! Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good (Romans 12:9).
So after sitting with my thoughts for hours, I started playing around and made a short video to see if it could express something profound and make me think about my own vulnerabilities without boisterous demands speaking directly to open hearts.
I found taking a moment of silence illustrated what really stirred my heart and how I must guard against it moving forward.
Please take a moment to watch the 45-second video and share with me what grabbed your heart out of it.
And I agree with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter,” but that does not negate our responsibility to act through Love. Love is an action; it is not self-serving; it acts, whether it wants to or not.
And therein lies the challenge…
I believe we Become What We Believe! I have learned through heartache that my identity comes from the Lord solely, so that means my faith must follow with action. That doesn’t protect me from betrayal and the stings of evil, but it does empower me to stand up and continue to move forward with courage and confidence.
My focus may be different than yours, but I refuse to be quiet about extending second chances to those who need a hand up, not a hand out. This is no easy feat, but we’re all called to love the Lord with all our heart, soul and mind along with loving our neighbor as ourselves.
And if we walk out genuine faith leaning into Jesus’ heartbeat, this should include that generous hearts embrace that today’s offender will become tomorrow’s neighbor.
Faith isn’t selective, right?
So we all have a role we must participate in making our communities safer through awareness, comprehensive programming and God’s Great Love. That doesn’t leave room for prejudices and selective love.
As the beautiful Ann Voskamp shared,
“Winning the lottery doesn’t make you lucky. Getting to love makes you the luckiest of all, because love always wins. You don’t need the love of many — you only need to love many times more than you ever thought you could.”
What’s it like leaving your imprint, your legacy of life, on a prison island to an unknown destiny?
I honestly can’t fathom, but I do know what it’s like being shackled and imprisoned. We all have felt a glimpse of what it’s like being imprisoned due to COVID-19 to a certain degree, no doubt.
Kind of makes us crazy, right?
That isolation is brutal and torturing!
Then add a cocktail or two of criminal conduct, the lingering hangover does more harm than just inviting the consequences of the drunkard.
But why stand with the oppressed and be a voice for the rejected? After all, sipping mango margaritas on the white sandy beaches of Florida is where those whom retire go, right?
Well…
New voices are definitely emerging on the front line of hate and reunification. Mine is no exception. Some are called and some are anointed.
Why stand with the oppressed and be a voice for the rejected?
It’s too easy to hate and cast blame while shifting responsibility onto others than to sit in the swamp battling with the lurking gators and pour life and love that restores what life deplored.
Working with our incarcerated and returning citizens may not be glamorous and relaxing, but I’ve personally been called to build from prison to vision. I understand all too well how hurt people hurt others, but healed people heal.
I’m with Michelle Obama, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s the power of using your voice.”
Prayer warriors, I need your help. Grab your kids, grandkids, family and friends and come together and join Blameless and Forever Free Ministriestoday at 4:00 pm (pst).
We will be uniting and linking across the world becoming a bridge of hope rebuilding lives by praying for peace and unity throughout our country, along with covering our prison facilities with a blanket of protection declaring the peace thatPsalm 91delivers.
Open your Bibles at 4:00 pm and start proclaiming Psalm 91 out loud lifting up our country and prison facilities declaring that unity and love will replace division and hate. Ten minutes of time, if reading twice. We’re all imprisoned by this hate!
This obedience takes ten minutes. There’s power in numbers. Instead of focusing on the riots, division and disease, let’s replace that enemy decreasing anxiety by proclaiming the truths found in the Bible. Together we can pull down heaven by covering our brothers and sisters with love and peace! We have nothing to lose here, but gain!
Ready or Not, God is on the Move!
What happens in prison does not stay in prison. Hate and disease spread like wildfire and kill.
Hi friends and family, are you sensing freedom with the virus restrictions being lifted that has kept us all in shackles and held captive for the past few months?
I call it a glimpse into what our incarcerated go through except we live quite luxurious lives with freedoms they’ll never experience.
I know I’m not quite prepared, nor do I feel total peace, being in close proximity and contact with larger groups, but mask-to-mask conversations and small intimate settings are good for me. I do miss my social interaction with close friends and family, though.
I am eternally grateful for the countless hours spent conducting business on Zoom, but I won’t cry me a river saying goodbye to it either. How about you?
I have to admit, we have been forced to think outside the box to communicate, but it’s given me time to watch and observe. This pandemic definitely consumed every last morsel of energy running through my veins, but it’s confirmed just how precious and fleeting lives are and to embrace our many blessings.
With the rebranding of Blameless and Forever Free Ministries, it’s been a bit tricky and all-consuming having to cancel and reschedule all year’s fundraising events, so I’m trying to transition this blog over to match the nonprofit’s.
I hope to share stories from hearts of those incarcerated, mothers of murderers, what family and friends go through when their loved ones become incarcerated AND released, along with bringing awareness to the discrimination and prejudices our prisoners go through when they become released.
They are not prepared…
We wonder why we have such high recidivism rates?
We’ve lived under this umbrella of mass incarceration for so long, especially here in California, that we’ve basically just thrown away the key for those who have made horrible decisions. Instead, we’ve let power and greed build a criminal justice system without any forethought that prisoners are not animals and they need rehabilitation.
And THEY ARE WORTHY of love and support!
Rehabilitation must begin the day they’re sentenced to prison, not after they’ve been released or served many years!!!
So…
I’ve been having fun with some new programs (only after countless frustrating hours), and created this little storytelling video to help bring compassion and awareness to what Blameless is initiating through our Redemption Team and the purpose of the re-entry program center.
Our incarcerated deserve a second chance. They are serving time for their crimes. But if we’re releasing them without exploring and rehabilitating what led them to the heinous crimes and poor decisions in the first place (deep hurts), we’re creating more volatile and violent behaviors.
Being caged up like animals enables this revolving door of opportunity and excuse for cycles of re-offending to work in full force. This lends to increasing crime and even encourages more homelessness if we don’t get in and heal the hurts that led them there to begin with.
Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!
One element became unashamedly obvious while pouring love into our incarcerated. Blameless and Forever Free Ministries was created because the Lord chose to bring awareness walking through my own crisis. I was able to witness the thirst for hope and how paramount it is that we share God’s Great Love with our incarcerated along with comprehensive programming. This not only offers them a place to belong and transition into, but be accepted right where they’re at (change is hard and awkward).
Being held accountable while learning from our mistakes through God’s amazing grace restores lives, teaches healthy behaviors and boundaries with patience and forgiveness, leading them to experience being successful, productive members of society.
The incarcerated WANT TO SUCCEED. They need help and guidance delivered through forgiveness, surrounding them with support and encouragement, not just those chasing them around through threats of more prison time, parole and probation (though we are eternally grateful for their service). That’s called fellowship in my world!
All they have known is their segregated prison groups and institutionalized existence (thinking) while being drunk on criminal conduct. That’s a cocktail that bites all of us in the assets!
That’s sobering information that needs reform!
Knowing it costs more annually to house prisoners than it would be to send them to Harvard for an education with housing included, this paints a very dark picture and an injustice to ALL that needs fixing.
I’d much rather invest in and have a bunch of Harvard grads running around society contributing to social reform and human kindness; wouldn’t you?
I don’t know about you, but I want safer communities. That requires supporting and rehabilitating our returning citizens along with equipping them with the tools and education they need to plow through all the discrimination and lack of housing availability because of their “felon” tag. Lifetime branding!
All we’re doing is shuffling them around throughout the justice system; from arrest, to court, to prison, to release; to arrest, to court, to prison, to release. We’re all tired of trying. It’s just like the homeless epidemic; we’re not engaging with the need behind the need. It’s a vicious cycle!
Enough said. I’m on a Tammy Tangent.
Let me know what your thoughts are about this Ripl program. I get funky with the musicality, but I’m learning and having fun…
Billy Graham proclaimed, “Courage is Contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spine of others are stiffened.”
Honoring the Fallen! Never Forgotten? Hmmm… never forgotten? Really? Where in most Memorial Day celebrations, unless you’re with a family or community of inactive or active service personnel, do you hear stories of valor and selfless acts of bravery that proclaim this great caliber as to why we celebrate Memorial Day?
Forgive Us For Not Recognizing Our Fallen!
Sadly, it seems there is more recognition geared towards retail sales advertisements along with the hustle and bustle ushering in the first big holiday announcing summertime. Much less you add in malls reopening due to pandemic closure, we quickly forget the honor and celebration of what today stands for.
Don’t get me wrong, these preparations for the festivities are great; you know, family gatherings, coming together, barbecuing, boating, camping, traveling with the additional three-day weekend, but what about carving out time to honor the fallen which is the sole purpose of Memorial Day?
There is nothing wrong with the excitement in getting together with our family and friends to unwind and celebrate; we all need that! But what about the fallen heroes and their families that have lost so much, their precious and valued loved ones, due to their sacrificial service for our freedom? How are they being remembered? They are searching for this gratitude and consolation in our festivities that have seemed to be glossed over.
Where is the tribute and honor that should be at the forefront of our celebrations for our fallen heroes on Memorial Day?
Where is the dedicated time for this tribute and recognition that brought us freedom?
Where does the honor, the respect, the remembrance, and the salutation fit into our celebratory festivities this Memorial Day weekend? After all, our great nation was built on the freedom that these fallen heroes died for! That deserves recognition.
The ocean tears that have been released by mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, families, and the many innocent children that look for comfort from a nation that pauses to think about, honor and celebrate what their loved one selflessly gave to have this freedom extended is non-existent and quite neglected.
If you’ve ever had to comfort a grieving soul who just learned of their loved one’s death, there is nothing more dreadful and heartbreaking than delivering the piercing words, “I’m sorry, but your loved one has been killed in the line of duty serving his/her country.”
Being honest here, when I was raising my children, I looked forward to having an extra day off with the announcement that summertime was near. Any excuse to celebrate was quite a gift. Memorial Day just meant getting the boat ready and the family together for a couple of days spent on the water without any further forethought. Tragic!
Where is the honor, recognition and respect geared towards our fallen heroes and their families acknowledging how they dedicated and sacrificed their lives? This is the pure definition of what is called a beautiful exchange.
Can we start teaching our children and share with our families the significance of what Memorial Day deserves? We can testify to this valor of great sacrifice by sharing a few of the following quotes:
“The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.” – Jeff Miller
“The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.” – Benjamin Disraeli
Can we maybe start proclaiming how we’re proud to be Americans and express our gratitude for the meaning behind Memorial Day. This honor will offer golden nuggets of comfort to the fallen and their families to carry close to their hearts reminding them that their lives mattered and stood for victory and won’t be forgotten, nor were their deaths in vain! Maybe while we’re vacationing, we can even share with others the significance while honoring the millions of soldiers who lost their lives. Speak it while engaging with others.
There is nothing wrong with celebrating, but putting at the forefront what all of our Fallen Heroes have achieved will keep their legacy alive and one in which will never be forgotten. It’s a gratitude for blessing us with a privilege that we often take for granted. We are reaping the harvest from the seeds they dropped during their bout of courage and dedication. What a gift that keeps on giving, but it needs watering and cultivating!
By the way, Memorial Day originated way back in the late 1800’s, but was enacted following the Civil War where many Americans started honoring the soldiers who lost their lives by decorating their graves. Beautiful, isn’t it? It wasn’t until 1971 that it was deemed a National holiday and celebrated as such through the passing of the National Holiday Act.
“Those that die for a good cause… hover as a cloud of witnesses over the nation.” Henry Ward Beecher.
Let us never forget our fallen heroes and their families. After all, as John F. Kennedy stated, “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.”
Fallen Heroes, We Will Never Forget Your Sacrificial Service & We Thank You!
Billy Graham proclaimed, “Courage is Contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spine of others are stiffened.”
Honoring the Fallen! Never Forgotten? Hmmm… never forgotten? Really? Where in most Memorial Day celebrations, unless you’re with a family or community of inactive or active service personnel, do you hear stories of valor and selfless acts of bravery that proclaim this great caliber as to why we celebrate Memorial Day?
Forgive Us For Not Recognizing Our Fallen!
Sadly, it seems there is more recognition geared towards retail sales advertisements along with the hustle and bustle ushering in the first big holiday announcing summertime. Much less you add in malls reopening due to pandemic closure, we quickly forget the honor and celebration of what today stands for.
Don’t get me wrong, these preparations for the festivities are great; you know, family gatherings, coming together, barbecuing, boating, camping, traveling with the additional three-day weekend, but what about carving out time to honor the fallen which is the sole purpose of Memorial Day?
There is nothing wrong with the excitement in getting together with our family and friends to unwind and celebrate; we all need that! But what about the fallen heroes and their families that have lost so much, their precious and valued loved ones, due to their sacrificial service for our freedom? How are they being remembered? They are searching for this gratitude and consolation in our festivities that have seemed to be glossed over.
Where is the tribute and honor that should be at the forefront of our celebrations for our fallen heroes on Memorial Day?
Where is the dedicated time for this tribute and recognition that brought us freedom?
Where does the honor, the respect, the remembrance, and the salutation fit into our celebratory festivities this Memorial Day weekend? After all, our great nation was built on the freedom that these fallen heroes died for! That deserves recognition.
The ocean tears that have been released by mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, families, and the many innocent children that look for comfort from a nation that pauses to think about, honor and celebrate what their loved one selflessly gave to have this freedom extended is non-existent and quite neglected.
If you’ve ever had to comfort a grieving soul who just learned of their loved one’s death, there is nothing more dreadful and heartbreaking than delivering the piercing words, “I’m sorry, but your loved one has been killed in the line of duty serving his/her country.”
Being honest here, when I was raising my children, I looked forward to having an extra day off with the announcement that summertime was near. Any excuse to celebrate was quite a gift. Memorial Day just meant getting the boat ready and the family together for a couple of days spent on the water without any further forethought. Tragic!
Where is the honor, recognition and respect geared towards our fallen heroes and their families acknowledging how they dedicated and sacrificed their lives? This is the pure definition of what is called a beautiful exchange.
Can we start teaching our children and share with our families the significance of what Memorial Day deserves? We can testify to this valor of great sacrifice by sharing a few of the following quotes:
“The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.” – Jeff Miller
“The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.” – Benjamin Disraeli
Can we maybe start proclaiming how we’re proud to be Americans and express our gratitude for the meaning behind Memorial Day. This honor will offer golden nuggets of comfort to the fallen and their families to carry close to their hearts reminding them that their lives mattered and stood for victory and won’t be forgotten, nor were their deaths in vain! Maybe while we’re vacationing, we can even share with others the significance while honoring the millions of soldiers who lost their lives. Speak it while engaging with others.
There is nothing wrong with celebrating, but putting at the forefront what all of our Fallen Heroes have achieved will keep their legacy alive and one in which will never be forgotten. It’s a gratitude for blessing us with a privilege that we often take for granted. We are reaping the harvest from the seeds they dropped during their bout of courage and dedication. What a gift that keeps on giving, but it needs watering and cultivating!
By the way, Memorial Day originated way back in the late 1800’s, but was enacted following the Civil War where many Americans started honoring the soldiers who lost their lives by decorating their graves. Beautiful, isn’t it? It wasn’t until 1971 that it was deemed a National holiday and celebrated as such through the passing of the National Holiday Act.
“Those that die for a good cause… hover as a cloud of witnesses over the nation.” Henry Ward Beecher.
Let us never forget our fallen heroes and their families. After all, as John F. Kennedy stated, “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.”
Fallen Heroes, We Will Never Forget Your Sacrificial Service & We Thank You!
Loving to such a degree that you’re overwhelmed by joy. Looking at the sky with its majestic undertones and purity of whispering clouds gliding as free souls, the Creator paints reflections of my own heart and soul through each stroke of the brush.
New beginnings are arising…
Covering me with peace and comfort, the shackles that once were so restricting, tightly bound around my ankles and wrists, no longer hinder me. My arms lift in childlike wonder as I release the bondage of grief and guilt slipping through my fingertips. The innocence surrounding my smile matches the breeze gently caressing my face.
It is well…
This freedom in allowing the golden hues of sand to tease my toes and slip through my fingertips become the most glorious gift God could offer. Freedom in surrendering all. Even the dry places that are saturated with minuscule annoyances. Each lingering grain of sand can’t attack my thoughts. Instead they proclaim:
Annoyances are now Assurances
My strength is found in the presence of my Lord’s endless love!
My mind ponders simple scripture found in Psalm 139:17-18, How precious are your thoughts about me, O Lord, how vast is their sum! If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand beneath my feet. When I awake, I am still with You.
Rays of the glorious sunset brought a frisson of anticipation to my heart as the day concluded. My heart received the meaning of the peace that surpasses all knowledge. It is well...
Whenever my busy thoughts are out of control, the soothing comfort of your presence calms me down and overwhelms me with delight (Psalm 94:19).
Thank you, Jesus! My heart is overwhelmed with joy as my soul rests and receives the freedom that is on every horizon. That is what worshiping in truth and spirit offers!
A handwritten sign posted in one of the windows at Cook County Jail by beloveds in custody stating, “HELP, WE MATTER2.” This was from early April, 2020 (Jim Vondruska/Reuters/New York Times).
Inmates bringing attention to inhumane conditions inside a jail hung this sign in the window begging for help in response to two inmates who contracted COVID-19 at Cook County Jail and “were placed in ISOLATION CELLS after testing positive.”
Isolation cells? For contracting a virus that kills, came in from the outside, and needs constant medical attention? These precious lives matter just like yours and mine.
Because these prisoners contracted COVID-19 and officials felt isolating them in cells of hell instead of adequately taking medical measures would somehow keep this beast of a disease from spreading!
Makes no sense, I know.
Our detention facilities are reservoirs of infection.
According to data compiled by The New York Times, Cook County Jail is now “the nation’s largest-known source of coronavirus infections.”
Dehumanizing living, breathing life is no way to treat sick incarcerated beloveds, and this is often what our prisoners are subjected to.
Fighting to improve conditions along with bringing awareness to our nation’s prisons, detention centers and jails reflect what is happening inside and impacts society while lifting up the voices of those silenced.
Every life matters! Mass incarceration is not the answer and neither is isolation. Prioritizing equality of empathy should be our number one focus.
From prison to community!
What happens in our jails doesn’t stay in jail. Cesspool of infection. We have to pray for and pay attention to all the health needs of our detained beloveds and our correctional staff; otherwise, we will become haunted like Southern California.
As the virus gets in our detention centers and prisons, it doesn’t discriminate and wipes out our ability to control it while claiming lives. This pandemic cannot be ignored because our prisons are filled with beloveds whose lives matter too, and they are part of our community.
According to California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, reporting as of May 13, 2020, California Institution for Men (CIM) is reported as having 324 confirmed cases of incarcerated beloveds contracting COVID, 50 staff members infected, and now 5 deaths, totaling 379 and still increasing; and California State Prison, Los Angeles County (LAC) is reported with having 94 incarcerated infected along with 42 staff members infected totaling 136.
These are just the leading two of many cesspool prisons in Southern California and increasing daily.
As a medical expert announced, “Part of our mistake is to think that these places, jails and prisons, aren’t part of the community.”
The lives of our incarcerated and our correctional staff matter and they are just as important as yours and mine.
Wouldn’t you agree?
Just because the prison I’m affiliated with, Folsom State Prison, has done an amazing job containing this beast of infection with the infected staff doesn’t mean other prisons aren’t suffering. The numbers state quite the contrary.
Just typing those three words made me uncomfortable. How about you?
No, I’m not a mother of a murderer. I do, however, have imperfect children like myself filled with pain.
Hurt people hurt others, but healed people heal!
I have met, and established relationships with, a dozen or so of incredibly courageous mothers of murderers that deserve to wear crowns of Mothers Of Mercy!
But Labeled As Mothers of Monsters?
How can any mother walk through life being referred to as Mothers Of Monsters?
Every mother’s heart carries enough of the shame-and-blame game of our children’s actions and grave decisions, but that should associate us more so as being Mothers Of Mourning, right?
After all, a mother holds her child’s hand for just a short time, but holds their hearts forever!
Successful rehabilitation is dependent upon the love and support received inside prison.
To every Mother Of Mourning, you’re an inspirational gift from the Lord. I’m honored to witness love in action, strong faith and perseverance as God heals, creating beauty.
The repeated trials and attacks you endure in daily living, from your own imprisonment of guilt and shame, the victim’s family and “those that know” are like daggers to the soul unknown to none other.
Your life and love is our Lord’s work, accomplished in Holy Spirit’s power, and is never in vain, even when we don’t understand. It is unique to only you! Your life is a God-ordained calling and mission.
This assignment was specifically tailored for YOU ONLY to fulfill and you have done well to stand firm and let nothing move you except Love Himself (1 Corinthians 15:58).
I can’t even imagine the hell you’ve walked through, but I can say this: Being refined by fire is BEAUTIFUL!!! I have become empowered because of you, so thank you!
A mom, mommy, mother can’t change the past, as she will carry some guilt and shame that is tucked between the folds of her heart. Mothers Of Mention, it’s your time to rise and shine understanding you’re Mothers Of Mercy with relentless devotion.
Your children arise and call you blessed because of your unwavering support that comes from the strength of your faith (Proverbs 31:17).
Your Godly image of grace, compassion and tender mercy illustrates God Himself (Genesis 1:27).
Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!
And M-O-M, Mother Of Mercy, your unconditional love to “never let me go” helps us all embrace how hurt people hurt others, but healed people heal! Since love comes from God and you know Him, your life testifies to God’s Great Love (1 John 4:7-10).
Counting the times their souls connect to one another pales in comparison to the mourning and weeping veils they’re clothed in.
The celebration a mother holds onto when transformation delivers reminders of “I’m making you stronger,” illustrates how their love is unashamedly obvious. Even though every single visit steals a part of their cherished cuddling and cradling, the bleeding heart may become calloused with scar tissue, but a Mother Of Motivation leans in.
Death ripped away a part of these mothers, the parts that were most loved. Instead, they are replaced with wearing the black hooded veil. Both the mothers of the victims and the mothers of murderers become haunted by the shadow of death and despair.
Could you describe a M-O-M as selfless, loving, supportive, even an intelligent beloved? Or is the labeling of the mother of murderers too much to bear?
We all participated in the death of Jesus Christ, so maybe examining our own cold hearts might help expose light to the shadow of judgment and condemnation.
These mothers still feel the pain, raw pain, but to think their hearts cannot be broken anymore is disheartening. This pain is seared all the way through the heart branding each beat. They are imprisoned by no fault of their own. A mother’s love never ends; instead it chooses to protect, never leaves, nor forsakes.
Sound familiar?
That’s God’s Great Love!
A mother faces hardship, judgment and ridicule when their child becomes incarcerated. Fearless perseverance is demanded when the world surrounding her collapses beneath her feet.
Unable to guard any mama’s heart, the battleground is and was vicious and bloody. This could only develop strength from constant battle. Behind closed doors, the shadow of guilt and shame ricochets from the flaming arrows penetrating the armor. Where this mama went wrong or where she failed and wasn’t enough lurks to ambush.
The hemorrhaging heart somehow finds the strength from faith to carry a torch of compassion and love to carry a heart through the finish line.
Are you a Mother of Mayhem? Mother Of Mischievous? Mother of Multitude? Mothers of Military? Mothers of Mentally-Ill? Mothers of Misfits?
How about calling ourselves…
Mamas of Masterpieces?
Whether your mother is loving, accepting, beautiful or caring, the common denominator that is often overlooked is how amazing she is: Mother Of Mine!
Thank you for being beautiful you, Mother Of Meaningful! You are indeed Mothers Of Masterpieces!
They connected in that moment they brought you to me. That has not changed since then. I know your heart, why we are separated now. But do you know mine?
How I can never describe the feeling of watching and hearing the sound of the metal shackles being locked on your body. The body I cradled and sang to and rocked, your premature birth making you all the more precious to me. To say this hurt my heart… Well, you know, if you know my heart.
I know your eyes, following me across the room, “mom?” Do you know mine? I can’t fix this like I wanted to fix every hurt that came your way. But my eyes are telling you, I can only try and make you see you are never without me.
I don’t know your new world, and you no longer know mine. I know that you know the things I long to share with you and can’t. Your brothers’ lives, your nephews, new cousins’ children, holidays, birthdays and just those days I wish I could reach over and touch your hand, or smile in recognition of some shared family joke. It so hurts my heart that I know these are the things you are missing.
I can only know of your world what you deem safe to tell me. The imagining in my head can be so much worse. I try not to let my heart go there, but nevertheless it is only halfway to the back of my mind.
I know my arms want to hold you and shield you whenever I can. And you don’t fool me – I know your arms come around me, quickly and fiercely even though you say, “Ah mom, the guys!”
I know your smile that sometimes lights up your face when you see me, or sometimes can break my heart. My smile, you know, that will never tire of landing on your face, but always hiding my sadness at where you are.
I can’t know your pain, your fears, your regrets or your way of reconciliation of this life that is now yours. And you can’t know mine. I can’t show you mine. I know you need my strength. Sometimes that is all I can do for you. And that is my pain, mine alone.
You know my soul. You know there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Just as I know yours, they are intertwined for always. I know who you are deep down inside.
I know your guilt that comes from your actions. Do you know mine? The time I have spent wondering, “which day did I go wrong?” Did I read to you enough? Did I give you enough apple snacks? Was it that day I spanked you for running out in the street? Or the day I made you stand in the corner for telling me “NO!”?
Silly really, the mundane things I dwell on. But it doesn’t stop me from wondering – what minute of what day would I have changed?
Instead, this is where we are. But it won’t be dark, we have each other to light the way. I’ll light yours and you’ll light mine and we will meet at the end of this tunnel.
And every so often, we pause. Our eyes, our hearts and our souls connect like a magnet and we ask each other – how did you get here?
I don’t know.
Until next time…
Wasn’t that beautiful? Please tell Dana Ordonez how much you loved her heart and transparency through the beautiful words penned. You can leave her a comment that is linked above the post or go toBlameless and Forever Free Ministries‘ nonprofit website.
Hi family and friends! I trust you’re all safe and healthy, filled with overwhelming peace, while transitioning into all these unknowns and chaotic times.
We are blessed to have this rare opportunity to know our Lord while being still and accept His invitation to experience His Amazing Love on a completely different level. We are, after all, never alone…
This Easter we are celebrating the Ultimate Victory by being invited to rest in the Absolute Truth where God’s Great Love defeated death. Love showcasing how our God is able to do abundantly more than all we could ever ask, imagine or even dream about.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got the wildest imagination with unbelievable dreams to boot, so…
From a distance, his muscular build, tattoos and shaved head misleads with intimidation. But redemption tells us another story. After all, He Is Risen! Jesus Is Risen and His Redemption Is Possible!
The founder of Blameless and Forever Free Ministries knows the power of transformation! She’s personally encountered, prayed with, instructed and continues to help invest in those who are feared and rejected. She has established Blameless to see others as Jesus does and introduce the love of Christ through introduction, invitation and instruction.
The founder is excited to be building a team with beloveds that Jesus Christ died for, President Donald J. Trump stands up for, and who Blameless and Forever Free Ministries invests in by offering the redemptive power of transformation for our returning citizens.
Helping tear down barriers through awareness regarding the importance of second chances for our returning citizens who continue to be discriminated against in securing housing, employment and education enables them in being successful and productive members of society which is vital for healthier and safer communities.
Redemption Is Possible!
April is Second Chance Month. Blameless believes in not only validating our victims, encouraging our communities through awareness and education, but transforming and rehabilitating the lives of our incarcerated both before their release and thereafter.
President Trump supports Second Chance Month and declares the importance of opportunities for redemption through the second chance initiative in becoming productive members of society in his declaration dated March 31, 2020.
To view President Trump’s Proclamation, click here…
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries believes in giving our prisoners a second chance after prison and that is why they are working relentlessly during the restrictions of this COVID-19 pandemic to continue to advocate and bring awareness towards restorative criminal justice.
Even though our fundraising capabilities are temporarily disabled due to social distancing, we continue to maximize this time in locating a building here in Placer County in order to secure a safe place for fellowship and comprehensive programming for our returning citizens to thrive and become successful members of society. Therefore, reducing recidivism rates where everybody wins!
An excerpt of President Trump’s proclamation declares, “While we must be tough on crime, we can also be smart about reducing recidivism. One of the best ways to break the cycle of crime is to help former inmates find rewarding work. That is why my Administration is promoting second chance hiring to build on the reforms of the First Step Act and help former inmates live crime-free lives.”
All Is Well Today When We Know God Is In Our Tomorrow’s…
Hi precious friends and family, I don’t know about you, but with everything going on in our world between COVID-19, social distancing and all the chaos and panic, if I don’t remember that God is with me today, I will never be able to rise up and not shrink back.
Remembering that with my marching orders, which includes being on the front lines combating this enemy as His pillar of strength, that requires walking out all is well today when we know that God is in our tomorrow’s.
As treasured possessions of God and His Works of Art, being God’s handiwork allows us to rise up and shine during crisis for our loved ones, friends and family.
As Christians, we have never been better positioned to rise up and shine and be the light of our Beautiful Jesus (Isaiah 60:1-2) as the glory of our Lord rises upon us.
And if we really think about it, our co-workers and the beloveds in our communities, they are going to be watching us now for hope. Being His vessels, they will lean in for strength, for love and for a calming comfort, seeking a compassionate ear when their lives are consumed and compromised by fear.
Our secret to a freaked out world: We know all is well today when we know that God is in our tomorrow’s.
Walking out Matthew 6:34 can lead us victoriously through the doors of peace and strength, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
COVID-19 Is Confirmed In Our California State Prisons!
Why do we need urgent prayers covering our state prison facilities? Because COVID-19 has been confirmed in our California State Prisons.
You might not be able to see when a silent killer like COVID-19 strikes in our state prison facilities, but you can hear this epidemic coming.
Even though the individuals tested positive were correctional staff, as of March 20th, that does not mean our incarcerated are not infected. Receiving proper medical attention in prison is like stumbling upon a hidden treasure.
Ask a mother whose son has a three-centimeter mass in his breast with a family history of breast cancer…
Unless you’ve walked through our prisons personally, either through work, tours and/or detention, you have no idea how close the inmate population is to one another and how stacked on top of each other they are. This is how viral epidemics spread and kill. It’s like living in a Petri dish.
I’m going to forewarn you, the below statement is repulsive and gross, but truth is empowerment.
This is how disgustingly close our incarcerated are: When they defecate in their cell toilets, or urinate for that matter, their cellmate’s head is less than two feet from the toilet. And no, there is no wall or barrier between either.
No privacy. No protection…
Gross!!!
It’s like one person starts to cough and/or sneeze. Then a prison guard walks down the hall coughing every step they take. An inmate on the phone in the hallway coughs all over the mouth piece and wipes his nose with the hand holding onto the phone.
Germs are everywhere!
Then another inmate a couple tiers down starts to cough and before you know it, everyone is infected and there’s no escaping it in the wide-open space. Everyone is coughing, blowing their noses, spitting up phlegm. Petri dish of danger!
And if you think they’re equipped with extra bars of soap and hand sanitizer, paper towels to wipe dry their hands and dispose of, you couldn’t be further from the truth. They are only given limited bars of soap per month, and many of them use their bars of soap to wash their clothes.
Did you say wash their clothes?
Yes. If they have it laundered, most of the time they’ll never receive it back. Stolen laundry is a hot-ticketed item.
Many prisoners wash their two state-prison-issued clothing similar to Little House on the Prairie.
There is absolutely no way to participate in social distancing in our state prisons. They are literally on top of one another.
When they eat, they’re like a can of sardines packed together. They share trays AND food. They shower together without any separation. And with being in lockdown, it allows the contamination to spread through open air and tight spaces.
When they’re in lockdown, it does not keep them safe. It’s a cesspool of toxins.
You CANNOT ISOLATE over 2.3 million incarcerated beloveds from one another to contain and keep this virus from spreading, much less have adequate medical teams and/or facilities to treat those who will inevitably become infected.
Please pray for our prison population; they’re someone’s son, like mine…
With the CDCR placing all California State Prisons under lockdown, if you have further concerns or questions regarding COVID-19, you may contact the CDCR through email at COVID19@cdcr.ca.gov and they will direct all inquiries to the appropriate division.
The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation has issued a COVID-19 Preparedness as follows:
As of March 17, 2020, there are currently no confirmed cases of COVID-19 within CDCR institutions.
“Effective March 18, no volunteers or rehabilitative program providers will be allowed to enter state prison until further notice.
All rehabilitative programs, group events, and in-person education classes are cancelled.
The Office of Correctional Education is working to provide in-cell educational programs so as to not interrupt educational credit-earning.
The Board of Parole Hearings (BPH) will postpone all parole suitability hearings through March 20.
All Interstate Compact Agreement transfers of out-of-state parolees or inmates to California will cease for 30 days.
CDCR has activated an email box, COVID19@cdcr.ca.gov, to answer questions from the public, employees, and stakeholders related to COVID-19. This email address will be monitored and questions will be directed to the appropriate divisions.
CDCR’s inmate telephone network provider Global Tel Link (GTL) has offered the adult incarcerated population two days of free phone calls: from 12 a.m. to 11:59 p.m. Thursday, March 19, and 12 a.m. to 11:59 p.m. Thursday, March 26. The youth within the Division of Juvenile Justice already receive free phone calls.”
Please continue to pray for those incarcerated, their families and our correctional staff.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries will continue to monitor any and all updates and keep you informed.
Until next time…
At least we have some good news: As of March 17, 2020, there are currently no “confirmed” cases of COVID-19 within CDCR institutions. Thank you, Jesus!
Hi Beautiful, I’m going a little stir crazy today, so I wanted to invite you and others in helping me share my Happy Dance celebrating St. Patty’s Day.
Sorry to interrupt your scrolling – well, not really – but come do the happy dance with me as we shed a layer or two of these toxic germs and shackles while speaking a word or two of love and affirmations.
I just wanted you to know that I’m doing the Happy Dance praising God for you and your life. The world would be so much gloomier without your radiance and sunshine!
I know you don’t hear it enough, but YOU ARE ENOUGH just the way you are and SO LOVED!
Missing you dearly. This social distancing sucks. I guess we’re getting a taste of what it’s like being prisoners, so to speak, but it’s only for a short while. It just reminds me and emphasizes how much I am blessed to sojourn this side of heaven being friends with you.
You are so loved and precious! Never lose sight of that, okay?
I’m praying for a release of blessings, great favor, wonderful health and a soaking of God‘s Great Love to follow you everyday!
Tammy Ingram 