Faith vs. Fear? Faith The Fear!

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Faith vs. Fear?

Faith the Fear!

“The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me.  Everyone abandoned me.  May it not be counted against them.  But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength…”  2 Timothy 4:16-17 NLT

 

Inmates!  When you think of this infamous title, what comes to mind?  Losers?  Prisoners?  Convicts?  Rejects deserving punishment? 

Better yet, what comes to mind when you hear of excessive force being used by correctional officers along with inmates’ Constitutional rights being violated? 

Who cares?  Hmmmm…

Anyone that knows me or has been following my blog for even a little while knows about my 110% complete devotion and support for ALL of our men and women in blue who have taken an oath and who selflessly sacrifice their lives to help protect and serve their communities. 

Okay, most of them anyways…  There’s always going to be a rotten apple in the barrel that infects and spoils the good ones.  Enough said!  I was married to a dirty cop so I know how that story goes…

That one bad apple didn’t stop me from going through the law enforcement chaplaincy academy after the fact and even serving as a chaplain for the past seven years, nor did being a victim of heinous crimes myself hinder my advocacy work and passion for the rejected and unloved. 

But when a beloved son finds himself in mayhem, I became sandwiched between our justice system and this corrupted force by witnessing firsthand violation after violation causing pain and turmoil to this mama’s child and others by the COs (correctional officers) not following the laws and the rules demanded by our U.S. Constitution.

Where’s the love in this world anymore?  We have become bullies hiding behind the power given to us through lack of governance, social media and our computer screens.  We have become fixated and thrive on corruption and crime and “colluding” and even become energized by real-life drama.  Talk about egotistical people without a moral compass.

When our three-year-olds are more familiar with the word “collude” instead of “loved,” we need to take a step back and examine how we are allowing the actions of others to influence our lives.  This includes how we utilize social media to peek, watch, stalk, gossip and even “date others” which is nothing more hazardous than to one’s “selfie.”

What happened to the meeting of minds face to face and loving our neighbors as ourselves?  Would you protect yourself by letting another brother be blamed for the fall?  If a child was getting hurt, would you intervene to protect them or would you click Facebook first and turn your video on and record instead of protecting them?

Every person is a child to some mother or father, so…  

What if this person was sitting in county jail awaiting trial; considered innocent until proven guilty, right?  Here he’s hurt, harassed, hazed, and even refused his Constitutional rights.  He’s put into a cell with another human’s feces on the walls.

Would you just ignore the inhumane discrimination because inmates are considered “losers” in jail or would you stand up for their rights and scream awareness against those who are abusing and usurping their authoritative powers?

This is frightening to come up against, but my God commands we work for justice.  Just because someone is in jail does not mean they’re dehumanized or any less of a Beloved.  God loves us all just the way we are, mistakes and all. 

These inmates have to do the time for their crimes, but between overcrowding, inhumane conditions, and being subjected to excessive force violates their Constitutional rights and it must be stopped.

What happens when you find yourself in the middle of Corruption versus Dedication?  Justice versus Usurping Authority?  Commitment versus Constitution?  Innocence versus Injustice?  Faith versus Fear?

I want to preface that I still stand behind law enforcement knowing full well there’s plenty of rotten apples, but when you find yourself having to go against some of those you once believed in and supported, the betrayal leaves you mad as hell with a passionate pursuit to end all this physical, emotional and spiritual harm. 

I had no idea advocacy meant I would find myself right smack in the middle of an exposed corruption ring within our correctional facilities through excessive force and inhumane conditions while a beloved child was at the core of just a minuscule part of it.

Between healing from surgery and going through further treatment alongside of this corruption case, writing is going to be sporadic and take a backseat as I fulfill my duties being a mom and an inmate advocate and making sure justice prevails.  There’s a mama’s heart that would love to react with my cast-iron horns fully emerged while spewing out flaming arrows, but…

I don’t know what emulating my Lord looks like exactly because each day there’s a new violation and I haven’t always reacted in a positive, loving manner with the COs with all of these emotions.  When your child is under the umbrella of abuse and injustice and his Constitutional rights have been violated again and again, you better believe I’m going to Faith the Fear boldly and courageously!  And I do not care WHO YOU ARE!

I am choosing to love my son mirroring the words penned from Paul in 2 Timothy 4:16-17.  I want him to feel the love of the Lord alongside of him through support, encouragement, visitation, phone calls, unconditional love and especially being an advocate demanding his due rights so he knows he’s not alone. 

Someone has to stand up for these inmates.  The system is slow and corrupt and families and friends dwindle away real quick.

I firmly believe hope replaces discouragement while trust overcomes doubt because my God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).  That’s being His hands and feet!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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Two Are Better Than One… Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless True Friends 1

Two are better than One,

because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
    his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
    and has no one to help him u
p!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Hello Beautiful!  I hope you are having an amazing week realizing just how beautiful you are.  I pray you were able to rest in God’s grace and be cleansed by His lathering of love.  It’s amazing what refreshment does to a parched soul.  Living in peace blossoms the true beauty within.  It’s that time again, it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

God designed our lives for companionship, the need for others, not living in isolation and going at it alone.  Loneliness was never a part of God’s orchestration, instead He created the beauty found in intimacy with Him and one another.  We need each other!  Let’s challenge ourselves this week to be a true friend with childlike intentions.  Let’s share Blameless Blossoms True Beauty Withinour story with another Beloved the struggles we are feeling through the lens of Truth and Trust as we embrace this gift in what vulnerability offers while being raw and candid.  The healing that will come from this transparency will be liberating, but it will also bond you to the one you’re sharing with.

One thing I have learned by allowing my life to be completely exposed (and I’m talking about being totally naked here with nowhere to hide) through the transparency, rawness and complete vulnerability is we all struggle with insecurities, feelings of shame, defeat, fear, anxiety, depression, you name it!  We’re all imperfect beings living in an imperfect world so why hide behind our struggles of imperfections that are intended to help us grow and become even more radiant!  When we share our lives with another Beloved, it offers peace knowing someone else is shouldering the pain.  This is how God turns our ashes into beauty.  Living in peace blossoms the true beauty within!

When we open up our lives by sharing areas of weakness that are uncomfortable for us to talk about, it paves the way for God to bring healing and support needed to battle and conquer our darkness.  We are also blessing the other person we’re sharing with because if we are opening up our hearts, that expresses to the other person that they’re loved and worthy of trust.  When we share our lives and struggles with one another, it not only unlocks our fears and the suppressed pain, but it gives God the room to bring healing to that area we didn’t want touched, much less exposed. 

We need community and we need each other; that’s how God designed us.  Sharing our stories offers intimacy and it opens the window to see clearly through the lens of how God intended true friendships to be.  No matter how old we are, there is still a little girl residing within our tender hearts who wants to love and be loved and play.  

Seeing through the lens of a True Friend is acknowledging the need for others.  In fact, a true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while others believe the smile you’re wearing!  Blameless True Friends 1This requires sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.  You’ll be blessing that other person by sharing your struggles because they’re probably going through similar trials themselves.  Trust is a treasure chest filled with golden nuggets. 

This is the beauty found in connections.  Sharing leads to trust.  Trust leads to healing.  Healing then brings peace and beauty out of the ashes.  True friends make our good days better, but they also offer strength to make the hard times lighter and easier through their love and support.  We just have to reach out and Be-Loved!

We all have hundreds of acquaintance-type friends between social media and through our own channels of networking.  We also have friends that have been in our lives for years, yet for whatever reason, the friendship remains on the superficial side without vulnerability because of past betrayal or through gossip and hurts.  Let’s embrace our friendships or even cultivate new ones enjoying the benefits of being a true friend first so we can get to a new level of deeper understanding and intimacy together.

After all, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us: 

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
    his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
    and has no one to help him up!

Weekly Challenge:  Challenge yourself this week to reach out and share your story with a friend or a new friend and watch the bond of that transparency and vulnerability remove the veil of shame that you’ve been hiding behind.  When we share our hurts, others will share theirs as well.  There’s nothing in our lives worthy of shame to hide behind.  We have been redeemed and we are Beautiful Beloveds, royal heiresses to the kingdom of God.  Let’s claim what freedom being the real beautiful “us” offers.

There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name! 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next? Part 3

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?

Part 3

Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love.   Ephesians 5:1-2 ~ Live, Laugh, Love

Today was the day I decided to take complete power back and away from my abusers by talking about it.  They no longer rule or have any power through their threats of shame over my heart.  I was hoping that the love found through healthy communication mirroring 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 in being patient and kind, keeping no record of wrongs while not being easily angered, would bring some sort of fresh resolution or even repentance through changed behavior, but…

Someone has to stop generational strongholds of abuse in order to bring justice.  That requires awareness of behaviors and COMMUNICATION as we faith the fear.  Investing precious time into our relationships not only shows love, but it also revives honor. 

This is why I love running to my Bible for guidance because I need calm over chaos.  I refuse to exist in that world anymore.  I want to be more like my loving Savior so I can learn to love better and forgive easier.  Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love.  I choose to live this way the best I can because Love sees through the lens of Truth!  I choose to live, laugh and love much while others live in rage and bitterness.

Being imitators of God that Ephesians 4:29-32 states is hard.  It means to try not letting any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths (especially when we’re upset), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Discounting a person’s voice is not only disrespectful, but where’s the love in that? 

Communication takes at least two voices, right?  Well, unless you’re living in the wounded warrior world, that world-of-one torment that engages in battle with thyself and rips your opponent apart in your mind and exhausts you like any real battle would!  All that does is exposes our hearts by holding us captive inBlameless Bee Kind 1 our cells of hell filled with nothing but rage and bitterness.  No wonder we’re angry people.  It also prohibits us from being present because we’re always present in the wrong neighborhood.

I’ll share an excerpt of what my last wounded warrior world was like next time!  It’s sad, but we also have to laugh at times at how we destroy ourselves and waste valuable energy.  Here the honey bees with the stingers say, “If we’re going to die, we’re taking you down with us.”  Who needs the enemy’s affliction; we destroy ourselves by cultivating the hurt that is brewing inside our hearts.  We need to be kind to ourselves.

My speaking coach/mentor challenged me to narrow my writing and speaking skills towards the passion that ignites me to work tirelessly starting up my nonprofit organization, Blameless and Forever Free Ministries.  My heart’s desire and hope is to help meet the needs of those who are hurting by building a bridge between church and state for the oppressed.

Being a survivor myself saved by nothing short of grace after decades of torment, it took me awhile to understand why I have such a gift of love for all beloveds and why forgiveness comes easily.  When you have been hurt much and forgiven much by Love Himself, it makes it easy to pour love into others and situations that need a covering of peace and inspiration.  Plus, I don’t want anyone to suffer all alone because all lives matter!

I have watched far too many Beloveds try and go at it alone and all they are doing by being shackled to shame and guilt is refusing the power that is available to them:  Freedom!  God Blameless Freedom Found in Exposuredid not design us for isolation to hide when we’re embarrassed and humiliated, He designed us to need others and to be seen.  We need the power of our friends’ strength to encourage us to the finish line.  There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name!

With this recent heartache of rejection and my failed attempts at reconciliation, the stinger was easily removed because I didn’t hide in isolation from this “supposed shame” being rejected and unloved; therefore, its infection was thwarted in spreading.  I knew I was loved by God and I needed the help of others to process sharing my heart or depression would have sunk in.  This vulnerability of exposure removed the stinger before it did more damage.  I bounced back rather quickly because my faith radiated who God says I am, along with walking alongside of girlfriends who helped open my eyes to see through the lens of Truth. 

Friendships pull stingers out and bring healing to the sting before its infection spreads through love and support.

I don’t know about you, but I can spend way too much energy judging myself more critically and harsher than any abuser while believing the lies of the enemy.  If only we could remember to spend our energy being the radiance of His Perfect Love!  God does promise us His blessings, but many of these gifts require our active obedience and participation.

This is where God unveils His destiny in bringing beauty from my ashes through His purpose and plan for my pain.  Now I get to love on others who are considered unlovable.  I get to be a voice for those who lost theirs through abuse and abandonment.  And now I’m honored to walk alongside of the masses who are walking through disease and death because I’ve walked victoriously through it myself.

Tasting and seeing the Lord is an invitation to experience the gift of His grace.  “I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:4-5).  Today I’m living in freedom and flying free of yesterday’s guilt, today’s fears, and tomorrow’s grave.  All because God loves me just the way I am.

There’s something about freedom…  The purity of the innocence in letting go and yet the boldness in knowing your life matters!  We all want to know our lives matter.

Until next time..

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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I Need A Bath! Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless My Peace I Leave With You

I Need A Bath!

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you’ve been having a blessed week filled with strength to keep pressing in along with a huge supply of patience sojourning this side of heaven.  It’s that time again; it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

I don’t know about you, but I’m filthy and stained!  I need daily cleansing.  I’m not as white as snow as I’d like to be.  I’ve been wallowing through the muck and yuck of mundane tasks on top of demanding peeps.  I need the purifying cleansing that only being bathed in God’s peace can accomplish! 

When we rest in His grace and are cleansed by His living waters, God bestows His Love that lathers up and washes away the filth that is clouding our lenses and keeping us in the wrong neighborhood (mindset).  Those little irritants can add up quickly when we allow them to brew inside our hearts.  It’s amazing how easy it is to become bitter and impatient, snapping on those who dare come within a few feet of us.

Bathing In His Love

God wants us to bathe in His peace as He lathers us with His Great Love, His grace and His tender mercies.  We would bode well if we made it a part of our daily regimen, bathing in His soothing waters of life and peace through prayer and time spent in His Word.  God wants to give us the simple pleasures of life, like bath time. 

Light a few candles and immerse yourself into how faithful God has been bringing you through the day or through the tough month.  Immerse yourself into these purifying waters and take a deep breath and reflect.  This is probably one of the hardest areas for us busy women to accomplish, but it’s so worth the discipline. 

One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  This governs our decisions and lifestyle choices and attitudes.  This radiance is where we witness the changes in our character that emulate more of the life of Christ.  Rest is a weapon God uses to bless us with.

Blameless Bathtub

We can never forget that Rest is a weapon God blesses us with.  After all, even God rested after the sixth day of work.  The enemy hates when we rest because he wants us stressed out and preoccupied!

God was up to something unique when He added the element of rest to our lives.  If the Lord God Almighty rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2-3), that means His Beloveds need rest for restoration and reunification.  How else can we get refilled?  Goditude mindsets take discipline.  After all, we need solitude time to be still and snuggle in close to the Lord.  We can’t let ourselves feel guilty when we take our own time out!  There’s comfort found here, even Jesus took time out for solitude (Mark 1:35). 

This is why I love Ephesians 1:4, it reminds us of what God foreknew, For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.  In love…”  There’s no way being holy and blameless can be accomplished when we’re overwhelmed and stressed out.

Needs are endless with the pulling and tugging on our time and hearts.  I am trying to be a Beloved that understands this need to practice the discipline of solitude.  Bathtubs help Beloveds push pause, so let’s take a bubble bath and get cleansed so the filth of our days and our exhausting journeys won’t rub off onto others! 

If we’re going to be radiant in a dirty and polluted world, we need self-control to be still and allow our minds to be renewed so we can walk in love.  As St. Augustine said, Love grows within us…“for love is the beauty of the soul.”

“Since love grows within you, so beauty grows.  For love is the beauty of the soul.”  St. Augustine

Weekly Challenge:  The Lord wants His Beloveds radiant.  Let’s make a lifetime discipline choice this week to allow ourselves 10, 15 minutes each day to become one with the Spirit in order to quiet our minds while washing away the filth of each day.  This will empower us with the ability to think His thoughts. 

Lord, we enter your presence with thanksgiving and praise.  We love you, Lord.  For your Love is good and endures forever.  We pray that you would refresh our bodies as you renew our strength.  As Beloveds, we yearn and crave to be restored.  We desire to be more like you and we thank you for the transformation taking place as You renew our minds.  Thank you for this quiet time of reflection as you awaken us to our need to be at rest while we’re still working this side of heaven.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next? Part 2

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next? 

Part 2

Violence, pain and suffering is predominant in the world today.  Why do children hate their parents?  Why do parents slaughter, use as weapons of mass destruction, or even sell and reject their own children?  How do wars between brother against brother and sister against sister ignite?  Where’s the love?

Hurt People Hurt Others

Jesus came to redeem our hurts, our lives, our families, by and through His blood which cost God so much.  I don’t know about you, but I’m in need of His daily transfusion of blood to cleanse my own soul and wash away my sins.

Needed:  Daily Blood Transfusions

Sadly, the world is full of sick, evil and hurt people whose hurts have never been worked through along with mental illness that has been swept underneath the rug for generations.  Instead of being diagnosed and treated, it has advanced into a full-fledged epidemic.  It’s tragic because there is no shame in having mental illness.  Anxiety, depression, addiction and eating disorders and rage are prevalent because they have been shamed for far too long.  This world may demand perfection, but as I say in my advocacy:

There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name!

Being vulnerable where deep hurts are involved is more than uncomfortable, but I know there are many Beloveds who need to hear how God’s amazing grace sustained me so they can lean in and press through themselves.  It is hard when the world beats down on you Blameless Crown Tiarra 7making you feel insignificant and irrelevant, and you don’t know where to turn or even if you’re important enough to be seen or matter.  We all want to know we’re enough.

We can’t claim victory when we’re weaponless, have dull blades on our swords, so exhausted we can’t even see or think straight, not to mention when we’re starving and freezing cold.  This is where we get the option to either believe the lies of the enemy or allow God to pour out His Love into our depleted souls by tenderly affirming us.  The way He reaches down and coddles and comforts us next to His beating heart reassures us of our meaningful existence and His Great Love that is found in the beautiful pages of scripture.  I can’t advocate enough for the strength and peace received through peeling the pages of the Bible wide open.  Life literally pours out and ushers you into a relationship that offers freedom and acceptance!

When we’re wounded, even the slightest hiss will send us hiding!

God wants to wrap His everlasting arms around us tight until we slowly release our grip as we become aware and realize how loved and valued we are.  We are so cherished, God pursues our lives.  Us girls love to be pursued, don’t we?  I know I do!  He even serenades over us as He rejoices over our existence (Zephaniah 3:17).  I don’t know about you, but I have never been serenaded so the realization of this warms my tender heart and soul.

God designed us to need and be receptive to this kind of Great Love so we can realize where our worth and value derive from.  His Love is that good, fulfilling and rewarding.  And it never ceases.  There’s nothing we can do to lose His Love either.  For us Beloveds who have been rejected and abandoned, that is nourishment to feast on for our depleted souls. 

Seeing ourselves from God’s perspective opens the pathway of our hearts and knocks down the barriers of pride that hinders our confidence.  This way we don’t have to stay hidden, humiliated and ashamed because we were rejected, in our protective shells.  We can stand tall, with feet fitted firmly in the ground, knowing our worth and value.

This is why I constantly share why I go to the Bible first when in distress.  The Word is alive and active.  When I’ve been attacked, forsaken and rejected, thrown out as discarded leftovers, my heart is shattered.  I need guidance, grace, and reassuring tender mercies of love and worth thatBlameless Hebrews 4.12 (2) will help remind me and give clarity to who God says I am.  That is why the Bible is so powerful.

We can’t lose sight of the fact that hurt people hurt others.  Victims of heinous behaviors would be repeating the same thing to others if we didn’t have this loving and powerful Word of God to equip us with the ability to withstand the flaming arrows of the enemy along with the ability to forgive.  This allows us to reach out with compassion to others.  We need to share our testimonies of strength and deliverance.  Hebrews 4:12-13 clears up any miscommunication about the benefits of the Bible:  “For the Word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”

Beautiful Beloved, being victims of another person’s pain confuses what true, healthy love and behaviors are.  Our worth and value comes from the Lord God Almighty, not anyone else!  This will help us understand why many of us feel unloved and unwanted.  We will do just about everything and anything to fulfill that void.  When others fail to meet our expectations and afflict pain onto our already tattered and fragile lives, we often look outside of ourselves for this very reason. 

God created us with unique qualities that NO ONE BESIDES US has, and without that quality, there would be no beauty in the bunch!  Please do not allow anyone to rob you of your gifts, beauty and talents.  The world needs you!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Live Laugh Love 1.1

 

When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?

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When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?

Part 1

I’ve been abused, abandoned and rejected.  Now what?  What does that say about me when others treat me as rubbish and waste?  We only discard filth, so does that mean I’m not worthy to be loved, honored and cherished?  Who discards their child with contempt anyways? 

Disclaimer:  This blog series for the next couple months may trigger some Beloveds that have been a victim of abuse.  Abuse and rejection are hard areas to heal.

Who wants to vocalize and admit they’re a victim of abuse, abandonment and rejection?   Not me, but it’s something we need to talk about and share with one another, so…

We all desire to be loved, accepted and belong.  I am no exception.  Admitting I was thrown out as waste and unwanted droppings automatically labeled me as a reject, unwanted, refused, loser, no value, screwed up, refund demanded!  What does that say Blameless Clearance Rack 3about me as a Beloved, my worth and value, and every decision I would make subsequently thereafter? 

When you’re not wanted and abandoned, that rejection tears right through your heart, mind, body and soul.  Plus, you don’t know how to love or be loved; instead you become one whom must perform to others’ expectations in order to be loved.  WRONG!

I’m glad I’m a Beloved who chases after my Lord, even though He never leaves our side.  Otherwise, I truly don’t know how I would have walked through such a lonely, hopeless and heartbreaking journey, much less become the bold and courageous Beloved I am today.  God turned my ashes into beauty.  I know I’m God’s treasured daughter who was once found at the bottom of the dump, but God meticulously cleaned me up and now I’m crowned skipping merrily in freedom, confidence and wholeness.  What a beautiful assurance of His Great Love.  That’s called a beautiful exchange!

As the torturing fire of acknowledgement burns the pit of my stomach as I write, my mouth regurgitates “I’ve been rejected, AGAIN!”  The reality of such an abominable tragedy to any child is overwhelming, but the power from the eruption of St. Tammy’s Emotions exposes an even deeper level of loss and insecurities.

I am so grateful the Lord didn’t consider me scraps that are thrown out to the pigs.  Instead He chooses to love, cherish and relentlessly pursue me so much that He even extended His loving arms down from heaven to protect me when I drove myself off that cliff 37 years ago and redeemed my life with His Great Love.

God doesn’t kick His children to the curb or throw them away like a piece of deplorable regret.  In fact, He calls His children His masterpieces and works of art!  His Love never ceases and He will never forsake us either.  There’s nothing we can do to lose that Love.

When We’re Considered A Piece of Deplorable Regret!

I am not the only person who’s been rejected and abused, much less abandoned.  My heart genuinely grieves for the Beloveds that have been violently tormented.  My teeth grit just thinking about the unconscionable behavior of others.  It’s hell that no one could even begin to understand unless you’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death yourself. 

Emotional trauma caused by those who profess to love you is the hardest journey to walk through victoriously.  It can cause other mental health issues such as depression, addiction, eating disorders, you name it, just to escape and numb the pain that afflicts the heart and mind.  I know, alcohol makes a great numbing agent, or did!

This is really hard for me to talk about.  Dealing with the tragedies of life and facing it head on is something that is outside of my comfort zone without Mr. Denial, but…

When one is discarded like rubbish, though, this torment leaves a permanent marking from the scorching cauterization of the branding iron.  This imprint of “rejected” forever tarnishes one’s worth and value tragically and effects behaviors regarding life, love and choices and decisions.  Even effects our relationship with God.

God is a God of love and mercy, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103:8) who never leaves our side.  I’ve been healed by the touch of God and now I understand why I passionately want to help the unlovable because all lives matter and deserve to be loved. 

One thing is absolutely certain besides my tangent:  No one is unlovable and removed from the touch of God!

My bestie lovingly reminded me of the worse offenders to help soothe the sting of my abuser’s manic explosion.  She shared, “Some moms sell their children as sex slaves for rent money and to satisfy their own drug fix.”

We are not the labels our offenders branded us with!

The greatest gift God gives us is family and friendships.  If we’ve been orphaned, God brings us friendships to fill those vacancies and walk alongside of us being the hands and feet of God, along with offering their precious hearts and time.  The love, hope and affirmations we receive from our relationships cultivate our beauty to bloom right where we’re planted.  That’s how we thrive and not just survive.  Investing precious time into our relationships not only shows love, but it also revives honor.

Because we are loved immeasurably more than we could ever imagine, the torturous time feeling invisible and insignificant, you know, overlooked because we are tossed out with the rest of the trash, God sees us.  He not only sees us, He is even proud to be seen with us and calls us the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8).  Blameless Crown Tiarra 7To know we are His prized possession and treasured Beloveds should empower us to walk bravely and take risks with confidence knowing He will never leave us. 

When only Love could make a way, being immersed in God’s mercy and love creates a wholeness and contentment of heart.  Knowing we are called His treasured daughters enables us to forgive our offenders.  People are full of pain and pride and sickness.  Shame cripples and shackles.  It’s a powerful membrane.  But we don’t have to stay entangled in the Black Widow’s web of destruction.

Honestly, even though I am at a great place in my life spiritually, professionally and emotionally, admitting that I’m orphaned and not wanted is a hard pill to swallow.  It’s hard to admit that.  It does leave a sense of loss to my heart, but I’ll allow this pain to help others.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless New Beginnings 1.1

 

You Don’t Have To Change A Thing, You Are Beautiful Just The Way You Are! The World Needs What Only You Can Offer!

Blameless Different Culture of Women Final

You Don’t Have To Change A Thing,

You Are Beautiful Just The Way You Are!

The World Needs What Only You Can Offer!

Sitting amongst a loud and crowded restaurant, it was hard not to overhear the many conversations blaring from the lively group of young adult beauties.  Between the excitement of the 4th of July festivities to their summertime travels, one thing was apparent:  They spent more time comparing and competing and criticizing than celebrating the beautiful beloveds they all were.

What is it about us beloveds spending time engaged in conversations that are filled with comparisons, criticism and competition instead of celebrating each other and our lives?  Why can’t we just be, imperfections and all, instead of the superficial boasting of lies?

Being honest here, I am older and wiser being Grammy Tammy, but due to my own battle scars and stitches and imperfections, I was feeling a bit envious myself because I no longer possessed that youthful appearance equipped with perfect skin and a sculpted body; but I only wonder how most Beloveds feel once they get home and process all those destructive comments spewed out through jealousy, comparison and competition?

To Everyone Wishing They Were Someone Else,

We Need You To Be Your Beautiful and Unique Self!

We all want to be seen and heard!  I get that.  We all want to believe that we’re loved and valued.  And we are!  But why do we label others that are different than us?  Why do we size each other up before we even get to know what’s below the superficial facade?  There’s beauty underneath all these differences and scars.

I spent years wasting my own youthful beauty instead of enjoying it by creating this ditzy-blonde alter ego because my intelligence intimated most men coupled with the physical beauty I possessed at the time.  The girls hated me and the boys were afraid of me!  Talk about stepping stones leading to strongholds of insecurities and destruction of any self-worth and value. 

But to defame my God-given gift of intelligence just to fit in and be accepted is similar to what many Beloveds are doing nowadays with hiding behind their perceived imperfections in being different because of the color of their skin, the size of their bodies, and the differing cultures and attitudes similar to the competition and demands dictated by society leading to all these cosmetic surgeries.

My body back then had to be rail thin; in fact, at my old height of 5’11”, I weighed in at 135 pounds, wore a size 3, and I was considered three pounds overweight for my modeling.  Talk about creating a body image struggle at its finest hour.  God forbid to be caught dead in a bikini three pounds overweight at a size 3?  We have been taught to be something we’re not instead of embracing who God designed us to be and the beauty that lies and radiates within.  Look at all the joy and fun we are missing because of this mindset.

Who determines what beautiful is anyways?  Is it a Victoria Secret model with stunning long legs and a sculpted face like Gigi Hadid?  How about a humanitarianism beauty likeBlameless Walls Beautiful Definition Angelina Jolie?  Better yet, how about the beautiful Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton herself, the royal princess loved by all? 

My definition of beautiful is that being beautiful has nothing to do with looks.  It’s how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves.  I call and identify all Beloveds I encounter as Beautiful.  Just ask any of my friends, doctors and associates.  Those are spoken words worth repeating because they’re truthful and they build up!

We have to stop the labeling.  We have to stop the comparing.  We have to stop being somebody we were not designed and created to be.  We all have imperfections.  We cannot continue to tear down one another.  We all are uniquely designed with qualities that only WE HAVE!  God designed us to be the only person with our unique qualities.  Now that’s something to embrace and celebrate and be confident about!

How about we start celebrating a new nation this Independence Day determining to believe and behave that all lives matter, realizing our need for each other, to learn values and attributes that the other person can teach, to enjoy the qualities and gifts that others offer, and to celebrate the life and beauty of each Beautiful Beloved.  God designed us all differently for a reason.  Without each other, there is no beauty in the bunch.   

When I was the “perfect 10” by society’s standards, educated model with it all, I hated everything about myself and even tried to destroy it because I didn’t feel I belonged or fit in, and I wanted to be noticed and loved.  And yet with that yearning to be “somebody” at any cost, I was willing to destroy it all in order to be sculpted into something else that society deemed worthy of love.  That is when God proclaimed that He was the sculptor, the Divine artist, and He created a masterpiece who was already beautiful.

Why is it when we have straight hair, we want curly hair?  Better yet, I remember being flat chested and wanting large breasts.  Well, now due to child bearing and age, gravity has blessed me with large breasts and I don’t want them.  You know how hard it is to find blouses that accommodate a larger bust without making you look pregnant?  Hello…

Blameless Without Each Other

Let’s celebrate this Independence Day by embracing our newfound freedom in accepting each other, every color and culture, our bodies, our beauty, our value and uniqueness, and the Beautiful Beloveds God designed us all to be.  No more running and hiding from our beautiful selves.  No more apologizing for who we are.  Let’s embrace the uniqueness that no one else has except for us.  Our lives matter, each one of us.  God designed us all unique with value that no one else has or can offer.  Thank you for contributing your beauty to the bunch.  The world would be dark and gloomy, not to mention flavorless, without your beautiful self.

Enjoy listening to the amazing lyrics and words from other beloveds in this video from Alessia Cara’s song, “Scars To Your Beautiful.”

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

 

It Takes More Than Courage To Be Kind To Yourself! Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

Blameless Beautiful Be-Held

It Takes More Than Courage To Be Kind To Yourself!

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

Beauty exists in the mind of the Be-Loved and Be-Held!

Hello Beautiful!  I pray you’re having a blessed week so far filled with strength to press through with an abundant supply of tender mercies that we all need to remember our worth and value sojourning this side of heaven.  It’s that time again; it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays! 

I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to believe that beauty exists solely in the eyes of the beholder rather than remembering that it exists in the mind of the Be-Loved and Be-Held!  And as I’m walking through some health issues, the appearance of infection and scars have left me wanting to hide behind closed doors until I’m healed completely.

How does a Beautiful Beloved remember that our beauty exists in the mind of the Be-Loved and Be-Held?  If our very own Creator reminds us to be gentle and kind to ourselves as we Blameless Walls Beautiful Definitioncelebrate how He created our inmost being by intricately knitting us together in our mother’s womb, how do we not praise Him for fearfully and wonderfully creating us while being awakened to how His beautiful works of art are seen and are enough (Psalm 139:13-14)?

I don’t know about you, but quite often lately, I am having to focus on who God says I am by how valuable and beautiful I am in His sight, especially since my battle scars have left me with more imperfections and somewhat deformed looking due to an infection.  That requires discipline with self-compassion and kindness.  I am trying to remind myself that being Beautiful has nothing to do with looks.  It’s how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves.  Being kind to everyone includes OURSELVES and that more often than not is dependent upon the COURAGE to love ourselves that a lot of us neglect.  Guilty as charged! ♥♥

Sadly, so many of us tender hearts have a tendency to forget just how valuable and beautiful we truly are.  I know for myself, this past week has had me screaming like a horror film fit for Halloween.  I was starting to feel like nothing but Blameless Mirror Wickedbare, dry bones falling out of the mirror just for a taste of something sweet as I glanced and saw what horror a rough week, or month for that matter, had done to a Beautiful Beloved.  The only bubbly I was holding onto was the ongoing battlefield going on in my brain and my deflection in trying to control it!

How can we claim and exude that confidence in knowing we are blossoming right where God has planted us which requires love and attention that we are supposed to embrace in the nurture and care of our own self when all we’re left with is being dry and brittle?  It’s okay to cry.  It’s okay to scream.  It’s okay to be disappointed.  We just have to remember to speak words of affirmation to ourselves filled with love, patience and grace.  Consoling our bruised and tender souls offers healing and is needed for a reason as we learn to be kind to ourselves.

Since I proudly wear my crown and say I’m high maintenance (gotta have me my Jesus time so my brittle bones can dance with life), that requires consistent nourishment (hello… feed me, feed me, feed me 🙂 ); you know, tender loving care that consists of peace and compassion, along with that gentle and consistent touch that the Word of God offers to heal our depleted hearts.

I have come to the conclusion that us Beautiful Beloveds can only walk in our beauty when we learn to practice the delicate art of kindness and self-compassion.  When we do so much for others and teeter across that fine line of forgetting ourselves, we need to pull the reins tightly and bask into some dedicated “ME” time. ♥♥

Never forget, Beautiful Beloved, being kind to yourself in words, thoughts and deeds is just as important, if not more beneficial, to our communities as being kind and loving to others!  Think thoughts that are true, pure, lovely and affirming when you’re talking to yourself.  It’s okay to allow the peace and healing to begin!  It’s called self-compassion; and you’re so worth it! 

Weekly challenge:  This weekly challenge is solely dedicated to being Beautiful You.  Let’s take care of self!!!  It’s our week to be kind to ourselves with compassion.  Let’s never forget that beauty doesn’t exist in the eyes of the beholder, it exists in the mind of the Be-Loved and Be-Held!  Let’s be refreshed, rejuvenated and restored this week.

Until next time…

 

Blameless Flower 6.6

When Words Pierce Our Armor And Hurt Like Hell

Blameless Prepared For Battle

When Words Pierce Our Armor And Hurt Like Hell

Are You Prepared For Battle?  The Enemy Is! 

Manic Explosion vs. Armor of God, Part One!

If recovering from a fierce infection that attacked the heart’s chamber with erratic arrhythmia wasn’t jolting enough, the deep lacerations from daggers of hate and rage that accompanied a manic explosion would.  Who plans an attack on others while they’re in the hospital?  The enemy does, especially when your relationship with Jesus exposes their lies.

Family and friends are usually a great source for consolation and encouragement during traumatic times, but words from a meticulously planned attack were intended to take me out.  Patients are vulnerable to many infections during hospitalizations.  When random attacks from a family member announced their concern by delivering calibrated electrical shocks more powerful than any defibrillator left me stunned and infected. 

The explosion of this manic shrapnel left me bewildered and injured.  The slamming words of hate and bitterness increased the pressure of infection that laid beneath the sutures holding the weak and tattered heart together.  Hurt people hurt people; we all know that.  But how does a beloved swim against the current in a raging storm when the flaming arrows of the enemy refuse to cease?

Why is it people use the word “love” as a means to exercise control and manipulation?  God calls love an action, not a feeling or means for abuse.  When people are trying to keep the fuel lines of anger going while we work ever so hard to bring peace and forgiveness, they become desperate and exaggerate our imperfections to keep the truth from being exposed.  But when the offensive armor of our sword is sharpened, the injury afflicted willBlameless Forgiveness Even When It Hurts sting, but life-giving courage offers us to see clearly through all the bloodshed, carnage and death.

Her words pierced as she vomited words of rejection.  Her own shame caused from humiliation that the exposure of truths and confrontation delivered left her pride to declare “Done.”  I was shocked that she would choose my second hospitalization to download her shame and guilt.  Maybe it’s because her absence is normally the rule and she needed justification, I don’t know.  This time something was different.  So different that even my own reaction shocked me.

I used to run after unhealthy love and relationships.  I would do anything (understatement, hello!) to receive this conditional love of abuse in order to be affirmed and belong.  Everyone wants to be acknowledged and loved, but that longing becomes intense when we’ve been orphaned.  The cravings can be insatious when we are depleted of the affections that the covering of love is supposed to offer.  Abandonment and rejection can lead us down a path that is dangerously unhealthy.

Even though I may be orphaned, the love of my good, good Father in heaven has adopted me and claimed me as His own.  He has poured so much love over and through my heart, soul, body and mind as He relentlessly pursues me, His love has captured me and brought healing.  My relationship with my daddy enables me to keep my sword sharpened so that when the enemy attacks at the most inopportune time, and we’re talking here about a slivering and sneaky enemy who moves about lurking for someone to ambush (like in the hospital), we can raise our shields of faith to withstand these flaming arrows.

Oh sure, the words stated hurt.  I cried a bit in the hospital in order to release enough of this toxicity from further damaging my heart, but between the love, touch and prayers offered from fabulous friends, I was able to keep self-controlled long enough until I got home.  Then once I got home, I cried me a Noah’s Flood as I tried to process and understand this affliction that erupted from an emotional plague.  Some things are better left unknown.

So what are we supposed to do when others have manic episodes exposing their true bleeding hearts?  Yes, we are to forgive them, no doubt; but how do we get to that point where we’re able to forgive?  That forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we will continue to engage in a relationship with them, but how can we become free from the toxicity that was poured out?

For me, that required surrendered time in prayer while being immersed in God’s Word to understand this pain.  God blessed me with an amazing bestie who knows my heart and celebrates my life through the good, bad and ugly.  This allowed me to be vulnerable Blameless Crown Tiarra 7without fear of judgment in order to process through the pain while receiving comfort and peace. 

I didn’t have to spend weeks or even months reliving this trauma in trying to understand how cold and bitter another beloved’s heart was through hurtful words and why they were spewed out.  Trying to tarnish another beloved’s character only exposes your own depth of rage and bitterness.  That energy and focus stays on who God says I am, His Treasured Daughter.

Every day as I am overcoming, I am becoming more and more like Him.  Pain is inevitable, sadly.  I am learning to be true to myself, react with love and continue sojourning this side of heaven without the lingering effects of pain caused by others.

You see, I am trying to embrace the fact that I am a Beautiful Beloved chosen and pursued by the Lord God Almighty, just like you!  God is the one who holds the key to my heart.  Nobody can strip me of my identity and worth; not family or ex-husbands.  They didn’t give me my identity to begin with so why would anyone feel that they could actually take it away, especially through threat and coercion?  They may try as they are crafty, but the more I know and love my good, good father and the more I realize how much He truly loves me just the way I am, their daggers and threats cannot penetrate my armor.

Because we are loved by our amazing father, nobody can take away our acceptance.  Nobody can take away our love that is freely given.  Nobody can take away our identity.  Why?  Because it was never theirs to give us in the first place.  That love is given by our Lord and no one else.  That’s what He did for you and me.  We are unconditionally loved by Him.  That’s what He does, He gives.  He doesn’t demand we conform to His way or the highway, He loves us just the way we are!

You know, it’s not about what our family did or does, nor what our friends do or did.  We need to remember where to place our focus and receive our affections.  It’s about what God did for us.  If we can just remember that it’s about what God did for us, we won’t concentrate on the afflictions that others cast upon us.  We will live bravely knowing we are the Bride of Christ and have royal blood running through our veins while being unconditionally loved.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Don't Leave Home Without It (3)1

 


 

Be A Warrior, Not A Worrier! Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless Warrior Not A Worrier 1

 

Be A Warrior, Not A Worrier!

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

John 14:27

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Hi Beautiful!  I hope you received the many prayers I offered up last week asking our Lord to cover you with undeniable peace and joy.  After all, that is the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives.  If you’re peaceful and full of joy, that just radiates His glory.  It’s that time again; it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

How do we go about our daily lives claiming this peace that Jesus offers us in John 14:27?  First of all, I pondered this a lot in the hospital.  I don’t know about you, but when I’m fretting and worrying about things I need to do and fix, like when we’re in the hospital, my focus leaves abiding in the comfort and strength of my faith and the Lord’s grace and promises.  Instead it binds and holds me captive and restrained, wrapped up and spun tightly in the torment of worry.

I personally have to remember David’s proclamation in Psalm 18 that God promises to give us strength to meet these challenges that threaten our peace so we can walk through them victoriously instead of focusing on the wished-upon elimination.  This is where we get tripped up and frustrated, expecting them to be eliminated.  How else are we going to grow?  “You armed me with strength for battle (Psalm 18:39).” 

The Lord arms us with His strength by equipping us with the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-18).  He does not want His beloveds discouraged and defeated.  There are two major pieces I don’t dare leave my bed without putting on every day after prayer.  Prayer is the upmost vital connection and instrument that activates the other pieces.

The first piece is the breastplate of  righteousness.  This breastplate protects our heart which is the very seat of our emotions, you know, our self-worth and trust.  And secondly, our shields of faith protects us from the enemy’s flaming arrows that come in the form of insults, temptations, or even setbacks.  This helps us see and move beyond our circumstances knowing that victory is ours for the taking.

Our lives are full of battles, filled with stresses and anxieties.  The Lord knows this; that’s why He gently nudges our hearts and invites us to open up His Word and engage in a relationship with Him.  His desire is to cover us with His Great Love that equips us with the courage to boldly walk through our battles.  How can we trust Him if we don’t take the time to get to know Him?  Talk about Love that transforms us into Warriors, not Worriers!

God reassures us that these battles are against the powers of this world, the enemy, which are led solely to disrupt and create barriers that cause doubts against the love of our Lord, but how He desires to help bring peace to our weary souls. 

He gave us Matthew 6 which caters to worry and anxiety.  He created the mind and knows how powerful the forces are that control it; worry and anxiety.  He offers help, but we have to take action by getting to know Him.  That requires engaging in a conversation for guidance called prayer.

God gave us courage-infusing and peace-giving passages that all faith walkers need to boldly proclaim warrior status.  For instance, Proverbs 12:25 proclaims the obvious, “An anxious heart weights a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”  1 Peter 5:7 reminds us, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 

When we carry all our worries and struggles by ourselves, it relates that we have not trusted God with our lives.  Letting God have our worries empowers us to not be distracted.  This opens the door of our heart to receive the peace that He promises, thereby positioning our hearts and minds to hear directly from Him.  This way we learn to overcome as we become more like Him.

I don’t know about you, but I become weakened when I suffer; and when I suffer, I fret and worry and find myself parked in the wrong hood, you know, the bad neighborhood of our mind.  Emotional attacks do far more damage to me than removing any vital organ.  These emotional fears usher in worry and anxiety that rob me of my peace, hinders hearing my Lord’s voice, and zaps me of the strength that being a warrior offers.  Sound familiar?

Weekly Challenge:  Overcome anxieties and worry this week by spending some time each day, ten minutes or more, engaging with the Word and getting to know our amazing Lord.  This way we can learn to trust Him as we become equipped with His graces in order to be a warrior, not a worrier! 

Everyone has at least ten minutes to devote daily.  This way you will find yourself with more time to dance gracefully because you cast all your cares and anxieties on Him and it enables your beautiful mind to peacefully and freely waltz.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Blameless Crown Tiarra 7

Thank You For Allowing Me To Be Daddy’s Little Girl For Just A Little While Longer!

Blameless Ballet Innocense

Thank You For Being Such A Great Father!

Happy Father’s Day

Thank You for allowing me to be Daddy’s Little Girl for just a little while longer!

Simple words really…  “Thank you for being such a great Father!”  If they are so simple, then why did hearing those eight simple words take my breath away as it tore into and exposed the deep recesses of my bleeding heart?  How could the innocence and the purity of gratitude produce such intensity and fervor?

As we huddled together in prayer and reflection before setting out to love on the less fortunate, we generally tried to conclude each prayer with praise and gratitude for our own daily provision.  The beautiful and genuine words spoken from a full heart could have easily been overlooked had I not been still and present in the moment. 

Repeating the words that the tender heart spoke with passionate praises and gratitude to God were gentle whispers of “Thank you for being such a great father.”  As I absorbed and digested every consonant and vowel from these simple words flowing from a pure heart, I dropped to my knees into a puddle of tears that developed due to my convicted heart.  

Blameless Daddy SafeAs I fell to my knees in total awe and adoration while pondering this Great Love of the Father that had sheltered me the whole time as I sought refuge by clinging ever-so-tightly to, I wondered when, if ever, I actually conceived or even truly grasped the concept that God was my daddy, my protector, my redeemer; the father I had always craved for, much less thanked and appreciated for being such a great father.  Have I taken His Love for granted without truly realizing what all He’s done for me and what all it cost Him?  That actual awareness flooded my heart and dropped me to my knees!

If we dare to admit honestly, we often take God for granted and push away His blessings.  While that may be true, God nonetheless is always there for us.  He listens to our needless complaints and every whimper while capturing all our tears and holding them as precious in a bottle (Psalm 56:8).  He always walks alongside of us while holding our hand, reassuring us not to be afraid (Isaiah 41:10-13).  He promises to never leave us (Deuteronomy 31:8) and never will; and He gently caresses and strokes our faces while comforting us with affirmations and reassuring value of “I love you just the way you are.” 

So why would a tender heart so loved and acknowledged, one who is always hanging onto those strong and powerful legs ever-so-tightly, not realize that God is the perfect father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5-6)?  Does this mean I took His role for granted through assumption, which we all do at times, or is it because I have always believed I needed to behave or perform a certain way in order to receive His love and, therefore, became too exhausted to just encounter this Great Love affair that is freely offered to anyone who asks and dares to receive?

These simplistic, yet powerful, words evoked such a posture from a girl who has suffered great loss like so many tender hearts today who mourn the loss of a father’s love without the realization of how loved she really is!  Coming from a girl who loves to sing praises to the Lord constantly because of His overflowing joy, I am giddy as I now skip along in life and travel with the Lord as He gently leads and romances my every fiber.  What a love affair!  I love to praise Him for all His wonderful gifts, but thanking him for being such a great father? 

Wow…  It hit me.  God is my daddy.  God’s Love is so amazing and fulfilling, I hadn’t realized my tight grip had become loosened and I was now enjoying the father/daughter waltz with God leading the orchestration and my joy could no longer be contained due to gratitude (Colossians 2:6-7).

As much as I care to admit, I almost feel as if this adoration for God, through vocalization or church attendance, becomes lip service almost at times and not from the heart that Matthew 15:8 talks about.  I mean, if we truly perceived His majesty and His power and His Shekinah glory, our attitudes and mindsets would be so different, so innocent and childlike, so full of awe that we would earnestly seek out that precious time to bow before Him in deep reverence and appreciate life and all its trials and tribulations with grace and dignity.  We would approach life without fear and love more and judge less!  How we take God’s sovereignty lightly and our inheritance for granted!  God owes us nothing; yet gave us His only son to suffer a horrendous death on the cross at Calvary so we could be reconciled to Him (1 John 4).  Now that’s love!!!

If that isn’t enough in and of itself to say thank you for being such a great father, I don’t know what is.  What father (or person) exists 24 hours a day with a belt full of power tools just waiting for us to call upon Him for help?  God loves to help us; if only we would allow Him the opportunity to have Blameless Daddy Pinksome room to fix all of our problems before we decide to intervene because we know it all (don’t we wish!) or we’re too impatient and take over by becoming that contractor or doctor who botches things up and causes more problems due to our own services rendered.

You see, He has to tap into the artery to pull out the hurt to enable the healing process to begin while occupying the spaces with new life and vitality that once were broken and filled with disease (pain)!  This was major heart surgery that could only be accomplished by the Great Physician with a drill bit six feet in length (well, I’m 5’10”, close enough ). 

We can’t give up on God and His timing, He slowly and magnificently brings healing during the transformation process, but only when we become fully surrendered and ready to receive.  How easy it is to sit back and bask in His amazing love and omnipresence, but never grasp how wide and deep His love truly is (Ephesians 3:17-19).  His love surpasses all knowledge and wisdom.

Being depleted of the Father’s love creates deep wounds that oftentimes develops into depression, addictions, isolation and, sadly, suicidal tendencies.  I became depressed as a teenager and my depression became severe enough that I attempted to take my own life by driving myself off of a cliff over 37 years ago, all due to the fact that I wanted to be loved and feel loved. You can read about that suicide attempt here.

I know you’re scared and how you want to be loved.  I also know how easy it is to numb that pain through drugs, alcohol, food, work and even isolation.  It hurts!  God wants in, He’s tugging on your heart right now saying, “Let me in, Beautiful Beloved.  Let’s waltz together!  I love you just the way you are.  You don’t need to do a thing except receive my love by believing.  My love is patient, my love is kind, my love does not easily anger and it keeps no record of your mistakes or perceived failures (1 Corinthians 13).  Get to know me!  Receive it; it is free!  I love you, child of mine!”  That’s the definition of a Good, Good Father!

Let’s embrace this Great Love of our Heavenly Father.  We’re not only safe and secure snuggled up next to our daddy, but we know He loves us just the way we are and there’s nothing we can do to change or lose that Love.  That comfort and reassurance should give us the confidence knowing we don’t have to conform to others’ leading, we don’t have to look a certain way, we’re allowed to voice our feelings and thoughts, and we are loved just the way we are!!!  Now, that’s love worth pursuing and it’s unconditional!

What are you waiting for; He is waiting for you with open arms and a six-foot-long drill bit!

Let’s allow these simple words, “Thank you for being such a great father,” to be on our lips and in our hearts as we pour out our praises and tap into His Great Love by letting Him take the lead in our dance as we waltz together!

Until next time…

Happy Father’s Day, Papa God; and to every Father!

 

 

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Thank You Sutter Roseville Hospital For Hiring Radiating Nurses

Blameless Nurses and Doctors

Thank You Sutter Roseville Hospital For Hiring Radiating Nurses

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Hi Beautiful!  I pray you’re having a blessed week so far filled with all the love and strength you need to sojourn gracefully while waltzing this side of heaven.  It’s that time again; it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays!

This past week required tapping into my own reserve tank for resources that can only be found in the depth of my soul.  No sooner than I clicked “publish” on last week’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays challenge, I found myself in the hospital requiring emergency services that no one is ever prepared to deal with.

When one resents provisional occupancy at any hospital, had it not been for the expertise and call of Dr. Attarwala, along with my beautiful emergency room physician, Dr. Anna Nguyen, and my remarkably hard-working, never-stopping R.N., Mr. Noah himself, who even tolerated my Noah’s Flood, I would not have graciously accepted reality that wheeled me up to my new home on the cardiology floor.

Who would have known my new home would be equipped with even more amazing RNs, like Ethan and Renee, who kept me comfortable and medicated; their beautiful assistants, like Kanesha and Rita; the many LVNs; the heartwarming dietary clinician who served me special plates of veggies that induced me to finally start eating after four days; and the many housecleaning beloveds who catered to my constant upkeep.

My joy would have been robbed had it not been for all y’all.  I went through these deep waters victoriously because you helped me stay afloat and not drown during this raging river of difficulty.  Please take to heart, you are God’s hands and feet.  I noticed how exhausted you were with the relentless alarm of the monitors; how you gave up your break because you didn’t want to leNurse's Prayerave my care; the chaotic crisis that left you unable to empty your bladder; the unpredictable state of my vitals that left you bewildered and feeling inadequate; the grace exhibited when having to share bad news which was reciprocated with anger and piercing vocals; the sound of your growling stomach while others complained how time-consuming it was when you had to gown up and off each time you entered my room.

There I was laying on my gurney in complete silence, afraid of each breath as I faced the fear of the unknown.  As I contended with the physical pain, you sat down next to me reassuring me with words of comfort and warmth as you held my cold hand saying, “I’m so sorry.”  Your compassion and your love ushered me into the presence of my Lord as I met face to face with my faith.  This stilled the tears and replaced it with joy.  It also replaced my fears with peace and strength, and it turned the physical pain into laughter.

Caring for one is called love; but caring for hundreds, that’s nursing!

Tonight I took the opportunity with an exhausted mind to embrace being still as I inhaled every bit of the picturesque view of heaven that was being painted and awaiting my arrival.  My heart and soul rejoiced as I witnessed a soothing and vibrant sunset.  This just reaffirmed that there is beauty and solace right before our very eyes during the dark times, but it requires trust and courage to open up and peek through the lens of Love Himself while allowing God to display His majestic glory.

Sadly, registered nurses hear more grumblings and complaints than hearing words of praise and appreciation from less-than-wonderful patients, situations, and demanding job duties.  Yet, they still find the grace to showcase genuine concern for patients and their family members. 

This led me to want to dedicate this week’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays to all the amazing RNs, Radiating Nurses, who give so much more than dedication and expertise to take care of their patients.

Thank you for radiating light in darkness which helps patients hang onto all hope!  When we’re in the hospital, we’re completely exposed with nowhere to run and hide and that becomes frightening.  And when the lenses of our journeys look bleak, we oftentimes take for granted the beauty that God orchestrates to sprinkle the love and pour hope into our situations that we need to bravely navigate through all the debris!

R.N.s Equal Radiating Nurses

Radiating Nurses not only care for their patients, but they share the gift of comfort and grieve right alongside of us.  They offer hope when they question treatment and interject Blameless Nurses Prayeroftentimes by being our advocates.  They bring peace during the chaos, and they extend a healing touch just when it is needed.  They are gifts and the vessels God utilizes as conduits in being His hands and feet; so let’s tell them thank you for their service.

Weekly challenge:  Let’s thank all the Radiating Nurses we cross paths with by either writing out words of gratitude and encouragement through letters or cards (better yet, tell their shift supervisor), offer tokens of love by handing them flowers and sharing how they brightened up our day, offer them prayers and praise, gift card, hugs, or even Sutter’s highest reward, nominate them for a Sutter Star for their service and performance.  Simple and random acts of kindness and appreciation go a long way!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

Beautiful You

Where Is The Love? Cardboard Stories! Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Blameless Homeless Cardboard Stories

Where Is The Love? 

Cardboard Stories!

Tammy Tangent Tuesdays

Hi Beautiful!  I pray you were able to sense the unique stories that every Cardboard Story related.  Even as I write this, my heart is so heavily burdened.  This sense of loss is clouding over how I generally start these Tammy Tangent Tuesdays.  Tears just pour down my face hearing the testimonies of each individual beloved.  Homelessness is real and more predominant than most people even dare to understand.

I have walked the trails personally and frequently.  I have ministered to these tender hearts.  I have clothed, broken bread with (eaten together while listening), even given temporary shelter and employment to some of the homeless.  It’s heartbreaking.  I can even identify with most of these precious loved ones and their stories.

I may not speak four languages, nor have I built robots, or received a scholarship to play baseball; but I have lost it all and started over.  I have a son who courageously battles life with epilepsy.  I was a single mom working two jobs not knowing if it was going to be enough to keep a roof over our heads, and my sons and I escaped a violent environment. 

I understand their pain and their sense of loss and desperation.  And let me share, without embracing the hands and feet of God, I probably would have ended up like the many beloveds who are finding themselves homeless and without hope.

Where’s the Love?  If God created His Beautiful Beloveds to glorify Him, how does one look at society with all the tragedy and loss surrounding so many beloveds and see love and grace being extended?

You know, I don’t know.  It breaks my heart.  I’ve suffered greatly myself, but I also have encountered the hands of God reaching down to help me back up.  He’s a gracious God, slow to anger not wanting anyone to perish, and that’s where we get to be His vessels by being the hands and feet of God to those who are in need.  What an honor!

A picture speaks a thousand words.  Nothing needs to be said further.  There’s a lot of homeless beloveds in our communities today, working and not working.  When I shared last week that I was hearing and witnessing a lot of beat-up beloveds who needed a lot of Love, His Great Love, to be poured into and have their souls nourished with support and encouragement, I was not talking about these beloveds whose stories are written on cardboard boxes.

Since being the hands and feet of God can and should be relatively easy, especially with the many gifts the Lord has blessed each of us with, why are we allowing this epidemic of homeless beloveds to continue?  It’s not going to go away; it’s common life now.  We all can make a difference.  As Mother Teresa said, “If you cannot feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” 

Blameless Homeless Plate For One 2.2

For those of you that missed my last homeless couple updates, Tammy and Dave are now in their respective three-month programs with CARE.  They did get split up, but it’s a small sacrifice to pay to get back on their feet.  They taught me a lot about how limited resources are for those without under-age children.  We need more resources to bridge the gap between church and state.

Tammy and Dave are one of a few homeless couples that I have fallen in love with, ate meals together, loved on, temporarily employed and put in a hotel while ministering to them as best as I could.  One person can make a huge difference.  One life at a time!

 Blameless Homeless TD

Weekly Challenge:  I know most of us can’t afford to feed a hundred people, but this weekly challenge is to buy a prepared meal or two, a bagged lunch with extra milk (milk is a great source of protein and calcium that they desperately need), and hand it to a homeless person with a little tag or handwritten note just saying, “You are not forgotten.  I will pray for your protection.  There is hope!”  It is such a small token, but one that is greatly needed.

Please take a few minutes and look them in the eyes and smile.  They are not to be feared, but loved on.  They are just so full of shame, that is why they struggle with making eye contact and look down.  I’m sure you can appreciate that.

I pray the Lord will open your eyes to the many beloveds who are homeless and in need; and that you become blessed as you minister to the less fortunate being God’s hands and feet to those who need to be touched by His Great Love! 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!