Tammy Ingram

Transforming Pain Into Purpose

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  • When Duty & Motherhood Collide

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    When Duty & Motherhood Collide

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    “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

    —Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

    Opening Reflection

    There is a unique weight carried by women in law enforcement.

    You walk into places most people spend their lives trying to avoid. You see violence, addiction, abuse, broken families, and the darkest corners of human suffering. You learn to make life-altering decisions in seconds while carrying the responsibility of protecting people who may never understand the cost of your service.

    And then, after the uniform comes off, many of you go home and become mothers.

    You help with homework after witnessing tragedy. You kiss your children goodnight after spending an entire shift protecting someone else’s. You carry the burden of wondering if the job has changed you while praying that it never hardens your heart. You know what it means to miss birthdays, holidays, school events, and precious moments because duty called.

    The truth is that this calling is not glamorous. It is exhausting. It is often lonely. It requires strength that few people ever have to develop.

    Yet Scripture never promises an easy road for those who answer a call to serve. God told Joshua to be courageous, not because the battle would be small, but because His presence would be greater than every battle ahead.

    Women in law enforcement are fighting on multiple fronts. You battle evil in the streets, expectations in the workplace, and guilt in your own heart. You carry a badge while carrying children. You protect communities while trying to protect your own families from the collateral damage that trauma can bring home.

    The enemy would love for you to believe that no one sees your sacrifices.

    But God sees every midnight shift, every silent prayer in a patrol car, every tear shed after a difficult call, every moment you chose service when it cost you comfort. He sees the mother who worries, the officer who perseveres, and the woman who refuses to surrender her faith in a world that often feels overwhelming.

    To the women who wear the badge: your strength is not measured by how much pain you can suppress but by your willingness to keep bringing your burdens to the feet of Christ.

    And to the Church: These women need more than our applause. They need our prayers, our support, our understanding, and our willingness to stand beside them in the battles they cannot speak about publicly.

    Reflective Questions

    1. What burdens have I been carrying alone that God is inviting me to place in His hands today?
    2. How can I intentionally guard my heart so that the darkness I encounter does not extinguish the compassion God has placed within me?

    Prayer

    Heavenly Father,

    Strengthen every woman who serves in law enforcement. Be her refuge when the weight of duty becomes heavy and her peace when the memories of difficult days refuse to leave. Protect her mind, her heart, her marriage, her children, and her home.

    Remind her that she was Your daughter before she ever wore a badge and that her identity is rooted in You, not in her performance, her toughness, or her ability to carry impossible burdens alone.

    Give her courage for every battle, wisdom for every decision, and grace for every moment she feels torn between serving her community and loving her family. Raise up people who will pray for her, support her, and walk beside her.

    May she never forget that even in the darkest places, she does not walk alone, for You are with her wherever she goes.

    In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    ❤️ Where hearts gather daily: lovedshack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals

  • Shield Sisters: The Battles No One Sees

    Shield Sisters

    Shield Sisters: The Battles No One Sees

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    “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 

    —Exodus 14:14

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    Opening Reflection

    Some battles leave bruises.

    Others leave exhaustion.

    As women in law enforcement, you know the difference.

    Every day you put on a uniform and prepare for the battles everyone expects us to fight: the calls, the confrontations, the emergencies, the crises. Those battles come with reports, radio traffic, and witnesses.

    But there are other battles.

    The battles nobody sees.

    The battle of carrying what you witnessed on your last shift.

    The battle of being strong for everyone else while your own heart feels weary.

    The battle of wondering if you’re giving enough to your family, your career, your marriage, your children, your faith.

    The battle of showing compassion in a profession that can harden even the softest heart.

    The battle of feeling like you have to prove yourself one more time.

    And if we’re honest, sometimes the hardest battle isn’t on the street.

    It’s in our spirit.

    It’s the quiet fight against discouragement.

    Against cynicism.

    Against losing sight of the reason you answered the call to serve in the first place.

    That’s why Exodus 14:14 speaks so powerfully. God didn’t tell His people they would never face a battle. He told them they wouldn’t fight alone.

    Sister, whatever battle you’re carrying into this Monday, God sees it.

    The one you’ve talked about.

    The one you haven’t.

    The one nobody else even knows exists.

    He sees it all.

    And before you answer a single call this week, He is already there.

    Reflection Questions

    1. What battle am I carrying today that I’ve been trying to fight in my own strength instead of surrendering to God?
    2. How can I protect my heart this week from becoming hardened by what I see, while still remaining strong enough to serve those who need me?

    Closing Prayer

    Heavenly Father,
    Thank You for walking beside us through every battle we face. As we begin this week, give us strength when we’re weary, wisdom in every decision, and compassion for those we serve.

    Protect our hearts from becoming hardened and remind us that we never fight alone. Help us trust You with the burdens we carry and rest in Your presence.

    In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Until next time…

    Keep being Beautiful You!

    ❤️ Where hearts meet daily: lovedshack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals/

  • He Didn’t Ask For Much

    He Didn’t Ask For Much

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    “Children’s children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their fathers.” 

    —Proverbs 17:6

    💔 He Didn’t Ask For Much

    He did not ask for much. By that point, most things had already been taken. Strength had gone quietly, one piece at a time. Words had started to slip. Certainty had thinned out into confusion.

    But in that moment, something in him was still clear. He reached for you. Not with force. Not with urgency. Just enough to be felt. A hand that had once been steady, now asking instead of holding.

    And he asked you to pray. Not as a performance. Not because it sounded right. But because somewhere inside him, beyond what was fading, he still knew where to turn. And he chose you to stand there with him.

    You leaned in close, because everything about him required that now. The distance between you had to shrink for anything to be heard, anything to be understood. His face carried the weight of it. Not just the illness. Not just the weakness. But the quiet awareness that he was no longer who he had been. And still, he reached.

    There is a kind of love that holds people up. And then there is this kind. The kind that kneels down into the moment. That meets someone where they are, even when where they are is hard to recognize. That stays, not because it is strong, but because it refuses to leave.

    You took his hand. The same hand that had once led, corrected, protected. Now lighter. Now slower. Still his. And you prayed. Not perfectly. Not with polished words or certainty. You prayed with everything you had left in you. With the ache. With the confusion. With the love that had nowhere else to go.

    You prayed because he asked. You prayed because he trusted you. You prayed because even in that moment, something sacred was still happening between you. And maybe that is what remains when so much else is gone. Not memory. Not strength. Not even clarity. But the quiet knowing that you do not face it alone. He reached. You answered. And in that small, fragile exchange, nothing was fixed. But something was held.

    You prayed because he asked. You prayed because he trusted you. You prayed because even in that moment, something sacred was still happening between you.

    And somewhere in the quiet of it, through the weight of everything you were holding, you gave him what he needed to hear… “Daddy, you’ve been a good, good father… and I love you.”

    ❤️ For all the fathers, may you be blessed and honored with a Happy Father’s Day!

  • Still Their Mama – The Grief with No Funeral

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    Still Their Mama - The Grief with No Funeral
    Still Their Mama – The Grief with No Funeral

    “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

    -Psalm 34:18 ESV

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    There are some losses the world knows how to mourn.

    When someone dies, people bring flowers.

    They send cards.

    They sit beside you and speak their name.

    Your grief is acknowledged.

    But what happens when the person you lost is still alive?

    What happens when your child is still breathing, still laughing, still building a life . . .

    And you are no longer part of it?

    Who mourns that loss?

    Who acknowledges the empty chair?

    Who sees the mother scrolling past photographs she wasn’t included in?

    The grandmother who wonders if the grandchildren know her name?

    The woman who passes through another holiday carrying a smile on her face and a wound in her heart?

    This is the grief few people understand.

    Because there was no funeral.

    No graveside service.

    No moment when the world stopped and said, “This matters.”

    And so many estranged mothers suffer in silence, carrying a sorrow they feel they must explain before they’re allowed to feel.

    But grief does not require permission.

    And this grief is real.

    You are not grieving because you stopped loving your child.

    You are grieving because you never did.

    You are grieving birthdays missed.

    Conversations that never happened.

    Memories that are being made without you.

    You are grieving the loss of what should have been.

    And that kind of grief can feel endless.

    Some days it arrives without warning.

    A song.

    A photograph.

    A holiday commercial.

    A mother’s voice calling to her grown child in a grocery store.

    And suddenly you’re carrying the weight all over again.

    If that’s where you find yourself today, hear this:

    God is not asking you to minimize your pain.

    He is not asking you to pretend you’re fine.

    He is not disappointed by your tears.

    The same God who collected David’s tears in a bottle and sees every tear you’ve cried over this relationship (Psalm 56:8 KJV).

    Every unanswered prayer.

    Every sleepless night.

    Every moment you’ve wondered if reconciliation will ever come.

    And while others may not understand this grief, He does.

    Because God Himself knows what it is to love children who pull away.

    He knows what it is to reach out and not be received.

    He knows the ache of love that continues even when the relationship is broken.

    So if your heart is hurting today, let it hurt.

    Bring your sorrow into His presence.

    You do not have to defend it.

    You do not have to justify it.

    You do not have to carry it alone.

    Because while the relationship may be fractured, God’s love for both of you remains unbroken.

    And even here . . .

    In this place of unanswered questions and empty spaces . . .

    You are still their mama.

    And God is still God.

    Prayer

    Lord,

    This grief has no funeral.

    No ending.

    No clear path forward.

    There are days when I don’t know what to do with the ache.

    I miss what was.

    I miss what could have been.

    I miss the relationship I still pray for.

    Hold my heart when it feels too heavy to carry.

    Remind me that You see what others cannot.

    Help me trust You with the chapters I cannot write and the wounds I cannot heal.

    And when hope feels far away, remind me that neither my child nor I have ever been beyond Your reach.

    Amen.

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    Before anything else, let this truth settle over you: This loss is real, and your heartbreak makes sense. I know, I’m walking that path, too.

    When Grief Has No Name

    Ambiguous grief is one of the most misunderstood forms of suffering because there is no clear ending. No closure. No shared cultural ritual. No moment where the world acknowledges the loss and says, “Your sorrow belongs here.”

    To continue reading this devotional, hop on over to where hearts meet daily at click here . . .

    Until next time . . .

    You Are Still Their Mama
    You Are Still Their Mama

  • Coffee, Cruisers & Courage

    Coffee, Cruisers & Courage

    “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

    —Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV

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    At first glance, this looks like a simple moment.

    Two officers.
    Two cups of coffee.
    A patrol vehicle in the background.
    A conversation between friends.

    But anyone who has worn a badge knows moments like these are rarely just about coffee.

    Behind every smile is a story.

    A difficult call no one else saw.

    A child who couldn’t be saved.

    A family shattered by violence.

    A shift that ran long.

    A prayer whispered in the dark before putting on the vest.

    The world sees the uniform. God sees the woman wearing it.

    And sometimes the greatest gift He provides isn’t a promotion, a commendation, or even a quiet shift.

    Sometimes His gift is a sister who understands.

    Someone who doesn’t need a long explanation.

    Someone who knows why you’re tired before you say a word.

    Someone who understands the weight of responsibility, the burden of vigilance, and the emotional cost of serving a community that often sees the badge but not the heart behind it.

    There is something beautiful about this image. Neither woman is looking at the camera. Neither appears concerned about appearances. They’re simply present with one another.

    In a profession that demands strength, courage, and constant awareness, God never intended for His daughters to carry everything alone. Even Jesus surrounded Himself with trusted companions. He walked with them. Prayed with them. Shared burdens with them. Not because He was weak. Because community was part of God’s design from the beginning.

    Too often, those in law enforcement become experts at protecting everyone except themselves. They answer calls for help while silently carrying their own struggles. They check on others while neglecting their own hearts. They remain strong for everyone around them while wondering who will be strong for them.

    That is why sisterhood matters. Not because life is falling apart. Because life is better when we don’t face it alone. God often ministers through the people He places beside us. A listening ear. A shared laugh. A knowing glance. A prayer spoken at exactly the right moment. These seemingly small things become reminders that we are seen, known, and supported.

    As you look at this image, don’t just see two officers. See evidence of God’s provision. See friendship. See understanding. See a reminder that even warriors need fellowship.

    The badge may be part of your calling, but it was never meant to become your identity. Your identity is found in Christ. You are His daughter before you are an officer. His beloved before you are a protector. His workmanship before you are a first responder. And sometimes His care arrives in the form of another woman sitting across from you, holding a cup of coffee and saying without words: “I get it. And you’re not carrying this alone.”

    “I get it. And you’re not carrying this alone.”

    Prayer

    Lord, thank You for the sisters You place in our lives. Thank You for the friendships that strengthen us, encourage us, and remind us that we are never alone. Help us to carry one another’s burdens, pray for one another faithfully, and point one another back to You. When the weight of service feels heavy, remind us that our strength comes from Christ and that You often show Your love through the people sitting beside us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Until next time…

    Keep being Beautiful You!

    ❤️ Where hearts gather daily, pull up a chair at lovedshack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals

  • Don’t Get Mad When I Pull a YOU on You!

    Don’t Get Mad When I Pull a YOU On You

    Don’t Get Mad When I Pull a You on You!

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    “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”

    — Galatians 6:7

    There’s a hard truth many people don’t want to hear: sometimes the very thing that hurts us is the same thing we’ve been doing to others.

    We pray, “Lord, why did they ignore me?” while God gently reminds us of the messages we never answered.

    We ask, “Why did they walk away from me?” while heaven points to the relationships we abandoned when they became inconvenient.

    We cry, “Why wasn’t I shown grace?” while remembering the grace we withheld from someone who desperately needed it.

    It’s almost as if God says, “Don’t get mad when I pull a you on you.”

    Not because He is cruel. Not because He enjoys seeing us suffer. But because exposure is often the doorway to transformation.

    Jesus never built His ministry on merely making people feel comfortable. He revealed hearts. He exposed motives. He held up a mirror. When Peter boasted of loyalty, Jesus showed him his weakness. When the rich young ruler claimed obedience, Jesus exposed his idol. When religious leaders displayed outward holiness, Jesus uncovered inward pride.

    The foundation of every spiritual breakthrough is honesty.

    The problem is that we usually want mercy for ourselves and justice for everyone else. We want understanding when we fail, but accountability when others fail us. Yet Jesus continually teaches a different kingdom principle: the measure you use will be measured back to you (Luke 6:38).

    That should stop every believer in their tracks.

    Before complaining about what someone did to you, ask yourself: Have I ever done this to someone else?

    Before demanding forgiveness, ask: Am I giving forgiveness?

    Before expecting loyalty, ask: Am I loyal?

    Before wanting kindness, ask: Am I kind?

    God has a way of allowing us to experience what we’ve created so we can finally understand what we’ve ignored.

    But here’s the beautiful part of the gospel.

    Jesus is not merely the mirror that reveals our flaws. He is the foundation that restores what is broken.

    When conviction hits, don’t run from it. Run to Christ.

    When God exposes an area of hypocrisy, don’t defend it. Surrender it.

    When He shows you that you’ve become the source of the very pain you’re complaining about, don’t become offended. Become teachable.

    The cross is proof that God’s goal is never condemnation. His goal is redemption.

    The enemy exposes your sin to shame you. Jesus exposes your sin to heal you.

    So if life has handed you a painful lesson lately, instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” consider asking, “Lord, what are You trying to show me about me?”

    That question can change everything.

    Because spiritual maturity begins the moment we stop pointing fingers outward and allow Jesus to examine our hearts inward.

    And sometimes the greatest act of God’s mercy is allowing us to feel what others felt from us, so we can become more like Him.

    Prayer

    Lord Jesus, You are my foundation. Search my heart and reveal anything in me that doesn’t reflect You. Give me the humility to receive correction, the courage to change, and the grace to extend to others what I desire for myself. When You hold up the mirror, help me respond with repentance instead of resistance. Build my life on Your truth so that my character reflects Your love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Until next time…

    ❤️ For more authentic content, pull up a chair at Lovedshack.com/blog-tammy-tangent/dont-get-mad-when-i-pull-a-you-on-you

  • Shield Sisters Building Bridges of Trust and Understanding!

    Building Bridges of Trust

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    “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

    — Matthew 5:16, ESV

    A basketball court became more than a place to play; it became a place where relationships were built, trust was strengthened, and community came together.

    What happened on that court was about far more than a game. It was about connection. In a world where barriers can sometimes exist between law enforcement and the communities they serve, moments like these help build bridges of understanding and trust.

    When officers take time to engage with children and families in positive, meaningful ways, they demonstrate that service is not only about responding to problems; it is also about investing in people.

    Those simple interactions can leave lasting impressions, creating relationships that strengthen the fabric of a community.

    Jesus understood the importance of meeting people where they were. In Matthew 5:16, He said, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

    The women of the Shield Sisters were shining that light through their presence, encouragement, and willingness to engage. By stepping onto a basketball court and sharing in the joy of the children around them, they modeled a spirit of care that reflects the heart of Christ.

    Trust is not built overnight. It grows through consistent acts of kindness, respect, and genuine engagement. When communities and those who serve them come together in moments like these, the result is stronger relationships, greater understanding, and a foundation of hope for the next generation.

    For more of Loved Shack’s Shield Sisters devotional, where hearts meet daily at lovedshack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals

    Until next time…

    Keep being Beautiful You!

  • Memorial Day Tribute – Remembering the Fallen

    Memorial Day

    “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

    John 15:13, ESV

    🇺🇸💔🇺🇸

    Today, we pause to remember and honor the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Their courage, service, and dedication will never be forgotten.

    But honor requires more than just a moment of silence; it requires a deep look at what their final breaths actually bought for us.

    Every ordinary moment we easily take for granted: the safety of our neighborhoods, the simple peace of a quiet evening with our families, the right to speak our minds, and the very air of freedom we breathe, was paid for in full by someone who never got to come home.

    They traded all of their tomorrows, their dreams, and their own family milestones so that we could safely live out ours. They laid down their lives so that a mother could stand safely with her children today, wrapped in the protection of a flag they died to defend.

    Their absence is a heavy, quiet shadow, but their legacy is the very life we get to live.

    May we never treat their sacrifice as a casual holiday. Today, we remember. We look back with immense gratitude. And we promise to live lives worthy of the incredible freedom they gave us.

    🇺🇸 God bless America!

    #MemorialDay #RememberAndHonor #TheUltimateSacrifice #FreedomIsntFree #NeverForgotten #HonorTheirLegacy

  • Healing Does Not Remove Discernment; It Just Removes Desperation

    Healing Does Not Remove Discernment. It Just Removes Desperation.

    Healing Does Not Remove Discernment. It Just Removes Desperation.

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    Healing does not remove discernment. It simply removes the desperation that once made us ignore it.

    Through healing, God teaches us to slow down, listen closely, and trust the quiet wisdom He placed within us.

    Discernment is not fear, bitterness, or walls built from pain — it is peace, clarity, and spiritual maturity.

    When a woman truly begins to heal, she no longer begs for love, chases validation, or settles for less than what God says she deserves.

    She understands that her identity was never meant to be found in people, but in Christ alone.

    As daughters of God, we are already chosen, already worthy, already deeply loved.

    Healing reminds us that what is meant for us will never require us to abandon ourselves to receive it.

    ❤️ lovedshack.com/blog-tammy-tangent/healing-does-not-remove-discernment

  • She Carries the Weight of Two Worlds

    She Carries the Weight of Two Worlds
    She Carries the Weight of Two Worlds

    She Carries the Weight of Two Worlds

    A Devotional for Women in Law Enforcement

    Shield Sisters  |  Badges, Battles & the Women Who Bear Both

    He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will sore on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29–31 (NIV)

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    OPENING REFLECTION

    You put on your uniform before most of the world wakes up. You kiss your family goodbye with a heart that prays they never know the weight you carry out that door. You walk into rooms that others run from. You hold the line between chaos and safety, between darkness and the people who need protecting. You do it all with steadiness, professionalism, and more courage than most will ever comprehend.

    But here is what the citation boards and the commendation plaques rarely capture: you are also a woman. A woman who feels deeply, grieves fully, laughs loudly when she gets the chance, and loves fiercely on both sides of that badge. You carry two worlds in one body, and that is not a burden. That is a divine design.

    God did not make a mistake when He placed fire and tenderness inside the same heart. He did not miscalculate when He fashioned a woman strong enough to walk into the valley of shadows and gentle enough to sit with a broken stranger in the dark. That combination is not a contradiction. It is a calling.

    Sister, you are seen. Not just by the camera on your chest, not just by the sergeant who reviews your reports, but by the God of every exhausted midnight shift, every tear you swallowed behind your cruiser door, every moment you went back in when every human part of you wanted to walk away. He saw it. He honored it. And He has not forgotten a single one.

    This is your reminder today. You are not just surviving the badge. You are bearing it with holy purpose.

    SCRIPTURES FOR REFLECTION

    “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)

    “God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5 (NIV)

    “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

    REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

    1.  In what area of your service do you most need to receive the truth that God sees and honors what you carry? What would it mean to truly believe that today?

    2.  How have you experienced God’s strength meeting your weakness in the line of duty? Can you identify a specific moment when you walked through fire and were not consumed?

    3.  What does it mean to you personally that God clothed you with both strength and dignity? How can you honor that design in the way you care for yourself this week? 

    CLOSING PRAYER

    Father, we come before You on behalf of every woman who has ever put on this badge and wondered if You saw her.

    You see her, Lord. Every shift. Every sacrifice. Every moment she chose duty when every nerve in her body was screaming.

    We ask You to renew her strength today. Not just the kind that powers through paperwork and physical demands, but the deep, marrow-level strength that only You can give. The kind that says I will not be defined by what broke me. I will be defined by who carries me.

    Cover her when she walks into the unknown. Go before her when the call comes that no one wants to answer. Stand behind her when the paperwork and the politics and the weight of it all threaten to wear her down to dust.

    Remind her today that she does not carry two worlds alone. She carries them in You.

    And Lord, let her know she is honored. Truly honored. Not just by the people who benefit from her courage, but by the God who designed her for it.

    In the name of Jesus, the One who walked into the darkest places and came out with resurrection in His hands, Amen.

    Until next time…

    Keep Being Beautiful You!

    ❤️ Where hearts meet daily, visit us at lovedshack.com/communities or lovedshack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals for devotionals to encourage your day.

  • Tongues of Deadly Arrows

    Tongues of Deadly Arrows

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    Gossip, Slander, and the Destruction of Words

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    “Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully. With their mouths they all speak cordially to their neighbors, but in their hearts they set traps for them.”

    —Jeremiah 9:8, NIV

    ⚔️🔥⚔️

    There are wounds that bleed openly, and then there are wounds inflicted by the tongue; hidden injuries that quietly destroy trust, relationships, reputations, peace, and even entire communities. Scripture does not minimize the power of gossip because God understands what words can do when they are fueled by pride, jealousy, insecurity, bitterness, or rebellion.

    Jeremiah painted the picture with terrifying clarity:

    “Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully. With their mouths they all speak cordially to their neighbors, but in their hearts they set traps for them.”

    A deadly arrow.

    Not an accident.
    Not “just venting.”
    Not harmless conversation.

    An intentional weapon.

    Jeremiah describes people who smile outwardly while secretly aiming destruction inwardly. Their words travel ahead of them like arrows dipped in poison: slander, exaggeration, half-truths, insinuations, manipulation, whispered accusations, spiritual superiority, and gossip disguised as concern.

    And if we are honest, Christian communities are not exempt from this sin. Oftentimes, they are the breeding grounds for it.

    Women especially can fall into relational forms of warfare that appear socially acceptable:

    • private conversations disguised as prayer requests,
    • sharing “concerns” that damage someone’s character,
    • passive-aggressive comments,
    • emotional manipulation,
    • triangulation,
    • subtle exclusion,
    • repeating information that was never ours to carry.

    God takes this seriously because gossip does not merely hurt people; it reveals the condition of the heart.

    That is why Proverbs 6:16-19 says:

    “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him… a lying tongue… a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

    Notice something sobering:
    God places divisive speech among the things He hates.

    Why?

    Because words can burn down what took years to build.
    One whisper can fracture friendships.
    One lie can destroy trust.
    One slanderous conversation can isolate someone already struggling silently.

    The tongue often reveals what the heart refuses to surrender.

    Some people gossip because they crave significance.
    Some because they are wounded.
    Some because comparison has turned into envy.
    Some because tearing others down temporarily makes them feel elevated.
    Others gossip because they enjoy feeling “in the know.”

    But Scripture says this behavior is not small. It is spiritually corrosive.

    The frightening part about gossip is how easily it disguises itself as righteousness. It rarely announces itself honestly. Instead, it cloaks itself in concern, discernment, wisdom, humor, or spirituality.

    Yet God sees beyond the tone of our voice and examines the motive beneath it.

    Jeremiah says:

    “They do not acknowledge Me.” —Jeremiah 9:3

    That means destructive speech is ultimately a worship issue. A heart surrendered to God cannot continually weaponize words without conviction.

    And perhaps the deepest tragedy is this: many people wounded by gossip never fully recover from it. Some leave churches. Some distrust friendships. Some carry shame for years because someone else chose careless words over Christlike love.

    This devotional is not merely a warning for “other women.” It is an invitation for all of us to examine ourselves honestly.

    Have my words healed or harmed?
    Do I speak truth or feed suspicion?
    Do I protect people when they are absent?
    Would I say this if the person were standing here?
    Am I building peace or quietly stirring division?

    Respecting boundaries?

    Jesus said:

    “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” —Matthew 12:34

    If our words are constantly sharp, cynical, divisive, or destructive, the issue is deeper than communication. The issue is the heart.

    Questions for Reflection

    1. Have I participated in conversations that dishonored someone made in God’s image?
    2. Do I use words to connect, or to control, wound, or elevate myself?
    3. What kind of atmosphere follows my speech: peace or suspicion?

    Closing Prayer

    Lord, search my heart and expose every careless, prideful, deceitful, or destructive word within me. Teach me to speak with wisdom, restraint, truth, and compassion. Convict me when my tongue becomes a weapon instead of a source of life. Help me protect others with my words instead of harming them. Let my speech reflect Your character and bring peace rather than division. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Until next time…

    ❤️ Where hearts gather daily for devotionals that speak truth, not hypocrisy: lovedshack.com/blog-tammy-tangent/tongues-of-deadly-arrows

  • Held Close Even When You Feel Far Away

    💙⚔️💙

    Held Close Even When You Feel Far Away
    Held Close Even When You Feel Far Away

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    Held Close Even When You Feel Far Away

    🕊️💙🕊️


    “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 

    — 1 Peter 4:8

    This job teaches you how to survive.
    It does not automatically teach you how to stay emotionally connected.

    As a woman in law enforcement, you carry pressure most people will never fully understand. You’re expected to stay sharp, composed, emotionally disciplined, and mentally tough no matter what walks through the door. And after enough hard days, your nervous system starts living in survival mode even when the uniform comes off.

    So you get home physically present… but emotionally checked out.

    You answer questions with one-word responses.
    You avoid deep conversations because you’re already drained.
    You crave closeness but secretly want everyone to leave you alone at the same time.

    And the brutal truth is this: the people you love can feel that distance even when you don’t mean to create it.

    Not because you’re cold.
    Not because you don’t care.
    But because carrying everybody else’s emergencies all day leaves very little energy for vulnerability at night.

    Jesus understands exhausted hearts. He understands emotional overload. But He also knows something important: love cannot survive on assumptions alone.

    The people closest to you still need your softness.
    Your attention.
    Your honesty.
    Your effort.

    Not a polished version of you. Just a real one.

    Connection is usually rebuilt in small moments nobody posts online. A longer hug before walking away. Sitting together without distraction. Admitting you’ve been distant instead of pretending everything is normal.

    Deep love isn’t loud all the time. Sometimes it looks like choosing not to emotionally disappear when shutting down would feel easier.

    And that’s the challenge for you today. Not perfection. Presence.

    Because the people who love you are not asking you to carry the whole world flawlessly. They just want to know your heart is still reachable underneath the armor this career requires you to wear.

    Jesus can soften what this world has hardened.
    But you have to let Him into the places you keep guarded, too.

    Speak Life Prompt:
    Choose one intentional act of connection today. Not out of obligation, but out of love. Put effort where distance has quietly started growing.

    Prayer:
    “Jesus, help me stay tender in a career that constantly demands toughness. Teach me how to love deeply without withdrawing when I’m overwhelmed. Heal the distance stress and exhaustion have created in my relationships. Thank You for loving me consistently, even on the days I struggle to show up emotionally. Amen.”

    Until next time…

    💙

    For more on Shield Sisters, where hearts meet daily, visit us at lovedshack.com/communities or lovedshack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals/held-close-even-when-you-feel-far-away-22 for today’s devotionals to encourage your day.

  • Happy Mother’s Day

    Happy Mother’s Day

    Happy Mother’s Day! 🌹🕊️🌹

    💝🌹 Today we celebrate you: your love, your strength, your endless sacrifices, and the beautiful heart that holds our world together.

    💕💕💕

    Thank you for being our first home, our forever love, and our greatest blessing.

    We honor you. We love you always!

    🌹 Happy Mother’s Day 🌹

  • Seeds of Comfort

    Seeds of Comfort

    🕊️💔🕊️

    Seeds of Comfort

    🌹🕊️🌹

    🌹🕊️ The seeds of comfort do not always take root in easy ground. More often, they are pressed deep into the soil of adversity. They are buried under the weight of days you did not choose, watered by tears you did not see coming, and tended by a God who has not once stepped away.

    When your life begins to unravel, when it feels like every seam is splitting at once and you cannot gather the pieces fast enough to keep things from falling apart, do not run from the darkness. Run toward the One who is already there.

    Ask God to comfort you. Not later when things are quieter. Not when you can finally explain what hurts. Ask Him now.

    Ask Him in the middle of the wreckage.
    Ask Him in the silence after the door closes.
    Ask Him in the moment you stare at the ceiling and feel nothing but the weight of being awake inside it.

    Ask Him to meet you there.
    In the conversations you keep replaying.
    In the ache you carry in your chest.
    In the waiting that stretches longer than you thought you could endure.

    You may not escape adversity. Scripture does not offer that kind of promise. There is no guarantee of a life untouched by fire. But there is a promise of presence within it.

    That is not a small thing.

    Because sometimes the comfort of God does not arrive as relief. It does not announce itself. It does not change your circumstances by morning.

    Sometimes it looks like this.

    The strength to get out of bed when you did not want to.
    A verse that stays with you longer than you expected.
    A message from someone who does not fully understand, but chooses to show up anyway.
    A quiet sense, steady and easy to miss, that you are not as alone as you feel.

    It is not dramatic. It is not loud.
    But it is real.

    And if we are honest, that kind of comfort is easy to overlook. We look for something that lifts the weight, while God is often offering something that helps us carry it.

    So hold onto what is true, even when it feels thin in your hands. This is not the end of your story. This moment, however heavy, is not your final chapter. There is more beyond this, even if you cannot see it yet.

    But do not miss what has already been placed within reach.

    His Word is open, even when you struggle to focus long enough to read it.
    His presence is closer than your next breath, even when you cannot feel it.
    His people are imperfect, sometimes awkward, but willing to sit beside you in the dark.

    If only we would slow down long enough to notice.
    If only we would loosen our grip on control long enough to receive.

    The comfort is not being withheld.

    It is here.
    It has been here.
    And even now, in ways you might barely recognize, it is reaching for you.

    Until next time…

    ❤️ Where hearts gather a little longer — LovedShack.com/chaplains-corner-blog/seeds-of-comfort

  • 💙⚔️ The Anointed Watchman of the Tier

    The Anointed Watchman of the Tier | Loved Shack Shield Sisters Devotional
    The Anointed Watchman of the Tier

    SHIELD SISTERS

    Badges, Battles & the Women Who Bear Both

    The Anointed Watchman of the Tier

    What They Call Attitude, God Calls Anointing.

    “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the people… so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.”

    —Ezekiel 33:7, NIV

    Your Anointing

    The world looks at a woman in corrections and sees hardness. They notice the edge in her eyes and the set of her jaw and they call it attitude. They do not understand what they are looking at.

    You do.

    That edge was not manufactured. It was forged. Shift by shift, tier by tier, in an environment that demands everything and explains itself to no one. What looks like attitude from the outside is something God placed in you on purpose. It is a holy resilience. A divine grit designed to hold the line in a place most people could not survive for a single hour. This is not spite. This is not hardness of heart. This is your anointing. And God does not waste it.

    You are not just an employee. You are a sentinel. In the modern-day pressure of a correctional facility, you are the watchman Ezekiel describes. You see the danger before it strikes. You sense the shift in the atmosphere before a single hand is raised. While others may work the tier for a paycheck, you are there for something deeper. You are the salt that keeps the environment from rotting from the inside out.

    Your glory is not found in a memorial. It is found in the ten-hour shift, the de-escalated situation, and the quiet integrity that refuses to break under pressure.

    The Battlefield Behind the Doors

    Behind those steel doors, you endure a moment-by-moment psychological and physical battlefield. You face volatility where you are often outnumbered and constantly tested. And you cannot afford to fake it.

    “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.” —Romans 12:9 (MSG)

    In corrections, authenticity is your shield. When you refuse to let the bitterness of the environment harden your heart, you are choosing something rare and costly. Your humanity is not a liability in that space. It is your moral authority. The incarcerated watch everything. They know the difference between a woman who is present and a woman who is performing. Your integrity is what gives you influence that a badge alone never could.

    You are hard pressed on every side but not crushed. You lead by example in conditions that break people who entered with lesser foundations. You provide the kind of stability that makes genuine rehabilitation possible. That is not a small thing. That is a sacred thing.

    What They See When They See You

    To the world you are invisible. To the incarcerated you are the standard. You are the peacemaker who uses her voice to stop trouble before it starts. You are the witness who sees the humanity in the forgotten and reminds them of it by the way she carries herself. You are the shield who protects those in her care from each other and sometimes from themselves.

    Hebrews 13:3 says to remember those in prison as if you were together with them. You do not just remember them. You live among them for ten hours at a time. You carry the weight of that environment so the rest of society does not have to. That is noble, grueling, and deeply biblical work. And most of the world will never know your name for it.

    But your Father does.

    To the world: you have an attitude. To the incarcerated: you are the standard. To your Father in heaven: you are a warrior-servant, clothed in strength and dignity, standing as a beacon of order in a world of darkness.

    Scripture References

    “I have made you a watchman for the people… so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.” —Ezekiel 33:7

    “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” —2 Corinthians 4:8

    “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” —Proverbs 31:25-26

    “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” —2 Timothy 1:7

    Reflect

    1. Where have you seen your anointing misread as attitude by people who do not understand the environment you operate in? What does it cost you to carry that misunderstanding? 

    2.  Authenticity is your shield. Where on the tier have you seen the difference between a woman who leads from her real self and one who is just performing the role? What did that difference produce?

    3.  Your Father sees what the world does not. Where do you most need to be reminded that your twelve-hour faithfulness is not invisible to Him, even when it is invisible to everyone else?

    A Prayer for the Daughter of the Watch

    Father God,

    Thank You for this woman, Your daughter. This warrior-servant who stands in the gap in a place most people will never see. I ask for a hedge of protection around her mind as she leaves the gates. Wash away the tension of the tier. Replace the adrenaline with the peace that surpasses all understanding.

    When she feels the exhaustion of carrying the weight of that environment, remind her that she is precious in Your sight. Heal the hidden weariness that comes from being the strength for everyone else. Restore her joy. Sharpen her discernment for the next shift. And let her sleep be sweet, knowing she served with honor and that You saw every moment of it.

    In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Closing Blessing

    You are doing a work that many cannot do and most will not do.

    You are a light in the darkest corners. And that light is never wasted.

    Go in peace, Beloved Officer. Your rest is well earned. You are a warrior.

    You are a daughter of the King. You were born for this.

    Keep being Beautiful You!

    Where hearts gather for devotionals each day: The Anointed Watchman of the Tier — Loved Shack

  • 💙⚔️ THE UNSUNG WARRIORS OF THE WATCH

    The Unsung Warriors of the Watch
    The Unsung Warriors of the Watch

    ⚔️💙⚔️

    The Unsung Warriors of the Watch

    💙🕊️💙

    “Son of man, I have made you a watchman… so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.”

    —Ezekiel 33:7, NIV

    💙🕊️💙

    The Anointed Watchman of the Tier

    There is a woman who puts on a uniform every day and walks into a world most people will never see. She does not patrol the streets. She patrols the tiers. She manages volatility, de-escalates danger, and stands as the steady line between order and chaos inside the walls of a correctional facility. She does it with grit, with integrity, and with a quiet faithfulness that rarely makes the news.

    The world calls it a job. God calls it a calling. She is the watchman on the wall, the peacemaker in the pressure cooker, the woman who sees the humanity in the forgotten when everyone else has looked away. She carries the psychological weight of that environment home in her body every single night, and she shows up to carry it again the next morning. That kind of service is not just professional. It is profound.

    Today we honor the women in corrections. The ones who are unseen, undercelebrated, and absolutely essential. You are not invisible to God. Every twelve-hour shift, every de-escalated crisis, every moment of integrity under pressure is recorded by Him. You are a warrior. You are a daughter of the King. And you were born for this.

    Until next time..

    Keep being Beautiful You!

    ❤️ Where hearts gather for devotionals each day LovedShack.com/shield-sisters-devotionals/

    The Officer’s Blessing

    May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He be the glory and the lifter of your head when the shift is long.

    May His anointing be the armor that keeps your heart soft toward Him and like flint toward the enemy.

    May you walk in the authority of Christ and the safety of His wings.

    Go with God, Beloved Officer. You are seen, you are loved, and you are never alone!

    #WomenInCorrections #ThinSilverLine #AnointedToLead #BehindTheWalls #FaithAndFortitude #ShieldSisters #WomenInLeadership #LovedShack #Corrections

  • Your Integrity Is Not Just a Professional Requirement

    Your Integrity is Not Just a Professional Requirement
    Your Integrity is Not Just a Professional Requirement

    💙⚔️💙

    Your Integrity Is Not Just a Professional Requirement

    ⚔️💙⚔️

    For women in law enforcement, integrity is professional currency. It is also something more personal than that. It is the part of you that the job cannot take, even when the job takes everything else. It is the thing that remains after the shift ends and the gear comes off. It is the answer to the question of who you are when nobody is counting on you to be anything in particular.

    Phoebe’s integrity was not just a professional asset. It was a reflection of the image of God within her. Yours is too.

    Your integrity is not just a professional requirement, it is a reflection of the image of God within you. And that image does not require a badge to be real.

    You were entrusted with this mission because God already determined you were strong enough to carry it. But the strength He gave you was always meant to be carried within community, sustained by rest, and anchored in an identity that the job did not create and cannot take away.

    Phoebe’s legacy of integrity is just one of the 15 stories we explore in our Shield Sisters series; a confidential community specifically for women in law enforcement.

    Phoebe was a leader and a “protector” of many, much like you, and her story reminds us that our identity is anchored in something far deeper than the badge.

    This excerpt is a glimpse into the 15-session study designed to strengthen and sustain women on the front lines. For more information or to join our confidential community, visit LovedShack.com/communities or contact Chaplain Tammy personally at https://www.lovedshack.com/contact-tammy-ingram

    Until next time…

    Keep being Beautiful You!

  • Choosing to Fight the Right Battle Devotional

    Choosing to Fight the Right Battle
    Choosing to Fight the Right Battle

    💙⚔️💙

    Choosing to Fight the Right Battle

    💙⚔️💙

    “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers… against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

    —Ephesians 6:12

    Devotional:
    In law enforcement, conflict is expected. You face challenges head-on, make quick decisions, and often stand between danger and safety. That same readiness can follow you home, shaping how you react in moments of tension or stress.

    Jesus reminds you that not every battle is yours to fight. Not every moment requires defense. Not every disagreement is a threat.

    Sometimes the real battle is spiritual. Weariness. Fear. Miscommunication. Emotional walls built over time. These are the unseen forces that can strain your relationships and drain your peace.

    Beautiful, Jesus invites you to place those battles in His hands. He strengthens your spirit so you can respond with wisdom instead of reaction. He helps you see that the people you love are not opponents but partners. You can stand together, not against each other.

    Let Him help you choose which battles matter and which are better surrendered.

    Speak Life Prompt:
    Before responding to tension, pause and pray, “Jesus, guide my heart in this moment.”

    Prayer:
    “Lord, help me see clearly what is worth my energy. Calm my reactions and steady my spirit. Teach me to fight my battles with Your strength, not my own. Amen.”

    Closing Blessing:

    May the God who sees every unseen battle strengthen your heart and steady your steps. When the weight feels heavy and the struggle feels hidden, remind you that you do not stand alone; He goes before you and stands beside you.

    Clothe you in truth, guard you with righteousness, and anchor you in peace, so you may walk in authority over darkness, confident in the One who has already overcome.

    And when your strength feels low, may His power rise within you, renewing you again and again.

    Go in peace, in strength, and in unwavering purpose. Amen.

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

    To check out more Shield Sister devotionals, jump over to lovedshack.com or go right to this devotional by clicking here

  • When the Church Is Not Safe, and God Still Is

    When the Church Is Not Safe, and God Still Is
    When the Church Is Not Safe, and God Still Is

    🚨⚠️ This post discusses sexual assault, spiritual abuse, and institutional betrayal. If these topics are tender or activating for you, please take care of yourself as you read. You are free to pause, step away, or choose another space on this site. You matter.

    🧡⚔️🧡

    When the Church Is Not Safe, and God Still Is

    🧡🕊️🧡

    There are some stories we do not tell because we are in hiding. Others, because we are surviving. For a long time, mine lived in the second category.

    Many of you have asked why I moved churches after fourteen years. Why my voice changed. Why my ministry direction shifted. I have often answered vaguely, not because the truth isn’t important, but because there is a cost to telling it.

    This was not one wound. For nearly three years, I have been walking through cancer, surgeries, and treatment while also carrying the weight of a deep violation, the silence that followed, and the consequences that came with telling the truth. My body was fighting to survive. My heart was trying to make sense of betrayal. My spirit was learning how to endure more than I thought possible.

    Here is what I can say now, carefully and honestly.

    I was sexually assaulted in a church setting. Before that, the same church pressured me into silence so the congregation would not “panic“ at the awareness that registered sex offenders were roaming the halls. I was treated as a “conflict” to be managed instead of a person to be protected.

    A couple weeks after my double mastectomy and lymph node dissection, with surgical drains still in place, the church arranged transportation so I could keep my promise to the incarcerated women at CCWF. I had told them the ministry event would happen no matter what.

    I was not told that the man assigned to transport me and my Bibles was a registered sex offender. I was given only his name and told he was a respected Bible teacher.

    After a thirteen-hour day and a terrifying five-hour drive home, I asked for a chaplain-to-chaplain debriefing. I was made to wait thirty days, all while undergoing dose-dense chemotherapy. Instead of concern or compassion, I was treated like the villain, not the victim.

    Exposure is the secondary infection; while chemotherapy was meant to kill the cancer in my body, the church’s negligence introduced a toxicity to my soul that no medicine can treat.

    What I endured on that drive home was psychological trauma that will never leave me. The lack of transparency, the lack of care, and the lack of protection turned an already devastating season into layered trauma.

    One year later, while I was still in cancer treatment and still serving my church, the unconscionable happened. I was sexually assaulted by a weekly-attending member, right outside the prayer room door!

    To continue reading… please visit me over at Loved Shack and the link will guide you to “When the Church Is Not Safe, and God Still Is.”

    Until next time…

    When the Church Is Not Safe, and God Still Is
    Hallelujah!

  • 🧡🕊️ When God Stays

    When God Stays - Dedicated to Beloveds with Church Hurts
    When God Stays

    🧡🕊️🧡

    🕊️🙏🕊️

    “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.”

    — Psalm 27:10 (CSB)

    There is a particular kind of grief that comes when the place meant to shelter your faith becomes the place that wounds it.

    It doesn’t always arrive through cruelty or confrontation. Often, it comes through absence. Through silence. Through the slow realization that when things became inconvenient, uncomfortable, or costly, the people who once stood near quietly stepped back.

    This is the grief of spiritual abandonment.

    It happens when truth threatens reputation.

    When protection of an institution outweighs care for a person.

    When “keeping peace” means leaving someone alone in their pain.

    And it leaves behind a question that echoes deeply in the soul:

    If the church walked away… did God?

    Scripture answers this without defensiveness.

    No explanations.

    No justifications.

    Just presence.

    God does not confuse Himself with the systems built in His name. He does not require our silence to maintain His holiness. He does not disappear when others do.

    God stayed.

    He stayed with Hagar in the wilderness after she was cast out.

    He stayed with David when he was pursued by those he once served.

    He stayed with Jesus when religious leaders turned their backs and protected their power instead of truth.

    And He stays now.

    Not loudly.

    Not to prove a point.

    But faithfully.

    Spiritual betrayal has a way of making us doubt our own discernment. It whispers that we must have misunderstood, overreacted, or asked for too much. It tempts us to shrink our story so others can stay comfortable.

    But God does not ask us to minimize what harmed us in order to keep Him near.

    He stays in the doorway when everyone else leaves.

    He stays in the silence.

    He stays in the unanswered questions.

    He stays when trust is fractured and certainty is gone.

    Sometimes healing doesn’t begin with reconciliation.

    Sometimes it begins with clarity.

    God stayed.

    The church didn’t.

    That truth is not an accusation.

    It’s a release.

    You are not faithless for naming what happened.

    You are not rebellious for grieving what was lost.

    You are not alone for standing where others disappeared.

    If you are carrying spiritual hurt today, let this be enough for now:

    God is not offended by your honesty.

    God is not threatened by your questions.

    God is not absent from your story.

    He is still here.

    Reflection

    Where have I confused God’s presence with people’s approval? What grief have I been carrying silently because I didn’t feel safe naming it? What would it look like to let God stay with me here, without rushing toward resolution?

    Closing Prayer

    God,

    Stay with me where trust was broken.

    Meet me in the places where silence did the most damage.

    Give me courage to tell the truth gently and strength to heal honestly.

    Thank You for remaining when others did not.

    Amen. 🕊️🧡🕊️

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

    For similar writings, devotionals and Bible Studies, join us over at lovedshack.com.

  • Grace For What You Carry

    Women in law enforcement hold themselves to brutal standards. You catch every detail, every misstep, every “I should’ve handled that differently.” That pressure piles up fast; and before you know it, your heart feels like it’s carrying 80 pounds of unspoken frustration. Here’s the truth: Grace is not letting yourself off the hook. Grace is letting yourself breathe.
    Grace For What You Carry

    Grace For What You Carry

    “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

    —Colossians 3:13

    Beloved,
    Women in law enforcement hold themselves to brutal standards. You catch every detail, every misstep, every “I should’ve handled that differently.” That pressure piles up fast; and before you know it, your heart feels like it’s carrying 80 pounds of unspoken frustration.

    Here’s the truth:
    Grace is not letting yourself off the hook.
    Grace is letting yourself breathe.

    You’re human—not superhuman.
    The job demands a lot.
    Your emotions after a long shift are real.
    Relationships need softness, not perfection.

    Sometimes offering grace to others starts with extending it to yourself. You can’t forgive easily while beating yourself up. You can’t speak gently when your spirit is wrung out.

    Grace softens the jagged places.
    Grace makes room for connection again.
    Grace lets healing actually begin.

    Let go of what has been eating at you. Give grace to yourself. Then let it spill into the people around you.

    Speak Life Prompt:
    Choose one frustration you’ve carried too long. Offer yourself grace first; then hand it to God.

    Prayer:
    “Lord, teach me how to walk in grace. Help me forgive myself and others. Soften my heart, steady my relationships, and bring peace into the places that feel worn. Amen.”

    Closing Blessing:
    May the Lord grant you courage and wisdom as you serve, strength for every challenge, and peace that surpasses understanding. May He shield you in your work, guide your steps, and surround you with His love.

    Go forth with confidence, knowing that you are His daughters, chosen, empowered, and dearly loved. Amen.

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

    For more devotionals, go to lovedshack.com/communities and pick your topic at your leisure!

    For this devotional, go to Grace For What You Carry Devotional — Loved Shack

    Just because... Thank you for being Beautiful You!
    Just because… Thank you for being Beautiful You!

  • One day…

    One day…

    M💖M!

    Maybe you weren’t perfect.

    Maybe you were tired.

    But your love was always louder.

    And it mattered more than you know.

    Until next time…

    Keep being Beautiful You! 💖

  • Loved Shack Is Live!

    Merry Christmas, Blue Line Christmas Tree
    Chaplain Tammy’s Blue Line Christmas Tree

    Merry Christmas!

    It definitely was a white Christmas this year in California, with Lake Tahoe receiving almost six feet of new snow and still counting. A beautiful reminder of the peace and wonder of this season.

    “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.’”

    — Luke 2:10–11

    I pray your Christmas season continues to be filled with joy, peace, and God’s blessings. I’m truly grateful for each of you who have followed my writing and work the past decade and supported this ministry along the way.

    I’m excited to share that LovedShack.com is officially live! This has been a true labor of love—built with prayer, faith, and a heart for encouragement and connection.

    Beginning the end of January, I’ll be launching men’s and women’s Bible studies for law enforcement and corrections, while continuing to offer faith-based content and resources for the Loved Shack community. I’m truly blessed to have the support and guidance of respected state and federal professionals as we walk alongside and serve those in law enforcement.

    Important: Due to new SPAM and subscription laws, I’m unable to carry subscribers over.

    ➡️ To stay connected, please subscribe on LovedShack.com. This step must be completed by you personally.

    Thank you for being part of this wild journey. I’m excited to step into this next season together and watch God do what only He can do.

    Santa Claus and Chaplain Tammy
    Santa Claus and Chaplain Tammy having a little fun.

    Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year,

    Chaplain Tammy

  • A Christmas Blessing for the Ones Who Carry the World

    (First Responders, Mothers, Survivors, Nurses, Doctors, and Every Soul Who’s Fighting to Stay) This Christmas, I speak directly to the ones who rarely get spoken to — the ones who hold the line, hold the home, hold the hurt, and hold their breath when the world grows too loud. To the first responders: The ones who run toward crisis while others run away. The ones who see what breaks the rest of us. The ones who give Christmas away so others can keep it. Jesus sees you. The Savior who came into a violent world stands beside you in yours. He carries what you cannot say out loud. To the mothers: The ones who patch wounds they don’t have time to feel. The ones who smile through exhaustion and pray through fear. The ones who carry their families even when their own hearts are cracking. Jesus honors your unseen work. He holds your tears, your fatigue, your hopes, your grief, your memories; all of it.
    A Christmas Blessing for the Ones Who Carry the World

    A Christmas Blessing for the Ones Who Carry the World

    (First Responders, Mothers, Survivors, Nurses, Doctors, and Every Soul Who’s Fighting to Stay)

    This Christmas, I speak directly to the ones who rarely get spoken to —
    the ones who hold the line, hold the home, hold the hurt, and hold their breath when the world grows too loud.

    To the first responders:
    The ones who run toward crisis while others run away.
    The ones who see what breaks the rest of us.
    The ones who give Christmas away so others can keep it.

    Jesus sees you.
    The Savior who came into a violent world stands beside you in yours.
    He carries what you cannot say out loud.

    To the mothers:
    The ones who patch wounds they don’t have time to feel.
    The ones who smile through exhaustion and pray through fear.
    The ones who carry their families even when their own hearts are cracking.

    Jesus honors your unseen work.
    He holds your tears, your fatigue, your hopes, your grief, your memories; all of it.

    To the survivors, the silent fighters, the ones who barely made it to today:
    You are not weak for struggling.
    You are not a burden for breaking.
    You are not forgotten because you’re tired.

    Jesus Himself suffered.
    He does not stand above your pain —
    He steps into it. He sits inside it. He carries you out of it.

    To the ones who lost someone this year — including Kris:
    Your grief is holy.
    Your shock is real.
    Your love does not end at death’s door.

    And the God who collects every tear is near to the shattered heart.
    Kris’ life mattered, and her story will not be wasted…
    because your love still bears witness.

    This Christmas, may you feel the arms of the One who promised:
    “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
    He is not a man that He should lie.
    He has not lied about you.
    He has not left you.
    He is not done with you.

    He came so you would never walk alone…
    and when you cannot walk,
    He carries you.

    Merry Christmas to you…
    the brave, the broken, the burdened, the beloved,
    the ones who fight unseen battles and still choose love.

    May the Savior who was born in the dark
    shine His light into yours
    and carry you gently into the new year.

    Again, thank you for your service. Stay connected by subscribing to lovedshack.com, Chaplain Tammy’s that just went live at Christmas. Praise God, for He lives!!!

  • Christmas Message – Merry Christmas

    Christmas isn’t a reminder to “be cheerful.” It’s a reminder that God stepped into a world that was already breaking. Jesus didn’t watch our suffering from a distance. He entered it. He felt it. He carried it. And He still carries you. Because He Himself suffered, He understands every weight you shoulder. Because He promised never to leave or forsake you, He holds you when you can’t hold yourself. Because He is not a man that He should lie, His word stands even when your strength doesn’t.
    A Christmas Message – Merry Christmas

    A Christmas Message

    Merry Christmas

    The Savior was born so your story wouldn’t end here.

    Christmas isn’t a reminder to “be cheerful.”

    It’s a reminder that God stepped into a world that was already breaking.

    Jesus didn’t watch our suffering from a distance.
    He entered it.
    He felt it.
    He carried it.
    And He still carries you.

    Because He Himself suffered, He understands every weight you shoulder.
    Because He promised never to leave or forsake you, He holds you when you can’t hold yourself.
    Because He is not a man that He should lie, His word stands even when your strength doesn’t.

    This season, remember:
    The Savior who was born in the dark is the same Savior who carries you through your darkness.

    Lean into Him.
    He won’t let you go.
    He never has.
    He never will.

    Merry Christmas…
    from the One who came, the One who stayed, and the One who carries you still.

    Stay connected with Tammy by subscribing to lovedshack.com. There you will find many front doors leading to lifestyles and roles Tammy has personally walked throughout her life and the differing communities developing.

  • In Honor of Kris…

    Jesus Never Leaves Our Side

    In Honor of Kris

    In honor of losing a dear old friend, Kris, to suicide, Loved Shack is starting a 14-day devotional to help those suffering from anxiety and depression.

    For the ones fighting depression, grief, and the long nights — you are seen.

    This devotional begins in honor of someone deeply loved — Kris — a woman, whose life mattered, whose story mattered, and whose battle mattered.

    The shock of losing her reminds us how fierce, silent, and exhausting the fight against depression can be.

    No one knew the weight she carried like Jesus did —
    and no one ran beside her like Jesus did.

    And that same Jesus is running beside you.

    He runs with you when the morning feels impossible.
    He runs with you when your thoughts grow too heavy.
    He runs with you when no one else recognizes the storm inside your chest.
    He runs with you when you hide the pain behind your smile.
    He runs with you when you don’t know how to pray —
    and He runs with you when all you can whisper is, “God, please help me.”

    Jesus is not distant from suffering —
    He stepped into it.
    He carried His own cross through agony.
    He knows trauma, loneliness, betrayal, exhaustion, and fear.
    Because He suffered, He understands your suffering.
    Because He overcame, He carries you through yours.

    This devotional series is for the ones who are tired.
    The ones who feel invisible.
    The ones who have lost someone this year.
    The ones who wonder if their life still matters.
    The ones barely holding on.

    Kris’ life is honored here by telling the truth depression tries to silence:
    You are not alone.
    You are not beyond help.
    You are not forgotten.
    Jesus is still running with you — right now — exactly where you are.

    And when your strength fails,
    when your steps falter,
    when the night gets too heavy…

    He doesn’t stop running.
    He lifts you.
    He carries you.
    He keeps you alive until the light returns.

    This is the heart behind these 14 days:
    That someone reading this — even just one person — will feel the arms of the Savior who never lets go.

    Kris’ life mattered.
    Your life matters too.
    And Jesus, who ran with her,
    is running with you.

    With love, Tammy

  • Speak Life – Day 30 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Ending With Gratitude

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Ending With Gratitude

    “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”

    —Psalm 136:1

    As you finish these 30 days, let’s end with the most powerful thing you can do: gratitude.

    No matter what has come before or what lies ahead, take a moment to reflect on the goodness of God in your marriage.

    It’s easy to get caught up in what’s not perfect, but today, let’s thank God for every moment of love, every ounce of patience, and every bit of grace He’s poured into you both.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Take five minutes today to share with your spouse what you’re thankful for in them. Thank them for their love, support, and commitment.

    Prayer:

    “Lord, thank You for the gift of my spouse. Thank You for Your love that never fails. We are grateful for each other, and we are grateful for You.”

    You sacrifice daily for your community.

    Your spouse needs that same dedication.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    As you finish these 30 days, let’s end with the most powerful thing you can do: gratitude. No matter what has come before or what lies ahead, take a moment to reflect on the goodness of God in your marriage. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s not perfect, but today, let’s thank God for every moment of love, every ounce of patience, and every bit of grace He’s poured into you both. Speak Life Prompt: Take five minutes today to share with your spouse what you’re thankful for in them. Thank them for their love, support, and commitment.
    Ending With Gratitude

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 29 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Choosing Each Other Daily

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Choosing Each Other Daily

    “And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

    —Colossians 3:14

    Love is a choice, not a feeling. Every day, you wake up and choose to love your spouse—in words, actions, and thoughts.

    Choose to see the best in each other. Choose to serve one another. Choose to offer kindness when it’s hard and grace when it’s needed most.

    Today, reflect on how you can choose your spouse, even in the mundane moments. Love is most beautiful when it’s chosen over and over again

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Choose one small act of love today—even when you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed. Whether it’s a smile, a kind word, or an unexpected gesture, choose to love.

    Prayer:

    “Lord, thank You for the gift of love. Help me choose my spouse every single day, even when it’s not easy. May our love for each other reflect Your love for us.”

    The badge requires your courage.

    Your marriage deserves it too.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    Love is a choice, not a feeling. Every day, you wake up and choose to love your spouse—in words, actions, and thoughts. Choose to see the best in each other. Choose to serve one another. Choose to offer kindness when it’s hard and grace when it’s needed most. Today, reflect on how you can choose your spouse, even in the mundane moments. Love is most beautiful when it’s chosen over and over again
    Choosing Each Other Daily

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 28 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Praying Together

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Praying Together

    “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them.”

    —Matthew 18:20

    There’s something sacred about coming together in prayer. It binds your hearts, strengthens your bond, and invites God into your midst.

    When life gets hard, it can be easy to forget the power of prayer in a marriage. But the act of praying together is a reminder that you are not alone.

    Today, make it a point to pray together. It could be a simple prayer of gratitude, or it could be a prayer for strength and peace. Whatever it is, invite God into the middle of it.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Take five minutes to pray together today, even if it’s brief. Let God‘s peace fill your hearts and your home.

    Prayer:

    “God, thank You for the gift of prayer. Help me and my spouse connect with you daily and lean on Your strength together.”

    You’ve laid down your life for people you’ll never see again.

    Don’t forget to fight for the one waiting at home.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    There’s something sacred about coming together in prayer. It binds your hearts, strengthens your bond, and invites God into your midst. When life gets hard, it can be easy to forget the power of prayer in a marriage. But the act of praying together is a reminder that you are not alone. Today, make it a point to pray together. It could be a simple prayer of gratitude, or it could be a prayer for strength and peace. Whatever it is, invite God into the middle of it.
    Praying Together

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 27 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Rekindling Your First Love

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Rekindling Your First Love

    “I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert.”

    —Jeremiah 2:2

    The first time you fell in love, it was simple, exciting, and full of wonder. But sometimes, life gets busy, and we forget to rekindle that initial spark.

    Today, let’s intentionally remember the reasons we fell in love. What was it about your spouse that made your heart race? What made you feel seen, cherished, and chosen?

    Rekindling that fire doesn’t require grand gestures, just a genuine heart and a willing spirit.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Reminisce with your spouse about your first date, the moment you knew you were in love, or the silly things that made you laugh together.

    Prayer:

    “God, reignite the fire in my heart for my spouse. Let me remember how I first loved them and help me continue loving them with the same wonder.”

    You protect the community without hesitation.

    Protect your marriage with that same intensity.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    The first time you fell in love, it was simple, exciting, and full of wonder. But sometimes, life gets busy, and we forget to rekindle that initial spark. Today, let’s intentionally remember the reasons we fell in love. What was it about your spouse that made your heart race? What made you feel seen, cherished, and chosen? Rekindling that fire doesn’t require grand gestures, just a genuine heart and a willing spirit.
    Rekindling Your First Love

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 26 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Breaking Down Walls

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Breaking Down Walls

    “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

    —1 Peter 4:8

    Every relationship has its walls—walls built from past hurts, miscommunications, or unmet needs. But love is stronger than any wall.

    Today, ask God to help you tear down the walls that have built up over time. Let love flow freely between you and your spouse. Love that forgives, heals, and restores.

    It might take time, but let the strength of God’s love be the foundation upon which you rebuild.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Talk with your spouse about any walls that may have formed in your relationship. Ask God to help you tear them down with love and understanding.

    Prayer:

    “Lord, tear down the walls that separate me from my spouse. Let Your love be the healing balm for our hearts.”

    You run toward danger for strangers every shift.

    Today, run toward your spouse with that same courage.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    Every relationship has its walls—walls built from past hurts, miscommunications, or unmet needs. But love is stronger than any wall. Today, ask God to help you tear down the walls that have built up over time. Let love flow freely between you and your spouse. Love that forgives, heals, and restores. It might take time, but let the strength of God’s love be the foundation upon which you rebuild
    Breaking Down Walls

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 25 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Legacy of Love

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Legacy of Love

    “Let all that you do be done in love.”

    —1 Corinthians 16:14

    The way you love each other isn’t just for today. It’s a legacy.

    Today, look at your marriage as a legacy in the making. What are you leaving behind for the next generation? A love built on grace, patience, and Christ-centered unity.

    Speak Life today by pouring love into your marriage with the same vision of legacy—one rooted in honor, respect, and the teachings of Jesus.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Take a moment to reflect together on the love you want to leave behind. Share your hopes, dreams, and the legacy you want your marriage to create.

    Prayer:

    “Lord, let our love be a light that shines for generations. Help us create a legacy that honors you and speaks life into those who follow us.”

    You’ve spent your life fighting for your community.

    Now it’s time to fight for your marriage.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    The way you love each other isn’t just for today. It’s a legacy. Today, look at your marriage as a legacy in the making. What are you leaving behind for the next generation? A love built on grace, patience, and Christ-centered unity. Speak Life today by pouring love into your marriage with the same vision of legacy—one rooted in honor, respect, and the teachings of Jesus.
    Legacy of Love

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 24 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Forgiveness: The Path To Freedom

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Forgiveness Doesn’t Just Heal You, It Heals Us

    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

    —Ephesians 4:32

    Forgiveness isn’t just an act—it’s a choice.

    You’ll never find perfection in your spouse—and neither will they find it in you. But forgiveness is what clears the air, softens the heart, and brings healing.

    Forgiving is more than just saying words—it’s releasing the past and choosing to walk forward with love.

    Today, look into your spouse’s eyes and choose to forgive. Let go of past hurts, even if they still sting. Then, speak life into their future.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    If there’s something lingering between you, say, “I forgive you, and I choose to move forward together.”

    Prayer:

    “Lord, give me the strength to forgive, just as You’ve forgiven me. Help me release the past and walk in love today.”

    You sacrifice daily for your community.

    Your spouse needs that same dedication.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    Forgiveness isn’t just an act—it’s a choice. You’ll never find perfection in your spouse—and neither will they find it in you. But forgiveness is what clears the air, softens the heart, and brings healing. Forgiving is more than just saying words—it’s releasing the past and choosing to walk forward with love. Today, look into your spouse’s eyes and choose to forgive. Let go of past hurts, even if they still sting. Then, speak life into their future.
    Forgiveness Doesn’t Just Heal You, It Heals Us

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 23 – Law Enforcement Devotional – Strength In Silence

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    Strength in Silence

    “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

    —Exodus 14:14

    Sometimes, silence isn’t the absence of communication—it’s the depth of understanding.

    In the world of law enforcement, words can be heavy. There are days when the heart just needs to be still. To be present in the quiet, without the need for explanations.

    True intimacy isn’t always found in speaking, it’s found in holding space for each other.

    Today, practice the gift of stillness. Sit together. Hold each other. Let silence be your language of connection.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    Spend 10 minutes together, sitting in silence. No phones, no distractions—just each other. If words come, speak gently. If they don’t, be at peace.

    Prayer:

    “Lord, help me find peace in the quiet moments with my spouse. May we communicate in stillness and find connection in the unspoken.”

    The badge requires your courage.

    Your marriage deserves it, too.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    Sometimes, silence isn't the absence of communication; it's the depth of understanding. In the world of law enforcement, words can be heavy. There are days when the heart just needs to be still. To be present in the quiet, without the need for explanations.
    Strength in Silence

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • Speak Life – Day 22 – Law Enforcement Devotional – The Gift Of Patience

    Blue Haven – LE Support

    💙✝️💙

    Speak Life: Where Warriors Rest & Christ Heals

    Forged in the Fire. Restored by the Cross. 

    Thirty Days of Courage, Five Minutes with God.

    A Lifetime of Strength. 

    🔥🙏🔥

    Dear Beloveds,

    The Gift of Patience

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

    —1 Corinthians 13:4

    Sometimes the greatest gift we can give each other is patience.

    When the world is loud and demanding, it’s easy to get frustrated with the person closest to you. But true love waits.

    Love has the strength to endure, to pause, to give grace when it’s easiest to get impatient.

    Today, practice patience, even in the moments that would test it the most. Give your spouse the space to be human, and don’t hold their flaws against them.

    Speak Life Prompt:

    The next time you feel frustration rising, breathe, and say, “I’m choosing patience today—for you, and for us.“

    Prayer:

    “Jesus, help me choose patience over frustration. Teach me to love without expectations and give my spouse the grace You give me.”

    You’ve laid down your life for people you’ll never see again.

    Don’t forget to fight for the one waiting at home.

    Let’s speak life — every single day.

    Sometimes the greatest gift we can give each each other is patience. When the world is loud and demanding, it’s easy to get frustrated with the person closest to you. But true love waits. Love has the strength to endure, to pause, to give grace when it’s easiest to get impatient. Today, practice patience—even in the moments that would test it the most. Give your spouse the space to be human, and don’t hold their flaws against them.
    The Gift of Patience

    Marriage is a battlefield—but you don’t fight alone. God’s got your six, and so do I.

    With fierce love and holy defiance.

    Now go speak some life.

    With heart and honor,

    Tammy M. Ingram

    Founder, Speak Life | Loved Shack

    A Law Enforcement Support Devotional

    Chaplain Tammy's The Loved Shack Crest/Speak Life, Law Enforcement Support Devotional logo which signifies everything she believes in:  Jesus chose us!

    Until next time…

    Keep being Amazing You!

  • I’m Just A Party Waiting To Happen

    I’m A Party Just Waiting To Happen!

    †††

    “All at once I came alive…

    Out of the shadows,

    bound for the gallows,

    a dead man walking

    till love came calling.

    Rise up!

    Six feet under,

    I thought it was over.

    An answer to prayer,

    the voice of a Savior…

    Rise up!

    All at once I came alive.

    This beating heart, these open eyes.

    The grave let go.

    The darkness should have known,

    You’re still rolling stones…”

    —Lauren Daigle

    I am my Beloved’s, and He is more than mine!

    My name is Tammy Ingram and I’m a party just waiting to happen! Don’t believe me? Come rejoice with me as we celebrate these truths through daily profession that are written in the Word of God about US (God’s chosen beloveds) and you’ll understand where my obnoxious optimism and joy comes from.

    I’m a party just waiting to happen; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, waiting to pop (1 Peter 1:8)! Angels rejoice over me (Luke 15:10) as the demons flee in pure terror (James 4:7). Ha! Top that off, the Lord God Almighty Himself dances over me as He serenades me with His love (Zephaniah 3:17). You see, I am chosen by God (John 15:16) and this beloved not only has Favor with man and understanding, but F-A-V-O-R with the Lord God Almighty (Luke 2:52). Hello!

    I mean, I am called His Work of Art, His Masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), after all. Even before the creation of the world, I was planned and chosen (Ephesians 1:4). I am always on my Lord’s mind and He thinks about me constantly (Psalms 139:17-18), which is probably why I’m considered the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).

    And no, God is N-O-T thinking about putting me in a straitjacket either!

    I lack no good thing (Psalm 34:10) and I was predestined for success by none other than the Lord God Almighty Himself (Romans 8:28-30). I am placed and seated with God, a royal priesthood, chosen by God as His very own. My value comes from being the KING’s daughter with royal blood running through my veins, part of His chosen generation, peculiar people we are (1 Peter 2:9), and NOT from my own achievements.

    Meditating on these TRUTHS should be a part of our daily regimen and dance (worship). Talk about a confidence builder, knowing where to run for safety and refuge and where to pick up and receive this treasure trove, reminding us of our worth and value being God‘s pursued child. Speaking and prophesying God’s promises over our lives so we DO NOT BELIEVE the LIES of the enemy that’s so easily entangle us!

    And as my fave Lisa Bevere said, “God has a way of taking every bad choice, every misstep and redeeming it, not just for our future, but for the benefit of others.“

    Look up, child! God’s still rolling stones…

    You might start understanding where my joy comes from. Stick around! It won’t take long. I can’t wait until you’re able to look into the mirror and see who God created: Beautiful You!

    This is why I’ve decided to share and publish each week my commitment in reaching and teaching our amazing homeless beloveds this Bible study I’m writing called God’s Great Love Changes Everything!

    Introducing the love of our Father through the magnificent works of the Holy Spirit’s transformation is simply believing and experiencing what the Bible says about us daily through application. There’s so much love, contentment and healing to be experienced this side of heaven.

    Removing our veils of shame; acknowledging and believing who we were created to be is powerful; filled with joy, laughter, and lots of celebratory dancing…

    Celebrating Each Other

    There’s no competition here. This CEO considers the acronym CEO to mean Celebrating Each Other.

    I was once so tired trying to belong and fit in and be accepted anywhere and everywhere with whomever, I resolved to suicidal tendencies, even driving off a cliff. Nothing short of miraculous being alive today! Trying to perform and conform to society’s standards just to be loved and accepted is exhausting, isn’t it?

    This might help shed light on why I wrote Rejection is Merely a Redirection last year.

    We all just want to be loved, find where we fit in, you know, that place of belonging that says we’re enough just the way we are (beautiful enough, smart enough, sophisticated enough, loved enough), being seen, and acknowledged that our lives do matter. No judgment and/or condemnation here. Blameless’ motto: There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!

    Just ask my grown sons who are now 40 and 33; they’ll agree, I’m one Crazy Grammy Tammy!

    Your life is a party waiting to happen! We’re all in this together. Nothing would make me happier than hearing you tap into these truths while living them out. One blossoming, confident beloved!

    If you follow us each week with your Bible, you’ll experience through laughter, sometimes even raw and candid vulnerability, transformation ushering in celebration as these truths become part of your own makeup.

    Until next time…

  • Redemption That Transforms

    Redemption That Transforms

    Through Challenges and Adversity, We Build Strength!

    When we let God have our lives, He can do far more with it than even we dare to imagine! There are many of us that are willing to do great things for the Lord, but few of us are willing to do little things. -D.L. Moody

    About Donna…

    Donna understands generational dysfunction as well as how God sees endless potential for redemption. God pursues and His Love never relents!

    Being adopted by parents who were doing their best as alcoholics to raise their children, along with masking over the pain delivered from the sting of abandonment and rejection, this slowly led Donna to find more comfort and dependency on her next fix; you know, getting high just to get by. This substance misuse led her spiraling down a highway to hell with absolutely no exit or offramp.

    Several arrests later and a couple incarceration stays for numerous crimes devoted solely to satisfy her fix, Donna found Jesus in prison all due to an honorable judge in drug court who believed in a different approach.

    Donna was blessed to have her record expunged, and her heart wants to lean into helping other women find peace and God’s Great Love in their lives so they can be a productive member of society and be accepted as our new neighbor.

    All lives have value! We can’t forget, 95% of our incarcerated residents are going to be our neighbor some day; ready or not, here they come. Let’s embrace them with rehabilitative programming and BE READY!

    Help us welcome our beloved Donna and maybe even say hi to her on Blameless and Forever Free Ministries’ Facebook page.

    Until next time…

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries, through Chaplain Tammy Ingram, wrote a 255-page rehabilitative workbook for our incarcerated residents to lead them towards redemption delivering transformation.

  • God’s Redemption! Reoffenders Lack Relationships

    God’s Redemption!

    Transformation Matters | Reoffenders Lack Relationships

    For the incarcerated residents that Blameless and Forever Free Ministries impacts, transformation occurs through God’s Great Love, coupled with connectedness, awareness and vulnerability.

    ⚓️ Connectedness is the relational anchor ⚓️

    For our incarcerated to understand themselves and their actions, Blameless believes it requires understanding their history; and that includes generational familial dysfunction. After all, the “emotional residue of our past follows us.” -Dr. Bruce Perry

    Until the wounds of our childhood traumas are healed, we will continue to bleed. The wounds will bleed through and stain our lives, whether it’s through drugs, alcohol, incarceration, etc.

    It takes community/belonging to equip them with the courage to pull out the arrow, the deep wound, and begin to heal. That is what our workbook, “Suffering in Silence,” offers with God’s amazing grace.

    With such a high demand, on this #GivingTuesday, Nov. 30, we pray that you will find it in your heart to support the distribution of our “Suffering in Silence” programming that is helping foster transformation through redemption and rehabilitation in our state prisons.

    To make a donation now and/or on Nov. 30, go to

    👉 👉 blamelessandforeverfreeministries.org/givingtuesday-charitable-fundraiser

    Until next time…

  • Standing In The Gap

    As Jesus hung on the cross between two prisoners, holiness took its place among the broken. One mocked, one believed, showing that mercy is never out of reach, not even in our darkest hour.
    Mercy in the Middle!

    Standing In The Gap

    I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one… (Ezekiel 22:30, MSG).

    Suffering in Silence

    Is your faith true and strong enough to stand in the gap and bring healing in the Name of Love Himself?

    Many of us profess our faith is deep and legit; yet, there is NO evidence of any fruit. Sitting in the pews every Sunday does not illustrate anything but religious mindsets filled with judgment, fear and condemnation.  

    If we’ve been touched by the love of God, that LOVE cannot stay contained within.  This Great Love affair will burst forward with actions filled with tender mercies and gratuitous hearts that fully expose and radiate the fruit of our Spirit.

    Where does our relationship with Jesus, the Love of the Father, fit in with all the deceit claiming that obedience is only required within the four walls of our congregations and its members?

    God blesses each of us so we can be a blessing to others.

    How can we say we are “a part” of the Body of Christ without standing in the gap to bring healing to the bruised and hurt lives without any action?  

    How Few Workers!

    When Jesus looked out over the crowds, His heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!“ He said to His disciples. “How few workers!  On your knees and pray for harvest hands!“ (Matthew 9:35-38, MSG).

    Standing in the gap is defined as “to expose oneself for the protection of something; to make defense against any assailing danger; to take the place of a fallen defender or supporter.”

    95% of our incarcerated will be released from our prisons and soon become our neighbors.  We are commanded as believers to “love our neighbor as ourselves” and that means building relational communities that help bring healing, wholeness and rehabilitation into broken lives. 

    That is, after all, what we call redemption. This is what being A PART of the Body of Christ is. 

    Until next time…

  • Our Presence and Purpose is Powerful!

    What These Eyes See Now Matters...
    What These Eyes See How Matters!

    Our Presence and Purpose is Powerful!

    1 John 4:7

    When we love one another, we remember we are not fighting for just ourselves, but we are fighting for humanity that the Word calls for in 1 John 4:7.

    Did you know that, according to one Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, which surveyed adults across the U.S. in late June of 2020, 31% of respondents reported some form of mental health care symptoms and are in need of proper mental health treatment?

    And with the largest mental health institution in the United States being our prison system, the sobering number of unmet mental health needs is heartbreaking.

    The beloveds that Blameless and Forever Free Ministries pours into may be imprisoned and/or recently released from state prison, but the connective tissue of true rehabilitation is in the transforming of one’s mind requiring relational community.

    Every individual who has been incarcerated has a great need for appropriate mental health care treatment both during their incarceration and once released back into community.

    And to love one another, forgiveness is necessary (not negating the crime) along with meeting them right where they are at developmentally.

    Building healthy individuals and families should be our number one priority so we have a fighting chance at safer communities and developing healthy generations.  

    Future generations, meaning YOUR children and your children’s children, are being formed this very moment and what those little eyes see and hear now matters.

    Until next time…

  • National Correctional Officers Week

    Sunday marked the beginning of National Correctional Officers Week, which honors correctional staff everywhere for the dedication and commitment they show each and every day in their profession. CACorrections #nationalcorrectionalofficersweek Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is honored to know many outstanding Correctional Officers, especially from Folsom State Prison, that deserve recognition and who go above and beyond the call of duty. Even though COs have to constantly monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated population and incoming visitors, they engage with the family members and friends of the incarcerated, too, who all too often are subjected to harsh judgment and disregard. Tragically, on July 2, 2020, Folsom State Prison lost one of its valuable Correctional Officers named Tawfic K. Rashid. Officer Rashid left behind his beautiful bride, Katie, and three amazing children to continue in his legacy of honor and service. Officer Rashid was always out for an adventure! He served his country and retired from the U.S. Army after 20 years of service and dedication, then served as a Correctional Officer at Folsom State Prison for three years. Officer Rashid kept order and control through his quiet confidence while enforcing rules. His respect and kindness towards everyone who entered the prison grounds were greeted with grace and respect while performing his duties. During his time at FSP, we were blessed with his invaluable inquisition commanding safety and scrutiny through his benign quirkiness. His kindness was extended to all, but his respect for humanity extended far beyond the prison walls. Of notable mention, when one extends and acknowledges the value and worth of all humanity, namely the incarcerated and their loved ones, as they're waiting in the pain, eating the bread of adversity and water of affliction, it radiates one's character of dignity and honor that cannot be dimmed nor refuted. It also changes the cold and sterile environment inside prison walls. Sure, Officer Rashid had success with his ability to monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated and visiting-member population, but the aforementioned set him apart from others, and that is why we are honored to nominate his life as one whose conduct should be mirrored. Just one reason why he was able to enforce rules and keep order in the prison so easily during his shifts. #rip

    National Correctional Officers Week

    In Honor Of

    Tawfic K. Rashid

    Sunday marked the beginning of National Correctional Officers Week, which honors correctional staff everywhere for the dedication and commitment they show each and every day in their profession.

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is honored to know many outstanding Correctional Officers, especially from Folsom State Prison, that deserve recognition and who go above and beyond the call of duty.

    Even though COs have to constantly monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated population and incoming visitors, they engage with the family members and friends of the incarcerated, too, who all too often are subjected to harsh judgment and disregard.

    Tragically, on July 2, 2020, Folsom State Prison lost one of its valuable Correctional Officers named Tawfic K. Rashid.  Officer Rashid left behind his beautiful bride, Katie, and three amazing children to continue in his legacy of honor and service.  

    Officer Rashid was always out for an adventure!  He served his country and retired from the U.S. Army after 20 years of service and dedication, then served as a Correctional Officer at Folsom State Prison for three years.  

    Officer Rashid kept order and control through his quiet confidence while enforcing rules.  His respect and kindness towards everyone who entered the prison grounds were greeted with grace and respect while performing his duties.

    During his time at FSP, we were blessed with his invaluable inquisition commanding safety and scrutiny through his benign quirkiness. His kindness was extended to all, but his respect for humanity extended far beyond the prison walls.

    Of notable mention, when one extends and acknowledges the value and worth of all humanity, namely the incarcerated and their loved ones, as they’re waiting in the pain, eating the bread of adversity and water of affliction, it radiates one’s character of dignity and honor that cannot be dimmed nor refuted.  It also changes the cold and sterile environment inside prison walls.

    Sure, Officer Rashid had success with his ability to monitor, supervise and manage the incarcerated and visiting-member population, but the aforementioned set him apart from others, and that is why we are honored to nominate his life as one whose conduct should be mirrored. Just one reason why he was able to enforce rules and keep order in the prison so easily during his shifts.

    Until next time…

    People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

  • Good Friday Meets Jesus On Death Row

    He Is Risen

    Good Friday Meets Jesus On Death Row

    Reflecting on the depth of despair that must have been present on Good Friday, it feels unfathomable to encounter such forgiveness that Jesus extended towards those who not only condemned and executed Him, but the criminals hanging alongside of Him as He awaited His execution.

    Here we become so hurt and violated over petty assaults stemming from moments of disregard, gossip, and hurled insults.  But to proclaim this unimaginable mercy as one looks down on those condemning Him, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34), it’s obvious we have no idea of the resurrection power that is available to us and at work in us.

    Whoever thought love, forgiveness and second chances would require resurrection power?  We generally lean inward to self to believe we’re only talking about our failures, our sins, our mistakes and our regrets.

    Oh, how I want to love like Jesus!

    Don’t you?

    Everything Jesus did for us, He did out of love.  God showed His Great Love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).  God didn’t just say He loved us, He showed us.

    Love is an action that we tend to forget that requires active participation; loving when we don’t feel like it.  We want it OUR WAY AND WHEN WE FEEL LIKE LOVING!!!

    Easter shows us the depth and width of God’s Great Love. The Bible says in Psalm 57:3 that God will send down help from heaven to save us because of His Love.  That’s what Jesus did on Easter. Jesus came from heaven to save us because of His amazing love.

    And when they came to the place that is called “The Skull,” they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on His right and one on His left (Luke 23:33).

    Amazing how Jesus is still showing His Love as He takes the works of the crucifixion and turns it into the first “Christian community” placing emphasis on the criminals alongside of Him.  

    Jesus may have appeared insignificant to the world; yet, He is our greatest gift that keeps on giving and our greatest advocate!  Without His Great Love, we surely could not love.  Without His forgiveness, we truly could not forgive and release the imprisonment of rage and bitterness. 

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries Forgiveness Practice

    This is the beauty and power of the resurrection as Good Friday Meets Jesus On Death Row.  When Jesus stretched His arms out as wide as the cross, He was saying, “I love you this much!  I love you to eternity. I love you so much, it hurts.  I love you so much, I’ll die for you so that I won’t have to live without you.”  

    Knowing I’m loved like that, transforms and unleashes courage to be all He says I am and can be!

    Isn’t that why we’re told to love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins?

    Because of what Jesus did for us on Good Friday, leading to Resurrection Sunday (Easter), forgiveness reminds us that we cannot diminish human beings.  “We’re all capable of being better than our worst selves.”

    They crucified Jesus with criminals, and there’s good reason Jesus made it a point to draw our focus towards those incarcerated both at the beginning of His ministry (Luke 4:18-19) and all the way to the end (Matthew 25:35-36).

    The Church is challenged to Call For Abolition by advocating for the repeal of capital punishment.  This requires the Body of Christ to walk out through LOVE human dignity that requires us to build opportunities for healing, community and redemption.

    We can’t just pretend to love others.  We have to really love them!!!  Hate what is wrong.  Hold tightly to what is good (Romans 12:9).

    He is Risen!


    Until next time…

  • Dehumanization Is Not The Answer…

    Dehumanization Is Not The Answer…

    This is a picture of a GROUP THERAPY session at California’s San Quentin Prison. Personally, all I can see is an animalistic inkling.

    This is how some of our men and women incarcerated live; for many years also. They go from one cage to another. Residing in these tiny cages 23 hours a day.  They are put in there for disciplinary reasons, SAFETY concerns and/or investigative reasons, but…

    After just a couple of hours, psychological warfare sets in.  

    There’s a line here. Has to be! One etched in dignity. Like Brene’ Brown said, Dehumanizing others crosses that line. And it still sadly exists today, even though it obviously never worked to rehabilitate, make communities that are safer, and/or decrease recidivism rates and crime with over 2.2 million people incarcerated in the U.S.

    Wonder why???  

    It’s a process of stripping all mental capacities which deprives them of human qualities and makes them appear less human, creating animalistic qualities full of rage, if you ask me. There’s nothing rehabilitative and transforming in this inhumane treatment.

    They do need to serve their time for their crime; however, but in this setting/time out that can last years, it just creates more rage and violence. Imagine years like this!!!

    Their lives need redemption and it’s kind of hard to identify and change old behavioral problems due to their own childhood traumas and deep wounds in this environment. This just reinforces their hostile triggers and reactions that they never learned to deal with because of generational dysfunction and/or systemic trauma with nobody taking the time to invest into their lives and teach them the tools necessary for success.

    This is not an acceptable form of rehabilitation, this is creating more problems and more violence.  They need skills and environments conducive to healing and wholeness that a sterile cage cannot deliver.

    Break Every Chain…


    If you stuck me inside one of those cages for more than a couple hours, even with all my favorite books, I’d become crazy and hostile too, much less for years.  Being provoked doesn’t take much when you’re stuck in a cage being treated like an animal and mocked with no one to speak with/to or engage in conversation with. 

    The ground turns into some pretty scary hallucinations, I’m sure.  

    And if you’re not coached/led to some form of self-reflection and community, you’re never going to understand how to exist in community as a productive member of society that you struggled with in the first place due to your poor choices and decisions that contributed to your incarceration. Therefore, you will continue to exist through this revolving door of repeated criminal conduct and state prison with many more people suffering due to being unhealed and this dysfunctional behavior.

    Hurt People Hurt Others, But Healed People Heal!

    It’s sad! A travesty.  I get all sides being a survivor of violent crimes myself, being a chaplain, marrying once into law enforcement/corrections, along with a son who did time, but this is inhumane and it’s not solving anything except for throwing the keys away of residents whose lives do matter, have value and can be redeemed and transformed.

    That’s the power of our beautiful Jesus, He’s in the business of transforming lives, and I’ve been honored to witness it!  That’s what prisons and/or healing centers are supposed to deliver, transformed lives. Sadly, the deep hurts that led the men and women to prison in the first place are RARELY dealt with.  In fact, we release them back into society in worse shape than when they entered state prison. That’s scary and not building safer communities.  And now you can see why.

    This is just an easy way to pocket the money of taxpayers that should be going to programs that actually change lives, restore and bring healing to all affected by crime, especially the victims.

    And the scary and sad thing about this is, our residents have been suffering in silence locked up now for over a year without programming and/or visitation from loved ones due to COVID and we wonder why they’re so full of anxiety, rage and suicidal ideation right now. We have our work cut out for us once we get back inside our state prisons to facilitate programming.

    Talk about a humanitarian crisis!

    That’s the end of that honest narrative in Tammy Tangent fashion.  Guess I needed to purge my own frustrations in what others are trying to cover over.  Amazing what God exposes at times.

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries and Chaplain Tammy believes that human suffering could connect all of us, if only we had the courage to share in it.

    Until next time…

  • By The Time A Crime Is Committed And A Victim Is Harmed, The Root Causes Of The Crime May Have Occurred Long Ago! -D.A. Kevin Barton

    By The Time A Crime Is Committed And A Victim Is Harmed, The Root Causes Of The Crime May Have Occurred Long Ago!

    -D.A. Kevin Barton

    And our prisons are filled with wounded souls that need healing. This requires connection, community, compassion and safe places for healing to begin.

    Ready or not, 95% of our incarcerated residents will be released as our neighbor!

    Sexual Assault Against Boys Is A Crisis


    It’s far more common than we think. Below are a couple of great articles shedding light as to why we don’t talk about it. It’s far more pervasive than we think.

    Discussions regarding sexual violence against boys and men need not be uncomfortable and awkward, but it will require honest, open and transparent communications that require listening and engagement.

    I share, taking 15 minutes of time invested in this reading will save souls, maybe even the lives of our own future children, their children and/or our grandchildren.

    Sexual violence against boys is far more common than we think. And since Sundays seem to be the perfect day Blameless lays out and exposes hard issues, we’ll continue because our sons, grandsons and future generations, heck ALL BOYS and MEN for that matter, are invaluable members of the Body of Christ and when they’re being attacked, we need to have the courage to stand in the gap with them.

    Jesus wants our eyes open through the lens of love and Sabbath days are perfect days to chew on tough matters. If we want to raise boys differently, we must start believing that they are equally capable of feeling pain AND doing violence.

    Just reading these couple articles will help empower awareness and shed light to toxic stress, trauma, the reality of our dark culture, and open up a dialogue exposing behaviors of generational household dysfunction that would even think that hazing and bullying are acceptable behaviors, much less without also addressing violence against men and boys.

    This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is now adding the incarcerated families to our curriculum to work through some household dysfunctional issues with the residents at Folsom State Prison because there’s an intergenerational link tied to the revolving door of our lives that needs addressing and exposure to sever the strongholds.

    After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name! And in order to receive healing, we must name it and that requires intention.

    The article below is from the Washington Post and it sheds so much light as to why we don’t want to talk about matters concerning boys and men in being sexually violated and how and why we need to engage in these tough questions and conversations.

    👉 https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2021/02/22/why-we-dont-talk-about-sexual-violence-against-boys-why-we-should/?arc404=true

    I only hope and pray you’ll take the time to look through the lens of trauma and compassion when looking at others that are different from us.

    Until next time…

  • It All Comes Down To Love…

    It All Comes Down To Love!

    So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.

    God Is Love

    Those who are loved by God, let His love continually pour from you to one another, because God is love. Everyone who loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him. The one who doesn’t love has yet to know God, for God is love. The light of God’s love shined within us when He sent his matchless Son into the world so that we might live through Him (1 John 4:7-9).

    This is love: He loved us long before we loved Him. it was His love, not ours. He proved it by sending His Son to be the pleasing sacrificial offering to take away our sins.

    Delightfully loved ones, if He loved us with such tremendous love, then “loving one another” should be our way of life!

    LOVE softens traumatic memories. Memories of being loved that we can access or create help us tolerate suffering.

    It all comes down to love!

    For all my friends who are overcoming being traumatized; there is no shame in being traumatized. God’s Love is so amazing, we need to focus on giving ourselves credit for being resilient enough to survive our adverse experiences along with surviving our difficult childhoods.

    Our hidden wounds are healing now that we have the courage to address them with understanding, compassion and skill.

    Cheers to viewing this suffering as a challenging experience that called us to acquire new inner strengths and coping skills. That’s part of the healing process in being the courageous, transitional person in our family tree that breaks the cycle of suffering. Hallelujah!

    Daughters raised with a father’s love are more likely to feel worthy of love, and less likely to seek love in unhealthy ways.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Jesus wants to know, “Will you be mine?”

    Until next time…

    Culture changes one heart at a time. Transformed people transform culture.

  • Children’s Mental Health Week ~ Tracing Your Family’s Cycle Of Alcohol Misuse Can Help Break The Generational Familial Cycle

    Tracing Your Family’s Cycle Of Alcohol Misuse Can Help Break The Generational Familial Cycle

    As we are writing our new programming for our residents at Folsom State Prison, one thing has become extremely heavy on my heart:  We have to stop hiding and denying our generational strongholds. 

    Don’t we all want safer communities, unity and peace? 

    I sure do!

    Why are we so ashamed to dig in and start shifting the paradigm by talking about our struggles that led us into this mass incarceration fiasco through honest, open and transparent conversations?

    Building healthy communities requires open communication, not hiding behind our facades/screens/pretentiousness.

    My own personal tragedy opened my eyes to a need and cause worthy of all cost and exposure!  After all, there is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!

    Having those shackles removed is liberating!

    The longer we hide behind our Sunday facades of Christianity or pride, denying there’s a problem from the shame, judgment and fear, more lives will be lost.  We will never have peace and/or healing and each generation will become more volatile and violent. 

    Our prisons are already filled with over 2.2 million broken beloveds. That’s not counting their families and those precious littles who’ll fall into hurting children grow into hurting adults, so it’s urgent we start transforming our prisons into healing centers.

    This is why Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is dedicated to delivering ACE-aware curriculum that breaks the cycle of intergenerational and systemic trauma and crime merging both the good news of the gospel along with the proven neuroscience in collaboration with the ACEs Aware initiative.

    Restoring broken lives through God’s Great Love infused with restorative justice practices in order to decrease criminal recidivism requires focusing on the effects of early life experiences and environmental change, and that includes the family and all of its dysfunction.

    Show me “One Family”

    that doesn’t have dysfunction!!!

    We’re not doing anyone good by denying it; the struggle is real!

    At Blameless we aim for Folsom State Prison to be an iconic symbol of healing and wholeness where all parties (staff, residents AND loved ones) transform culture through trauma-informed practices and resiliency.

    Incorporating the families into the curriculum during this extensive isolation period is necessary in dealing with unresolved trauma, which includes addictive behaviors, an inability to deal with conflict, anxiety, confusion, depression or that innate belief that we have no value.

    No Value?

    Basic human need is belonging; knowing “I MATTER!”

    Individuals who have the capacity for intimacy and connection believe that they belong and are connected to others are opportunities that usher in healing. We have to reestablish this safety zone.

    This closeness should come through the family, right? We need our loved ones involved now more than ever as we campaign for 3,000 tablets for programming for each resident at FSP!

    This is the story of our amazing Lord who meets us in our pain and is using every heartache for something bigger than we could ever ask for or imagine.

    Jesus didn’t suffer so we would stay broken, He came to redeem lives and bring healing.

    One thing we know about people who are traumatized, is that a supportive family and a sense of community lessens the impact of the trauma.  We need to become healing organizations and start valuing all of mankind.

    Every life has value!

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries Forgiveness Practice

    I decided to start this awareness campaign on Sunday since it’s generally celebrated as the Sabbath and admit, if I didn’t have an allergic reaction and sensitivity to alcohol, I’d be the first person to uncork a bottle of my favorite Jesus Juice any time. 

    I’m not here to judge. I’m here to bring awareness to one trauma that fills up our state prisons along with watching a few of my own friends leaning into increased drinking due to the loneliness they’re feeling being socially distanced.

    It took an allergic reaction a couple of years ago to help me understand the many underlining strongholds that are associated with addictive behaviors, like abuse and depression, that my own family lineage passed down.

    Time to sever the dysfunction and that requires awareness and tools for identification!

    Our prisons are filled with beloveds that have the highest ACE scores. With four or more ACEs, you’re seven times more likely to become incarcerated in your lifetime.

    T.R.A.U.M.A.

    As Dr. Robert Anda, Co-Principal Investigator on the ACE-Study, writes, “Growing up with alcohol abusing parents is strongly related to the risk of experiencing other categories of ACEs.” 

    In other words, a parent’s alcohol misuse causes drinking behaviors; drinking behaviors cause secondhand drinking – the negative impacts of a person’s drinking behaviors on others, such as:

    • verbal, physical, emotional abuse;
    • neglect;
    • unpredictable behaviors;
    • parents separate or divorce;
    • alcohol-related domestic violence;
    • alcohol-related crime that results in incarceration.

    These drinking behaviors, in turn, cause ACEs to a child, such as:

    • physical, verbal, sexual abuse
    • physical, emotional neglect
    • living with a problem drinker or alcoholic
    • parents separated or divorced
    • incarcerated family member.
    • domestic violence against one’s mother.

    We encourage you to use this wonderful template that’s been created to trace a Family’s ACEs Tree (click here to download) hoping it will help you in understanding the familial cycle of alcohol misuse in your own family.

    Please understand, we’re not suggesting that just because one knows their Family ACEs Tree excuses or even minimizes or erases the impacts of their own traumas, nor does it stop the triggers one still experiences as a consequence of those ACEs. 

    Rather, we pray that it will help with the healing process, by developing pacifying and reassuring techniques to counter those impacts, and in time, to forgive — to forgive oneself and those whom hurt them so deeply.

    And that forgiveness can be as simple as letting go of the yearning for a different outcome by understanding that everyone was doing the best they could with the tools they had at the time and/or what they knew at the time — which was likely — well, another novel.

    Until next time…

  • The Depth Of Our Pain Is An Indication Of The Pinnacle Awaiting In Our Future!

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries believes the depth of our pain is an indication of the pinnacle awaiting in our future!

    The Depth Of Our Pain Is An Indication Of The Pinnacle Awaiting In Our Future!

    Everybody’s screaming for a different story right now, drinking and smoking more, through all the unknowns, the diseases, the division, and the despair from loneliness and death, but I’M NOT!!!

    Well…

    Honestly, I am suffering with my greatest health crisis ever right now, but my Lord doesn’t leave us to our own strength to conquer these summits alone. He simply asks us to trust and remember that when we’re weak, He is strong!

    I admit, when the physical and emotional pain is unbearable and you literally can’t move, sometimes crying me a Noah’s Flood is the only thing moving in full force!

    Chaplain Tammy believes that Tears come from the heart where healing starts.

    But the Lord said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    2 Corinthians 12:9-10

    The depth of our pain is an indication of the pinnacle awaiting in our future.

    When we experience trauma, our trust in the world, our relationships, and ourselves are often broken. We heal in community and in relationship with others, not suffering ALONE in silence and isolation.

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries and Chaplain Tammy understands that trauma upends everything we took for granted, including things we didn’t know we took for granted. -C Woodwiss

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries is an ACEs-aware nonprofit organization, which is part of an initiative of the Office of the California Surgeon General and the Department of Health Care Services, offering Medi-Cal providers training, clinical protocols, and payment for screening children and adults for ACEs.

    Together we are working to raise awareness about the effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in hopes of building a healthier community and a brighter future for our children and future generations.  

    The importance of acknowledging our stressors of the past in order to thrive in the present along with practical tips to build greater resilience requires understanding how our earlier experiences influence our relationships today. 

    Prevention is intervention. We have to invest heavily into people’s lives and transform our prisons into healing centers!  95% of our incarcerated population will be released and will become our neighbors.  If we want safe communities, we need to invest NOW into their lives through rehabilitation programs leading to redemption. That requires prevention. 

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries aims for Folsom State Prison to be an iconic symbol of healing and wholeness where all parties (incarcerated people along with staff) transform culture together through trauma-informed practices. 

    Our residents inside our prisons need healing and wholeness to overcome their addiction, their anxiety, their depression, and the anger caused by a childhood filled with the trauma of abuse, neglect and household dysfunction.  This trauma we’re speaking of occurs before their 18th birthday.  Our families are broken and this is where we get to change the paradigm and work proactively together.

    If you’d like to look at or take the ACEs survey, click here

    Blameless was created to provide curriculum and programs that help break the cycle of intergenerational and systemic trauma and crime. With our prisons being in lockdown for almost a year, we have our work cut out for us once we’re allowed entry back into the prisons. Lives suffering in silence and isolation poses a threat to both the individual and the stability of the setting. Connection is vital to stable mental health.

    When people learn what adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are, what the typical responses are to trauma, it helps them understand themselves; why they react instead of responding, those ugly, pesky triggers; that they’re not crazy; they understand their own feelings and their behaviors, which is part of the work we’re doing and what we’re trying to help them understand.

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries along with Chaplain Tammy understands that grieving is social, and so is healing!

    Our men and women in prison have the highest ACE scores.  Amazingly, if you have four or more ACEs, you’re seven times more likely to be incarcerated in your lifetime.  We can’t forget, these traumas occur before age 18; that’s catastrophic for everyone.

    Even myself, I have a score of 7 ACEs out of 10.  It was by the grace of God ONLY that He turned my traumas and household dysfunction into vessels of love and healing to engage with and walk alongside of those who are hurting, abandoned, rejected and traumatized.

    I also humbly did the work because I saw what trauma has done to generations of my own amazing family and I wanted this curse severed.

    Somebody has to initiate CHANGE! I pray it’s you…

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries Forgiveness Practice

    As I often share my own painful traumas, I am a survivor of violent crimes (yes, plural). I was married into law enforcement. I have been a commissioned chaplain since 2010, and I also had a son incarcerated due to his own deep hurts of anger brought on by trauma growing up.  I’ve worn many hats on every side of this revolving door while working in the criminal justice system, but I refuse to hide underneath a mourning veil when there are lives in need of hope and healing.

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries, along with Chaplain Tammy, believes everyone has value!

    There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His Name!  And I pray relentlessly that you can understand that prevention is intervention and it starts with us, all of us, especially the Body of Christ, NOW!!!  There’s no time to waste.  Time is a valuable commodity.

    Everyone Has Value!

    Until next time…

    Blameless and Forever Free Ministries and Chaplain Tammy believes that human suffering could connect all of us, if only we had the courage to share in it.

  • About Me/Meet Tammy Ingram/Founder

    Tam Pic 2017

    About Me

    About me…  For starters, I proudly wear the crown in being Grammy Tammy. I was graced with a princess granddaughter after raising, and surviving, rambunctious sons.  All I knew besides being knee deep in stinky socks, baseballs and Tonka trucks, were starving boys and enamored, pestering girls.  Now a whole new world of tiaras and tutus and bright pink manicures-pedicures enriches each day along with giggles and princess kisses.

    On a more serious note, I am a beach girl raised in good ‘ole Southern California.  When I’m traveling abound and running through airports, I am often asked if I was raised in the south due to my Tammy Flare.  I jokingly reply, “Well, you could say so.  I grew up in beautiful San Diego County.  That is in the south, you know!” 

    I am living each day as a treasured daughter who has embraced God’s grace, determined to leave a legacy of love through the realm of advocacy. Being a “Voice” for those who have lost theirs through the imprisonment of abuse and addiction, along with suffering from great trauma and violence, is an honor to glorify my Beautiful Jesus.

    My motto and the way I see it is:  There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name!

    Because the Lord turned my ashes (pain) into beauty, after 20 years working in the law profession combined with another seven years serving as a chaplain, obviously attending the law enforcement chaplaincy academy wasn’t enough academia, the Lord called me back to school.  College life is hard enough for a 20-year-old, much less a woman in her Fabulous 50s.

    I am proud to say I graduated Magna Cum Laude and am a lifetime honorary scholastic member of Alpha Lambda Delta while accomplishing my Bachelor’s of Science in Religion, with a minor in church ministries.  But… and I preface it with a big BUT… I am forever working on my Master’s of Divinity.  Some day!  I’m Grammy Tammy; doing everything backwards! 

    I know all too well the life application meaning of Philippians 4:13 at its finest:  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  So hard, but so rewarding!

    You will find quite often that I refer to myself as being “high maintenance” in my writings.  This “high maintenance” tag is just another lucid term I use to describe my pathetic Tammy Tantrum fits. Seeing a near six-foot-tall woman pout and cry hysterically explains my extreme need for time with my Lord. 

    I love my Jesus and when I find His radiance has taken a backseat to the cast-iron horns emerging from my head while flaming arrows are spewing out of my mouth (quite the visualization, huh?), initiating a meltdown consisting of toddler tantrums, I realize rather quickly my great need for my Goditude time; solitude time with my Papa God.

    Since I’ve been an advocate for those without a voice due to trauma and abuse, creating addictions and depression (all of which I have walked through myself), I understand the hurt, the loss and sorrow of a bleeding heart. I want to share with other Beloveds my story with a twist: Being an Advocate for the Word instead! 

    One great reason why I served on Folsom State Prison’s Inmate Family Council; everyone deserves to be loved and supported!

    We can all have many degrees, licenses and certifications too numerous to count and list, but my heart’s desire is to introduce God’s Great Love to everyone I encounter. If we could only understand that hurt people hurt others, we would be able to leave room for the concept that healed people heal also! 

    When you’ve become healed and transformed from a life filled with trauma and violence (yes, I’m a survivor of violent crimes), your engagement with others becomes an honor as you sojourn this side of heaven present.  Being able to lean into the very heartbeat of Jesus experiencing His heart and soul (mission) allows you to pour into others and speak words of life over them paving the way towards healing.

    How does one circle back through that trauma to organizing a nonprofit that served our homeless population for almost three years and then transitioned into the lives of our incarcerated with all the darkness and danger?

    Well, as Mother Theresa said, “I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper’s wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord Himself. Is it not a beautiful experience?”

    Hence, where the concept of “A Beautiful You” came from.

    That’s why I organized Blameless and Forever Free Ministries; it is built upon understanding that many of our incarcerated have suffered great trauma and violence themselves which doesn’t get addressed. We operate as Advocates and Ambassadors of Hope for restorative justice. 

    Restorative justice is responding to crime and violence in a way that transforms the focus through A.R.T.:  Shifting punishment to responsibility (Accountability), leaning into rehabilitation and restoration (Reintegration), leading to redemption (Transformation). 

    We believe all of mankind is created in God’s image; therefore, we are God’s masterpiece, His works of ART!

    The greatest gift I pray you take away is how much God loves you.  He loves it when we take the time to open up His Word and snuggle in tight learning about His nature, goodness and sovereignty.  He wants to pour healing into our hearts by speaking affirmations and truths. Cleaving and pressing into the Lord escorts us into the presence of what it’s like to be truly loved!  The worth and value is overwhelming; be-loved and be-valued and be-healed!

    Until next time…

    Connect with Chaplain Tammy at lovedshack.com.