“By the time a crime is committed and a victim is harmed, the root causes of that crime may have occurred long ago.” – District Attorney Kevin Barton
Recognizing the truth from what numerous scientific studies have established, along with countless medical professionals, that children who experience neglect, abuse, socioeconomic disadvantages and other forms of trauma are more likely to suffer from challenges such as mental illness, substance-abuse disorders and even physical health consequences.
This is called adverse childhood experiences, better known as ACEs.
And when we look at the men and women who are incarcerated in the U.S., they have the highest levels of trauma and abuse in their lives, and we put them in a system that was never designed to work with that history???
Transforming our prisons through trauma-informed care is essential for healing and wholeness and restored lives for all affected by crime.
What these eyes see now matters. Every life matters! If we want safer communities, then it’s time we start changing the narrative and start investing in people, not prisons.
Blameless and Forever Free Ministries’ mission is to break the cycle of crime while restoring broken lives through God’s Great Love infused with restorative justice practices and trauma-informed care.
Release and restore. A willingness to embrace discomfort is absolutely essential in being amazing ME!!!
And as long as I’m running after and worshipping other people’s approval, I will never accept myself. And as long as I never accept myself, I will never give anyone else a chance to accept me, know me, and love authentic ME!!!
Why can’t we just be?
When I’m trying to be in an approval-based relationship with everyone, it costs me myself and it means I can’t be in an acceptance-based relationship because I’m in a perpetual posture of rejecting myself, not accepting myself.
Darn it, I took the bait. Now my head is spinning as the fisherman is reeling me in.
That means I’m still a performance-based queen through my own acceptance-based fears!
That’s a hot mess…
Rejection could be for my protection, too; right?
Hard to shake off those old generational strongholds and insecurities I picked up during my own adverse childhood experiences and trauma.
We all need nurturing and belonging that clothes us with comforting connections. That’s why being authentic is so important; we won’t push others away with our insecurities and fears.
Sitting with our anxiety instead of avoiding it. No more running. It’s wasted energy. Being present is liberating! Let the awkward silence move through you.
Until we learn to actually accept ourselves, we’ll always be worshipping other people’s approval or disapproval, depending on if we’re compliant or defiant.
Why would we give another such power to control and devour?
Embracing discomfort is absolutely essential if we’re going to be ourselves and say yes to ourselves.
And I want to say “yes” to me; don’t you?
This shackling fear means we’re ALWAYS unwilling to experience the uncomfortable fear of rejection. It doesn’t always mean rejection will happen, it just means “I will feel rejection.”
I. Will. Feel. Rejection.
EVERYONE feels rejection from time to time…
And given that our self-preservation instincts tells us to stay as far away as possible from emotional pain; pain once felt from the fear of the hook, line and sinker which then released and flung us moving towards it, we became stronger and more resilient in our own acceptance.
So once I befriend and embrace the paralyzing pain delivered from the fear of rejection, it will turn this curse (fear) into blessings.
We can’t always be unwilling to experience the uncomfortable fear of rejection. We become resilient when we faith our fears and lean into it. It’s empowering.
And since my God created us in His image, with the royal blood running through our veins, it’s time to take a stand and embrace being Beautiful You with unique qualities that ONLY YOU AND I POSSESS and quit hiding and running from it.
The world NEEDS what only WE possess!!!
We hurt ourselves from trying to hide from emotional pain. Our self-preservation MAY SPEAK CONTRARY (get out of that hood), but all that’s done is rob us of the love and healing that God is waiting to pour into our lives being an overcomer.
Our Beautiful Jesus is our Christmas gift that keeps on giving and giving… 💝
When I feel I’m being approved, I have connection and belonging and an extra cup of confidence.
Connection nurtures, buffers storms by creating resilience and swaddles us tightly in our identity with Christ who alone transforms and restores.
Overcoming means we are no longer consumed by those hot tears of bitterness and rage springing up. We have more laughter than tears. More joy and less sadness. More resolve and less problems than our insecurities and fears ever birthed. More hope and less fear.
We are called APPROVED; and God is for us, not against us!
God was rejected and wounded by the unfaithfulness of His children over and over again. But His Relentless Love expressed in His pursuit to cover us with His Perfect Gift, He was wounded again by trading His Very Life for us, knowing that we may very well refuse His Great Love again and again and turn our backs!
That’s rejection at its finest, but that’s the God that we serve! He pursues over and over and over again. That’s the spark called hope!
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. – Desmond Tutu
That’s an unnatural act of Love; God’s Great Love, but we are His chosen and He continues to pursue us.
I want to love others like that.
Sit with me here…
Being vulnerable, we fear authenticity because as a child, there were times when we stepped into being our authentic selves, and we weren’t received or recognized for it. We were rejected. Shamed. Invalidated. Even abandoned or abused. Mocked! Not nurtured.
That hurt turned dark. It developed despair and discouragement that birthed depression and almost death. Every choice and behavior thereafter was triggered and built on the lies of rejection and anxiety.
Being laughed at and discarded while being authentic me has been my greatest trigger between my heart and others. And we wonder why I tried taking my own life 40 years ago?
We weren’t validated for it. Being ourselves. It might not get recognized, it may cause abandonment or worse, we will get invalidated when we are being ourselves.
But Perfect Love casts out all fear!
God’s Great Love brings people together who need others that will see them, hear them, hear their pain, and hear their heartbreak. Love wins every time!
And when we release our fears and become the restored beloveds God created and designed us to be, we become our authentic selves who are available to love on and embrace others who are struggling with the same issues.
The best things in life are oftentimes on the other side of fear. What’s holding you back? Fear of failure? Fear of change? Fear of being alone?
Join me as we run into 2021 celebrating being our authentic selves!!!