Category Archives: God’s Love

I’ll Hold You As Long As It Takes…

I’ll Hold You As Long As It Takes…

I stood there shocked in disbelief. Every single one of the doctor’s words spoken were unintelligible, framed in slow-motioned lip slices to this mama’s hemorrhaging heart.

When our world turns upside down AND implodes!

Hearing tragic news literally jolts your world. It scars and cuts like a knife. It shakes and rocks your world more violent than a 7.5 earthquake.

The doctor’s rushed encounter causes sheer terror. Extreme panic and shock sets in. Only divine and supernatural intervention can restore.

Your hands cup the disbelief along with salty tears released from the ducts of Hoover Dam. You collapse to the ground because your weight becomes too much to bear by yourself. 

As your body folds onto the cold cement floor of the E.R. doorway, your focus zooms to the feet scurrying by and the relentless, torturing, alarm sounds going off from medical devices sustaining lives triggering major PTSD.

Code Blue, Room 2!

The coolness from the floor can’t compete with what’s burning through your heart and mind.  The branding sears, “Code Blue, Room 2; Code Blue, Room 2.”

My mind races back 25 years as I cradle this beautiful blue-eyed baby boy with the sweetest white hair that I spiked up like Bart Simpson.

The joy this mama’s heart pondered hearing what a beautiful baby he was from those passing by; though their initial reactions were that he was a girl because he was such a beautiful porcelain-skinned doll. It didn’t matter, he was my beautiful baby.  He was God’s medical miracle.

Cradling him back and forth became a coping mechanism that would offer him comfort throughout his life.

Setting them free…

My beautiful blessings

Miracles…

I wish I could go back and hold him forever as I squish and caress his porky feet.

Only us mamas can appreciate our infatuations with our children’s feet.

Dislike feet?  Stinky and gross?

Me, too.  That is, until I gave birth to my children.

Suddenly two feet layered in Red Wings and blue slip covers slide into my uncharted pool of tears. I’m agitated because they’re occupying my “personal space,” even though I lay dormant on the hospital’s floor. 

After hearing repeated “Ma’ams,” this fully bearded, piercing dark eyes and haired man wearing a white kippah squats down and squares me right in the face. His lips begin to move, but I can no longer make sense of anything after the explosion of tragedy hit my brain.

I laid there comatose until his physical touch stroking my hair away from my face did my senses start to re-emerge.

He offers to help me up, but due to the paralysis from all the fear and dread and the lack of courage to face reality, he scoops me up into his arms instead and pulls me out of the deadly traffic jam in front of Trauma Room 2.

No sooner than hearing the beat of another’s heart, my eyes fell laser-focused onto the huge lifeless squishy feet hanging over the hospital gurney as many doctors and nurses were performing CPR, inserting tubes and IV’s into my lifeless blue son.

The adrenaline from the broken heart leaped me out of the chaplain’s arms and off the floor as loud battle cries from heaven wailed, causing the medical team to pull the curtain closed.

The chaplain catches me again, pulling me away from the room.

When your visualization is a lifeless baby boy, who may be 6’5″, but who is blue and not responding to medical attention being rendered, your eyes and mind focus intuitively on what’s outside the drawn curtain for survival. 

You frame each second onto the surroundings; his blood on the floor, the fluid bags and needle wrappings and the horrible sounds coming from the trauma team who is now holding your baby boy as long as it takes.

God’s Great Love reaches down to hold me tight through this amazing Jewish Chaplain named Joe. God comforts me through Joe saying, “I’ll hold you as long as it takes” along with scripture from Deuteronomy 31:6:

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God was faithful in sustaining me. His words are branded forever in my heart and mind, “I’ll hold you as long as it takes.”

And through a life that’s cleaved to those beautiful words, even when there hasn’t been an expected and good ending, I trust my Father God to pick me up and carry me through every tragedy and loss that comes my way.

As far as this 6’5″ baby boy, his striking blue eyes still pierce this mama’s heart with love and strong, yet tender, hugs. This day ended well!

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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Seek To Understand Before Seeking To Be Understood!

Blameless Seek To Understand

Seek To Understand Before Seeking To Be Understood! 

So hard when words from another hurt like hell.

Hi friends and family!  Our hearts and prayers go out to everyone who’s been affected by the tragedies in Gilroy, El Paso and Dayton. It seems that these hurt/sick people hurting others has turned into an evil epidemic seeing who can outkill one another.

When my son and I were talking about how these hate crimes and hurting individuals have changed the landscape of everyone’s lives, personally involved or not, it tapped into my own fears from being victimized reiterating how we’re all effected by these horrific crimes.

Right after talking with my son, I listened to a girlfriend’s deep pain from defeating and defaming words delivered by a coworker, feeling that no one defended her.

This brought up my own pain from the sting of what others have said and done recently that were still fresh.

Speaking honestly here, there’s a part of me who loves and walks out forgiveness emulating Jesus, but I would rather start ripping out these venomous tongues!  Words are destructive and often leave emotional wounds and scars unhealed.

I may be a follower of Jesus Christ, but I battle my own insecurities and fears just like everyone else. And after what we’ve witnessed through these heinous shootings, we need to choke this hate line and exhibit self-control with L-O-V-E, God’s Great Love.

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Life forces us to be many people with differing hats and images within seconds of each other.  Friends in need (homeless beloveds), incarcerated beloveds, along with you and I, we all have hurts, insecurities, brokenness and needs. We just react and respond to them differently.

I keep leaning into these beautiful words of Psalm 85:8.

“Now I’ll listen carefully for your voice
and wait to hear whatever you say.
Let me hear your promise of peace—
the message every one of your godly lovers longs to hear.
Don’t let us in our ignorance turn back from following you.”

Working with friends in need and the incarcerated and their families, one common denominator that is lacking is love and forgiveness; God’s Love, unconditional love. It is easy to hate and judge, especially after witnessing these deadly shootings, but feelings pushed down fester and will destroy.

Tragically, we’ve allowed our unhealed pain to turn into hate. Hurt people hurt others. Instead of communities with living, breathing people, we have become part of the problem hiding behind our screens. We are no longer a part of the solution.

Allowing pain to turn into hate, this great divide becomes a part of the problem and forfeits any solution.

Where’s the person to stand up and defend others when hateful words and evil actions are spoken of and acted out?

Where there are persistent hurts, evil will prevail.

I almost let paralyzing fear stop me from helping another in need yesterday. Our Lord loves it when we move out in faith. People need to encounter extensions of love and kindness being poured out.

Action helps change the impact on our futures, though.

How can we allow God to turn our emotional wounds into good like He promises in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it…”?

Our emotional wounds and bruises fall short in receiving help because only time and grace can process the pain.  Our bruises and pain take more than a quick click.

Blameless Being Understood

Emotional Hurts and Wounded Spirits

Looking back on some of my “most painful” life experiences, the sleepless nights, the tear-stained pillows, the anger and bitterness that developed because the people closest to me delivered nothing but betrayal and disappointment, and the torment in being abused and rejected, God’s Great Love came pouring out!

Our Beautiful Jesus always has a plan for redemption, but…

Amid my all-time lowest moments, and I’m talking crushed, shackled and bound, I’ve witnessed the miraculous power of healing, redemption, reconciliation and restoration. God uses both the good and the bad (Romans 8:28).

Without pain, there’s no healing. Without imprisonment, redemption couldn’t be experienced. If there’s no estrangement, then reconciliation isn’t possible. And without destruction, there’s no need for restoration.

Experiencing this blossoming, this growth, that constructs the very core of who we are and created to become is miraculous.

We just can’t allow ourselves to be defined through this prison of pain.

We Are The Product Of Every Decision

Every day of our lives, we get the opportunity to respond to everything that crosses our path. By remembering that Someone (God) believes we are good enough in their eyes and that we don’t have to measure up to anyone to be loved should usher us into confidence. There’s nothing we can do to be loved more or loved less. It’s a gift to just receive.

Being utilized as a bridge that meets others in their struggles and a source of support and encouragement for building community is a part of the solution. Everything we do today matters. Our impact matters. It effects today and our future.

Seeking to understand others before seeking to be understood will help terminate hate. Let’s be proactive parts to the solution. Forgiveness is a great decision that leads to love!

Blameless Bridge Between Past and Future

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

 

Emerging From Caves Of Intimidation

When Speaking The Truth Hurts! 

Hi, family and friends, and cliques/clicks!  Being barricaded and isolated in our caves of hiding is daunting!  Is someone bullying you?  Gossiping about you?  Judging you?  Persecuting you?

How about expecting conformity in a Stepford Christian Clique/Click? 

My lack of conformity and refusal to live out the clique/click demands while standing for Truth and change caused me to be ostracized.

Ouch… 

No matter how you look at it, it hurt! 

Since I’m bold and courageous (generally), and love my Jesus, I tend to stir up controversy…

A lot!!! 

But the Truth sets us free, right?

Adversity ushers in promotion.

Being Bold Stirs Up Controversy

With cliques/clicks controlling power, people don’t have to go very far these days admitting defeat, they just hit the delete button without much thought of a salutary dismissal, a goodbye, a see ya, or kiss our assets. 

Those actions belong in hell! 

Where’s the love of Jesus there? 

Is church membership a do-or-delete click/clique?

If our relationships, families and congregations are ruled by cliques/clicks, how is that representative of Christ? 

It’s not!!!

Even Jesus condemned the Scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy in Matthew 23:1-12 for not practicing what they preach.

Many people say they follow Christ, but they don’t live by Jesus’ standard of Love.  Cliques/clicks don’t embrace others.

If God is a God of justice, and He is, then as His ambassadors and representatives, how can we blindly continue to overlook these actions without waging war? 

How do we teach and equip our children and grandchildren with the tools necessary to recognize the subtleties of evil?

Rejection may be our Protection…

But that doesn’t mean the pain afflicted doesn’t sting during the school of pain.

Being image bearers of Jesus Christ requires our actions to be centered around Love, His Love, that glorifies Him because we are made in His likeness. 

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It’s hard when our voices have been cut and restrained because we took a stand for the Truth.  Remembering Whose we are and belong to will validate our true worth and value as we embrace our identity proclaiming our uniqueness with royal blood running through our veins.

Who thought being in a cave of intimidation required boldness and courage while being bound, but exiting our caves to do wilder things for Jesus is quite daunting. 

Ephesians 6:10-17 proclaims, as image bearers, we were designed and created to wage war against the spiritual forces of evil, to push back the powers of darkness.

Voice of Truth vs. Curse of Deception

Gullibility and being easily deceived is where we have to take a stand by knowing what the Word says.  Allowing cliques to exist that deny fellowship/community because of race, age, marital status and/or conformity, we are partaking in the increase of the curse of deception.

Jesus extends open arms, not barricaded circles. 

Choose Love!

God’s asking us to trust Him.  Are we willing to step out in wild faith and wage war by allowing Him to clothe us in a new wardrobe of courage and strength? 

Or will we just retreat back into hiding?

Backlash and retaliation will be met with the roars of heaven as we boldly position ourselves for battle.  No more backing down.  If faith didn’t require sharpened swords, persevering through the great unknowns would not require fierce battle cries. 

We can’t become desperate.  Let’s believe God will not only come through, but expect Him to show up and show off in His own spectacular way.  God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or could imagine, according to His power within us (Ephesians 3:20), so… 

What happened to being that valuable person God designed us to be with our own unique qualities that only we possess?

Community is built on uniqueness, not conformity!

Are we seeking the approval of others or God? 

The approval of others is not only an intoxicating idol, it entices us to turn away from God through deception.

Do we hide from the truth and run with flags of hate when we become challenged with the truth?

Dwelling in the shelter of the Almighty opens our hearts to so much more during stillness.  We realize that God knew us long before we were born or even conceived.  He thought about us and even planned for us.

So when we’re feeling discouraged and inadequate, leaning into God’s Word, sweet friend, reminds us how we’ve always been thought of as valuable.  We’re God’s treasured masterpiece, and He has so much more in store for us. These promises bring hope for tomorrow and strength for today.

Love is patient and kind.  It does not dishonor others or is easily angered.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13).

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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Truth or Dare?

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Who Holds The Key To Your Love Lock?

He Dared…

I Wanted Truth!

He never even looked twice…

We’ve all been weakened by incoming kryptonite (hotness) when our desire and need to be loved is so intense, it clouds, distorts and even destroys what love actually looks like.

We become delusional, even fanatical, of what Love really is. Our actions start mirroring conduct similar to the Energizer bunny demanding “Love me, love me, love me” right into the sunset.

Can I hear awkward?

We become so desperate for love, that we get right in its face and proclaim, “What about me? I need to be seen, to be desired, TO BE LOVED!”

To Be or Not To Be?

To be or not to be, that is the question.  Literally!

Is love a feeling or an action?

Selfish, worldly love says love is a feeling (fleeting), not a selfless act.  In truth, love is a decision/choice to act.

We Get To Love…

God gave, and gave so freely (John 3:16).

What happens when Romeo is on the horizon and you have lived in your head for so long watching “your script,” that the frames of reality don’t match up with the projection you see?

Here your moment finally shines TO BE, but you blind him with all your preconceived fanatics as to how love is supposed to be. 

That delectable fantasy where you’re expecting to be seen, to be embraced, to be swept literally off of your feet as you’re twirled about and kissed passionately being ever-so-desired is nowhere to be found!

That’s when he runs right past you without even as much as a hint of a raised eyebrow or the infamous nod saying, “What’s up?”

Hello!!!  Can I hear Rejection for our Protection?

The bulk of our sulk engages in a pity party for ONE!  No one is invited to be a part of our drunk and funk wrapped tightly around our gallon of Haagen-Dazs ice cream and Butterfinger shavings. That’s a Blizzard, baby!

Then regurgitated liquid pain announces its arrival between spilled over salty tears from chasers of Tequila (To-Kill-Ya) and the crime of the lime removing all blinders and resounding reminders of…

…we are loved more than we will ever know by Someone who died to know us (paraphrasing Romans 5:8).

I have hung a love lock or two in my lifetime, but only one remains. Knowing that someone was willing to die JUST TO KNOW ME, well, that is the one Who holds my heart key and where my heart is devoted. The One who will never LEAVE ME nor FORSAKE ME!

Blameless Locked Up Heart

Love is always flowing and always changing!

Love is an action.  It affords us with a choice.  Since it’s fluid, we get to make the decision to love and to receive.  Love is “TO BE” that love.  To be requires action with a decision.  We have the choice to act and to receive.

Dare…

To Be The Love!

When love is to be, love will never fail!  I dare you to LOVE!  Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy. Love is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its way and forgives (so hard!). Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends (1 Corinthians 13:1-8).

Have we romanticized love so much that we forgot love is an action and not a feeling?

Love is “To Be” that Love

When I start demanding I need to be loved, that is my trigger screaming I am lacking intimacy with my Lord. God designed us to be loved, but primarily by Him meeting our every need first.  

We are much better spouses, present and available friends when we know and walk in His Great Love. We’re less needy, selfish and demanding…

When You Need To Be Loved

I’m the first to admit that I’m needy for love; God’s love! I need to hide myself in my Lord’s Love often so my love tank can be full.

After all, like Augustine said, “God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.” Now, that’s the liquid courage and LOVE needed for every day!

Blameless Animated Heart

When I’m falling into the pits of depression, discouragement and doubt, I go to passages and pray them out loud… “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul” (Psalm 143:8).

Knowing I am loved by someone who died to know “just me,” what a shot of confidence and boost of courage to face each and every day.

We get to be loved!

 

 

Next time you need “To Be Loved,” be that love first!

Until next time…

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Clothe Yourselves With…

Blameless Don't Get Dressed Without It

Why Is Being Patient and Kind So Exhausting?

As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity (Colossians 3:12-14).

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I knew better.  The lies!  I was exhausted and accosted.  I didn’t feel humble.  I sat there ready to crumble.  My patience was beyond tested and my heart arrested.  I went from “THE FAVORITE” to being rejected “INDEFINITELY.”

Indefinitely???

All because my “life-line” (cellphone) access was nonresponsive for over four hours.

Four hours, really?

Who cares it was due to surgery.

Four hours???

I have a 24-hour rule; thank you!

God forbid, the power of cliques (and clicks).  Rejection was my protection for not fitting in the clique mold because I clothe myself with…

Their ricocheted venom!!!

I’m your worst fear;

I’m your favorite! 

My patience and gentleness must have also been surgically removed because my claws wanted vengeance and I wanted it right then and there!

Scorned?

Pretty much!

Being subjected to the power of cliques (clicks), both literally and figuratively, opened my eyes AGAIN to how subtle evil creeps into our lives, relationships, jobs and our churches.

Christian Cliques/Clicks Want Conformity and Convenience!

Are we only as important to the demands and conformity in our Christian cliques/clicks?

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Will we mourn the death of our Christian clicks/cliques long enough to break through the fear of missing out in order to be different, authentic, present and loving?

Sick or click???

I thrive loving on others and being kind to the ungrateful and wicked” (usually…), but when the constant sting of slander and persecution latches on like a leech sucking the very life out of me, I find myself unable to grab ahold of that venomous snake and bite its head off and spit it into the fire.  Instead, I allow the wounds of the ricochet to continue assaulting my heart.

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We know better than to give the enemy any more haunting power, so why do we allow the sting from others’ judgment to keep us wrapped up replaying the lies over and over?

That’s wasting precious time where I should have been healing and not at war, but… 

Outwardly, I was being Godly by forgiving their actions, but inwardly, I was roaring like a lion and it was devouring my own flesh from the inside out. 

I could no longer shake off this leech effect (viper) that latched on to extend kindness and forgiveness like Paul did in Acts 28:1-6 when the superstitious islanders cast judgment waiting for him to swell up and die. 

Sound familiar?

It’s hard to shake off the venomous actions of others and let it go when we’re isolated from communal support.  Clicks/cliques can’t deliver the support we need when our hearts need to be held, they only add insult to injury. 

Lives laid down in love and service deliver comfort and compassion.

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Being naturally a people pleaser, I find myself often in a tug of war trying to emulate our Lord in Psalm 103:8; being slow to anger.  I love being different, so I must take a stance against these cliques/clicks because society tells us our demise is just a click/clique away.

Presence Requires Transparence!

I’m choosing to be a “present beloved” who puts on love everyday.  Someone who isn’t easily distracted.  That’s hard with all the demands vying for our attention and the blood-sucking leeches.  And with my lack of social media precedence, it offends many because the affirmations of the “likes/clicks” esteems their identity and worth.

Isn’t a person’s physical presence more valuable and precious than clicks/cliques? 

We all want intimacy… 

God knows what we’re going through and thinking.  He desires that we’ll lean into Him and release the vengeance so He can pour peace and healing into us.  He reminds us, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

Sometimes that is sooooo very, very hard to do… 

Especially when God isn’t reactive!

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Are we making present, loving, authentic connections filled with compassion, humility and gentleness?

Do Christian cliques/clicks allow us to just be and receive?

Clicks/cliques want conformity, not uniqueness and authenticity…

I pray this connection of patience, kindness and forgiveness is something my children and grandchildren will walk out in their lives because vengeance belongs to God.

I’m choosing to let God vindicate my pain!

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20). 

Until next time…

Thank You For Being Beautiful You!

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Rejection Is Merely A Redirection!

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God Selects What Man Rejects!

Are you feeling rejected? 

Maybe you’re being redirected!

We’ve all experienced rejection! Rejection often hurts like hell! Rejection develops insecurities leading to impurities. Impurities lead to isolation. Isolation leads to depression. Some of us even wallow in rejection and remain hollow. Some bolt and revolt.

But when was the last time we stopped long enough to realize that maybe, just maybe, this rejection we’re encountering is nothing short of God redirecting our lives? We are, after all, created and designed in His image to be His masterpiece and work of art!

Blameless Rejection

This Woman…

Has fought a thousand battles,

But is still standing…

Has cried a thousand tears. Probably closer to a million,

But is still smiling…

This Woman…

Has been broken and left unspoken…

Has been betrayed and left afraid…

Has been abandoned and left branded…

Has been orphaned and left without fortune…

Has been abused and bruised…

Has been rejected and redirected…

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But This Woman…

Still walks boldly while wearing her crown…

Insists on being different…

Laughs loud reaching the clouds…

Lives without fear and loves to cheer…

Loves without doubt…

This woman is beautiful…

This woman is humble and ready to rumble…

This woman is courageous and it’s often contagious…

This woman is treasured beyond measure…

This Woman Is M-E!

Blameless Pointing Finger

Yes, Y-O-U…

♥♥♥

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Let your love for God change the world, but never let the world change your love for God!

Blameless Love The World With God's Love

Being Unique Doesn’t Stink!

Change takes Courage…

Courage over Comfort…

Courage breeds Confidence…

Confidence takes Chances…

Chances offer Celebrations…

Celebrations deliver Connection…

Connection contributes to Community!

Communities who connect, contribute and celebrate delivers change!

May we never forget that once upon a time what we once perceived as being rejected might very well have been God’s way of protection while grabbing us by the bit to redirect our stubborn fits!!!

Can I hear an Amen along with the ahem?

Take a moment, Treasured Masterpiece, to look into our Beautiful Jesus’ tear-stained face. In all your distress, He too was distressed. And in His Great Love and tender mercy, He redeemed you. Now that’s love worth celebrating!

Until next time…

Blameless Beautiful You

 

I Cried When I Was Denied…

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I Cried When I Was Denied…

But I Never Died!

The morning coffee buzz from being drunk on too much caffeine, along with the clanging plates from the waitresses rushing to cater to every need, drowned out the sobering convulsions conveyed from the beaten and burned beloved.

From rejected to accepted!

Cigarette burns and bruises to any part of your body is considered torture and abusive!

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Somebody is always listening…

If truth be told, I prefer my morning brew in the comforts of my own home, preferably in bed, along with my morning devotional time spent at my Lord’s feet opening up my Bible.  The sounds from Mr. Owl chiming in with his whoot-whoots as the orchestra of frogs rib-bit out a beat or two in sync with the birds’ melody who excitedly embrace their new day is more than a welcomed sound.

Today was different, though!  Tuesdays we do a Bible study for the homeless beloveds that would like to know how to experience this great love affair trusting and waltzing with the Lord after being abused myself.  I am writing this Bible study called God’s Great Love Changes Everything specifically catered to our homeless! 

After only receiving a couple of RSVPs for tonight’s study and the constant complaints delivered from being cold due to the night’s rain, chocolate chip pancakes and hot coffee seemed to be the menu topic initiated in a community text message about where dinner would be.  This quickly ushered us into meeting at iHop for breakfast along with the Bible study in lieu of dinner. 

Dinners are a rare luxury for the homeless population and Blameless is one of the few organizations that offers hot dinners twice a week.  Usually only breakfast and sack lunches are offered at shelters and churches, so I knew there was a great need behind this need for a breakfast meeting.

Blameless Need Behind Need

Between the noise, we settled in tight as the girls started peeling off their damp scarves and jackets to get warm.  I hadn’t noticed the bruises and lacerations on one beloved until she removed her many layers hiding more than emotional turmoil.  Once the injuries were in full view, I knew we needed intervention to figure out the best protocol to approach this behavior. 

Homeless women tend to be associated with domestic violence encounters because they’re used to living under the fight and flight mentality as a form of protection, no matter how distorted that may appear.  Having a buddy for comfort and protection helps fend off other violent attacks against the homeless along with assurances that their few bags of possessions will still be nearby when they awaken.  But the cost is often great!

This precious beloved shared how she just wanted to be held and comforted because she didn’t end up getting to talk to her son, who had promised to call her over the weekend.  This mama totally understands the love our children cover us with and the rejection that might follow. 

She shared how much she loved her son, but that she was so wrapped up tight living under her own veil of shame and living in the wrong hood (battlefield of the mind), that she just decided to pity party her own disappointment.

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If you’ve ever lived under the demands of abuse, you find yourself living, or surviving, under the confines of mental anguish.  Instead of seeing this pain as a process (a wake-up call to get out), you find it accepting as a permanent residence because you become isolated due to shame with no one to help you get up or out. 

You cried when you were denied, but since you never died, you become quite familiar and comfortable in the most horrid conditions.  When you live in darkness, being out in the light is frightening and quite startling.  Initially…

I shared with the girls how my pain turned into power when I realized that facing this Goliath of fear walking through it scared as hell was the only way to unlock the shackles.  The key was that it would take others to help pick me up each time I fell.  No more isolation. 

Taking baby steps ended the life being subjected to the multitude of abusers while living a life loved and yes, helping others.  That meant acting and living like who God says we are; His works of art! 

We cannot allow this process, being homeless and/or abused, to become our permanent spot.  Engaging in pity parties, having the mindset of a victim and denier, announces the need to break free from the toxicity of this environment. 

Yes, living a life filled with an outpouring of love and peace will be awkward and quite uncomfortable at first, but it will offer us freedom, along with our own tear-stained pillows and soft embrace from the protection and warmth that our own cozy blankets offer. 

I am choosing to honor my Lord by honoring the beloveds He has placed in my life.  I know the Lord will show me how to love others the way in which He loves me so that our faith will grow stronger and deeper in our hearts as we learn to trust in Him.

Until next time…

Thank You For Being

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