Will You Be My
♥ Valentine, Be-loved! ♥
Hi Beautiful! For many of us, Valentine’s Day can surface many emotions than just loneliness and despair; it can also trigger anger and bitterness that surfaces from the deep and hidden recesses of our hearts that have been buried due to losses occurring from unfulfilled “expectations” caused through the rejection in our relationships. That word “expectations” causes so much grief to begin with and it extinguishes the ability to love others for who they are and where they are at, but that will have to wait for another book I would like to write someday. But when we read scripture such as Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart,” we wonder what one is supposed to do when that desire is a longing to feel loved, to be touched, and to truly embrace love the way God designed it!
Oh, sister, I understand and know those pangs all too well myself. Having been broken and devastated through the effects of encountering one husband in an adulterous affair with my best friend while another husband not embracing me AT ALL as his beloved wife through the channels of deceit, I can share sadly through experience what is happening all too often in today’s sanctified union of marriage between a husband and wife. Even though I may speak against divorce, having visited divorce myself and suffered the pain and scars from the ugly consequences, I will not turn my back on my sisters out there who are going through this “damaging pain” by sweeping it underneath the rug through the actions of outcast or by not supporting those through love and encouragement.
I went through this pain as a daughter of the Most High alone because, for one, I was too embarrassed to share what was going on, much less seek Godly counsel because of everyone’s judgment and condemnation exhibited through their outward facades of being “perfect.” It is our responsibility to help each other tap into the Source and Strength that lies there just waiting to be delved in to receive the guidance towards the resources that may help claim victory; if nothing else, uphold their self-worth and dignity as a woman! We can never give up or turn our backs!
Divorce might offer a temporary solution, but it is not a cure for all the deep and hidden hurts that lie within because of it. This takes much prayer, time, and communication that requires other sisters to walk alongside of us for power and the strength to help us see things we otherwise might not have thought about. That requires a humble heart! The pain we go through is real, it is tangible, and it is such a real force with devastating effects within the body of Christ, it spews out and effects innocent bystanders while negating our fulfillment and our duty in supporting and encouraging each other. We need to talk about these issues because they are dividing the church and sharing with the world that “Christians” are hypocrites! It makes the enemy very happy to see distressed and depleted Beloveds!
Jesus had no problem talking to the Samaritan woman who was an outcast in society that He met at the well that was forced to wait and draw water during the hottest part of the day so she wouldn’t be subjected to the jeers from other women. Talk about shame! This was all due because she had been married five (5) times and was currently living with another man while not being married (John 4). She obviously had more courage than I to have even tried marriage five times; so kudos for her tenacity at never giving up on love! That’s repeated heartache over and over again, not to mention the heartache she received from the ugly comments from other women who should have been loving on her and walking alongside of her! Jesus graciously offered her, though, something nobody else would offer her; that is, “time, affirmation, and love.” This is what the body of Christ is supposed to emulate: Jesus’ life through unconditional love, not slammed doors and shameful gossip! If only we would love more and judge less, I wonder how many marriages would have survived or even less battle scars.
Come on, Sistas, Jesus did not come to reside with mankind just to save us from our sins so we could be reconciled to God, which is something I am so eternally grateful for, but He came to dwell with humanity so He could set an example for us to follow while experiencing firsthand the pain and emotions that develop through the battle scars of trials and tragedies that we all go through. This was so He could relate and identify with us while loving us all at the same time. Wow, God gave up so much just to have a relationship with us. This is why God gave us the Bible. Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection could never be explained to us if we did not have the Bible or believe in its contents. We need to know the Truths about Jesus so we’re not only set free, but so we can start representing God the way Jesus commands us to: through love (1 John 3:16 and Galatians 5:1), while sharing with others what we’ve been through! This is community, which is called the “church.”
The Lord God Almighty gave us His Word, the Bible, which is the infallible and historical account written by men, yet inspired through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Since it is God’s special revelation to His children that consists of 66 incredible books filled with written authority announcing God’s plan and purpose for all of mankind, along with God’s attributes and how and why man was made in the image of God (Genesis 1), one cannot fully understand the Lord or His ways without studying the Bible and reading the beautifully written words of His love story to us.
God gave us the Bible to draw us in and near, so we would have something tangible to touch, to go to, to question, to seek, to read, to listen to, to be instructed, to apply, and to be guided through the written communication that overflows from the different people, the different personalities, and the different scenarios presented in the Bible. These books in the Bible are written for us to use as examples for help and shed light to how God engaged and dealt with His people when they were hurting by loving on them and healing them like the Samaritan woman or through examples of the effects of being disobedient through storms, plagues and even war. Through the many diverse topics and personalities in the Bible, it covers every imaginable affliction and personality type sharing how to live morally acceptable lives through God’s laws and how to deal with the ugly effects of hot topics such as gossip, divorce, or how to push through the pain of loneliness in being alone through patience and healing as we await for that love to arrive!
In order to bravely receive healing during our waiting period with hurting hearts, we need to know the Word, apply the Word, and let our witness reflect what the Word says! I challenge you to read and reflect on a couple of these passages of scripture this week: John 13:27-38, which is about how God’s love can change your life’s outcome; 1 John 4:8-10, which touches on what motivates God’s love for us; and Ephesians 3:16-19 that really testifies how deep and wide the Lord’s love is. We need to become better acquainted to what “love” really is and requires. Love isn’t selfish and expects, it takes a lot of surrendering to love God’s way!
There is also a beautiful love story that is arrived at through the means of patience (1 Corinthians 13) and hard work all for the blessings of true love found between Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29. This is a man we all would love to receive the lifetime companionship of. He was a hard-working man who loved his woman so much, he not only was willing to work seven years just for her hand in marriage, but due to the betrayal of his father-in-law in complying with the customs of the day (what a man, betrayal from your in-laws and he still pursued her), he continued to work another seven years for payment in full for the love that all movies are made of. But their marriage was not without problems, his betrayal marriage to Leah first who bore him several sons, and his beloved’s own conduct that reared its ugly head. He worked a total of twenty-one years under his father-in-law’s control and he forever loved Rachel. Need I say anymore! You can read Jacob and Rachel’s love story found in Genesis 29 through 35.
Jacob’s love was patient and while he waited, he worked. He waited to embrace the love of the woman he desired, and seven years seemed like only days to him because he didn’t sit around and sulk! That’s a man worth waiting for, right? Take your heartache and embrace the fulfillment that only the Lord can give you. He may be wanting a love affair with you first just so He can prepare you for the blessings of the love that you otherwise might have overlooked due to all the pain you’ve been through.
Beloveds, I know what it’s like to desire the experiences of “earthly love” and want that “forever after,” but sometimes when we keep repeating the same cycles of abuse and betrayal, etc., maybe we need to realize that God is asking us to have a love affair with Him for a while so He can purge that deeply recessed hurt in our hearts caused by the actions of others and our own choices. By allowing that “ugly” that needs healing itself to break the cycle that has consumed us and entangled us in this web of destruction for far too long is worth the love affair the Lord offers us. This pain doesn’t just effect us, it spews out onto those that not only love us, but are innocent victims in all this mess and a byproduct of it. God is offering us the freedom to experience what real love is if only we’ll put down our facades and come to Him humbly with a childlike heart to receive His healing grace and instructions for blessings that He desires to bestow upon each of His children. This requires throwing out the “Control Freak” syndrome and all your preconceived “Expectations” and allowing God to refine and heal you. God does not correct us or discipline us like the world does, He offers us love and encouragement through strength and endurance for the beautiful change and it’s up to us to apply this instruction ourselves to receive His healing graces. Oh, how beautiful we truly are once we realize it!
I used to approach my struggles through shame, guilt and embarrassment because I didn’t want others to know I was hurting; a life lived of deception and lies! Why was I so scared to be real and transparent about the afflictions that had ensnared me? Pride! The evil of all sins! We are to be real, announce our deep and dark secrets to Him through “real” Godly friendships so we can be covered through compassion and understanding that we all fall short of; but through the grace of God and His loving mercies, we can walk through our paths filled with pain with our head held high knowing we are loved and cherished by the Lord God Almighty and it will be through His stripes that we are not only healed (Isaiah 53:5), but by being real and transparent, which is honesty and not a lie, we will allow our healing to happen simultaneously while bringing comfort to those who are going through the same afflictions.
Girlfriends, I hate to boast and brag on this pathetic acknowledgement, but I want to be that voice that screams in your ears telling you to keep cleaving and pressing into the Lord for victory! Ha! Yes, I get my point out through animated images!!! Seriously, I’ve been through every imaginable affliction just about any person could go through and that’s sad, but I survived. How? I will only brag on the grace of God I received through the strength that enabled me to endure. It was horrible and I never want to experience it again. It’s time for me to dance! But let me share with you why I’m so passionate about sharing.
Let’s rally together and love on each other while we’re hurting; that’s what Jesus did. I want to be held accountable for my actions when I fail through love because, for one, I’m only human and I will make mistakes; but two, how else am I going to learn if someone isn’t there to help pick me up when I fall; and I expect the same throughout my friendships and communities I partake in. Life is short and we are here to help each other make it through the finish line, not just push us there or drag us there kicking and screaming.
We are to love, to exhort, to encourage one another each and every day that we run this race while reminding each other of Jesus’ love. Woe to us for judging, for being critical, for being anything but loving and supportive. It is Valentine’s Day and there are plenty of us who will spend the day crying, spend the day daydreaming and fantasizing about our preconceived “expectations,” who will spend the day denying, in wishing we were loved, even spend the day in spite and anger all because of pain afflicted due to the evilness in the world and through our own expectations. We can’t run and we can’t deny evil, it is real and it is running rampant; but what we can do is become the warriors and women for Christ that God admonishes us to become so we can help each other get through the various trials and tragedies that life throws at us.
We will be surprised at the power received when two or more are gathered together praying for the will and blessings of God to be poured out of the storehouse and bestowed on us here and now (Matthew 18:19-20), and how quickly we become victorious because we reached out and became real and threw out that deception (you know, not hurting when we really are, which is sin); and embracing the real women with real hurts trying to hang on through the love and power of God that other Sistas share with us. If you want to understand God’s love, just read Ephesians 3:17-19. There’s no measurement to His love, and that’s why He wants us to share with others and not isolate.
The only way we can navigate through this life is by knowing the Truths found in the Word of God and by applying these Truths to our lives. If we leave God out of the equation, I’m sorry to inform you with Truths, but it’s going to be brutal and it’s not going to lead you to the victory you think should be applied to your life. Not to mention how painful and long the suffering will be!
Open His Word; know His Word; let the Lord penetrate deep into those hurting recesses of your heart and let Him bring healing. God is your source of Love and He is your Valentine. Embrace Him; acknowledge Him; let Him in; He desires to occupy your hurting spaces and there is nothing to run or hide from, He knows everything. He just wants you to acknowledge His love by allowing Him to reside in your heart! Let Him bring healing; let Him occupy your hurting places so healing can begin. It’s the most rewarding and empowerment you could ever imagine while living each and every day. He wants you to have the desires of your heart, He put them there; hello!!! He just might be bringing that special someone down the road, but you must be ready to embrace that kind of love that only He can give you! Don’t push away His blessings or be afraid to pick them up like I have done for so many years. He knows you by name, acknowledge Him and get to know Him through His loving Words He wrote just for you in His Holy Bible! He loves you like no one else does!
God is asking you, “Beloved, will you accept this rose this Valentine’s Day and be Mine? Will you accept MY rose? I love you just the way you are! Let me in and travel through this journey by accepting the free gift of true love I offer you with no hidden “expectations” or agenda except being loved just the way you are.” I love you, my Beloved! Don’t you ever forget that!