Living With Addiction

Performance-Based Beloveds

† Freedom To Just Be †

Day 23 of 40

Hello Beautiful, I have missed you!  I am so excited to get back into the swing of writing again.  My demanding advocacy trial prevailed with astounding victory, and I cannot wait to share how God severed so many of my own fears fighting for the justice of others!  Amazing how it all ties into the dysfunctional strongholds of addiction and abuse.  Being a voice for justice allowed my bifocals to taste and see the goodness of the Lord!

The last Tammy Tangent Tuesday’s challenge required finding a new friend or taking an old relationship to an even deeper level of intimacy by sharing locked up hurts that have held us captive and fearful along with learning the delicate art of listening; the many blessings found in drawing near to God, called True Friendships.  It’s that time again; it’s Tammy Tangent Tuesdays! 

If you’re anything like me, living a life in front of an audience of one is anything but exhilarating and satisfying.  Now that my big advocacy trial has been victoriously battled (and here I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could relax and breathe), my distorted behaviors in being a performance-based Beloved demands recognition through the acceptance and affirmation of a sold-out auditorium.  I need an audience to survive and thrive!  Hello…

What happens when the intensity of our dance or trials are over and we are still standing tall with our crowns secure, hands on hips, but there are no more challenges to pursue, roaring mouths to shut or battles to conquer?  If we don’t have to perform, how can we still be loved?

I don’t know about you, but being a performance-based Beloved is all I’ve ever known for over 50 years.  Living and existing in the calm, peaceful and ordinary is quite daunting, not to mention it carries feelings of inadequacy and even a tad-bit guilty and lonely because the audience is no longer filled to capacity with members of demands, chaos and crises.

Sadly, when we’re used to an audience full of demanding deadlines, jeering seats of shame, guilt and performance, dancing to an audience of one, One who is more lovable and accepting than the non-pretentious bear, can seem downright silly, not to mention boring and lacking stimuli.  Or is it?

Do we really need an audience to perform to in order to establish our worth and value or even be loved?  How are we going to learn about ourselves or God unless we take the time to be still, process and poured into while being loved on?

For all of us Beloveds who live and/or have existed under a performance-based religion, please understand one thing:  God loves us just the way we are and we do not have to perform to be loved by Him. 

We are so quick to create our own dramatic stories designed merely to stimulate and entertain our own distorted anxiety-filled neighborhoods.  We feel guilty when our day is not full of demands and appointments.  We feel inadequate and less important so we create stress just to breathe guilt-free!  The amount of time we spend feeding our Negative Nancy Neighborhoods (mindsets) robs us of our nourishment in being restored and rejuvenated.

This quiet time is what God designed as rest that ALL BODIES need and require to maintain as His Beautiful Beloveds and bring light to a darkened world.  God relaxed on the seventh day and if He needs a break, we need seasons of rest!  What does that look like?  I don’t know because I’m walking through it right now myself and I feel quite uncomfortable.  

God shares, “Daughter of Mine, I did not ask you to be there or do that.  Relax, I just want your time.  Quit feeling the need to be busy.  Relationships take time getting to know one another.  How else are we going to learn to waltz together?  That requires trust that only intimacy and devotion can develop.”

Let me share one little tidbit of wisdom here through my own struggle.  Living a life filled with peace and contentment, dancing to our own audience of One as a child of Love and Approval (the Lord God Almighty), this is the greatest waltz and love story we’ll ever encounter this side of heaven so let’s treasure it.  Gifts from God that are so easily discounted and not even opened!

If you’ve been begging and pleading for rest through prayer like me; then girlfriend, God has answered our prayers and we are worthy to receive this gift!  Embrace it with honor!  It is a free gift from Love Himself!  Let Him love on you!

Who knows, you could even find yourself trying a new Pirouette instead of the typical Plié like me as you waltz through life because God is the only One watching.  Isn’t that how we learn new techniques for the upcoming dance anyways?  God loves to teach us new dance moves when we’re without agenda and just be!!! 

Either way, you will waltz with dignified grace and extend and position your beautiful self to receive one standing ovation after another.  Dancing with and for the Lord is the only audience you need to please.  It is so simple!  He only asks you to listen and be, Beautiful You. 

Weekly challenge:  Let’s practice this week being our beautiful selves; reminding ourselves that we don’t have to perform to be loved by God.  He simply wants us to just be, Be-loved and Be-Healed, while embracing His audience of One!

Until next time…