When You Have Been Abused, Abandoned and Rejected, What Is Next?
Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love. Ephesians 5:1-2 ~ Live, Laugh, Love
Today was the day I decided to take complete power back and away from my abusers by talking about it. They no longer rule or have any power through their threats of shame over my heart. I was hoping that the love found through healthy communication mirroring 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 in being patient and kind, keeping no record of wrongs while not being easily angered, would bring some sort of fresh resolution or even repentance through changed behavior, but…
Someone has to stop generational strongholds of abuse in order to bring justice. That requires awareness of behaviors and COMMUNICATION as we faith the fear. Investing precious time into our relationships not only shows love, but it also revives honor.
This is why I love running to my Bible for guidance because I need calm over chaos. I refuse to exist in that world anymore. I want to be more like my loving Savior so I can learn to love better and forgive easier. Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love. I choose to live this way the best I can because Love sees through the lens of Truth! I choose to live, laugh and love much while others live in rage and bitterness.
Being imitators of God that Ephesians 4:29-32 states is hard. It means to try not letting any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths (especially when we’re upset), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Discounting a person’s voice is not only disrespectful, but where’s the love in that?
Communication takes at least two voices, right? Well, unless you’re living in the wounded warrior world, that world-of-one torment that engages in battle with thyself and rips your opponent apart in your mind and exhausts you like any real battle would! All that does is exposes our hearts by holding us captive in our cells of hell filled with nothing but rage and bitterness. No wonder we’re angry people. It also prohibits us from being present because we’re always present in the wrong neighborhood.
I’ll share an excerpt of what my last wounded warrior world was like next time! It’s sad, but we also have to laugh at times at how we destroy ourselves and waste valuable energy. Here the honey bees with the stingers say, “If we’re going to die, we’re taking you down with us.” Who needs the enemy’s affliction; we destroy ourselves by cultivating the hurt that is brewing inside our hearts. We need to be kind to ourselves.
My speaking coach/mentor challenged me to narrow my writing and speaking skills towards the passion that ignites me to work tirelessly starting up my nonprofit organization, Blameless and Forever Free Ministries. My heart’s desire and hope is to help meet the needs of those who are hurting by building a bridge between church and state for the oppressed.
Being a survivor myself saved by nothing short of grace after decades of torment, it took me awhile to understand why I have such a gift of love for all beloveds and why forgiveness comes easily. When you have been hurt much and forgiven much by Love Himself, it makes it easy to pour love into others and situations that need a covering of peace and inspiration. Plus, I don’t want anyone to suffer all alone because all lives matter!
I have watched far too many Beloveds try and go at it alone and all they are doing by being shackled to shame and guilt is refusing the power that is available to them: Freedom! God did not design us for isolation to hide when we’re embarrassed and humiliated, He designed us to need others and to be seen. We need the power of our friends’ strength to encourage us to the finish line. There is no shame in our game; Jesus is His name!
With this recent heartache of rejection and my failed attempts at reconciliation, the stinger was easily removed because I didn’t hide in isolation from this “supposed shame” being rejected and unloved; therefore, its infection was thwarted in spreading. I knew I was loved by God and I needed the help of others to process sharing my heart or depression would have sunk in. This vulnerability of exposure removed the stinger before it did more damage. I bounced back rather quickly because my faith radiated who God says I am, along with walking alongside of girlfriends who helped open my eyes to see through the lens of Truth.
Friendships pull stingers out and bring healing to the sting before its infection spreads through love and support.
I don’t know about you, but I can spend way too much energy judging myself more critically and harsher than any abuser while believing the lies of the enemy. If only we could remember to spend our energy being the radiance of His Perfect Love! God does promise us His blessings, but many of these gifts require our active obedience and participation.
This is where God unveils His destiny in bringing beauty from my ashes through His purpose and plan for my pain. Now I get to love on others who are considered unlovable. I get to be a voice for those who lost theirs through abuse and abandonment. And now I’m honored to walk alongside of the masses who are walking through disease and death because I’ve walked victoriously through it myself.
Tasting and seeing the Lord is an invitation to experience the gift of His grace. “I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:4-5). Today I’m living in freedom and flying free of yesterday’s guilt, today’s fears, and tomorrow’s grave. All because God loves me just the way I am.
There’s something about freedom… The purity of the innocence in letting go and yet the boldness in knowing your life matters! We all want to know our lives matter.
Until next time..
Thank You For Being Beautiful You!